Shedding the Player Vibe with Brutal Honesty.

[LJC]

So I mentioned on the forums recently that I signed up on Tinder a few weeks ago just for sh!ts, giggles and curiosity. Passive approach for the most part. Matched up with a few "Ivy league", lawyer, entrepreneur, personal trainer, bull****, high maintenance types, a few of which made first contact and I ignored. I don't really consider myself too good for such types, I stay humble enough, but the "look" in these women's faces often tells my gut that I'm just too tired to deal with this sh!t. I dunno. Call it intuition...

Anyway, I make a few more swipes today and match up with this one:

Spare me your rating system. I'm good with anything between a 7 and a 9, so long as I'm stricken with the right impression. I'm not out there to score "HB high" for you. I'm out there for me.

I read her bio and it's stand-off-ish. "No games! No BS! No Hook Ups! IF we match and you don't respond I'm deleting you!". If she was the high-cheek bone, "worldly", duck lips type, I would have swiped left faster than the app can keep up with. But "the look" on this one had struck my interest. I don't know why.

So I break the passive approach and make first contact.

I start off light with some humor than ask her where she's from. Just so happens I know a woman from her town and asks if she knows her. Her response:

"No. Why did you date her?"

I replied briefly in HS but were just friends. I then ask her what she's looking for. Her response:

"You didn't read my profile!"

Within seconds I respond that I did, and spit some of it back to her.

She then answers my question: "I'm looking for something long term"

I'm thinking: No sh!t. Really?

So I respond: "OK. So what do you want to know about me? Ask away".

She immediately grills me on if I've ever been married, when was my last relationship, etc. and after my response, she then asks how long it has been since I split up with my ex.

I tell her over a year.

She then asks how long I've been single.

What the fvck, right?

At this point I consider cutting lose. 20 minutes goes by. I don't respond. She then messages:

"Nice chatting with ya! lol".

As if she just caught me with my pants down.....

I then hit her with this response:

"I took a year off to focus on my own thing after the split. Back in Spring I started dating again through my social circles. I had a few "hook ups" here and there, but nothing of quality worth pursuing.

A few months ago I started talking to a woman I once hung out with who now lives out of state. We had some chemistry, had a few visits back and forth, but ultimately decided the distance was too much of a hurdle. We settled on a "friends with benefits" situation, but we also came to an agreement that if either of us were to find someone we wanted to be with, the other would back off and respect it.

I'm telling you this because I'm not a unick. I'm a man. A single man. And this is my life right now. I try to keep an open book with people, and like my ad said, I'm not afraid of the consequences of being honest.

In my opinion, this is what "no bullsh!t" should really look like with any man who is worth a damn. Everyone else is lying."

She not only agreed with me profusely, but even thanked me "truly" for giving it to her straight.

I then give her my number through Tinder and tell her to "Shoot me a text sometime if she's still interested".

I get a text seconds later: "Of course I am, silly!"

3 minutes passes by.....

She messages me though Tinder again:

"Sent you a text! lol! (heart emoji)"

A few more minutes passes by.

I respond via text: "Good. I'm out of town for a few days but maybe we can meet up when I get back. Keep in touch when the mood strikes and we'll work out the details".

"Sounds good!", she responds.

Now, I didn't post this sh1t to toot my own horn so I can show you how "alpha blah blah blah" I am. After all, I haven't won yet. I haven't closed yet. But I posted it in hopes of displaying to some guys how over-playing the game or trying way too hard to spin plates and keep secrets can work against you in unnecessary ways. How "red flags" are sometimes really just a "sh1t test". I posted this in hopes of showing how sometimes brutal honesty, indifference and transparency can benefit a man in this game, even if he is a player, and even if he is dealing with women who know and play the game.

It's not about analyzing the psyche of women and then tricking them. In my opinion, it's about blazing trails in ways most men are afraid to, in the ways women come to admire.

Discuss......

 

[RichardTheFrog]

That girl is hot to you?

This is why I always ask people to post pictures of the girls.

 

[ApolloSunGod]

To much game invested this is where you tell her your single & tell her straight up take it or leave it if not she can kick rocks..

 

[El Payaso]

She sounds like damaged goods.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Zero fvcks given if they think I'm giving off "player" vibes. IMO I think woman prefer that over a guy that's possibly a stage 5 clinger.

If she just has face pics on tiner usually it means she's a chunky monkey.

Based off her "no games, no BS, no hook ups"
that's pretty typical of a chick thats been pumped and dumped playing the tinder cöck carousel game.

 

[Julian]

That girl is hot to you?

This is why I always ask people to post pictures of the girls.

Thats funny coming from someone who never posts pics and always has some histerically ridiculous beta viewpoints.

 

[Fruitbat]

Ok so my OLD profile was set up so non-player....it was literally like a mariage and children man catalogue book. Suits, smart....solid guy. Not sexy fun.

That improved my responses immeasurably. I am post 30 though.

What I found were girls who had a huge bio of "No *******s, players" responded TERRIBLY. Even fat, worthless women who were projecting "I want steady marriage man" didn't want to know.

Fairly hot (in my opinion) and decent girls responded really well. Perhaps they smelled the reality was genuine, as I do genuinely want a GF and not to pump and dump.

OP, she isn't bad. Not sure your age fella but she's good enough to get quite a few messages online. I personally don't like the tits in shot though. That's a red flag for me, as I only went for women with almost entirely unsexual profiles. One plus point is they get less action, second is they are not there for good looking guys (I am not chad) and thirdly, women look good when they meet you regardless (you can tell the ones who doll up well).

I would bet my last £ that she does respond to players and PUA game. The pic and look says it all. Also, her profile basically says "I am suspect in falling for players"

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Thats funny coming from someone who never posts pics and always has some histerically ridiculous beta viewpoints.

I just posted pics a few days ago, and I'm way more alpha than you'll ever be.

Never seen you post any pics.

 

[Julian]

I just posted pics a few days ago, and I'm way more alpha than you'll ever be.

Never seen you post any pics.

Link the pics frogger.

 

[MrJack]

So I mentioned on the forums recently that I signed up on Tinder a few weeks ago just for sh!ts, giggles and curiosity. Passive approach for the most part. Matched up with a few "Ivy league", lawyer, entrepreneur, personal trainer, bull****, high maintenance types, a few of which made first contact and I ignored. I don't really consider myself too good for such types, I stay humble enough, but the "look" in these women's faces often tells my gut that I'm just too tired to deal with this sh!t. I dunno. Call it intuition...

Anyway, I make a few more swipes today and match up with this one:

Spare me your rating system. I'm good with anything between a 7 and a 9, so long as I'm stricken with the right impression. I'm not out there to score "HB high" for you. I'm out there for me.

I read her bio and it's stand-off-ish. "No games! No BS! No Hook Ups! IF we match and you don't respond I'm deleting you!". If she was the high-cheek bone, "worldly", duck lips type, I would have swiped left faster than the app can keep up with. But "the look" on this one had struck my interest. I don't know why.

So I break the passive approach and make first contact.

I start off light with some humor than ask her where she's from. Just so happens I know a woman from her town and asks if she knows her. Her response:

"No. Why did you date her?"

I replied briefly in HS but were just friends. I then ask her what she's looking for. Her response:

"You didn't read my profile!"

Within seconds I respond that I did, and spit some of it back to her.

She then answers my question: "I'm looking for something long term"

I'm thinking: No sh!t. Really?

So I respond: "OK. So what do you want to know about me? Ask away".

She immediately grills me on if I've ever been married, when was my last relationship, etc. and after my response, she then asks how long it has been since I split up with my ex.

I tell her over a year.

She then asks how long I've been single.

What the fvck, right?

At this point I consider cutting lose. 20 minutes goes by. I don't respond. She then messages:

"Nice chatting with ya! lol".

As if she just caught me with my pants down.....

I then hit her with this response:

"I took a year off to focus on my own thing after the split. Back in Spring I started dating again through my social circles. I had a few "hook ups" here and there, but nothing of quality worth pursuing.

A few months ago I started talking to a woman I once hung out with who now lives out of state. We had some chemistry, had a few visits back and forth, but ultimately decided the distance was too much of a hurdle. We settled on a "friends with benefits" situation, but we also came to an agreement that if either of us were to find someone we wanted to be with, the other would back off and respect it.

I'm telling you this because I'm not a unick. I'm a man. A single man. And this is my life right now. I try to keep an open book with people, and like my ad said, I'm not afraid of the consequences of being honest.

In my opinion, this is what "no bullsh!t" should really look like with any man who is worth a damn. Everyone else is lying."

She not only agreed with me profusely, but even thanked me "truly" for giving it to her straight.

I then give her my number through Tinder and tell her to "Shoot me a text sometime if she's still interested".

I get a text seconds later: "Of course I am, silly!"

3 minutes passes by.....

She messages me though Tinder again:

"Sent you a text! lol! (heart emoji)"

A few more minutes passes by.

I respond via text: "Good. I'm out of town for a few days but maybe we can meet up when I get back. Keep in touch when the mood strikes and we'll work out the details".

"Sounds good!", she responds.

Now, I didn't post this sh1t to toot my own horn so I can show you how "alpha blah blah blah" I am. After all, I haven't won yet. I haven't closed yet. But I posted it in hopes of displaying to some guys how over-playing the game or trying way too hard to spin plates and keep secrets can work against you in unnecessary ways. How "red flags" are sometimes really just a "sh1t test". I posted this in hopes of showing how sometimes brutal honesty, indifference and transparency can benefit a man in this game, even if he is a player, and even if he is dealing with women who know and play the game.

It's not about analyzing the psyche of women and then tricking them. In my opinion, it's about blazing trails in ways most men are afraid to, in the ways women come to admire.

Discuss......

Frog must be a billionaire CEO because that girl is definitely hot based on that picture. I'd say HB7.5-8

BUT

These girls are kinda rare on tinder (the type who respond super fast like that right away to a tinder stranger) and just by reading this I can tell it would be absolute hell being in an LTR with her.

She so open for you right off the bat because nobody else will take her.. hence why she's on tinder if all places looking for a legit relationship she claims. Tinder isn't the place for relationships it's for hookups.

And she does seem like a girl who responds to player types because ALL girls are attracted to player personality traits.

I'd try and smash as long as I can until the fling dies out. Then find new plate to replace.

@El Payaso is right she sounds like damaged goods.

 

[The Duke]

@LJC- you triggered her emotions by putting it out there like that. Thats what they want. Doesn't matter how you did it, just that you did. It won't work for every one of them, but good job.

Like the others said, be careful.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Frog must be a billionaire CEO because that girl is definitely hot based on that picture. I'd say HB7.5-8

BUT

These girls are kinda rare on tinder (the type who respond super fast like that right away to a tinder stranger) and just by reading this I can tell it would be absolute hell being in an LTR with her.

She so open for you right off the bat because nobody else will take her.. hence why she's on tinder if all places looking for a legit relationship she claims. Tinder isn't the place for relationships it's for hookups.

And she does seem like a girl who responds to player types because ALL girls are attracted to player personality traits.

I'd try and smash as long as I can until the fling dies out. Then find new plate to replace.

@El Payaso is right she sounds like damaged goods.

Her hair is dyed. She's overweight. Looks stupid. Also, the whole "damaged goods" thing which were never "goods" in the first place.

 

[MrJack]

Her hair is dyed. She's overweight. Looks stupid. Also, the whole "damaged goods" thing which were never "goods" in the first place.

Lol she doesn't look overweight you can tell in the face. I guess you can't say for sure though.

 

[Fruitbat]

I don't understand responses like this. I sat in my recliner nursing a cold Heineken, investing maybe 5 minutes worth of thumb motion overall. I don't really consider that much of an investment in time and effort.



I've already achieved that.



Hey deesade. Just curious. Was this something you did with your ex right from day 1, or was it something you did with her at a later point? I've done it both ways over the years and certainly learned the folly of doing the later. But I can't really say I've had issues with women I've done this with straight out of the gates with. Those women typically ended up being "plates" through mutual agreement, and in most cases they just faded off eventually without much drama or hard feelings. I'm still on good terms with most.




Most likely. I have a pretty solid idea on what type I'm dealing with here. But it's irrelevant to me. I'm not looking for a wife. She may want a LTR, and I may be open to one myself, but that doesn't mean this is where it all has to go. I have found no shortage of women who, in the end, come up as far more malleable then they often lead people to believe.



This is where I was kind of hoping the thread would go, because I've done exactly the same as you have before and had gotten completely opposite results.

I'm post-30 as well. When I convey the non-player, good husband material type, many "good women" immediately think of me as a player, especially when it's through an online medium. I'm no Calvin Klein model, but I'm above average in looks. The town I live in conveys money, so any woman who knows the area knows what she's getting. College educated. Travel a bit, good sense of humor, backbone....and so on. Mix all that with the genuine, quality hubby vibe, and I somehow end up being something women suspect is too good to be true. I must be a player if I'm still single. There must be something wrong in a big way if I haven't been snatched up yet. Ironically, the less I try to appear the player, the more it seems I have to overcome the stigmatic hurdles of being that type.

So for me, the way I convey myself, my persona, my style... I found that I actually benefit more when I am a little more open and direct about my lifestyle, regardless of the type of woman.

This may not work so well for other guys. Younger guys or guys with a different style and demeanor might benefit more, themselves, by playing it very differently. But that's the point. Sometimes, for some men, embracing that vibe is the best way to shed it.

Well, we differ in as much as I don't bother much keeping fit at present. perhaps it's that combo which spells danger.

bear in mind we might be approaching different women. I don't like women with "sexy" profiles, I don't even like women showing cleavage. The woman you show is just a woman I wouldn't go for. This is not a diss, she just isn't my type. I can't explain what my type is, but it's actually not "classy"....it's more quirky. Or foreign. I like foreign girls and they seem to love me, always have. I am a bit quirky as a person and I just don't want the blonde office gal....I tend to want women with a bit of....I don't know...just a bit odd! Idoubt that girl above would be the type who would date me. Those girls want what you describe, and I am not it, nor have I ever been.

The women I date seem to have looks low in the priorities.

They are either foreign girls who are generally uber-realistic about men cheating and go for men who are solid, reliable and probably likely to hang around OR women who have intelligence and conversation as their main thing,because I am shyt hot at chatting with intelligent-ish women. I am a semi-nerd and I have a massively wide knowledge of pointless things and I can entertain them for hours. Not being big headed here, I know my weaknesses and strengths and conventional crumpet don't want these strengths but other crumpet does!

 

[sosousage]

its been confirmed by graph statistically that most women on edating are seeking just for attention. having same profiles for 4 years not even bothering texting but still matching with us. they all are extremaly mad for "sex jokes" or any "jokes" and will report/remove you but what can you do when they are both boring and barely replying.

Ive speend my time on T and i have to say I wasted it. in most cases i date women of lower quality than me (only from that app) and its with all that time/frustration investment in the app. not worth it. I will uninstall it as I start doing day game or something else

 

[sosousage]

She's probably not 102 pounds, but she doesn't strike me as fat either. But whatever. Not going to over-analyze it. Truth always comes out sooner or later. I'm not the type to put all of my eggs in one basket anyway.

Matched up with this one today and she sent a simple "hi" message. Haven't responded yet. Sometimes I just swipe right to see what kind of interest I'm getting. I get the impression her heart is as black as her hair. lol.

whats wrong with their faces? looks plastic as hell. im not saying i wouldnt bang them, because i would, but they look bad

 

[MrJack]

whats wrong with their faces? looks plastic as hell. im not saying i wouldnt bang them, because i would, but they look bad

All women do nowadays is put some sort of filter on their photos. My buddy's gf filters her face in literally every photo she posts and tbh it looks like shyt. Some unnatural fake Barbie looking shyt. But I guess that's one of the big media influences with women.

 

[Trump]

Anyway, I make a few more swipes today and match up with this one:

Spare me your rating system. I'm good with anything between a 7 and a 9, so long as I'm stricken with the right impression. I'm not out there to score "HB high" for you. I'm out there for me.

6.8

But "the look" on this one had struck my interest. I don't know why.

Because she is blond and bitchy looking.

Just so happens I know a woman from her town and asks if she knows her. Her response:

"No. Why did you date her?"

I replied briefly in HS but were just friends. I then ask her what she's looking for. Her response:

"You didn't read my profile!"

Within seconds I respond that I did, and spit some of it back to her.

She then answers my question: "I'm looking for something long term"

I'm thinking: No sh!t. Really?

So I respond: "OK. So what do you want to know about me? Ask away".

She immediately grills me on if I've ever been married, when was my last relationship, etc. and after my response, she then asks how long it has been since I split up with my ex.

I tell her over a year.

She then asks how long I've been single.

What the fvck, right?

At this point I consider cutting lose. 20 minutes goes by. I don't respond. She then messages:

"Nice chatting with ya! lol".

As if she just caught me with my pants down.....

I then hit her with this response:

"I took a year off to focus on my own thing after the split. Back in Spring I started dating again through my social circles. I had a few "hook ups" here and there, but nothing of quality worth pursuing.

A few months ago I started talking to a woman I once hung out with who now lives out of state. We had some chemistry, had a few visits back and forth, but ultimately decided the distance was too much of a hurdle. We settled on a "friends with benefits" situation, but we also came to an agreement that if either of us were to find someone we wanted to be with, the other would back off and respect it.

I'm telling you this because I'm not a unick. I'm a man. A single man. And this is my life right now. I try to keep an open book with people, and like my ad said, I'm not afraid of the consequences of being honest.

In my opinion, this is what "no bullsh!t" should really look like with any man who is worth a damn. Everyone else is lying."

She not only agreed with me profusely, but even thanked me "truly" for giving it to her straight.

I then give her my number through Tinder and tell her to "Shoot me a text sometime if she's still interested".

I get a text seconds later: "Of course I am, silly!"

3 minutes passes by.....

She messages me though Tinder again:

"Sent you a text! lol! (heart emoji)"

A few more minutes passes by.

I respond via text: "Good. I'm out of town for a few days but maybe we can meet up when I get back. Keep in touch when the mood strikes and we'll work out the details".

"Sounds good!", she responds.

Now, I didn't post this sh1t to toot my own horn so I can show you how "alpha blah blah blah" I am. After all, I haven't won yet. I haven't closed yet. But I posted it in hopes of displaying to some guys how over-playing the game or trying way too hard to spin plates and keep secrets can work against you in unnecessary ways. How "red flags" are sometimes really just a "sh1t test". I posted this in hopes of showing how sometimes brutal honesty, indifference and transparency can benefit a man in this game, even if he is a player, and even if he is dealing with women who know and play the game.

It's not about analyzing the psyche of women and then tricking them. In my opinion, it's about blazing trails in ways most men are afraid to, in the ways women come to admire.

Discuss......

OK whatever works. I would have just said

"I read your profile and thought we could connect, do you have a phone number we can chat?"

 

[QuadDeuces]

One of the chicks I'm boning atm has been telling me from the start that she doesn't do hookup's, is looking for something long term, and would like a long term boyfriend. I always nod and smile and say OK baby let's watch a movie.
In the meantime she has svcked my **** 6x and I have fvcked her 4x and she doesn't know anything about me, hasn't been at my house, updates her Tinder profile daily with sexy pics and only calls/texts me when she needs sex, and a hug.

When women say no hook ups, no one night stands, they just want to convey: "Look I'm special, a model citizen, I'm not a slut, please respect me"
But in the meanwhile they just want to be fvcked and hugged without any drama.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I'd rate the blond a 7, and the black-haired one I would unmatch immediately. For me though a woman's personality does so much more. If i had a date with an 8 one night who was just kinda blah and a 5 the next night who laughed at all my jokes and kept the convo going and our interaction fun, I'm going back to the 5 every time.