she wants my attention. I ask her out. No response. But wants my attention AGAIN? wtp

[hop On hop Off]

I don't get this. I have asked my housemate to different activities: out to a housemate trip, to church, one-on-one going out. She says yes 50% the time, which I assume she doesn't like me. THAT'S FINE, but...

When I come home every night, start talking to my housemates in the living room, she comes down pretending to get water, or grab something from the fridge. Fishing for my attention. I ignore her, continue laughing and talking with everyone else. She goes back to her room.

My plan is NC/cold shoulder weekdays, and suddenly approach on the weekend, ask her to do something with me. She seems bit confused by my action, which is good.

The thing I don't get is: you(the girl) try so hard to get my attention weekdays, and you get ignored. And then when I ask you out on the weekend, you refuse to come 50% of the time?! What do you want? I am ignoring her partially because of this behavior.

What does she want? Whip me around? That's not gonna happen. So, what's a good fix to this? Yes, I am interested in the girl.

 

[LiveYourDream]

It seems to me that she would like you to ONLY be a friendly, decent, housemate. That is all.

Most men realize pursuing women they work with is not wise. What leads you to believe that pursuing your housemate is wise? Seriously? Time to wise up.

It seems to me that you are making a housemate situation very awkward. Stop with your bouts of drama, hot/cold friendliness and NC.

I suggest, you treat her as a housemate and that is all moving forward. Be a decent housemate and do your part to keep a happy household and drop the drama.

Move on to new women already.
End of Story.

 

[hop On hop Off]

Ok, fair enough.
Thanks for the tough words. You definitely helped me instill some decency in me. Time to treat her like a friend.

 

[hudpes]

My bet is she actually likes you, but doesn't want a relationship with you because you are flatmates. So she's nice to you during weekdays because there will be no attack but come weekend, she's being bombarded and evades the girlfriend-boyfriend zone of action, she won't allow herself to be put in a position which you could understand as a go-ahead. Do like you said, treat her like a friend, but still be a man about it, so also treat her like a gentleman would, with that, you can only gain.

 

[hop On hop Off]

My bet is she actually likes you, but doesn't want a relationship with you because you are flatmates. So she's nice to you during weekdays because there will be no attack but come weekend, she's being bombarded and evades the girlfriend-boyfriend zone of action, she won't allow herself to be put in a position which you could understand as a go-ahead. Do like you said, treat her like a friend, but still be a man about it, so also treat her like a gentleman would, with that, you can only gain.

hudpes,
After watching her through her actions, I think you are actually right. It's probably a good thing that she's moving out this month. I can ask her out like a normal person.

This morning, I sporadically decided to slip a paper through her door. I asked her to confirm our outing, and see if she uses the chat app with my username. She added me a few minutes later. Teased her a bit in during the chat, she replied with smiley faces and quick message. I told her I have to go.

I logged off, came downstairs to see her how she would act. She talked and laughed with me like nothing happened. No crazy eye-rolling reactions.

Not sure if she feel pressured when she agreed to go out with me. She asked if she could bring the girl housemate. I told her if she doesn't feel comfortable, she should.(I sounded quite nervous) I told her I am doing this because I am obligated to, this is a pair of tickets from my pastor. (she didn't even ask)

Should I make this outing exclusive? Use this time to build rapport and chemistry.

The downside of exclusive is, our conversation probably will get boring. I will be nervous, I won't know what to talk about. I have until tomorrow to decide.

Alternatively, I can put some good music like Tiësto, and build the adrenaline that way.

Last time in my car, our conversation was dry. I was nervousness turned into anxiety. My mind blanked out, she sensed it, and tried to talk me out.

So, should I take the opportunity to go exclusive or bring more housemate and continue treating her like a friend?

btw, as far as drama goes, I think she's pretty much seen it all with me.