She's Been Bad (1993 versus 2016)

bigneil

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In 1993 I was 23 and was dating a near carbon copy of my current girl who was then 18. She was my first girlfriend. Both are extremely young, extremely attractive, and (I must assume) extremely promiscuous. Here is a comparison of how I handled such a bombshell at age 23 versus 46.

1993 (age 23):
Me: Have you been with any other guys?
Her: Why are you asking me that?
Me: Did you catch AIDS?
Her: Why would you say that?
Me: Because I know you cheated on me, you dirty ho.
Her: That does it. Take me home.
(I was by myself within the next hour and we broke up later that week)

2016 (age 46):
Me: You've been bad. Haven't you.
Her: I guess...
Me: So you understand that you need to be punished now.
Her: I know... (biting lip)
Me: Go over there and lay on your back on that coffee table, and take off your blouse.
Her: Yes, sir.
(She had 3 orgasms within the next hour and sent love letters later that week)

The Moral: never try to control her behavior. Simply reward good behavior and (chuckle) punish bad behavior.
 

Juanto

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Were these both gf? So you rewarded cheating with a boning session?
 

bigneil

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Were these both gf?
In 1993 yes, in 2016 not yet.

So you rewarded cheating with a boning session?
In neither case did I know for certain they had been with other people.

In one case, I let fear rule me (as Juanto clearly does) and I got dumped. In the other case, I let confidence rule me (and she submitted) and I got laid.

In the former case, I drove her away. In the latter case, I drew her closer.

Which girl do you think is more likely to stay with me in the long run? You can't whine your way into a commitment. Truth be told, most of the guys in their 20's go with the approach I used in my 20's.

Note that in each example there were three statements. The 2016 example is a true story while the 1993 version was my typical argument with her (and typical result). If 2016 had been unfaithful, the fact she got so turned on and came 3 times tells me she likes me better than the other guy. My approach is to percolate to the top of her list.

Guys: you need to accept the fact that HB8+ women (in 2016 and 1993) have 3 guys each and you can only get a commitment if it becomes her idea, and that will only happen if you satisfy her more than the other guys. So focus on that.
 
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Juanto

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In 1993 yes, in 2016 not yet.


In neither case did I know for certain they had been with other people.

In one case, I let fear rule me (as Juanto clearly does) and I got dumped. In the other case, I let confidence rule me (and she submitted) and I got laid.

In the former case, I drove her away. In the latter case, I drew her closer.

Which girl do you think is more likely to stay with me in the long run? You can't whine your way into a commitment. Truth be told, most of the guys in their 20's go with the approach I used in my 20's.

Note that in each example there were three statements. The 2016 example is a true story while the 1993 version was my typical argument with her (and typical result). If 2016 had been unfaithful, the fact she got so turned on and came 3 times tells me she likes me better than the other guy. My approach is to percolate to the top of her list.

Guys: you need to accept the fact that HB8+ women (in 2016 and 1993) have 3 guys each and you can only get a commitment if it becomes her idea, and that will only happen if you satisfy her more than the other guys. So focus on that.
If 2016 girl wasnt a gf then Im with you, it was a confident move.
 

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