She shows signs of interest... However

[flyboysp]

There is this girl at work that I like, and I would like people's opinion on what I should do. I'm already convinced that she was flirting and showing interest based on the following

*Occasionally calls me Boo Boo or Big Bear at work. As far as I am aware I am the only person at work she calls that.
*Often comes into my department just to talk ( I cant leave my area) and muck about, sometimes with sad/innocent pouty look on her face
*She will also come in unexpectedly for hugs, and resting/leaning her head on my neck and shoulder area. She is the one who initiates the physical contact.
*She often says she is able to stay back at night, when I happen to be supervising. At teh front of the store it would just be us.
*We try to talk to each other during our shifts whenever possible. A manager even mentioned/asked if were/are/should going out because we talk a lot.
*Last week for the first time between us, we kissed twice, but it was just a quick kiss on her cheek.Once again she initiated.
*A Majority of people at work think she is very sociable and outoing, and a small handful of people think that she is a bit flirtatious in general
*She broke up wth her ex 2 months ago, and i am of a similar build and looks

However, one of my female work colleagues asked her if she was seeing anyone at the moment or if she was intersted, which she said no, and that she was avoiding her ex because he was still following her. Another work friend of mine asked her if there was anything happening between us to which she said no, and that she saw me as a big brother.

I only found out about these conversations in the last 1-2 days. Ever since I found out about this, the girl (Dayna)has been a little bit more flirty and a bit self conscious about her looks . Midway through our shifts today she mentioned that she had a pimple and started covering her face with her hand, with me just telling her not to worry about it. She also brought up as a topic, her school formal and what her and her friends were doing.

So what do you guys think I should do? Move on, ask her out or wait things out for a bit?

P.S. Sorry about the long post.

 

[Lucifero]

ok "flyboy",

The NEXT TIME you speak with her get close to her with nothing in between you. You need to tell her that you think she is cute and interesting. Then tell her to give you her phone number. Infact say "You should give me your number." Notice you did not ask, you stated. After she does that, which she should if what you posted was correct, say "Come here." and give her a kiss on the cheek and say "My turn." then she should give you one...then call her for coffee or something...

If s he doesnt do the kiss thing its cool, go with the flow. If she doesnt give you her number she is not interested and you got FZed. Move on, and dont beg for her number...ask once...

But the most important thing for you to do is to ask for her number the NEXT time you see her..and please dont go gaga over with *****.

Good luck.

Edit-- Oh and if you have BALLS, you could do what this thread says:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=179109

Just dont do it at work...

 

[todays_news]

asking her for her number depends on:

How long has this been going on for?

If its a longer period of time, piping up randomly asking for her number is random. You should arrange to meet outside work, or at least lunch and then ask for a number to help that take place. IMO you should arrange to meet before getting her number, as getting her number for no apparent cause opens a whole new kettle of when to text, what to say, the same applies to a phonecall.

I think your best bet is to escalate as much as you can and arrange a date, cut the phone number out as the bridge between the two.

 

[flyboysp]

asking her for her number depends on:

How long has this been going on for?

If its a longer period of time, piping up randomly asking for her number is random. You should arrange to meet outside work, or at least lunch and then ask for a number to help that take place. IMO you should arrange to meet before getting her number, as getting her number for no apparent cause opens a whole new kettle of when to text, what to say, the same applies to a phonecall.

I think your best bet is to escalate as much as you can and arrange a date, cut the phone number out as the bridge between the two.

It has been going on for about 2-3 months. I have liked her for alot longer than this, but since she split with her ex, things have progressed to what has been described above.

There is this place I know she has not been to before, and wants to go to, however, i asked her if she wanted to come with me and my freinds and her friends, but she said no.

 

[flyboysp]

For the last point I forgot to mention that I asked her this a month ago, giving her about 2 weeks notice.

Also we have had lunch on one occasion which was spur of the moment deal. We also share drinks (fruit smoothies) a bit.

 

[Kailex]

My initial question is: Would the outcome of this situation affect your performance and is your job important to you?


Don't ignore the fact that this is a girl you work with, hence, complicating the situation a little more. How important is your job to you? If it's very important, forget about the situation, it will probably only have a negative effect on you. Why? Look at all of the heresay already going on about the two of you and you haven't even gone out.

Also, ignore what your other co-workers know about the situation by asking her. I'd never trust another person's opinion about the situation or what they heard. For all you know, she'll call you big brother to the co-workers but she might be using her vibrator at night while she slowly exhales YOUR name. What they know, heard, and say... doesn't matter.

Stop reading into IOI's. They mean nothing.
She could be interested... she could be an AW.
If you really want to ask her out... then just do it, but my biggest fear is that you say this has been going on for 2 to 3 months, and you might be running into a situation where she is flirty with you because you were friend-zoned a while ago. She can be flirty with you because you are harmless.

You probably take these so-called IOI's as buying signs when in reality, she might be like this with you because she feels comfortable with you, but not the sexual kind of comfort.

Kisses on cheeks mean nothing. Hell, nowadays kissing on the lips means nothing.


But all of this is an ode to overthinking.
If you want to know if she likes you enough, ask her out. You will have your answer there. But first ask yourself how important your job is to you and then go from there.



EDIT: Why are you asking her to go places with your friends and her friends? Are you 14? Ask her out 1 on 1. PLEASE. You're supposed to be eliminating any outside influence, not inviting it into the equation.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Why do all you guys take so much stock in what a girl says?!!! Women are illogical, what they SAY has no bearing on what they end up doing. Seriously there WORDS mean absolutely NOTHING!

Women will say "were not having sex tonight" only to be bouncing up and down on your junk an hour later.

Women will deny having interest in a guy, only to be dating him a few weeks later.

Women will say they want a nice, sweet guy who is educated and has a good job; only to be dating a college drop out, with long hair, who's trying to make it big in a band.

The point is, rarely, if EVER, do a woman's words match up with what they end up doing. You are getting some signs of interest, but your not confident in yourself, so your letting that little voice in the back of your mind create a cloud of doubt and now focusing on her words that say "low to no interest" to make you over-analyze.

Its really simple, this woman is showing signs of interest, however you said this has been going on for a few months AND that you work with her. Easiest way to find out is to ask her out 1 on 1. If she agrees then your suspected interest is confirmed, if she says she can't on that particular day AND doesn't offer another day, then its safe to assume her interest in you sexually isn't there.

Man up, and go get what you want, if you succeed, great; if not then you can stop wondering and then figure out where your going wrong, so you can do better with the next one.





PIMP

 

[zekko]

But all of this is an ode to overthinking.
If you want to know if she likes you enough, ask her out. You will have your answer there.

Whenever I've messed up a situation like this, it's been because I waited too long, and she lost interest. I spent too much time wondering if she was attracted, how to attract her, etc. (I've never been good at picking up IOIs).

If she's sending you signals, man up and ask her out. That's what the man is for. She should be impressed by your ability to take charge and go get what you want. That's the man's role. Anything less and she will either think you're not interested or think you're too timid or clueless to make a move, and she will lose attraction. And when you get her out, be sexual with her, don't be the friendzoned guy. That's it.

 

[todays_news]

i think you've already left it too long, you should have escalated and asked her out ages ago! So escalate and do it ASAP.

 

[john_trenor]

Sounds like you are getting all of the signals, but you’re still hesitant about approaching her informally. I know it’s difficult talking to coworkers outside of work; it doesn’t have to be so hard. The best way to approach her is to invite her to a social gathering.

The first talk about anything else other than work should be outside of work. Try inviting her for a drink with some friends; you can even go as far as inviting all of your friends to a nice dinner. I know it sounds like a project but there is no way to close a deal at the work place, unless she takes you in to the file cabinet room and jumps on you like a wield cat. good luck and stay well.

 

[Jariel]

The big risk I see here is that the flirting isn't sexual enough and you run the risk of falling into the friendzone.

As someone already said, hugs, kisses on the cheek and similar types of attention could be due to the fact that she's comfortable with you as a friend. I don't believe in rushing these things if it doesn't feel right, but you must escalate!

Start making suggestive jokes about the two of you, hinting that you should have sex and you'll show her a good time. I find this is a good way to distinguish between girls who see you as a friend and those who want more. It's also a good way to show her you're a redblooded male with sexual urges, not just some safe nice guy.

If she sees you as just a friend, then it's doubtful she'll respond to sexual suggestion. If she does, then keep it going. It'll help build the tension between you.

Also, make sure you're neg hitting and teasing her.

 

[betheman]

i think you've already left it too long, you should have escalated and asked her out ages ago! So escalate and do it ASAP.

what he says :rockon:
Id also go for more sexualised talk in the after work times as well, crank it up!

have you considered the consequences if this goes tits up re your work?

big part of me thinks your being used though, keep us updated

 

[Lucifero]

i think you've already left it too long, you should have escalated and asked her out ages ago! So escalate and do it ASAP.

Thats what I tried to tell this faggot but I think he ignored my post. I bet he's seen her again and hasnt said **** about a date or even getting her number...basically the OP is a scared *****.

So guys the OP is a wuss, leave him be. He is never going to ask out this woman because he is a fear driven fag hiding in the closet.

OP, man up and ask her out or leave this forum...because we cant help people who arent willing to help themselves.

 

[slaog]

Its work so you need to be careful.


Find out what she likes doing and if theres something in common with what you like you can ask her to come along and hang out with you. Its not an official date so theres no pressure.


I had some experiances of flirty girls in the work place when I was a teenager. I asked them out and one literally laughed in my face. That was 10 years ago but last weekend she saw me with my girlfriend who is much better looking with a nicer personality too. It should have felt good but I honest couldn't give a sh!t what she thought. lol

 

[bunjy]

When the games start

Accidental post, Sorry guys