She wants to be "handled", with assertiveness and force

[XRubicon]

She tells me that she wants to be handled, with assertiveness and force. She describes scenarios where she is being ordered to stay quiet as I hold her down and expose her, then make her ***. She clearly likes to be lead. Wants to be taken with assertiveness. I have been very dominant physically, positioning her, moving her physically, lifting her, telling her what I want her to do during the act. It seems that this is still not the extent of what she wants.
My question is, How can i learn more about this. Is it a form of Domination/ submission? Where can I learn more about the Psychology of it so that I do it right. Having her explain it to me would take away the excitement for her, I'm supposed to just "get it", and I don't, at least not with the details that will make it successful for me. The word "Handle /Handling", seems to have a meaning that I need explained. Where can I go for this info? Thank you.

 

[zekko]

Yes, it's dominance/submission, she wants rough sex.
She wants to be taken, to feel your strength and dominance over her.
It's the ultimate expression of male and female, really.
It's ironic that the current feminist state of the society makes it easier to ask for this sort of thing, while at the same time suppressing men from expressing it.

 

[XRubicon]

I always make the assumption that i am being ****e tested. No, she is not Hispanic, but i get the Alpha Widow vibe from her, and I know that there was a Hispanic dude she dated at one time.
She is very at ease with me making decisions/ plans. She gets very turned on if i tell her that she needs to be punished for something. She is extremely feminine. I have taken those cues and make sure that I am very dominant physically. I have a muscular, imposing appearance that I think attracted her. I get pre-selection working for me a lot with her as she sees me in my work environment. But we all know that sex is only part physical. I am trying to tune into the language, that will make her head spin. The non sexual or pre-sexual responsive desire stuff that will specifically hit her buttons. She returns for more, so i realize i'm getting it right. Just trying to reach a little deeper to broaden my skill set.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

She tells me that she wants to be handled, with assertiveness and force. She describes scenarios where she is being ordered to stay quiet as I hold her down and expose her, then make her ***. She clearly likes to be lead. Wants to be taken with assertiveness. I have been very dominant physically, positioning her, moving her physically, lifting her, telling her what I want her to do during the act. It seems that this is still not the extent of what she wants.
My question is, How can i learn more about this. Is it a form of Domination/ submission? Where can I learn more about the Psychology of it so that I do it right. Having her explain it to me would take away the excitement for her, I'm supposed to just "get it", and I don't, at least not with the details that will make it successful for me. The word "Handle /Handling", seems to have a meaning that I need explained. Where can I go for this info? Thank you.

Yes it is D/s - Domination and submission. The basics should be discussed in a non D/s environment. Having her explain things in that forum is fine, it doesn't take away from the excitement.
You need to make sure it is Safe Sane and Consensual. You need to know her hard and soft limits. You need to discuss her wants (kinks). That does NOT mean you have to do these things. You do as much as you feel comfortable with.
I'm guessing, from what you've said, that she wants to be restricted, constrained (both physically and mentally), ordered to complete tasks, rough sex and for you to take the lead. Don't do anything dangerous eg tying her up with silk scarves and no scissors nearby, breath hold by the throat etc. a lot of play like this can be very dangerous.
PM me if you like, but not if you're going to waste my time (I see you're 47 years old and a new member. Just FYI I hate trolls). Regards.

 

[glass half full]

hair pulling (not real hard, but controlling), light biting/nibbling, you being "the boss" taking charge of her body and mind. Smacking her ass. That kind of stuff.

 

[XRubicon]

She told me she likes rough, hardcore sex. That she likes to be challenged, and that I may be surprised at her ability to rise to the occasion. She likes when i physically toss her around with ease, being the boss, that I say and do as I please with her. So i am doing all the physical stuff, i am getting it right. I suppose the next component is the mental/ psychological part that i mentioned. That is the piece that i feel needs development. Thank you all for your responses.

 

[Bible_Belt]

https://www.pinterest.com/pandoradraven/shibari-fetish-and-bondage/

 

[exhausted]

come on man this is common sense

 

[parkthebus]

Take her on a night out. Seduce. Take home. Tie her up. Ruin her.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Right...tell her you own her, that she is your dirty little ***** and you will do what you like to her when you want. Make her wait for your attention. Punish her for making eye contact without your permission or not calling you master. Stick a collar and leash on her and tell her she is your dog, your pet, then **** her like a dog.make her beg to touch you or please you. If she is good enough you can reward her by cuming on her. If she is hard core spit on her, piss on her or worse.

Before you start decide on boundaries and safety words, respect them. Red light, orange light, green light are pretty good. Know your own tendencies as well. If you struggle to control your own sadism then maybe this is not something you should be starting.

There are other punishments besides pain, denying clothing, attention, touch, orgasm or the right to speak are all powerful punishments.

She may just be one of those head cases who only feels happy in an abusive relationship. If so she may provoke you until you do hit her. The law is not on your side in this instance.
I hope it stays fun and interesting for you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

also check out fetlife.com

 

[Atom Smasher]

Pretty soon fetlife is going to be referring people to SoSuave...

OP, also think about "surprise attacks", so-to-speak. Nail her when she least expects it. Find a secluded spot outdoors where you would have some privacy, get her out there on pretext of a hike or picnic or whatever and attack.

 

[ubercat]

Hmm anyone got advice on mild version with a girl who s new to bondage - I.e. more erotic less abusive

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://amwyckid.com/Shibari.html

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Take her on a night out. Seduce. Take home. Tie her up. Ruin her.

Best laugh I've had here today! Thanks!

 

[ubercat]

I didn't want to go over to her place last night so I introduced her to phone sex. Chinese girl so anything sexually adventurous is new to her. She was damn good at following instructions and loved the dirty talk. She's complaining a lot that she doesn't want to be tied up. Heheh she went on about it for a long time so it's obviously on her mind. She wants to do some housework for me naked but for an apron. And she was up for some food and sex fantasies. I'll wait to when she's close to comie and just tie her up and see if she winges too much. Looks like the old cat is going to learn some new tricks.

 

[Huffman]

Any more tips for slightly tuning up the dominance? Not sure if my new girl here is into hardcore stuff (she doesn't like to swallow..) but she's generally submissive and cums easily so I think there's potential. I really don't have any idea about her fantasies at this point.

Going to use a blindfold this weekend and see how it goes.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Be slightly more dominant maybe...
Do you want to be more dominant? If you do **** her like you want to **** her... not like you think she might like to be ****ed. That seems like the opposite of dominance.
Dont ask her what she would like, tell her what she will like, while you are doing it.
Easy dominance light- hard nipple pinching, calling her a slut dirty *****, putting a collar on her (real subs take this very seriously), spanking hard, light choking, facials and money shots, making her beg to suck your ****, anal, hair pulling (make a fist close to the scalp), hot wax, adjustable nipple clamps,..

 

[ubercat]

I tied her up with a dressing gown cord. Nice and soft and with a bit of give in it so no danger and she could crash around a bit. Played some hot cold games with liquid foods. Bought a cheap plug in electric hot plate to keep the chocolate and honey hot. Had the ice in a little picnic chiller so it didn't get too slushy. I also used a vibrator to get her very worked up and then went to make myself a drink.

You could also try inserting food e.g. tiny smooth skinned cucumber in her **** and making huh eat it or lick it clean.

Serious safety warning make sure you have a safety word and never leave her tied up and gagged I'm hoping the reasons are very obvious

 

[ubercat]

I'd combine that with dirty talk as per @daddymonsterpoodle s advice. The physical stuff just really ads spice to the erotic submission that is going on in her head.