she flaked on first date - regroup or cut losses?

[unsatisfied]

so i have been macking on this girl the last 2 weeks - first met her out in person when clubbing, got her number have been exchanging flirty texts vibe etc.

so earlier in the week i tell her to keep her sunday free, she gets all excited and goes omg omg blah blah blah. she texts me on saturday afternoon confirming what time we are going to meet up tomorrow what she should wear etc etc.

so you can imagine im feeling pretty confident, hopes are sky high at this point. i have an early night on saturday so i am on my game for sunday.

i wake up to a text she sent at 9 in the morning, omg hun so sorry can't do today etc etc got too drunk last nite am sick so soz about making a bad impression etc etc.

so presumably she went out last nite with some other guy and got railed six ways from sunday, no skin off my nose i guess. thats her perogative. i was uber disapointed about my sunday being obliterated, but kept it to myself and just responded verbatim "hey hope u get well soon"

my question is, now do I regroup give it a second go with and chance her flaking again, or do i cut my losses, next her now due to her lousy behaviour.

 

[badboyjmm]

You have to apply the 2 strike rule. She flaked once, so you give her the benefit of the doubt and try for another meeting. If she flakes again, without a counter-offer NEXT

 

[runner83]

2 strikes rule as noted.

Just out of interest, were you gunna meet her during the day or at night.

Because I hope you know that meeting chicks during the day is a waste of fvckin' time.

Always meet up at night in the early stages.

 

[sd.boi69]

if i was that i would have told her to tell you ahead of time if theres a chance that shell be not gonna make it..for once, when i encountered a situation like this, i got mad and told her there would be another chance.. guess what she said, she apologized and promised to make it up to me.. she then asked me to go out with her one time and she paid all the bills. then bam

 

[unsatisfied]

so i decided to pursue her for a second shot (mistake). straight up trying to get her to reply was like pulling teeth, which should have been the alarm bell.

in any event, the best i could get out with her was arranging on a sunday to meet monday for lunch (mistake). late sunday nite she asks pretty please if she can move it to tuesday. i say sure (mistake)

tuesday comes along i say hey ill come get you at 12:00. she txts back hey yeah can't wait to see you but can you do 12:30 work is busy. im in the car on my way there (mistake) and i get a txt mid journey "hey i can only be out for an hour ok?". by this point im like whatever, and i realise its a lost cause anyway.

but what really knocked me on my ass, i get there at 12:24 and txt her, hey am here. she calls me and says yeah, sorry i can't go now.

let that sink in. im standing in front of my car, outside her work. she is calling me from inside her office. friendly and apologetic the whole call and that she will make it up to me. did not come out at all. probably had her friends at the laughing at window or something.

my brain just about vortexed on itself. I had been completely outclassed. i had never understood how it felt to feel foolish before. but lesson learned.

that was my day today.

 

[Rikudo]

Bro you need to move on to the next one she is playing with you.Ignore her if she calls and trys to settel another date aprove then drop her of before she drops you agian.

 

[Jay Dee]

Next her and move on.
If she sends any messages or calls or cross paths, be polite but no prolonged conversations.
No flirting either.
Only thing you can allow is a concrete meet at a given time and place, if she offers.
Get out there and find some other chicks.
Pronto.

 

[Rikudo]

This types of girls are men hunters they get numbers as trophies they have you as a joker whene they have free time they use you for a free dinner free ride and so on you got to fight fire with fire so try to flake her .

 

[Htienvu]

Sorry to hear that, oh well, lesson learnt. Reading your experience also taught me to be more vigilant with flakers so thank you for sharing. Don't feel foolish, she missed out on a great guy mate, her lost. Keep spinning plates

 

[woopwoop]

women flake sometimes when you first meet them don't take this personaly. She has a life that allof a sudden you've come into and you have to ease your way into it. The problem is you made yourself two readily available. Ganji games can possibly fix this but you have to be patient and focus on yourself for them to work plus accept the fact it might not happen and get over her.

 

[mahoney]

You have made mistakes here but not necessarily the ones you think you have

The timings of these dates were not great

i) Sunday daytime - of course there is a risk of being hungover

ii) a date on a lunch break? what? you are asking for that to happen

Girl may well be a flake, but problem is you helped her flake. I've flaked a Sunday date because hungover and the chances of me making a lunchtime date aren't great either. You went a bit short notice on this too which didn't help

agree with the 2 strike rule in general, but I could easily have flaked both these dates myself, thinking I could probably make them before realising no. Think a bit better about timings

Problem now is ball is entirely in her court. If she sets up a 3rd then all is fine in my view. Onus is on yet to do so. If she doesn't then I think you're pretty much done.

 

[vatoloco]

...probably had her friends at the laughing at window or something.

Embed this feeling into your soul and remember it each time you want to give a flaker "a second chance."

Problem now is ball is entirely in her court. If she sets up a 3rd then all is fine in my view. Onus is on yet to do so. If she doesn't then I think you're pretty much done.

Dude, wtf!? You would consider taking more shit from this girl via a 3rd outing!? Man, you must love being kicked in the teeth!

 

[mahoney]

Well that is mainly because in this particular case I identify with her more than him. and would be more likely to have flaked on these lunchtime and Sunday dates than to have set them up in first place. ive flaked on sunday stuff before and no doubt will again - and as for lunchtime on a workday? just no

The lesson to be learned here, however, is for future girls. Set up dates at better times, not on a lunch break or a Sunday daytime

 

[Cowboy1015]

Maybe you can try one more time. But if a girl does not reschedule a date... It means she's not that interested. So just move on. But don't burn bridges.

 

[Lexington]

Generally, when a girl flakes on a first date, it's not a good sign and you should already have your guard up. If a girl is genuinely interested, there isn't a whole lot that make her miss the first date. Sometimes, there are circumstances beyond her control that come up, but most of the times it's B.S.

Oh well, lesson learned for you.

Recently, I had a girl pull similar B.S. The first time she flaked on me because she was "sick." I thought whatever and forgot about her. But she texted me later asking if we were going to meet up again. Seeing as she took the initiative, I thought OK.

Sure enough, she flaked again, right before it was time to go on the date. At that point I deleted her number. The funny thing is that she contacted me later again and this time promised that she wouldn't flake. So we setup a time and place...a nice expensive restaurant.

THAT got her to show up. She texted me when she got there. I was half way across the country. Needless to say, that was the last I heard from her.