She didn't confirm the date tonight...

[HankHill]

So this woman was eager to meet for our 1st date but I was busy and she only had a few nights available between her work etc. Anyway, last she told me was 'I can't do 6:30p but 8 or 8:30p will work'. So I responded with 'that should work, I just have to be in bed by 10ish as I have an early trip starting the next morning'. This was about 3 days ago, she never confirmed with a typical 'sounds good' etc. So I'm thinking of simply taking this as she lost interest, which is no big deal. However, I'm not sure I want to even ask her 'hey, just checking if you're still free around 8p tonight' and just not going? Only reason I ask is if she shows up and I don't I'd feel bad because it usually takes women much longer to get ready for a date etc.

 

[marmel75]

Just send a message about an hour beforehand and say something like "Might be running about 5 minutes late is that cool?".

You aren't confirming and its an easy way for you not to waste your time.

 

[TBG]

Should've confirmed a definite time after the initial exchange. Left things too up in the air with your response.

But yeah still shoot her with a "We still on for tonight?" message. No response, there's your answer. You get a response that doesn't suit you, go from there.

 

[HankHill]

Should've confirmed a definite time after the initial exchange. Left things too up in the air with your response.

But yeah still shoot her with a "We still on for tonight?" message. No response, there's your answer. You get a response that doesn't suit you, go from there.

Just checked the msg I sent and it was "'8:30 will work, I just have to be in bed by 10 because I have to be up for an early trip the next morning"

So to me that was a definite time...if not, how would you have responded? Always open to learning!

 

[Chi Town]

Me personally, I would let her hit me up, I mean if she wants to go she would call/text you, just my opinion though

 

[Roober]

Just send a message about an hour beforehand and say something like "Might be running about 5 minutes late is that cool?".

You aren't confirming and its an easy way for you not to waste your time.

This! Assume she wants to see you.

Do NOT ask "are we still on?" or any variant of this. This provides a level of uncertainty. You cannot leave women to stew in uncertainty.

 

[Glassguy]

This! Assume she wants to see you.

Do NOT ask "are we still on?" or any variant of this. This provides a level of uncertainty. You cannot leave women to stew in uncertainty.

I agree, but I would send it sooner than an hour before so that I could come up with another option if she backs out.

"Hiya ______, lets go ahead and meet up at 8:30 at such and such place. I will end up running a little behind this evening".

No response back, dont show up.

 

[Dash Riprock]

You're not beta for not wanting to waste YOUR time, which by you showing up and her not, would be.

I agree in that you shouldn't "ask" if you're still on (approval seeking, setting her up as he prize). The day of, if they don't confirm first, I usually use "Looking forward to the margs and tapas tonight at ________. They're the bomb! See you at 8:30." No question asked, and you're not in the dark about her showing up. If she doesn't respond in a reasonable amount of time, YOU are not showing up and wasting your time. If she confirms last-minute, I'd tell her I made other plans.

My time is way too valuable to be unsure if we're still on. Plus, high quality women don't play this way.

Not getting some sort of a confirmation is just foolish. Then again, I'm a busy man but maybe others aren't.

 

[Glassguy]

I will add that no texts from her in 3 days is NOT good. It shows that she either forgot, isnt pumped up about the date or is on the fence.
Marginal at best that she both responds back AND shows up for the date tonight.

 

[HankHill]

Yeah, I'm also thinking she lost interest and to be honest I'm not all that into her either...she lives just a couple of miles from me so that was the main motivation for me. I'll send her a txt later tonight and see how it plays out, either way no big deal. Thanks for the input guys!

 

[E-Man-Cipated]

Side bar - she might have flaked because you basically told her 90 minutes max and that you are dull and need to be in bed by 10.

I think you TMI’d... Now once you’ve ****ed her eyes for 90 minutes of a date and had chance to seal the physical chemistry - go ahead and leave at 10.

Hopefully she’ll be disappointed.

 

[Alvafe]

I agree with not defining a time limit is teh basic, the time limit, serious put I would just say well then we leave it to another time.

i'm all for reschedule time, I did that before and they did it to me before, but the answer was right after I send the msg confirmation of it.

up to you really but since you really have a trip next day, and need to sleep that early, better just send a msg, like something come up so I have to cancel today, then let her hit you up

 

[HankHill]

Side bar - she might have flaked because you basically told her 90 minutes max and that you are dull and need to be in bed by 10.

I think you TMI’d... Now once you’ve ****ed her eyes for 90 minutes of a date and had chance to seal the physical chemistry - go ahead and leave at 10.

Hopefully she’ll be disappointed.

LOL if she's that immature to deduce that I'm dull because I'm leaving for a trip early the next day and that's why I can only give her about an hr of my time then oh well...her loss Plenty of other chicks blowing up my phone.

 

[sazc]

These are situations where I feel like you guys are being way too over-analytical.

I think it's safe to assume if she doesn't confirm that she is going to meet you. Just go. Show up. What's the worst that can happen? You stand there and wait for her and she doesn't show up? Is that really all that bad?

you are there, she is not, and she will never know that you went and waited. However, if she does show up you will be there.

In the interim, if she doesn't show up, maybe you will meet someone else?

No need to confirm, assume it's on and go

 

[sazc]

Push the boundaries of your comfortability

 

[marmel75]

These are situations where I feel like you guys are being way too over-analytical.

I think it's safe to assume if she doesn't confirm that she is going to meet you. Just go. Show up. What's the worst that can happen? You stand there and wait for her and she doesn't show up? Is that really all that bad?

you are there, she is not, and she will never know that you went and waited. However, if she does show up you will be there.

In the interim, if she doesn't show up, maybe you will meet someone else?

No need to confirm, assume it's on and go

It is when you can easily send the message I said to send and not have to waste your time if she then responds flakily

 

[Roober]

LOL if she's that immature to deduce that I'm dull because I'm leaving for a trip early the next day and that's why I can only give her about an hr of my time then oh well...her loss Plenty of other chicks blowing up my phone.

I have to agree with @E-Man-Cipated . Even if your time is limited, it would be best just to not share that information. A man should always live just beyond his edge. There are subtle messages to telling her you only have a limited time cause you need your sleep. Many men fail to realize how these subtleties actually impact a woman's interest.

She could think 1 of many things...
-Your a dud, and sleep is more important than an occasional night out.
-Your life revolves around work.
-You are rigid in your expectations.

These are the very subtle nuances of relations with women that men fail to recognize.

@sazc I am sorry but that is terrible advice. No confirmation = no date. I may even make her think I went, and send a "I'm a bit late, be there in 10" from the comfort of my home. Then showing forgiveness and carrying an attitude of nonchalance for a second date yields fantastic rewards.

 

[HankHill]

These are situations where I feel like you guys are being way too over-analytical.

I think it's safe to assume if she doesn't confirm that she is going to meet you. Just go. Show up. What's the worst that can happen? You stand there and wait for her and she doesn't show up? Is that really all that bad?

you are there, she is not, and she will never know that you went and waited. However, if she does show up you will be there.

In the interim, if she doesn't show up, maybe you will meet someone else?

No need to confirm, assume it's on and go

I'm usually not like that, I don't follow some scripted form but I usually get a 'sounds good' or 'see you then' sort of a response and then my default action is to just go and do as you said. However, in this case I'm seeing the likely hood of her showing up is low and I really don't want to dress up, drive there, hang out and then come home when I could be doing something more productive and guaranteed fun with my time...such as porn hahaha

I totally agree about the over-analytical part though, some guys here read far too much into every little word or action. Seriously guys, you can't live your life walking on eggshells, where's your IDGAF attitude? I was married for 10+yrs, have had several relationships that lasted 4-8+yrs and I NEVER skated around watching myself like you guys do every little word or move you make. Sure I've learned several things here but the biggest of it is to have a true IDGAF what women think/do. If you just do you the right woman will be happy to spend time with you.

I do appreciate all the input- she just texted 'look forward to meeting you! '

 

[wifehunter]

 

[HankHill]

I have to agree with @E-Man-Cipated . Even if your time is limited, it would be best just to not share that information. A man should always live just beyond his edge. There are subtle messages to telling her you only have a limited time cause you need your sleep. Many men fail to realize how these subtleties actually impact a woman's interest.

She could think 1 of many things...
-Your a dud, and sleep is more important than an occasional night out.
-Your life revolves around work.
-You are rigid in your expectations.

These are the very subtle nuances of relations with women that men fail to recognize.

@sazc I am sorry but that is terrible advice. No confirmation = no date. I may even make her think I went, and send a "I'm a bit late, be there in 10" from the comfort of my home. Then showing forgiveness and carrying an attitude of nonchalance for a second date yields fantastic rewards.

Right, she could literally think 1 of many things:
- the guy is busy so the guy has a life
- the guy's time is limited i.e. high SMV
- the guy's making time for me even though he's busy, genuine guy, not a player

...but who cares? if she makes it great because I know I'm an awesome catch, if she doesn't her loss *shrug*

I just wanted to get an opinion if I should reach out to confirm or not so I'm not making her dress up and then not show up...I'm glad I did too because that's exactly what would've happened if I didn't ask her.