She keeps her orbiters informed

[ThisNThat]

There's this one woman, 33 years old, obviously up there in years. Prime of her life, single, never married, no children. I met her at a convention and of course, she's a cosplayer. So I had come to know her through her circles. Geek culture is big these days.

She tends to post quite a few Facbook Live videos of her out with her friends, most of them are men (orbiters?) I think a couple of them are gay, and one I had also met in person...thats kind of the shy, quiet type...so he kind of lingers.

The latter guy, I tried striking up a conversation with him, he's very non-engaging. Like he's too shy to say anything. So it's like he's just okay with just being around her in a group.

She'll even make an announcement on her page, "I'm going to be at so-and-so today, who's joining me!!" And they'll all just show up spontaneously, but it's usually always men.

One day on Facebook, she announces how hard it is to meet a decent guy these days. And I commented on, "Well, you have a lot of dudes that you hang with on those FB live feeds, any headway there? lol"

And she said, "They are just great friends, and I appreciate having them in my life."

I didn't continue beyond that, but I did want to ask....on a serious side, I have heard of relationships forming between a man and a woman, organically in this fashion. Or is it one of those, "Don't piss where you eat" situations? Stay away from dating those in your social circle?

 

[lizardking82]

People you work with and friends of friends...either stay away from the completely or play it so well. Most people don't know how to play it so well. This is a complicated matter, really.

Right now, I know of a curly, beautiful, nice body girl that is 25 years old, has been single for about a year. I work with her, she brings me photography jobs of different kinds and she also works for this woman at a company where I am not under contract, but get jobs from it as well here and there. She has been flirting with me hard. We go out with her and her best friend, have drinks, have great laughs. She likes to play a lot, but here's the thing: I can go for this girl quite easily, she has given a lot of positive signals, but it would probably mess everything up and I would lose, in the end, a good source of my jobs and consequently, income. I am playing the game with her and she cannot play it better than me. She likes my company, maybe she wants something more, but the only case where I will act on that is when and if it becomes so obvious it cannot go any further. In any other case, I am keeping it playful and keep those jobs coming.

Most guys cannot do this, I think. They will go for the girl and what happens is that she either refuses you and the communication is at least weird and in a lot of cases, messed up OR she accepts, you bang and then she wants to be your girl but you don't want that and then the communication is ****ed up anyways. Unless you know how to control social situations masterfully, stay away from dating colleagues and friends of friends.

 

[ThisNThat]

People you work with and friends of friends...either stay away from the completely or play it so well. Most people don't know how to play it so well. This is a complicated matter, really.

Right now, I know of a curly, beautiful, nice body girl that is 25 years old, has been single for about a year. I work with her, she brings me photography jobs of different kinds and she also works for this woman at a company where I am not under contract, but get jobs from it as well here and there. She has been flirting with me hard. We go out with her and her best friend, have drinks, have great laughs. She likes to play a lot, but here's the thing: I can go for this girl quite easily, she has given a lot of positive signals, but it would probably mess everything up and I would lose, in the end, a good source of my jobs and consequently, income. I am playing the game with her and she cannot play it better than me. She likes my company, maybe she wants something more, but the only case where I will act on that is when and if it becomes so obvious it cannot go any further. In any other case, I am keeping it playful and keep those jobs coming.

Most guys cannot do this, I think. They will go for the girl and what happens is that she either refuses you and the communication is at least weird and in a lot of cases, messed up OR she accepts, you bang and then she wants to be your girl but you don't want that and then the communication is ****ed up anyways. Unless you know how to control social situations masterfully, stay away from dating colleagues and friends of friends.

I get what you mean, but that's work related, professional, in order to keep the lights on. These guys are all associated with her on a completely informal level. They just hang out in groups at a theme park or festival or something. So nothing really to lose there.

 

[lizardking82]

I get what you mean, but that's work related, professional, in order to keep the lights on. These guys are all associated with her on a completely informal level. They just hang out in groups at a theme park or festival or something. So nothing really to lose there.

Well, I gave you the bigger picture so you can understand both the big and the small picture

 

[Dingo]

"I'm going to be at so-and-so today, who's joining me!!"

Screw that... Attention *****...

 

[resilient]

She tends to post quite a few Facbook Live videos of her out with her friends, most of them are men (orbiters?) I think a couple of them are gay, and one I had also met in person...thats kind of the shy, quiet type...so he kind of lingers.

She likes the attention, views, and comments she gets from those videos. Many guys in that geek culture are shy, introverted, sit at home watching too much anime, too much Netflix, playing video games and don't get much sunshine. So they sit at home on the couch and stream endless garbage.

So it's like he's just okay with just being around her in a group.

He feels validated enough by just being able to be in her presence.

She'll even make an announcement on her page, "I'm going to be at so-and-so today, who's joining me!!"

She likes an entourage / fan club of orbiters.

And she said, "They are just great friends, and I appreciate having them in my life."

W0manese translation = I love infinite male attention.

I have heard of relationships forming between a man and a woman, organically in this fashion.

It works briefly until she gets bored, the guy goes completely beta, and she looks for the next new challenge fix.

Or is it one of those, "Don't piss where you eat" situations? Stay away from dating those in your social circle?

Generally, yes. Depending on the group size and meeting frequency, it can be akward for those mutually involved, especially if someone moves on quickly to another person in the same social circle.