she said...."I'll think about it"

[trance_addict]

Yep. Asked this girl to let me take her to dinner (we've been on two pretty decent dates)

She said "Hmm, I'll think about that"

Hmm indeed.

 

[Aaron B]

You should have immediately hit her with a "Nevermind. Stacy has been wanting to get together, so I'll go invite her instead."

You let her knock you off your frame. You can't do that. Be ready for these curves and always have a response ready.

She snoozes, she loses. You are the prize, not her.

 

[Aaron B]

How exactly did you ask? Word for word.

Personally, I reserve dinner for women I have already slept with.

 

[trance_addict]

See, I've been contimplating that very type of response (this conversatoin was via a brief email, something that I avoid using w/ girls most of the time)

I asked a couple of my girl-friends about what they would think of a response like that, and they said "no dont do that"

I always take their advice with a grain of salt however.

 

[Aaron B]

Fashion advice. That's about the only advice to take from a woman.

They have absolutely no clue how their attraction works. They can't help you, but they can damn sure trip you up.

Logically, they are offended by a response like I gave. But because they don't understand and cannot control their attraction, don't listen to them.

I know this works because I have tried it. You have to give her the impression that you are the prize to be won. People want what is rare and scarce. By sending her a clear message that your time is valuable and a DINNER DATE with you is a reward and she is insane to pass it up, you will increase your value in her mind and also increase her interest level in you.

 

[trance_addict]

Makes sense man, your right.

See, the reason why I posted this, lies behind that very mentality. I dont like her having the upper-hand on this, definitly not good.

Besides, when I dropped her off on our last date, she DID say "we'll do something again soon", she'd better be able to hold her own word right?

 

[Aaron B]

No. Forget about "her word." Honor and living up to your word is a masuline standard. Women have no sense of that. They don't live by that. If she decides not to live up to her word, she will conveniently come up with an excuse that will absolve her of all guilt or responsiblity.

One of the biggest mistakes men make is we expect women to think like us and react like we would. They don't. They are completely different from us.

Interest level. Interest level. Interest level. If IL is high, you will be able to get her to do damn near anything you want. As it falls, you get more and more resistance and games from her.

Fact is, you can easily meet another girl just like her or better. But she doesn't meet a guy like you everyday.

You are the prize, now act like it. Her blowing you off is a slap in your face and a waste of your very valuable time. She is lucky you are willing to spend your time with her, and if she is going to be careless with the privelege, next her.

You don't need her. She's a dime a dozen brother.

 

[trance_addict]

Kk.

Thanks for the pep-talk, it was refreshing. I'll email her back, whatever happens after that is her fault right?

Thanks bro.

 

[trance_addict]

"Well nevermind, your not interested obviously. I'll find someone else to take out."

Any thoughts on that response, or what would you suggest?

 

[Aaron B]

Why even email her back? Unless its to let her know that you found someone to go out with, so she doesn't have to worry about agonizing about her decision.

 

[Aaron B]

Leave out the "you aren't interested"

It sounds passive-aggressive and manipulative.

Short and sweet. If you are going to email at all, it needs to be short and sweet.

"Saturday night's off."

Thats it. No how are you, no talk to you later. Three simple words. Put her back on her heels, lets see how she reacts.

 

[trance_addict]

ok,

I sent "I got someone else to go with, nevermind."

 

[jakeyboy]

oh damn. that "nevermind" made it sound as if you were intentionally finding someone else to go with just because of the response she gave you and gave off an air that you were annoyed by her response.. like you HAD to find something/anything to fill up your saturday night. the tone was wrong man. i feel that you should have kept it very light.. or neutral like what aaron b suggested: "saturday night's off" cause it's a bad thing to sound affected by her responses.. even through email it does come across. but never mind, learn your lesson mate. -wink. many girls out there. she clearly doesn't have high IL in you. trust me.

 

[trance_addict]

Hmm.

SHe responded with "I'd love to go out with you anytime, I just dont like letting people pay for me, I never have. I love hanging out with you"

I dont like the sound of that, "hanging out?"

grr

 

[jakeyboy]

maybe she just thinks of you as a friend then. hanging out is a very "friendly" term to use. or she's trying to keep it that way. women who don't let you pay for them usually want to keep the playing field equal then jump ship.

 

[Docs]

maybe she just thinks of you as a friend then. hanging out is a very "friendly" term to use. or she's trying to keep it that way

Haha, exactly why whenever I want to spend time with a girl, it's a date. I don't use the words hang out with a girl, it's want to go on a coffee date, movie date, it's a date, etc.

And technically, it is.

 

[Hitman10000]

Yep. Asked this girl to let me take her to dinner (we've been on two pretty decent dates)

She said "Hmm, I'll think about that"

Hmm indeed.

If she said before your first date then that's okay, but if it's after two dates that's kinda bad dude. Let her think about it and plan your own sh*t.

 

[trance_addict]

Yea, Its definitly LJBF crap, but oh well, sh!t happens, no use getting bent up over it.

I do know that she just got over a breakup like 3-4 weeks ago, so I probably shouldn't have expected anything anyways.

The deceiving part, was that I'm very good at making her laugh, and she did respond to all my kino, so I can see why I missed her true intentions.

In my opinion, the dates were very sucessful and positive, dont' relaly know what gave off the friends vibe, but then again it could just be her situation.

Either way, at least I know her intentions now right?

 

[Hitman10000]

Yea, Its definitly LJBF crap, but oh well, sh!t happens, no use getting bent up over it.

I do know that she just got over a breakup like 3-4 weeks ago, so I probably shouldn't have expected anything anyways.

The deceiving part, was that I'm very good at making her laugh, and she did respond to all my kino, so I can see why I missed her true intentions.

In my opinion, the dates were very sucessful and positive, dont' relaly know what gave off the friends vibe, but then again it could just be her situation.

Either way, at least I know her intentions now right?

Do your own sh*t without her for the time being.

 

[mrRuckus]

Yep. Asked this girl to let me take her to dinner (we've been on two pretty decent dates)

She said "Hmm, I'll think about that"

Hmm indeed.

Let you?

It should be "i'll allow her to be in my presence."

No wonder why she's running