ok so I have had a crush on this girl in my chemistry class for a while.We talked a few times before so she at least knows I exist.I found her on Facebook and sent her a friend request (assuming that it's acceptable since we know each other+we got some mutual friends).Now it has been 2 days and my request is still pending.I'm not sure if she even logged in to facebook yet but I think she won't accept it anyways.1 of my friends likes her too so he sometimes followed her after school and sent her messages on Facebook until she blocked him and he still annoys her sometimes.I'm afraid that she thinks I would do the same thing my frind did or that I'm adding her so my friend can benefit from that somehow...I had a class with her today,we didn't talk but we didn't run into each other anyways.I'm really confused right now...help :/
She didn't accept my friend request on facebook
- Thread starter Ryann
- Start date
The confusion arises from the insecurity I am sensing from your post. Whether she accepts the requests or continues to leave it pending, really should be the least of your concerns. Continue to talk to her, up the attraction, get to know her more, etc.
After all, it's her number you want, not her Facebook.
After all, it's her number you want, not her Facebook.
So(in case she never accepted my friend request),all I have to do is pretend like nothing ever happened and continue my game with her ? I think if she got even a little bit of interest in me she would at least accept my friend request.Blistex said:
I think if you are interested in this girl, then yeah that pretty much is your only option.HugoB said:
What else could you do? Ignore her / No Contact? Ask her about the FB request? Neither of those options will get you the girl and asking her about the FB request might make her think that you care too much about her already.
I don't think you should assume anything about the friend request this early on. She has not flat out rejected you yet—that's a good sign! As you stated, she knows you exist but that does not mean she is attracted to you or has a high level of attraction for you anyway. That's why I recommend talking to her more, building the attraction, getting her number, going out with her, etc. It's a lengthy process but remember that a good looking girl will have other guys hitting her as well. You have to make your moves because she won't be single forever.
I guess you are right.Btw,I believe she was kinda giving me signs.Like if we are in a group conversation,she would focus on me most of the time.And when I get into class(I usually come after her),she ALWAYS looks at me even that the class is pretty big.I might just be making wrong assumptions tho.Blistex said:
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
You WILL be judged by the company that you keep. That is something that you cannot change. So your freind may well have indirectly c0ckblocked you here.
It is up to YOU to TALK TO HER. and prove that you are a cool, funny, smart guy that is good fun to be around.
You shouldn't be worried about Facebook - Its a site made for 13 year old girls. Dont breach the subject in conversation - sound like you have nothing better to do with your life than watch the internet 'social' networks.
You need to ASK FOR HER NUMBER. and ASK HER OUT.
If she denies either of those to you, then NEXT!
You should be chatting up more than just this one girl. Lack of options laeds to outcome dependence.
Being dependant on the outcome leads to desperation.
Desperation will lead to failure.
So. GET SOME OPTIONS.
She is NOT the only girl in the world so dont treat her like she is. Talk to her and treat her like she's an annoying kid sister.:yes:
It is up to YOU to TALK TO HER. and prove that you are a cool, funny, smart guy that is good fun to be around.
You shouldn't be worried about Facebook - Its a site made for 13 year old girls. Dont breach the subject in conversation - sound like you have nothing better to do with your life than watch the internet 'social' networks.
You need to ASK FOR HER NUMBER. and ASK HER OUT.
If she denies either of those to you, then NEXT!
You should be chatting up more than just this one girl. Lack of options laeds to outcome dependence.
Being dependant on the outcome leads to desperation.
Desperation will lead to failure.
So. GET SOME OPTIONS.
She is NOT the only girl in the world so dont treat her like she is. Talk to her and treat her like she's an annoying kid sister.:yes:
Blistex said:
BPH
Master Don Juan
Not accepting friend request on FB = End of world
@Purefilth: I'm talking about the fact that she hasn't rejected his FB request yet. It's still pending. I do not think that warrants a conclusion that she has absolutely 0.0000000 interest in him. If people were to ask him why he did not proceed with this girl, his answer would be what? She didn't accept my friend request on FB so I moved on? It sounds pretty beta/AFC to me. I would want something more concrete to warrant a conclusion that she really has no interest.
Point being, the interest level is probably somewhat low (based on the information we have been given) but that's why the OP has to build the interest level/attraction. You can't expect the girl to be madly in love with you when she barely knows you. That's my take on the situation.
Point being, the interest level is probably somewhat low (based on the information we have been given) but that's why the OP has to build the interest level/attraction. You can't expect the girl to be madly in love with you when she barely knows you. That's my take on the situation.
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
I get what youre trying to say here - but Dont kid yourself.Blistex said:
Girls have Ipads, laptops computers smart phones. If they dont then their friends do. granted theres a chance she just hasn't got one of these and she hasn't logged in to face book in the past 3 days.
But more likely is that she clicked the Ignore button. And being as OP admitted to not talking to her since then....
I'm just trying to save you some hurt here OP, obviously youre gonna do what youre gonna do - thats what makes us human. But From experience - dont put all of your eggs in one basket.
DO WE EVEN KNOW IF SHE IS SINGLE????
.
LearningSlowly
Master Don Juan
OP, you don't seem to respect yourself. Look in your mirror and see if you're proud. When I can tell a girl isn't interested, I know all the things about me she's missing, and if those aren't her priorities, I probably don't respect her very much.
I am an artist, poet, and scholar. I enjoy sports, travel, and music. My interests are diverse and I can relate to any successful person.
Do you have even one passion?
I am an artist, poet, and scholar. I enjoy sports, travel, and music. My interests are diverse and I can relate to any successful person.
Do you have even one passion?
My request is still pending so she neither accepted nor ignored it yet.I'm not hurt at all,trust me.If I ultimately found out she isn't interested in me,I will automatically lose attraction to her.Why would I love someone who doesn't love me back ? Although I'm starting to get tired from being single.I'm still 16 but I still feel lonely.I didn't even have any interaction with females my age till recently because of my shyness with them even if I'm not attracted to that particular girl but I'm no longer shy with girls which is in itself an achievement for me.She is single btw(guess you didn't read my previous post)Purefilth said:
Well yeah,my self-esteem is pretty low.Truth is I act confident most of the time but deep inside me,I feel insecure except when I'm around friends because I know they like me the way I am.LearningSlowly said:
eastcoast15
Don Juan
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I dunno fellas you guys seem to be missing the big picture here.
Your friend followed her home and sent her facebook messages until she blocked him.
You didn't even bring up the fact that this is really really ****ing creepy. Which I can assume you haven't quite dialed in your calibration yet.
Telling you to keep talking to her and building attraction is probably something that you aren't something that you aren't particularly good at yet. Her not accepting you is a clear sign that at this point she is NOT INTERESTED.
Ryann bud,
You have to work on your game and get the fundamental understanding. You need to build up your relationship with the girl and actually make a connection with her. Once you do that things like facebook or getting the number wont be an issue.
At this point I would just act like you didn't even know it happened and talk to her as you would working on building some attraction and making her interested in you.
Also, find some new friends. Your friend sounds super creepy and is only going to be a huge negative on your reputation if he does things like that.
Your friend followed her home and sent her facebook messages until she blocked him.
You didn't even bring up the fact that this is really really ****ing creepy. Which I can assume you haven't quite dialed in your calibration yet.
Telling you to keep talking to her and building attraction is probably something that you aren't something that you aren't particularly good at yet. Her not accepting you is a clear sign that at this point she is NOT INTERESTED.
If shes not accepting him on facebook there is 0 chance shes going to give him her number. If he ends up asking shes just going to say no politely, walk off and tell her friends how creepy it sounded.Purefilth said:
Ryann bud,
You have to work on your game and get the fundamental understanding. You need to build up your relationship with the girl and actually make a connection with her. Once you do that things like facebook or getting the number wont be an issue.
At this point I would just act like you didn't even know it happened and talk to her as you would working on building some attraction and making her interested in you.
Also, find some new friends. Your friend sounds super creepy and is only going to be a huge negative on your reputation if he does things like that.
I do know that what my friend did was creepy.He got no experience with girls.He isn't really a close friend, I just got a lot of classes with him lol.I will work on building attraction with her and pretend like nothing happened. I know a friend who added a girl he likes on fb and she didn't accept it then 2 weeks later (after he got closer to her), he asked her for her number and she gave it to him.Thanks for the adviceeastcoast15 said:
ebracer05
Senior Don Juan
lol
Ok man, look... there just isn't a whole lot to say about this. You are in high school and you sent a friend request to a girl you like in one of your classes. First, you are way too young to be hung up on just one girl. You should be keeping your options open and swimming in the sea that is women in your high school. She is just one girl and she can't be the only one you're attracted to.
Second... why is this Facebook thing such a big deal? You've attached some sort of meaning to her accepting your friend request that probably isn't grounded in reality. I mean dude, what does it mean really if she accepts or denies it? When someone sends you a friend request do you ascribe it some special meaning? Facebook is such an indirect and passive means of communication. If you aren't winning the war with her when you are present with her, how do you think you're going to win the war over the internet? Even if you do, what's going to happen? You will be one person on Facebook and a different person in class.
This nonsense is ruining males because it reinforces passivity in their interactions which is distinctly feminine. Somehow it is all together different to be rejected through a text message or over Facebook than to have it happen in person. That is not the right way to go. I think this is one of the reasons why guys are so warped these days - 20 years ago they didn't have this technology and people actually had to talk to each other. If you were horny, you can't dial in a video of a beautiful guy naked, you either had to pony up and actually participate in the human mating ritual or you jerked off to your imagination.
Look man, like I said, you need to focus on winning the war with her in person. If you are worried about whether she's going to accept a Facebook request, you already lost. What is probably happening is that you have developed a oneitis that is not rational and don't want to hear real solutions to your problem. But if you do, read the DJ bible and keep asking for help. And don't settle for learning how to be a DJ or PUA... learn what it means to be a man. That's already inside of you. Everything else is secondary to your understanding who you are as a man. Your demons are the insecurities you talk about, and we all have them. But if you can learn to master them, you will be amazed at what you are capable of doing.
Ok man, look... there just isn't a whole lot to say about this. You are in high school and you sent a friend request to a girl you like in one of your classes. First, you are way too young to be hung up on just one girl. You should be keeping your options open and swimming in the sea that is women in your high school. She is just one girl and she can't be the only one you're attracted to.
Second... why is this Facebook thing such a big deal? You've attached some sort of meaning to her accepting your friend request that probably isn't grounded in reality. I mean dude, what does it mean really if she accepts or denies it? When someone sends you a friend request do you ascribe it some special meaning? Facebook is such an indirect and passive means of communication. If you aren't winning the war with her when you are present with her, how do you think you're going to win the war over the internet? Even if you do, what's going to happen? You will be one person on Facebook and a different person in class.
This nonsense is ruining males because it reinforces passivity in their interactions which is distinctly feminine. Somehow it is all together different to be rejected through a text message or over Facebook than to have it happen in person. That is not the right way to go. I think this is one of the reasons why guys are so warped these days - 20 years ago they didn't have this technology and people actually had to talk to each other. If you were horny, you can't dial in a video of a beautiful guy naked, you either had to pony up and actually participate in the human mating ritual or you jerked off to your imagination.
Look man, like I said, you need to focus on winning the war with her in person. If you are worried about whether she's going to accept a Facebook request, you already lost. What is probably happening is that you have developed a oneitis that is not rational and don't want to hear real solutions to your problem. But if you do, read the DJ bible and keep asking for help. And don't settle for learning how to be a DJ or PUA... learn what it means to be a man. That's already inside of you. Everything else is secondary to your understanding who you are as a man. Your demons are the insecurities you talk about, and we all have them. But if you can learn to master them, you will be amazed at what you are capable of doing.
BPH
Master Don Juan
Please let this thread die.
buzzin_frog
Don Juan
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- Feb 6, 2013
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- 172
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- 107
Forget this facebook stuff!! You need to start talking with girls to get your confidence up. That will develop your game for the future. Sending out requests does nothing to help you!! You need to find out what works and what doesn't work for you in face to face interactions. And who cares if you get rejected right now anyway. Your goal right now is to develop your game so you can get girls in the future!! start now man...practice makes perfect!!
Forget about sending requests....start talking to these chicks instead....then get their number!! Sending friend requests won't help you get girls!! You should know these girls well enough before you try to add them as friends!!
she doesn't want to accept your request....she is leaving it pending so you don't try to add her again.
What more concrete evidence do you need? Girls are always on facebook.....they get updates on their phones for new requests....a pending request is just as good as a denied request....he is not on her list..she has no interest!!
Just because you have a crush on her doesn't mean that she should accept your friend request!! She really doesn't know you at all. You only talked a few times!! Maybe she only adds people she really knows. Maybe she thought it was creepy to get a random request!!Ryann said:
Forget about sending requests....start talking to these chicks instead....then get their number!! Sending friend requests won't help you get girls!! You should know these girls well enough before you try to add them as friends!!
Your friend sounds creepy......since you sent a request to her....she might think you are creepy as well since you're friends.Ryann said:
she doesn't want to accept your request....she is leaving it pending so you don't try to add her again.
So what if she did accept his request? That doesn't mean she likes him well enough to date him. Girls can accept any guy as a friend online....that doesn't mean that she wants to be with him!!....that's why you need to be talking to them.... instead of requesting!!Blistex said:
What more concrete evidence do you need? Girls are always on facebook.....they get updates on their phones for new requests....a pending request is just as good as a denied request....he is not on her list..she has no interest!!
What are you talking about? A guy doesn't need to be flat out rejected for a girl to have no interest!!Blistex said:
A beautiful guy? WTF? wtf are you talking about? They still had The Playboy Channel, magazines, and VHS adult movies back then for guys to jerk to!! C'mon man...get with it!! you're 48 years old!! why don't you know that?ebracer05 said:
This should be none of your concern!! If you don't like a thread, don't read it!! This guy is coming here for help....that is what we are giving him....this is what this forum is for....buzz offBPH said: