She broke up and I fcked up

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
1,058
Age
33
Location
Brazil
I made a last post saying that she broke up with me and tonight she called me trying to get back but I was really mad at it and didnt reply to her.

Main reason was because she didnt reply my questions on a assertive way.

So after that I drunk too much, went to a stripper club and fcked a woman there I knew for some years.

Sorry this is sh1t. I should not feel that way, but even knowing she broke up with me I feel guilty because I did that and I just wanna put an end on that. I really wanna die and end this sh1t.

Its like I fcked up even knowing she broke up with me. And having unprotected sex with a stripper I just feel myself like a sh1t. I just wanna finish my life and stop being that stupid person.

Sorry to say those weird things but everything is going down and as Im without my med I have this insane idea of wanting to put an end on my life. I feel guilty even knowing I shouldnt and idk what to do.
 

lost_blackbird

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
886
Reaction score
822
Location
South West UK
Not only a stripper but a Brazilian one at that. To coin a popular phrase, 'you will never find a more
wretched hive of scum and villainy
'. Off to the Doctors with you, maybe get some more psyche meds
while you are there.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,261
Reaction score
4,763
Age
44
I made a last post saying that she broke up with me and tonight she called me trying to get back but I was really mad at it and didnt reply to her.

Main reason was because she didnt reply my questions on a assertive way.

So after that I drunk too much, went to a stripper club and fcked a woman there I knew for some years.

Sorry this is sh1t. I should not feel that way, but even knowing she broke up with me I feel guilty because I did that and I just wanna put an end on that. I really wanna die and end this sh1t.

Its like I fcked up even knowing she broke up with me. And having unprotected sex with a stripper I just feel myself like a sh1t. I just wanna finish my life and stop being that stupid person.

Sorry to say those weird things but everything is going down and as Im without my med I have this insane idea of wanting to put an end on my life. I feel guilty even knowing I shouldnt and idk what to do.
No problem. Just tell her that you didn't see her message because you were busy banging a stripper from behind. I'm sure she'll understand.
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
1,058
Age
33
Location
Brazil
Not only a stripper but a Brazilian one at that. To coin a popular phrase, 'you will never find a more
wretched hive of scum and villainy
'. Off to the Doctors with you, maybe get some more psyche meds
while you are there.
Didn't understand that.
 

Bandolero

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2019
Messages
231
Reaction score
204
Location
Germany
Who gives a **** ?

She probably sucked a **** that night and was ready to take you back and kiss the same day.

Just because the other guy ditched.


Jokes aside .
Why are you upset?
You acted out . It happens.
Just keep it to yourself.
Repeat.
Keep it to yourself .

The guilt fades away with time
 

CoandaEffect

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2020
Messages
194
Reaction score
297
Location
USA
You have nothing to feel guilty about, you did nothing wrong. She broke up with you and did a very natural thing by moving on and seeking sex elsewhere. Do not beat yourself up about this.

The serious side of your post is about your meds and your suicidal thoughts. Why are you off your meds? Do what you have to do to get back on them.

In terms of the suicidal thoughts I urge you to seek help with that, talking to someone, even on a suicide hotline can help.

Take care of yourself, these rough times will pass.
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
1,058
Age
33
Location
Brazil
Who gives a **** ?

She probably sucked a **** that night and was ready to take you back and kiss the same day.

Just because the other guy ditched.


Jokes aside .
Why are you upset?
You acted out . It happens.
Just keep it to yourself.
Repeat.
Keep it to yourself .

The guilt fades away with time
I shouldnt feel that way. And it doesnt seems to have any reason to feel guilty.

Maybe I just felt bad cause I liked her. But to be honest, if she really cares that much she wouldnt ignore me for a whole day before calling me out to get back.
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
1,058
Age
33
Location
Brazil
You have nothing to feel guilty about, you did nothing wrong. She broke up with you and did a very natural thing by moving on and seeking sex elsewhere. Do not beat yourself up about this.

The serious side of your post is about your meds and your suicidal thoughts. Why are you off your meds? Do what you have to do to get back on them.

In terms of the suicidal thoughts I urge you to seek help with that, talking to someone, even on a suicide hotline can help.

Take care of yourself, these rough times will pass.
Thanks man.

Im gonna went back with my meds today. I definitely cant stay without it now. I stopped cause I thought I could walk without it but its not the case as I experienced this night.

Those thoughts really freaks me out. And about my ex, I know I didnt do anything wrong, but my mind keeps making me feel guilt.

I had my reasons and even if she was mad and didnt want to break up, that really hurt me.
 

Cerwin Vega

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2014
Messages
641
Reaction score
128
Location
EU
Visit your doctor and ask for PEP (TRUVADA/EMTRIVIR TEVA), an STD panel, and next time use a rubber.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,824
Reaction score
4,140
She was a pain in the a$$. You dodged a bullet bro. Now you are free to meet younger/hotter girls.
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
1,058
Age
33
Location
Brazil
She was a pain in the a$$. You dodged a bullet bro. Now you are free to meet younger/hotter girls.
It just seems I always feel guilt for some stuffs and I cant organize the facts properly to understand what was right or wrong.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,484
Reaction score
2,612
I made a last post saying that she broke up with me and tonight she called me trying to get back but I was really mad at it and didnt reply to her.

Main reason was because she didnt reply my questions on a assertive way.

So after that I drunk too much, went to a stripper club and fcked a woman there I knew for some years.

Sorry this is sh1t. I should not feel that way, but even knowing she broke up with me I feel guilty because I did that and I just wanna put an end on that. I really wanna die and end this sh1t.

Its like I fcked up even knowing she broke up with me. And having unprotected sex with a stripper I just feel myself like a sh1t. I just wanna finish my life and stop being that stupid person.

Sorry to say those weird things but everything is going down and as Im without my med I have this insane idea of wanting to put an end on my life. I feel guilty even knowing I shouldnt and idk what to do.
Nothing we can say will give you peace or really help for that matter.

For one, regarding your ex this is simply a matter of time. You have to suck it up, give it time, and be patient. It's going to stink for a while. She broke up with you so respect yourself a little and break contact.

Second, regarding the stripper. Well, nothing you can do about that either but hope she is aware enough to take plan B ASAP (if you really want to be proactive) and then get yourself tested. But this is what happens when we think with our d**ks. It's a learning opportunity to be better next time.

Again, be patient and focus on what you can control. Your mindset, your actions, your words.


Modern Man Advice
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
1,058
Age
33
Location
Brazil
Nothing we can say will give you peace or really help for that matter.

For one, regarding your ex this is simply a matter of time. You have to suck it up, give it time, and be patient. It's going to stink for a while. She broke up with you so respect yourself a little and break contact.

Second, regarding the stripper. Well, nothing you can do about that either but hope she is aware enough to take plan B ASAP (if you really want to be proactive) and then get yourself tested. But this is what happens when we think with our d**ks. It's a learning opportunity to be better next time.

Again, be patient and focus on what you can control. Your mindset, your actions, your words.


Modern Man Advice
Thanks man!
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
1,058
Age
33
Location
Brazil
Nothing we can say will give you peace or really help for that matter.

For one, regarding your ex this is simply a matter of time. You have to suck it up, give it time, and be patient. It's going to stink for a while. She broke up with you so respect yourself a little and break contact.

Second, regarding the stripper. Well, nothing you can do about that either but hope she is aware enough to take plan B ASAP (if you really want to be proactive) and then get yourself tested. But this is what happens when we think with our d**ks. It's a learning opportunity to be better next time.

Again, be patient and focus on what you can control. Your mindset, your actions, your words.


Modern Man Advice
I thought I was finally in control with those situations, but this situation with that girl messed with me. I was more than 100 days without alcohol, life getting good. But then we had this fight and I ended up using alcohol to hide the pain.

And alcohol inhibits me so its easier to do such a thing.

I also know its a reaction to a pain, I try to not judge myself that much and learn with that. The thing is that I feel that I betrayed her cause yesterday she called me a lot of times trying to get back, but I was so angry because she broke up on phone and I was already drinking.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,518
Reaction score
2,810
Age
50
Before you get in a monogamous relationship, you need to know in your heart that you could go out and meet another woman if that relationship went up in smoke. Have a mindset when you do enter in a relationship: She is not the one, she is just the one to beat (as far as other women are concerned). AKA the "Best Forever Yet"

As for the alcohol, just start the count over. This is proof it sure doesn't help so now you know it's not the tool you want to use to deal with pain, grief and disappointment.
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,531
Reaction score
1,058
Age
33
Location
Brazil
Before you get in a monogamous relationship, you need to know in your heart that you could go out and meet another woman if that relationship went up in smoke. Have a mindset when you do enter in a relationship: She is not the one, she is just the one to beat (as far as other women are concerned). AKA the "Best Forever Yet"

As for the alcohol, just start the count over. This is proof it sure doesn't help so now you know it's not the tool you want to use to deal with pain, grief and disappointment.
That's true.

I've already put in the trash all the other beers that I bought yesterday. I definitely don't want it and I know how bad it is to drink when I'm sad about something.

I'm going back with my medication since it helped with compulsion on alcohol, foods, etc. And I think only time could make things better now.

Thanks for your support.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,484
Reaction score
2,612
I thought I was finally in control with those situations, but this situation with that girl messed with me. I was more than 100 days without alcohol, life getting good. But then we had this fight and I ended up using alcohol to hide the pain.

And alcohol inhibits me so its easier to do such a thing.

I also know its a reaction to a pain, I try to not judge myself that much and learn with that. The thing is that I feel that I betrayed her cause yesterday she called me a lot of times trying to get back, but I was so angry because she broke up on phone and I was already drinking.
It happens, man. And it happens to the best of us. We all trip, but I am sure you will get up again. Continue focusing on now going 100+ days. You got this.

And don't avoid the pain. Feel it, embrace it, and then use it to move forward.


Modern man Advice
 
Top