SHE payed first date.

[napoleon]

Yesterday I've gone out with a girl on our first date and SHE payed!!! I tried to pay for all of it, and she said no, so I jokingly said will you pay for me too? And she said OK!!!
Can you explain this gesture. We laughed a lot during coffee, had some strange pauses between conversation, we were in a coffee house. When I said jokingly- Oh god, how I love these embarrasing pauses, she said they are not embarrasing at all.
There wasn't much kino, lot of eye contact and smiling but no kino. We walked arm and arm , and hugged(only kino I got). It was fun but somehow I got the feeling there was a distance between us (we met while dancing so when I was grabbing her and rubbing my hard on on her, there wasn't that distance). She gave me the phone number right away(still on the dance, not on the date), and was eager to meet me although she has exams in a few days.

What's up with that, is she trying do ditch me or does she want me?

 

[Scorched]

Every girl I've had that offered to pay with in the first 3 dates... Normally was losing interest... In her mind? - She didn't want it to be a date or be "with you". Some girls are just weird though, she might just be REALLY nice!

Doesn't sound like you played hard to get...
I think 99% of the time you have to...
Less eye contact on the first date would help as well...

Update us...
Good luck!

 

[AsianPlayboy]

Call her and ****ing find it.

It could be she was SERIOUSLY interested in you and wanted to pay. OR it could be she was not interested and didn't want you to feel used that you paid for the date.

What's your gut saying?

 

[napoleon]

I really dont know. I can analyze ppls character in a second, I'm really talented. With this girl, I feel like she likes me but as I said there is this distance between us. She is somewhat of a shy girl, 21yo,and I wouldn't be suprised if she was still a virgin. I dont know, she may just be shy, or not intrested.
I will call her in a 3 days(were out monday, will call friday), and try to kiss close. If not I'll give her 1 more chance, and if the 3rd date will be the same as 1st I will split.

Well good thing is, I didnt spend any money on her if she's not intrested.

 

[Tomatoes]

Originally posted by napoleon
I really dont know. I can analyze ppls character in a second, I'm really talented. With this girl, I feel like she likes me but as I said there is this distance between us. She is somewhat of a shy girl, 21yo,and I wouldn't be suprised if she was still a virgin. I dont know, she may just be shy, or not intrested.
I will call her in a 3 days(were out monday, will call friday), and try to kiss close. If not I'll give her 1 more chance, and if the 3rd date will be the same as 1st I will split.

Well good thing is, I didnt spend any money on her if she's not intrested.

On the subject of women paying. I have once met a girl and she said "So are you going to buy me a drink? I returned with "I was waiting for you to get me one actually *smiles*" and it worked. Women do make money too you know....they work and they dont mind spending on a bloke.

On the subject of the girl. Seems like she is intrested. Way of knowing that will be if she sees you again. Seems to me she is prob just shy. If you want kino then go in yourself mate.

 

[MightyMate]

If girl pays only for her it means shes a dope one for LTR. On first dates.
If she pays for both of You im not sure what does it mean. In this situation it may mean, she shown You she really like tiem with You and shes even beter for LTR than 1st one, or it may mean she finds You as a friend and wanted to show it. Try dating 2nd time. If she dates, its all good!
I woman wants You to pay for her on 1stdate, it means shes prolly not good for LTR.

 

[napoleon]

I mean when I say she payed I dont mean she payed like a gr8 sum of money. She payed for 2 coffees, about 1.5-2 US$. Not much, I like the gesture but was also confused by it. I thought it would be nice if a girl offered to pay for her half only, not the entire check so she caught me off guard and I didn't know what to think(neither I do now).
Next time a peck on the cheek when we meet, more talk about sex, partners, kiss close(maybe) and we'll see what happens.
What do you thing I went out monday -should I call her thur or fri?

 

[Tomatoes]

Originally posted by napoleon
I mean when I say she payed I dont mean she payed like a gr8 sum of money. She payed for 2 coffees, about 1.5-2 US$. Not much, I like the gesture but was also confused by it. I thought it would be nice if a girl offered to pay for her half only, not the entire check so she caught me off guard and I didn't know what to think(neither I do now).
Next time a peck on the cheek when we meet, more talk about sex, partners, kiss close(maybe) and we'll see what happens.
What do you thing I went out monday -should I call her thur or fri?

You are reading into the paying too much. If she is shy then she may see it as one way to show you affection without her having to make any moves. It was $2!! Thats shrapnel.

I would call her thursday to arrange for friday. Try and get a kino enviroment but dont push it. Talk about sex. What turns her on. Go for a kiss close.

 

[napoleon]

Ok thanks

PS: Fuking cold weater, I cant do any fun action dates, maybe build a snowman

 

[Scorched]

2 dollars? yeah that don't mean ****...

Still I would play a little hard to get...
But I'm a nut, I'll figure out when a girl is in heat and then schedule the date around that... Hey it works

 

[napoleon]

One more thing I forgot to mention.
She used to giggle when I looked at her/made intense eye contact.
I take that as a sign of interest.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

She's interested in you... thing is you don't have to worry Remember, you're your own man, and youshould have more plates spinning. Perseverence is a virtue, as is determination, but begging, and kissing ass are sins

Every girl that has ever bought me a meal, paid for the movies, got me plastered after a week of hard work... Was doing it in the hopes that I return the favor

She's not WAITING for you to ask her out though, so don't look for any hints. She is HOPING though, so what should you do?

Tease her a little bit, as in PULL on her strings, and than push, than pull, and push. I don't know how receptive she is to you yet... no LR, FR, KR, from you on her yet

 

[napoleon]

What is LR ,FR ,KR?

I thought snice the date was on monday to call her on friday- to get her more intrested?

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Lat report(sex), Field report(out in the field), Kiss report(usually from somebody you want to kiss).

Well for one, read the bible, do a search on dates, from the forum in tips and in the archive. You don't have to worry about what DAY you call her, or HOW MANY days... it's just a measure of NOT seeming too anxious.

I'cew known girls to reject guys because the guy made them wait TOO long

If she's the only girl on your list, leave a message on her machine, or with her friends, or tell her in person, what's going down, on whatever day isbest for YOU!

If you're good for tonight, screw it, you should be doing more things.

Tomorrow night is fine, Wednesday night usually has a few lively restaurants, dance clubvs are usually packed too. Many businesses time their employee payments around bank schedules. So the Wednesdays, and first day(or last) day of the month are generally good nights to go out. There are different people out on Wednesdays(happy and excited about being payed, many AFC's and the girls who like to be around them) than on the weekends(regular partiers vs only regulars on normal days of the week).

Pick a day that is special, but don't react like it's special...

Cheers!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Ethnomethodologist: Dood hate to be blunt but your advice suxs!! I've read a number of your posts and its seems like your pretty clueless as to what's going on, or you just like telling the posters what they want to hear. Again, not trying to start a flame war, but just being honest.


When a girl refuses to let you pay for a date its because she's NOT INTERESTED!! Now in this situation it might be a little too early to tell since it was just a quick coffee get together. Don't focus so much on the amount of money (it was only 2 bucks) as much as the gesture itself. It also depends how much you pushed to try to pay. Were insisting or did you just say you'd pay once?

The other thing is don't focus so much on kiss closing etc. First dates are interviews, both people are trying to figure out if they're truely interested in getting to know the other person better or not. Now if you guys go out a few more times and no progession is made on the physical front and she still refuses to let you pay then you should get the clue.

Also, its much better to go out during the week then on a Friday or Saturday night in the beginning of the dating journey



PIMP

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Originally posted by Pimp-sicle
Ethnomethodologist: Dood hate to be blunt but your advice suxs!! I've read a number of your posts and its seems like your pretty clueless as to what's going on, or you just like telling the posters what they want to hear. Again, not trying to start a flame war, but just being honest.

Thanks again Pimp
My skills have gone downhill in the last two weeks I've had a rough time adapting to a few "problems" in my life.
Enthomethods aren't working as effectively as they used to, they're morphing more into things I should know in my discussions with these people...

I am being really nice, I've been warned I think I have to open up more in different online venues, the way I write is really irking me. This site especially has a major AFC haze surrounding it these days. There are still lurking DJ's and Pimp's but the overall mood of the posters has become one of fear... I have experience with fear, so I am not telling them what they want to hear, I am telling them in a way that won't scare them...

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
Thanks again Pimp
My skills have gone downhill in the last two weeks I've had a rough time adapting to a few "problems" in my life.
Enthomethods aren't working as effectively as they used to, they're morphing more into things I should know in my discussions with these people...

I am being really nice, I've been warned I think I have to open up more in different online venues, the way I write is really irking me. This site especially has a major AFC haze surrounding it these days. There are still lurking DJ's and Pimp's but the overall mood of the posters has become one of fear... I have experience with fear, so I am not telling them what they want to hear, I am telling them in a way that won't scare them...

Either way it seems like your posts still give the guy false hope. You can imagine this AFC clinging to this thread, checking it several times a day for replies and one reply that says "your in" and he'll feel better. Then he'll read one that says he's fukin' it up and he's on that rollercoaster again.

This board is filled with AFC's but I think the best way to advise them is to be straight and to the point. If you sugar coat your answers, they'll end up wasting more time on a situation that they already messed up.

Its funny but usually whatever we go through in life, tends to be reflective of our mood at the moment. Get through your hard times and you'll be ok.



PIMP

 

[ethnomethodologist]

LOL, you'd be amazed in my abilities.

There are so many "DJ" qualities that people adore, but they really are just badboy qualities. In 'badboy' qualities, I don't mean the basic badboy of yore. I mean serious BAD qualities, the things the girls complain about.

"The truth" is what I am trying to get at. there is such thing as NOT lying. The biggest part is knowing when you lie to yourself.

The recurring theme I have seen in EVERY Afc I have ever met, is dishonesty. Deliberate dishonesty is creating a gap for people to see "the real you", the thing women look for, the ONE thing that you do for them, that you do for nobody else.

AFC's are different though, people call them honest. The fact that people refer to them that way, inflates their egos, and they keep on with the same charade, but nobody ever really notices. They are just too 'nice', the thing is though, that 'nice' is just an illusion.

You'd be surprised at the things that an AFC have disgusted me with. Literally, I held myself back from hitting them.

What are the two biggest contradicting factors for an AFC? Lies, and bravery. Most AFC's get caught in a lie, even rAFC's get caught. They come off as being PUA at first, but the girl digs a little deeper, and they find nothing, they only have a worthless pile of dirt. I call it pirate booty, marked with an X, but keep on digging, and you've only been fooled.

An AFC says he is brave, to appear the larger man, than he steps back into his mind, and sees problems, he knows he isn;t that brave, he's only dreamed of the moment. "I can only dream of that" than going off into stories of future glory... that is NOT the DJ way, the DJ has stories to back up his claims.

I can't describe it. I should have shut up 6 semi paragraphs ago. I want to be able to though, so I speak my mind, I don't go back and edit my posts, though I should, for any reason. I let my thoughts flow, I come up with ideas on the fly...

Tonight was extreme innuendo, everything, from playing a game of pool, to watching people dance. There is no end to the sexual innuendo, even the quiet girls are in the group...

Some day, I'll conform, I'll start to react and think like the rest. Until then, I'm content being the stupid ass that asks to be taught a lesson. Only thing is, nobody is man enough to look at me face to face and be compassionate at the same time. Every natural I have EVER met, turns out to be on one extreme or the other.

 

[napoleon]

We talked, she seemed fine. I told her to go out again, and she replied- "I'll call you when I get some time off,hope it will be soon, bye"

Now I know she's busy cause it's exam time but if she doesn't call me I'll next her.

OK?

 

[napoleon]

OK , 5 days passed and she didnt call.

NEXT!!!

Dont matter, I'm going out with some other girl in 4 days time