She flipped a 180

[phil2015]

Hey guys

Bit of an odd situation but my GF has accused me of being 'angry' and has gone so far as to buy an e book for 'Angry and Controlling men'. This is after an argument yesterday where she compared me to her ex, and said I dont care about her at all

This strikes me as odd, because despite the fact I'm not trying to control her, it is my emotional strength, dominance and passive nature which initially attracted her to me.

On top of this she wants to move in too!

From my perspective I do feel there is some form of feminized manipulation coming from her;

- She gets extremely jealous around other women, even ones on tv!
- She gets upset if I take my phone out of the room
- She talks about exes lots
- Paranoid about her weight
- Goes cold and distant if I don't text back quick enough
- Strops/Goes mean and cold if she does not get her own way
- Requires constant validation of her looks and worth to me

Any ideas what this change in mindset or advice for me?

Really confused!

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Advice? NEXT

Seriously dude, you don't need that shiz. It will only get worse.

-Augustus-

 

[phil2015]

LARaiders85 - Loving your answer in self projection

Do you think her actions represent her subconscious?

 

[Paul_FR]

Sorry but you need to NEXT her.

You cannot by any means accept to move in with a girl with such an attitude. You'll never be able to breathe!

Also, she's making you feel as if she is the only victim by making you think that you have an anger issue...

Well as by my experience, if ever you decide to move in with her, after a couple of years, you'd have accepted to be controlled by her and one day you'll just explode or go into depression...

Unfortunately, you cannot change a girl once you are in the FTR....

Take my advice and take another path.

 

[Billtx49]

Do not let her move in. No room for that kind of baggage at your place…Continue to see her if you want, but only with a mindset of seeing if she improves. If she doesn't, Next her.

 

[sazc]

WOW! Please move on! NEXT!
It really frustrates me that you guys allow yourself to be emotionally abused.

To Be fair, let's assume that you are angry and controlling, and let's assume that she is everything you said she is. She is essentially thinking that if she can change you, that will change the entire relationship, including her responses to you. She's telling you 'it's all your fault, change and we will be happy.

It doesn't work that way, you both are who you are, people don't change. You both need to find someone that you feel satisfied with, instead of trying to change the other person to fit what you want.

Now, raise your standards, don't accept the bullsh1t, and find someone who satisfies what you need in a female. Find someone that you organically get along with. Do Not accept less.

 

[sazc]

Absolutely yes. She also may be conscious of her own hypocrisy as well, which causes frustration and a need to assuage guilt.

I thought self projection as well, when I was initially reading. She's probably not aware. Very few people stop to assess themselves, in these types of terms.

 

[logicallefty]

Unfortunately everyone else here is right. You have got to end this if you care at all about your mental health. I would say downgrade her to a plate but if you are already in a relationship then it's probably too late to do that at this point. Years ago I put up with some behavior like this back when I was young and naive and I had myself convinced that it was 'just what I had to do'. Your comment about the women on TV caught my attention in particular. I had an ex once that used to make me take an alternate route whenever we were driving past a Hooters or a Strip Club, just driving past on the road in a car. Why? For fear that I might see some b( . )( . )bies through the window. I am not even kidding. I wish I was. I look back at all of the mental energy and time I wasted with women like this and it just makes me sick. Run Forest run...

 

[sazc]

Unfortunately everyone else here is right. You have got to end this if you care at all about your mental health. I would say downgrade her to a plate but if you are already in a relationship then it's probably too late to do that at this point. Years ago I put up with some behavior like this back when I was young and naive and I had myself convinced that it was 'just what I had to do'. Your comment about the women on TV caught my attention in particular. I had an ex once that used to make me take an alternate route whenever we were driving past a Hooters or a Strip Club, just driving past on the road in a car. Why? For fear that I might see some b( . )( . )bies through the window. I am not even kidding. I wish I was. I look back at all of the mental energy and time I wasted with women like this and it just makes me sick. Run Forest run...

My current LTR was in a relationship for 4 years with the same kind of woman and then he married her. He works setting up customer service farms for companies so he was always interacting with multiple people (males and females) and she made his life HELL about it. She threatened divorce over and over again, and finally packed up when she heard a female trainee in the background of a phone call between he and her. Her trash was my treasure. He's a great guy. He just needed to find the right female for him. I'm incredibly thankful for him.

It's truly amazing what men put up with. I listen to you guys here and I wonder if you realize you ARE being emotionally abused by these women because they're not right in the head. There are better women out there. I know (I agree) being single and starting again sucks,I was there for awhile, but being alone and drama free is so much better than some bpd or dysfunctional chick making your life hell. Raise your standards. Relationships shold be drama free and no one should be requiring anyone to 'change' (cept maybe underwear, socks, etc)

 

[exhausted]

She wants to move in and is not getting her way so her behavior will just worsen and become more emotional and unstable as she mistreats you for it.
I just put up with a similar situation. my gf at the time wanted to move in, i told her ok, i take you out to dinner all the time and pay for this and that , you have stayed in the past a few days a week, get back to staying a couple days a week and if you begin to cook ( only cooked for me one time this last year---****TY as i took her out to eat 50x) take care of the house with me and make it a peaceful home, then continue to stay and stay and not leave.
long story short she never did begin any of that **** but just complained and freaked out.
causing problems over everthing...
get out now!