She's being distant?

[ScottMustaine]

I still don't get it how do you get her to get over you , you know, to drag her attention.

I for the first time in my life approached a girl on a street. Got her number, and 'got her' .

Basically she at first date was really distant, almost like some hater. I managed to make out with her and she started opening up.

Second date, great.

Third. Yup she's opening.

But she is static. Basically , If I don't go in for a kiss. There will be no kiss.

She doesn't want to 'hug' , or kiss. She just stares at me. All the time. I noticed she even stares at me when we kiss. I managed to make her kiss with closed eyes.

I was the one saying when we are going to meet etc.

Afar from that, she never initiates any contact.

So I made a contact to see each other again ( she lives near me ), and she flaked telling she's going out with her friends and she's busy. And I schedueled the next day. Which turned out to be a flake as she 'forgot to tell me she already made a deal' .
I went out with my bike and saw her. She wasn't lying when she said she was going with her friends. Saw her. But just passed near her, saying 'hi' with my head.

I'm sure she isn't seeing anyone since she's tagged all the time on facebook with her female friends.

So I told her not to drag it and if she doesn't want a relationship ( I guess we are in this **** ? ) to simply end it, it won't hurt me and it's best to end it now then later.

"No, I just am unorganized and sometimes get a need to simply be isolated. I even turn off my phone for days because I feel invaded. "


2 weeks later she said she was sorry and we went out.

So it was cool. Convo's were never a problem. But kino. I feel like I'm needy because I'm touching her. She doesn't kino back at all. No kissing , no hugging initiated by her.

Though she mentioned that I 'insulted' her friend in the past. I said I don't remember and that I feel bad if I did some bad things.

So I asked my friend who was present at that day and it was like this (we met in bus, and afterwards the female looked in my eye and talked to my friends ear)

-I was drunk back then-

Me: Hey, what did she say?
Him: She said you are stupid (it was a joke i didnt register)
Me: Oh really? Tell her she's stupid as well.


Yup that was it.


So... It's not like I had some great attention from her except convos got better. I know when a girl is over you she will bombard you with messages and will seek a way to see you. This one is...Passive. Any IDEAS how to get her attention or something?


Yes. I am spinning more plates. Got few interested in me. But I don't even know whether she wants a relationship or not. Don't want to have problems later. Should I just suggest her to be in 'open relationship' or whatever it is named when you date multiple girls and she guys ?

 

[alxrose04]

I wonder how the initial interaction went when you first got her number. One possibility may be that you did not build up enough comfort with her or create anything memorable for her when you first met. I may seem like she may be experiencing buyer's remorse. There's still time to fix it though. Just make sure that the next time you see her, make sure you play little games and find out about her family, passions, desires, etc. It's the comfort that separates you from that random guy that she gave her number to one time and the guy that she brags about to her friends.

 

[IKO69]

Don't put up with it. If she's not receptive at all to your advances than she's a cold fish and you're better served moving on. The one and only thing you have to keep in mind is: when a person is truly interested in you they will try to shorten the distance not increase it. There are so many women out there that this stuff becomes a waste of time. Go meet others and "take no prisoners"

 

[Fly By Night]

But she is static. Basically , If I don't go in for a kiss. There will be no kiss.

She doesn't want to 'hug' , or kiss. She just stares at me. All the time. I noticed she even stares at me when we kiss. I managed to make her kiss with closed eyes.

That pretty much sums up the relationship with my current. In my eyes, maybe she was thinking it as going to result in a ONS. I remember a date I had with some chick who was very distant, like taking out her cell phone and texting while I'm talking to her. But then still wouldn't mind making out and such. They don't really care about you, but they would like to use you as a dildo attached to a body.

You should probably just eff her and move on since she can only show you the BARE MINIMUM of attraction; showing up to the date only to be distant during it. Don't ask her for a relationship if she wouldn't care if you got ran over by a train.

You know what? Scratch that, you probably shouldn't eff her. I bet she lays on her back the whole time.

 

[ginganinja]

either she doesn't like you that much, or she's spinning plates, or both. don't put all your stock in her. she may be great and it may end up awesome, but you're no where near that with her right now. best thing for you to do is to meet someone else right now. make this girl number 2 or 3.

 

[ScottMustaine]

That pretty much sums up the relationship with my current. In my eyes, maybe she was thinking it as going to result in a ONS. I remember a date I had with some chick who was very distant, like taking out her cell phone and texting while I'm talking to her. But then still wouldn't mind making out and such. They don't really care about you, but they would like to use you as a dildo attached to a body.

You should probably just eff her and move on since she can only show you the BARE MINIMUM of attraction; showing up to the date only to be distant during it. Don't ask her for a relationship if she wouldn't care if you got ran over by a train.

You know what? Scratch that, you probably shouldn't eff her. I bet she lays on her back the whole time.

She was talking about how she 'tested' me on the first date. Since she was spitting out all her negative comments about everything and I was counter attacking with sarcasm. And I would continue being positive.

She :" You listen to Metallica ? Those guys are poseurs. I hate Metallica. "

Me: " You're such a cruel creature. They on the last concert said they said 'we love you people' . It's bad being such a hater. Your hair even went black because of hate."
-touches her hair-

Me:" Still, it smells nice. "

She: I hate people.

Me: I love 'em all. And they love me. Since everyone loves God.


I really can't remember anything better of the convo than this. These 'jokes' were utterly lame in my opinion but I know I had better ones. Even the stupid ones like these made her laugh.

So my little hamster is telling me she is closed or something waiting to open up. Not the first time I had a friend who was totally silent, and after month or two they would open up and blabber like girls. On the other hand she possible could have done that just to make me think that she needs to open ,so I could orbit around her.

I wonder how the initial interaction went when you first got her number. One possibility may be that you did not build up enough comfort with her or create anything memorable for her when you first met. I may seem like she may be experiencing buyer's remorse. There's still time to fix it though. Just make sure that the next time you see her, make sure you play little games and find out about her family, passions, desires, etc. It's the comfort that separates you from that random guy that she gave her number to one time and the guy that she brags about to her friends.

I approached her. Said Hi, asked how she's doing. (was going on concert) , I asked her about some past concert whether she went there, (she did) was it great bla bla. What school she is from, age , commented about the setlist of the concert she was going to. Said I gotta go to see my friends, though I'd love to go with her and get to know her better and told her to give me her number so we could meet up. Called 3 days later. Went on a date ( Read above), the next one we talked about our parents, friends, likes, dislikes.

Told her that her mom is a legend ( because the god damn woman is) , and her bro. Would like to meet them sometime or something.

But when we started talking about career future. She seemed not to know anything. She's uninterested in most of things. She takes them as they are and lets the things sort themselves out. Said she'll probably end up as ' alcoholic writer/poetist ' . That being said, she doesn't have any hobbies. All I noticed she is doing is basically reading books from time to time and going with her crazy female friends who look more like guys than girls. Short hair with crazy colours. Blue, green etc.


Funny thing is I would mostly think that she's cheating me. I had almost crazy 'reasons' to say the girls cheating me. For example commenting the celebrity who looks like me. My gut would tell me she is and few weeks later we break up.

No gut feeling with this one.


Thanks for all the answers guys. :rockon:


But I must ask one more question ? Should I tell her we can't go on anymore or something like that ? I felt utterly bad when I made out with one girl ( thought this one doesn't want to see me anymore, but called me after 2 weeks of abscence).

 

[nismo-4]

AFAIC, when a woman acts distant toward you, she's just not that into you. More than likely she has a better man lined up.

You should spin more plates too if you aren't already.

Case closed.