She keeps asking to hang out, but keeps changing the day

[Deadly_Ripped]

I'm in college, and a biology major/ resident's assistant/former high school peer has been regularly suggesting that she and I hang out.

She's picked a date 3 times now, and tonight we're supposed to chill at my place and get wasted. I suspect that since she said she'd call to let me know for sure that she wouldn't have duty yesterday and she didn't call that she might try to blow me off tonight.

Here's where I'm lost:
She's not the type of person who gets kicks from ****ing with peoples' heads, and we used to be friends, but she keeps bringing up times and canceling. So even if these obligations are legitimate, how is the best way to show her that I value my own time and shouldn't be blown off and yet I do want to hang out.

In other words, I don't want to be like screw off if you're too busy, but I set time aside for her and she doesn't even have the courteosy to call when she says she will to solidify everything.

Any suggestions?

 

[reyalp]

If she doesn't show up, call another girl over. Simple as that.

And I've told women that I would call another girl over. I had a chick flake on me, we were supposed to meet up at my buddy's restaurant. She called me up and cancelled 30mins before we were sposed to be there. So I ate at the bar there, had some beers and BSed with the regulars.
We scheduled a time for next week, she did the same thing next week.

Then she calls me up a couple of days later and wants to hang out. So I laid down the law.
"Sure, but we're just going to watch movies at my house. If you don't show up, I'm just going to pick up the phone and call somebody else over, and I will have just as much fun with somebody else. However, I'd really rather spend that time with you, so how about you just show up this time?"

and she showed up, early, with movies, and she was seeking my approval all night.

there's no excuse for cancelling and you shouldn't tolerate it.

 

[rascal]

this girl isnt ****ing with your head, girls are naturally flaky. you need to put your foot down. Tell her you are not interested in flaky people and that she has already screwed her chances with you, and that she has to make it up.

either

a) she'll call you say sorry and never flake on you again

or

b) you guys never go out

either way, don't worry about it

 

[godjwood]

or shell call say sorry, get you interested again, then as soon as she has your attention again shell immediately go back to flaking

 

[eps]

I say bring another girl (or ten) over instead

 

[Scream]

sounds good, going through similar situation. **** her.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

I ended up just assuming that she'd blow me off and I was hanging out with friends in my home town until she called.


She never called so I ended up partying with some new people that I met that night. It worked out pretty well actually.

I'm definitely going to tell her monday that I'm not going to make any plans with her. If she wants to hang out she can call and if I'm not busy then we can hang out, otherwise I'm not going to keep making time for her and then having her do that. My time is worth more than that, and if she can't make a phone call to tell me that she's not coming over, then I can't make time for her.

 

[tosh]

Just had the same thing. a girl feed me two last-minute cancellations. I just told her that:

a) I don't like games

b) If she wants to meet, SHE can call me and propose a date/time/place.

Will see what happens. Don't care either way.

 

[Bobbles]

Someone said that all girls are flaky. This is not true. SOME girls are flaky, and as much as she may or may not want to see you she as a flake. She is a flake with probably everyone and will probably be a flake for ever.

I wouldn't bother with her. She will drive you nuts for ever. After all, ask youself, would you want to be late for the theatre for the rest of your life.

 

[Le Parisien]

Flaky by nature or not, they won't flake at all if they are real interested.

We guys are pretty much the same.

Back in the time there was a girl who was interested in me, I thought she's cute (not hot) but she had TOO much emotional baggage, so I was lukeworn.
One weekday night she called me to go get a few drinks at the bar (I saw what she was getting at hehe..), I genuinely had homeworks to finish. So I toldher to reschedule for the weekend.
The saturday came and she called again, I was packing my stuff because I and some other friends are preparing to go on a one week trip to Florida, and we were leaving early on sunday. It was something we just decided during the week after she called me on tuesday.
So I politely declined again saying another time, AFTER the one week trip.
And she never called me again. She must have thought that I'm a flaky bastar* who messes with people's head.

I'm NOT, I genuinely had stuff to do.

BUT if I was REALLY interested I would have made time for her on tuesday, and finishing my work afterwards; or maybe going out with her on saturday and leaving with my friends sunday morning without any sleep and sleep in the car afterwards. But I didn't, because I wasn't THAT interested.


My point is that, guys or girls, people don't flake when they are genuinely very interested. They will make time.

 

[tosh]

spot on le parisien. spot on.