SmoothSmooth
Master Don Juan
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How to tell the difference between a SH*T TEST and DISRESPECT. Confusing the two is a fatal mistake.
SH*T TEST
A sh*t test occurs whenever an interaction is escalating towards potential intimacy. It can occur before the first date, during the second date, right before sex etc. They happen whenever the prospect of potential sex becomes 'more real' in her eyes. A sh*t test is a sign that you are being considered as a potential mate to her and is a great sign. She sees you as an alpha and wants to verify her feelings. If you are being sh*t tested, you are no longer one of the 50 guys messaging her, but most likely in her top 3 canditates.
A sh*t test is PRECEEDED by compliance and PROCEEDED by compliance. If you haven't been recieving Indicators of Interest and positive behaviour prior to the test; it is not a sh*t test!
Sh*t tests are SUDDEN. You will get tons of compliance and positive signs then...boom! A test. They are often a sudden break in compliance, which is what throws you off - an insecure man wonders 'did I do something wrong? is there another man stealing her attention?'. They are often also not personal in nature and fairly discreet - if you date enough women, you see the same patterns - turning up late for the date, asking you to hold her bag, ignoring a message for a few days/weeks to see if you get needy and double text, flaking before the first date etc. There are only two correct responses to a test - ignoring it (eg if she ignores your message/flakes) or being c*cky funny about it eg if she asks you to hold her bag or buy a drink. When you pass a test, her attraction increases. There is common misconception that women do not test men they find highly attractive. This completely untrue. A test has nothing to do with your SMV. In order for a woman to verify her feelings and your status, she needs concrete evidence. Sure, her favourite celebrity may have an easier time getting laid, but this isnt about attractivenes, there are other forces at play - fear of loss/regret, the social benefits of hooking up with him, social proof, the desire for money etc. He may not even get enthusiastic sex, because she hasnt tested him thoroughly enough to feel turned on. Tests are not in response to your attractiveness but rather her COMFORT - if you have cold approached a girl or met online, you will get tested more vigorously than if you met at work or via social circle. This is why cold approach put you ahead of men she has met online (she has met you = more comfort = less testing/hoops required before the date)...and most couples meet via social circle (less testing = its easier for the guy). Tests should significantly reduce in quantity as a relationship progresses and comfort rises, however will always occur.
DISRESPECT
Disrespect is not sudden. If you pay attention, it happened gradually. For example, your girlfriend of 6 months flirts briefly with your friend at your birthday party (this happened to someone I know). If you pay attention, in the week prior she was replying later to your texts, laughing a little softer at your jokes, she turned up late to your party, drunk and THEN flirted with your friend. You had weak boundaries and slowly she kept pushing more and more.
Disrespect is a sign that her interest level has dropped and YOU ARE NO LONGER AN ALPHA MALE in her eyes. This can be confusing, because she may still be sleeping with you. However, since women desire a beta provider more than an alpha lover, her only disrespecting you does not mean she will end the relationship - it just means she no longer feels as excited as she once did. Disrespect will occur in every relationship to varying degrees.
The good news is that, in most cases, it is salvageable. What has happened is that she detected weakness - it could be in your behaviour towards her or something unrelated (eg she heard a rumour about you or found your stash of porn etc). The ONLY response to ANY level disrespect is to NOT respond emotionally - but to mention it out to her as unemotionally as possible (this shows you are not comfortable with her behaviour - which means you have boundaries and are a high status individual) 'eg I didnt appreciate you turning up drunk to the party' and to REMOVE your attention/investment in the relationship to a degree until her attraction rises again. This could mean going no contact, or just being a little more aloof/detached/colder (she will notice this). However, in some cases, you will also need to display value. When you are being disrespected, its like you are back at square one in the relationship, as if before you ever had sex. Alongside the aloofness/being less available (physically and emotionally), you may need to start getting in shape, buying new clothes, new haircut, make her jealous, go on holiday etc in order to make her see you back as an ALPHA again. Once she does, the disrespect should stop and you can expect feminine behaviour again. It is important that all of this is done COVERTLY. Make her come to you and set new boundaries when she asks for a second chance. The relationship can be reborn into something greater.
Women on the spectrum (eg narcissists) will disrespect daily because they are constantly prodding for weakness and highly insecure. If you choose to be in a relationship with one; the same applies - always call out disrespectful behaviour, but in a cool logical way, withdraw and display value.
There must always be real consequences to the disrespect. Also make sure you are not displaying value in a way to please her, but rather because you want her to fear that you could attract a better mate.
Unlike a sh*t test, disrespect often tends to be personal (a woman can ask ANY guy to hold her bag or flake on ANY guy but flirting with your best friend is personal) and overt/direct.
Do not react to disrespect like you would a sh*t test. Do not call it out in a playful or c*cky way - this will be seen as weak. You need to be firm and direct, like a school teacher to a bad student.
Remember, a woman will never intentionally disrespect a man she sees as alpha (just like she wouldn't intentionally disrespect her boss at work...its not in her benefit to insult someone who is benefiting her). However, the same man can go from alpha to beta to alpha etc throughout the cycles of a relationship. You must decide for yourself the level of disrespect you would tolerate before ending a relationship permanently.
Final point - if disrespect has got to the point that a woman has cheated on you sexually - she can NEVER go back to seeing you as alpha in a relationship. You will always be seen as inferior to the man she cheated on you with.
reacting to a sh*t test like its disrespect will LOWER attraction (eg if you try to display value - it will look needy, call her out on it - it will look try hard or withdraw your pursuit - it will look weak). reacting to disrespect like a sh*t test (eg being funny, ignoring it etc) will look weak and unmascone
SH*T TEST
A sh*t test occurs whenever an interaction is escalating towards potential intimacy. It can occur before the first date, during the second date, right before sex etc. They happen whenever the prospect of potential sex becomes 'more real' in her eyes. A sh*t test is a sign that you are being considered as a potential mate to her and is a great sign. She sees you as an alpha and wants to verify her feelings. If you are being sh*t tested, you are no longer one of the 50 guys messaging her, but most likely in her top 3 canditates.
A sh*t test is PRECEEDED by compliance and PROCEEDED by compliance. If you haven't been recieving Indicators of Interest and positive behaviour prior to the test; it is not a sh*t test!
Sh*t tests are SUDDEN. You will get tons of compliance and positive signs then...boom! A test. They are often a sudden break in compliance, which is what throws you off - an insecure man wonders 'did I do something wrong? is there another man stealing her attention?'. They are often also not personal in nature and fairly discreet - if you date enough women, you see the same patterns - turning up late for the date, asking you to hold her bag, ignoring a message for a few days/weeks to see if you get needy and double text, flaking before the first date etc. There are only two correct responses to a test - ignoring it (eg if she ignores your message/flakes) or being c*cky funny about it eg if she asks you to hold her bag or buy a drink. When you pass a test, her attraction increases. There is common misconception that women do not test men they find highly attractive. This completely untrue. A test has nothing to do with your SMV. In order for a woman to verify her feelings and your status, she needs concrete evidence. Sure, her favourite celebrity may have an easier time getting laid, but this isnt about attractivenes, there are other forces at play - fear of loss/regret, the social benefits of hooking up with him, social proof, the desire for money etc. He may not even get enthusiastic sex, because she hasnt tested him thoroughly enough to feel turned on. Tests are not in response to your attractiveness but rather her COMFORT - if you have cold approached a girl or met online, you will get tested more vigorously than if you met at work or via social circle. This is why cold approach put you ahead of men she has met online (she has met you = more comfort = less testing/hoops required before the date)...and most couples meet via social circle (less testing = its easier for the guy). Tests should significantly reduce in quantity as a relationship progresses and comfort rises, however will always occur.
DISRESPECT
Disrespect is not sudden. If you pay attention, it happened gradually. For example, your girlfriend of 6 months flirts briefly with your friend at your birthday party (this happened to someone I know). If you pay attention, in the week prior she was replying later to your texts, laughing a little softer at your jokes, she turned up late to your party, drunk and THEN flirted with your friend. You had weak boundaries and slowly she kept pushing more and more.
Disrespect is a sign that her interest level has dropped and YOU ARE NO LONGER AN ALPHA MALE in her eyes. This can be confusing, because she may still be sleeping with you. However, since women desire a beta provider more than an alpha lover, her only disrespecting you does not mean she will end the relationship - it just means she no longer feels as excited as she once did. Disrespect will occur in every relationship to varying degrees.
The good news is that, in most cases, it is salvageable. What has happened is that she detected weakness - it could be in your behaviour towards her or something unrelated (eg she heard a rumour about you or found your stash of porn etc). The ONLY response to ANY level disrespect is to NOT respond emotionally - but to mention it out to her as unemotionally as possible (this shows you are not comfortable with her behaviour - which means you have boundaries and are a high status individual) 'eg I didnt appreciate you turning up drunk to the party' and to REMOVE your attention/investment in the relationship to a degree until her attraction rises again. This could mean going no contact, or just being a little more aloof/detached/colder (she will notice this). However, in some cases, you will also need to display value. When you are being disrespected, its like you are back at square one in the relationship, as if before you ever had sex. Alongside the aloofness/being less available (physically and emotionally), you may need to start getting in shape, buying new clothes, new haircut, make her jealous, go on holiday etc in order to make her see you back as an ALPHA again. Once she does, the disrespect should stop and you can expect feminine behaviour again. It is important that all of this is done COVERTLY. Make her come to you and set new boundaries when she asks for a second chance. The relationship can be reborn into something greater.
Women on the spectrum (eg narcissists) will disrespect daily because they are constantly prodding for weakness and highly insecure. If you choose to be in a relationship with one; the same applies - always call out disrespectful behaviour, but in a cool logical way, withdraw and display value.
There must always be real consequences to the disrespect. Also make sure you are not displaying value in a way to please her, but rather because you want her to fear that you could attract a better mate.
Unlike a sh*t test, disrespect often tends to be personal (a woman can ask ANY guy to hold her bag or flake on ANY guy but flirting with your best friend is personal) and overt/direct.
Do not react to disrespect like you would a sh*t test. Do not call it out in a playful or c*cky way - this will be seen as weak. You need to be firm and direct, like a school teacher to a bad student.
Remember, a woman will never intentionally disrespect a man she sees as alpha (just like she wouldn't intentionally disrespect her boss at work...its not in her benefit to insult someone who is benefiting her). However, the same man can go from alpha to beta to alpha etc throughout the cycles of a relationship. You must decide for yourself the level of disrespect you would tolerate before ending a relationship permanently.
Final point - if disrespect has got to the point that a woman has cheated on you sexually - she can NEVER go back to seeing you as alpha in a relationship. You will always be seen as inferior to the man she cheated on you with.
reacting to a sh*t test like its disrespect will LOWER attraction (eg if you try to display value - it will look needy, call her out on it - it will look try hard or withdraw your pursuit - it will look weak). reacting to disrespect like a sh*t test (eg being funny, ignoring it etc) will look weak and unmascone
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