She's always late... WTF?

[Evil_Muska]

Ok, so I've bee dating this awesome little chick for about a month now, and everything is going great.... except she's always late (and keeps being later every date).

We've been out on 3 dates so far.

Date#1: She's 20 min late and is bombarding me with texts the whole 20 mins saying how sorry she is.
Date #2: She just shows up late, no apology.
Date #3: I call and leave a message telling her I'm on my way. When i get to where we were going, AS SOON as I put it in park and realize she's not there, i get a call...

Her: "Yeahh sorry but I'm gunna be SUPER late... SUPER late..."
Me: "Super late meaning... like how late?"
Her: "Like an hour"
Me: "Oh... well I'm gunna go kill time and hang out with my buddy, call me when your close"

I'm supposed to be going with her to the fair tomorrow at 3pm, and I'm thinking I might just call at 1 and make sure there aren't going to be any setbacks.

Side note: I KNOW she digs me, thats not in question. Heck, in a txt convo the other day she indirectly told me that she was thinking about me and touching herself. Covered.

I just want to know any opinions or advice on women who are really late ALL THE TIME.

 

[Miles28]

Personally I hate this. It happens to everyone occasionally but for me if a person is persistently late and, worse, doesn't even see it as a big deal then I find it massively inconsiderate. A lot of people seem to have a more relaxed view about it (women especially seem to think it's their birthright to be as late as they want).

There's no point getting mad, it won't work. I would just calmly explain to her that it's something that bothers you and see what her reaction is. If she's a decent person she will give it some thought then agree to make a much bigger effort in the future. If she gets defensive or angry I'd say she's pretty spoilt and that would be a big red flag for me at least.

 

[Trader]

Ok, so I've bee dating this awesome little chick for about a month now, and everything is going great.... except she's always late (and keeps being later every date).

We've been out on 3 dates so far.

Date#1: She's 20 min late and is bombarding me with texts the whole 20 mins saying how sorry she is.
Date #2: She just shows up late, no apology.
Date #3: I call and leave a message telling her I'm on my way. When i get to where we were going, AS SOON as I put it in park and realize she's not there, i get a call...

Her: "Yeahh sorry but I'm gunna be SUPER late... SUPER late..."
Me: "Super late meaning... like how late?"
Her: "Like an hour"
Me: "Oh... well I'm gunna go kill time and hang out with my buddy, call me when your close"

I'm supposed to be going with her to the fair tomorrow at 3pm, and I'm thinking I might just call at 1 and make sure there aren't going to be any setbacks.

Side note: I KNOW she digs me, thats not in question. Heck, in a txt convo the other day she indirectly told me that she was thinking about me and touching herself. Covered.

I just want to know any opinions or advice on women who are really late ALL THE TIME.

Get over yourself - she is late, because you are not important enough for her to be on-time

 

[Evil_Muska]

Get over yourself - she is late, because you are not important enough for her to be on-time

Cook me, cut me up into tiny bite sized pieces, and EAT ME.

Douche.

Thanks for reminding me why I rarely bother coming to these forums.

 

[KingofHearts]

Her: "Yeahh sorry but I'm gunna be SUPER late... SUPER late..."
Me: "Super late meaning... like how late?"
Her: "Like an hour"

Being excessively late or consistently late is bs, i just don't have patience for that.

If a girl told me this over the phone, then I'm going to find something new to do. And I would just tell her "ok, then don't worry about", as in don't worry about coming. Usually whatever i'm taking her to, I can do by myself anyway. If that isn't possible, then I find something else. Sorry but I can't remember the last time I wasted an hour killing time for anybody. I just did the same thing today with my boss, left a message to him saying "i guess we'll catch up later". Everybody's time is important and I know crap happens, but I just wouldn't be able to respect myself if I had to wait that long.

If I was running late and the other person wanted to leave, I'm cool with that. If I really goof up (like I read the directions wrong or something) then I call and tell them to hold up and that I owe them dinner or a drink (<- especially if its a close friend). If its something they can start without me, then I tell them to do that.

Waiting an hour for some chick you barely know says a lot about yourself and it gives her an idea of what she can get away with.

Sorry to be so harsh but don't you have anything better to do??

 

[boomerick]

Traders right...

And you are the douche....

If you were REALLY into a chick wouldn't you want to be with her as much as possible and wouldn't you be on time because you REALLY wanted to get with her all the time ASAP?????

Now....flip it back around ......is she REALLY just waiting to get with you when ever she can as soon as she can?????

F*ck no she isn't....her interest level is dropping and you are causing it by not calling her on her disrespectful "lateness" girly testing BS......

Oh and by the way here's how easy it is to text you that ---- "I'm touching myself about you"-----....

That was easy enough does it mean that it happened....

You f*ckin wish .......

Bottom line girly girl is playing girly games ...

You've missed it....

Trader called it ...

You don't want to hear it...

So you cry victim and then call names.....

Good luck!

Over and Out.

 

[KingofHearts]

I just want to know any opinions or advice on women who are really late ALL THE TIME.

To answer this, women who arrive late either 1) don't care much about you, despite other IOI's or 2) they run late for everything

Either way, is it really worth your time?

In my experience I have NEVER met a woman that was into me who also arrived ridiculously late for a date. Halfway interested girls, some of them just show up when they want, screw that.

 

[Trader]

Get over yourself - she is late, because you are not important enough for her to be on-time

Cook me, cut me up into tiny bite sized pieces, and EAT ME.

Douche.

Thanks for reminding me why I rarely bother coming to these forums.

Guys with puffed up egos are quite hillarious. Keep drinking the kool-aid

A guy's ego is such an impediment - it prevents any sort of growth - because of course the problem lies always with the girl, never the guy himself

 

[kingsam]

Cook me, cut me up into tiny bite sized pieces, and EAT ME.

Douche.

Thanks for reminding me why I rarely bother coming to these forums.

dont get to worried about a 27 yr old virgins advice...

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some people are just really unorganised and late. she will not sudddeny start being on time!

get her to come round yours, so the "lateness" isnt so much of a deal and you dont have to hang about, OR pick her up!

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wether you put up with it is your decision, and she will prob get comfortable being late if she knows you will put up with it...
and shes not marrige material!

 

[Ease]

This is girl game.

The more you show a reaction to this or try to fight it, the more it will keep happening. Dont be fooled into making rash decisions or calling it out.

The magic way to kill this is to be late yourself.

Be 30 minutes late. Give a stupid excuse, brush it off and go on with the date without apologising. After playing the unreliable game with her for a few times, this problem will dissapear.

The rule of these situations, do exactly the same back to her, and dont call it out.

 

[scribblec]

Cook me, cut me up into tiny bite sized pieces, and EAT ME.

Douche.

Thanks for reminding me why I rarely bother coming to these forums.

hes right, if the girl told me shes gonna be super super late i would tell her not to bother and go make other plans for myself, my time is precious why does she think she can take the piss and make me wait, its usually the other way round

 

[BananaSmile]

Cook me, cut me up into tiny bite sized pieces, and EAT ME.

Douche.

Thanks for reminding me why I rarely bother coming to these forums.

its hard to handle the truth but you dont have to get defensive about it

 

[Kailex]

Next time she tells you she will be late (and it WILL happen), you just tell her that you are going to do something else instead and that you two should reschedule.

If you were running a business and you noticed a new employee started becoming increasingly tardy to come into work, what would you do?

Same principle. If you can't count on her to show up on time and she is always late, you can't count on her period.

I don't care what she says about touching herself, you measure her ACTIONS not WORDS.

It almost seems like she is testing the waters, to see HOW late she can be before you eventually snap. Right now... an HOUR? No way. My time is valuable, much more valuable to be wasted waiting for PRINCESS to decide to show up at whatever time she deems fit.

 

[Ease]

its hard to handle the truth but you dont have to get defensive about it

Cant blame the guy for shooting down virgin advice.

Do what i said for killer result. The one who cares less has power, no matter what you do, you will ultimately lose out when you care too much. Even when you care, you sometimes have to fake aloofness.

Its sneaky warfare. Highly X-rated and non-virgin advice.

 

[HolyG]

option 1 ) leave after 15 min

your time is valuable. just go. don't send a "reschedule text". leave and go do whatever else might be going on in your life.

Date 1) She shows up late, and sorry
you failed to lay down the rules. okay, now she thinks "pushover"

Date 2) No apology
Like a child misbehaving, she tests you further. again, you fail to display any unpredictability or dominance whatsoever

Date 3) Hour late?
WOW. Okay ...wow. dude I don't even know what to say. Either you let her push you around, or you grow up.

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Option 2 - Do what Ease says, and come late yourself. I haven't tried it, so I don't know, but you could give it a shot

--------------------------------

If you read the Mature Man forums, a poster named "jophil" was arriving at a girl's house for a date. He sat there, on the couch, while girl was on the phone, talking to other girls, and putting on makeup. offering no explanation. So he got up, and .....................left. After just 15 mins.

You might think that he just torpedoed his chances with her. NOPE just the opposite. She called him and came to him, all upset, but he refused to apologize. Guess who was in control now? A woman who walks all over you loses attraction as she does it.


a friend, who was a girl, told me she had just left to the store when I arrived at her place. I gave it 30 minutes and took off. She called apologizing...cuz she knew she screwed up. Not me. You communicate to other people that your time is valuable, and they'll start treating you like it is.

Seriously..........waiting a ****ing hour?

Actions speak louder than words.

 

[Voice]

Next time she tells you she will be late (and it WILL happen), you just tell her that you are going to do something else instead and that you two should reschedule.

If you were running a business and you noticed a new employee started becoming increasingly tardy to come into work, what would you do?

Same principle. If you can't count on her to show up on time and she is always late, you can't count on her period.

I don't care what she says about touching herself, you measure her ACTIONS not WORDS.

It almost seems like she is testing the waters, to see HOW late she can be before you eventually snap. Right now... an HOUR? No way. My time is valuable, much more valuable to be wasted waiting for PRINCESS to decide to show up at whatever time she deems fit.

This. I couldn't say it any better. Obviously she has interest in you. Honestly I think you're doing fine if this girl is telling you she's touching herself when thinking about you.

Ask her why she's always late, maybe she actually has a valid excuse. Contrary to what most people believe here some girls actually DO have lives outside dating. She may even be constantly late because she's taking a long time getting 'ready' for you. However, if a girl says she's gonna be an hour late, you're going to have to draw the line somewhere.

You don't even have to be all serious and stern about it at first. For example, I would jokingly tell her that she's losing points every time she's late and she may not have too many more opportunities with you. There are plenty of other ways you can handle this but c&f is the best.

Actually what you did was fine. I hate when people say on this board that just because you make one mistake, you automatically lost the girl's interest. That's BS.

Good luck.

 

[vatoloco]

...you measure her ACTIONS not WORDS.

WOAH!! Slow down there buddy! This stuff is... too complicated... can't... make sense of it...

:crackup:

I really don't understand why more men don't do this. Are our egos that big? Sh!t, we're fvcked then!

Honestly I think you're doing fine if this girl is telling you she's touching herself when thinking about you.

I don't care what any woman TELLS me. It's how she acts with/towards me that really matters.

If she says, "OMG vatoloco, everytime I see you I get wet down there!", it's all TALK unless I reach in there and verify myself... or we fvck right then and there and she was already wet.

Muska, I know you're not going to like this but, this chick's DISRESPECTING you. She's non-verbally telling you that she does not value YOU or YOUR TIME. At this point it's up to you what to do with this girl but, personally, I would not put up with this kind of disrespect.

Good luck to you my man.

 

[vatoloco]

Oh yeah, I forgot:

It almost seems like she is testing the waters, to see HOW late she can be before you eventually snap.

(This is more for the new folks)

WOMEN DO THIS. They test you to see how much they can get away with. Why do they do this? To see if you're worthy of their time. They want a man they can't push around. Another reason they do this is to see how much they'll be able to control any future relationship they may enter with you.

However, it's up to you to let them know early on that you are not gonna put up with bullsh!t. She's late with you? Let her know you're not gonna put up with it by cancelling the date and telling her "Hey listen sweetheart, it seems like you're really busy so we'll make it some other time."

She either drops you (because you didn't put up with her whims) OR, if she's interested, cuts the crap and begins showing up on time.

 

[Lexington]

You say you know she digs you. So she's not being late because she's not attracted to you/disrespecting you or whatever. She is just probably a habitually late person. You have to decide if you're willing to put up with that.

 

[JdelaSilviera]

As I´ve expected many replies saying she isn´t interested... that´s the major advice of this and other pua foruns.

If one doesn´t know that women can be that (and much more) weird and rude, while still being interested , you know nothing about women....

One of my best friends used to cancel dates with her boyfriend, and do other programs with me... and I can tell you she loved him... She just enjoyed to make him suffer a little..lol