She flaked on date #3, drop her?

[spiegel549]

I am getting a lot of different answers with approaches that clash with each other. I would like a final game plan on this..I want to get the plan down and go for it, please help.

**Quick Story**
First date went awesome, lots of physical contact, great time.

Second date went even better, further physical contact (hand holding, touching her face, hand on her ass etc.)

I F***** up because I had her on my couch for a movie at the end of date #2 and while plenty of touching was going on I just read the signs wrong that she was uncomfortable so I didn't push for the kiss. At the end I went for the lips and got the cheek. she said "I had a lot of fun and to call her wednesday to get together for thursday."

Few days went by...

I called today and confidently asked her on date#3 and told her the plans and she said "she doesn't think she can...she has to go out with one of her dads friends." shared a few quick laughs and I said no problem maybe another time, gotta run but I'll talk to you later.

I know I screwed up by not kissing her but would that really drop her interest that quickly??? Should I wait until say saturday and try 1 last final time? Or too desperate and just go GHOST to the max?

**Note** I will be bumping into her sunday at a baseball game either way...

 

[GotED?]

Did you have NC in between the dates or did you SMS/call her?

I think there is more to the story here to cause her to move backwards as it appears to me. A woman who has high interest will always move mountains to be with you. Even if she is already busy, she should counter your offer with another time (which she didn't).

There is also the possibility that since she was AT YOUR FLAT (already established her motives indirectly of making herself vulnerable to sexual advances), ON YOUR COUCH (next step up), and you stopped just because she lip blocked you as a test, you failed to go all the way. She may be disappointed. Tough place to be, without actually being there, it is hard to tell if she was just putting up anti-SLUT (some resistance but don't want to apears sluttish) defence and you failed to get past it.

Good luck.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[sighsigh]

At this point, there could be any number of reasons why she turned down your offer. Don't jump to conclusions.

Since you will see her Sunday anyways, I would go NC from now and see what happens.

 

[Fatal Jay]

I would drop her, I been on dates with a lot of chicks,once they flake or dont answer calls or text its going to get downhill from there

chicks who dig you will answer every call and text I promise

 

[Purefilth]

Its not really a flake though, she's just busy.
If she turns down the next offer, then I would just walk, but yeah, as others said - leave it till sunday till you talk to her again

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Flaking = you set up a date that she said "yes" to but didn't show up. This is not a flake.

However, it could be a lie. The fact that she said "I don't think I can" (assuming those were her exact words) before the excuse means she was having to think of an excuse in that moment. Plus, it sounds weird that she'd just HAVE to hang out with one of her Dad's friends. And, of course, she gave you no counter-offer.

With all that said, always go by the rule of two: you ask once and she says no, wait a few days then counter-offer. If she says "no" or give any other kind of excuse as to why she can't go (since women rarely say "no" directly), then she's not interested.

In the meantime... if you're already going to see her on Sunday, don't try setting anything up until after that day. Then, when you see her at the game, you can ask her IN PERSON if she'd like to meet up that later that week (sometime after Tuesday, not the very next day). That way, you can both hear AND see her reaction to your question and get a better idea of where her interest lies.

If you REALLY want to test it out, ask for a date on Thursday - that's FOUR days from Sunday when she shouldn't have anything planned to do yet. Any excuse she gives you short of "Oh, i'm going out of town starting on Thursday" means she's not interested. Hope this helps!

 

[TheWolfMan]

I play by the whole no counteroffer = not interested rule so I would have just left it at that and let her call me if she wanted to. I do however agree that you do not contact her via phone, and wait until sunday to gauge her reaction. Set something up there, if she declines or gives you an excuse without countering then she's not into you. Next her, spin other plates.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I play by the whole no counteroffer = not interested rule so I would have just left it at that and let her call me if she wanted to.

I actually go by the same rule - if you ask 'em out and they give an excuse, trying to ask them for another day is like pulling teeth. You might say "okay then, how about Monday" and you can hear them on the other end of the phone like "eeeeehhhh, uhhhhhhh, wellllllllll...." Never a good sign.

 

[Renegade357]

You don't make a date on a date until around date 6-8 and even that's pushing it. You gotta keep her wondering and if you tell her you're gonna see her Wednesday while you're already on a date with her she'll lose interest points in you. This could be a s&&&&t test so just back off for 4-5 days then call her. You need to maintain control man.

 

[spiegel549]

Men, seriously THANK YOU for taking the time to write me your guidance. Greatly Appreciated.

This could be a s&&&&t test so just back off for 4-5 days then call her. You need to maintain control man.

Could you explain a little better for me please?

I understand from this experience just how important keeping certain rules are, they can really raise/drop a woman's interest level dramatically and thats...

1.) Going NC-GHOST in between dates. Showing her you are busy, and have other plates spinning, remaining mysterious, keeping her guessing.

2.) Not setting up the next date while on a date. I understand leaving her in the dark, keeping her guessing "Is he going to call me again? When is he going to call!?"

Can anyone add a better description to those 2 on why they are so important please?


**I will remain NC-GHOST until sunday, if I see her I will set up something for late next week, giving her plenty of time to be available. If I don't see her I will simply call and make plans. If she makes an excuse, NEXT!**

 

[thevilittletroll]

i have a feeling you missed your window of opportunity. there was attraction there but when you didnt make your move she then saw you as afc and not alpha. the more you chase her now the more distant she will become. the only way i know to get her attraction levels back up is for her to see you getting attention from other girls hotter then her. i would text her telling her you cant wait to see her at the game, then dont go. go no contact for about a week, the just give her hints about something better that came along and you are really tired, input sexual innuendos, but never give details. then show her other hot girls that are attracted to you.

so word to the wise, quit giving girls blue balls and make your move.

 

[Renegade357]

Could you explain a little better for me please?

I understand from this experience just how important keeping certain rules are, they can really raise/drop a woman's interest level dramatically and thats...

It's life or death man trust me. One mistake can cost you the game. You're dealing with a creature that needs to do little more than spread it's legs to mate.

1.) Going NC-GHOST in between dates. Showing her you are busy, and have other plates spinning, remaining mysterious, keeping her guessing.

It's called being a challenge. You gotta spoon feed her. If you like the girl your goal is to outlast her and make it to around 60 days or when she asks you to be exclusive. If you make it that far your chances of making it 6 months to 1 year are about 80%.

2.) Not setting up the next date while on a date. I understand leaving her in the dark, keeping her guessing "Is he going to call me again? When is he going to call!?"

Again, challenge. You want to be unpredictable and not have a pattern. Simply waiting 5-9 days to call her after a first date to ask her out again will do that.

**I will remain NC-GHOST until sunday, if I see her I will set up something for late next week, giving her plenty of time to be available. If I don't see her I will simply call and make plans. If she makes an excuse, NEXT!**

What do you mean "If I see her I will set something for late next week"? Be a man Hogan. Call her straight up. Grow a pair.

First no more texting from this point on unless you're just politely responding to her texts 15-30 minutes later with 1 line max. Don't listen to the playa playas on here who think texting is a good idea. It's death.

You have to put some thought into this man. Set the date up for Wednesday or Thursday. Come up with something creative but not overboard/too try hard. For example my last 3rd date with a chick was a jazz night event at a local museum then we had a drink at a nearby bar. I took her back to my place and made out with her after. Of course I kissed her on the 2nd date so that went a little more smoothly. The whole date went pretty well. Look for clues of her being into you during the date and don't touch her no matter how hard you want to until the end. At that point kiss her after you drop her off then go home. If you do it right it'll drive her crazy for more.

If she says she's busy just remain silent and wait for her to counter offer. If she doesn't counter-offer or doesn't answer the phone/call you back it's over period. Move on.

 

[Renegade357]

i have a feeling you missed your window of opportunity.

Agreed but it'll be a good practice for him to call her up and actually try to ask her out and do things the right way. You never know, she may be bored that night.

 

[headFirst]

Maybe you were too predictable.. She told you to call her wed and you did.. so that's like her saying jump.. and you say how high?

I would try again.. give a few days.. then initiate a few texts here and there. Feel the vibe of the convo.. if she seems distant and aloof i'd walk away then.. if she still seems interested ask her again but you make the plans.. if she says for you to call on a specific day to set up another date again.. make sure you tell her I'm gonna have a busy week so we will see.. send a few texts in between to keep you on her mind.. but don't call on the day she requested. call her the next.. say you got busy and then arrange a hang out then. That way you run the show sometimes.. and it's not her calling the shots.

 

[Renegade357]

I would try again.. give a few days.. then initiate a few texts here and there. Feel the vibe of the convo.. if she seems distant and aloof i'd walk away then.. if she still seems interested ask her again but you make the plans.. if she says for you to call on a specific day to set up another date again.. make sure you tell her I'm gonna have a busy week so we will see.. send a few texts in between to keep you on her mind.. but don't call on the day she requested. call her the next.. say you got busy and then arrange a hang out then. That way you run the show sometimes.. and it's not her calling the shots.

I promise you if he tries to friend his way in through playful texts she'll get a stomach ache. Big time AFC move. He needs to call and ask her out directly. Get the "NO" out of her asap.

 

[spiegel549]

I promise you if he tries to friend his way in through playful texts she'll get a stomach ache. Big time AFC move. He needs to call and ask her out directly. Get the "NO" out of her asap.

I appreciate all the guidance. Renegade357 Straight up I see the error of my ways. I am going to roll with your advice. Learn from my mistakes, and NEVER ****ing repeat them ever again lol..I do not want to push it and say I AM DESPERATE. F*** that.

Since I will most likely bump into her Sunday (depending if she is at the game or not) I am keeping ZERO contact until then, staying as a damn GHOST. (unless she calls me/texts me) which 99% won't happen.

When I see her Sunday how should I act towards? Normal? Kiss on the cheek hello? Now if she asks ME to go do something as we are chatting fine. Depending on how the convo is going I really don't even want to mention us getting together..if she is interested she will mention getting together right???

**Let me ask you guys this...what would happen if I saw her, and maybe didn't pay much attention to her? Was friendly, said hello, but didn't go and strike up a big convo with her, maybe leave without saying goodbye. Would that do me any good?**

 

[Renegade357]

Agreed?

**My only question would be how to act when I first see her? How should I play it?**

Nope. Whatever you do don't ask her out at the game, she'll probably be expecting that and it will be awkward. When in person or in groups we don't talk about the future with girls we are trying to either bang or land as a girlfriend. You talk about the future with your girlfriend or wife only. If you bump into her at the game just say hi but act like you're too busy for convo. Give her no more than 1 minute of your time. Make sure you say hi though so she doesn't think you're avoiding her or butt hurt. After you do your duty sit back calm and play it cool with your friends. Delicate balance that's for sure. After it's all over call her on Sunday and tell her you wanted to talk to her more but didn't get a chance. Ask her out for Wednesday or Thursday. Be specific about time/place. This will throw her off guard and probably be your best chance for a win.

Oh yea, most important. KEEP IT LIGHT AND FUN AT ALL TIMES

 

[spiegel549]

Nope. Whatever you do don't ask her out at the game, she'll probably be expecting that and it will be awkward. If you bump into her at the game just say hi but act like you're too busy for convo. Give her no more than 1 minute of your time. Make sure you say hi though so she doesn't think you're avoiding her or butt hurt. After you do your duty sit back calm and play it cool with your friends. Delicate balance that's for sure. After it's all over call her on Sunday and tell her you wanted to talk to her more but didn't get a chance. Ask her out for Wednesday or Thursday. Be specific about time/place. This will throw her off guard and probably be your best chance for a win.

Oh yea, most important. KEEP IT LIGHT AND FUN AT ALL TIMES

Renegade357 Thats it brother. Thats the plan. You answered my question as I was "Re-Editing" the last question haha cool bro. I figured that as well. I see her Sunday, she is going to expect me to ask her out..not gonna happen. Be friendly say hello, maybe talk for 1 minute tops, then GET BUSY.

Call after the game a few hours later, say what you said to say, and either I will get a surprising yes, or an expected NO.

Either way I understand that 99.9% this is dead in the water. I rather go out with my head held high then my head up my ass.

THANKS, will let you know what goes down.

 

[Renegade357]

Do not call her the same night as the game. She needs to wonder if you went home with one of the girls you were talking to in front of her. Call her Sunday night. Patience!!! You must have patience!!

Re-read my post I made edits too.

Look her in the eye when you talk. Also make sure you talk to and flirt with other girls at the game in front of her. This is crucial. Good luck dude, I'm pulling for you.

 

[spiegel549]

Do not call her the same night as the game. She needs to wonder if you went home with one of the girls you were talking to in front of her. Call her Sunday night. Patience!!! You must have patience!!

Re-read my post I made edits too.

Look her in the eye when you talk. Also make sure you talk to and flirt with other girls at the game in front of her. This is crucial. Good luck dude, I'm pulling for you.

Renegade357 Brother solid advice. I don't mean to crap on everything you came up with, but one minor detail. This baseball game is my 15 year old cousins game not a MLB game. Mostly older mom's some younger girls to flirt with but sometimes not any. I understand to still play it the same way, be polite and say hello, still remain busy etc.

**For when I am sitting back and relaxing, keeping it cool, as an alternative maybe dress real nice, act like I am heading somewhere and get a "phone call" and duck out early? Act like maybe I have a date? Think I can get the same effect, get her thinking "Oh he is dressed up..wait why is he leaving early? Is he going on a date!?" Type of deal?

**After the game on Sunday, DO NOT call her that night? So I would call her Monday?