Sh*t, I think I have a mild infatuation

[SteR]

I'm supposed to be meeting up with some friends this weekend and some chick I'm after is gonna be there. I haven't seen her in a few weeks but since then, I haven't been able to keep my damn mind of this girl. It's ridiculous.. I'm well aware that I've only met her a few times and haven't fully qualified her, yet I can't get her out of my head.

I learnt all about oneitis the hard way when I was a kid and since then have never had any trouble avoiding it.. however this girl has somehow breached my defenses. I wouldn't say I have oneitis actually.. just a mild infatuation.

Any tips on making sure this doesn't mess with my head come the weekend? I've been trying as hard as I can to occupy my mind but it's extremely difficult.

I've gotta seal the deal this weekend and it's going to be very difficult if I can't neutralise these butterflies in my stomach.. argh.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear SteAr,
Go immediately to a darkened room,put a wet cloth on your forehead and lie down,the fever will pass.

 

[squirrels]

Dating other girls ("plate-spinning") helps.

Other than that...remember that the future is unwritten and isn't important. Focus on the PRESENT and having FUN with this girl NOW, not what you're going to do to keep her around months or years from now.

 

[SteR]

Dating other girls ("plate-spinning") helps.

Other than that...remember that the future is unwritten and isn't important. Focus on the PRESENT and having FUN with this girl NOW, not what you're going to do to keep her around months or years from now.

Tried this.. the problem is the other women are so ****ty in comparison, haha. I haven't put this girl on a pedestal.. it just happens to be one of those times in my life where a girl has come along that's ticked several of my boxes and I don't want to blow this :nervous:

But I agree with what you're saying. I think it's worse when I'm day-dreaming at work (like now). When I'm actually face to face and had a beer or two I'm *hoping* I'll be in the moment and doing what I need to do.

Wish me luck, urgh

 

[IndianaJoneS]

What's the problem with beeing in love ? Just be a man. Try to enjoy the feeling of beeing in love instead of fighting them.

Does Rocky care about beeing in love with Adrian ? No, he wants, approaches and conquers her.

 

[SteR]

What's the problem with beeing in love ? Just be a man. Try to enjoy the feeling of beeing in love instead of fighting them.

Does Rocky care about beeing in love with Adrian ? No, he wants, approaches and conquers her.

But it's not love.. it's infatuation. Logically I know that my brain is just being flooded with chemicals that make me desire this woman intensely. The problem is that it fks with my game. I need to stifle it/keep it under control so I can get this girl..

I've no problem letting these chemicals flow once I know I've got her under my spell, but until then I feel like I'm putting myself in a situation where I can get "hurt"

 

[zekko]

Guys here will call you a pvssy for catching feelings, but hey it's part of life.
It's best not to feed into these feelings though, generally speaking.
These feelings can be a great motivator, or they can make you awkward and AFC. Be masculine.

 

[jophil28]

Guys here will call you a pvssy for catching feelings, but hey it's part of life.
It's best not to feed into these feelings though, generally speaking.
These feelings can be a great motivator, or they can make you awkward and AFC. Be masculine.

Agreed. Catching feelings for a new woman is damn fine fun. What you do with your feelings determines whether the whole experience turns out well or not.
I believe that the Buddhists believe that ," Attachment is the cause of all suffering." Well, they have it sort of half right, as usual .
Attachment per se is not the problem. However attachment to a person who is toxic, disordered or destructive certainly is.
Poor choices or perpetuating bad decisions create our downfall, not attachments .

Go ahead and explore your feelings for this woman and allow your emotions free expression , BUT do so with caution and a committment to yourself to walk away should she reveal herself to be less than you want.

 

[vatoloco]

It's okay to have strong feelings. It's normal as we're human beings. What's not okay is to act impulsively upon them, especially when it comes to women...

 

[IndianaJoneS]

I think, when your life is in balance, and yourself are your own primary source of fun, then you will most likely act in a positive way to your feelings (not putting her on a super high pedestal, calling her 10 times a day, having fear etc.)

 

[f283000]

Do you have this girl's number? I personally do not allow myself to get into "hangout" situations with a female i'm romantically interested in + other people.

It's either us 2 on a date or nothing for me.

 

[logic1]

yelp, oneitis

 

[SteR]

Do you have this girl's number? I personally do not allow myself to get into "hangout" situations with a female i'm romantically interested in + other people.

It's either us 2 on a date or nothing for me.

Nope, don't have her number. She only split up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago apparently (last time I saw her was just before this happened).

I'm planning on getting it when I see her this weekend.

I realise this is completely ridiculous as I hardly know this girl.. yet for some reason my mind keeps wandering to her.

And logic1, I wouldn't say this is oneitis... I don't think this girl is better than me - on the contrary I honestly believe I'm higher value. The problem is that it's rare that I meet girls that I think are "worthy" so to speak, and I don't want to lose this one for whatever reason. I realise I don't know her properly yet but what I do know, I like.

I just hope I'm on form this weekend :nervous:

 

[jophil28]

Nope, don't have her number. She only split up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago apparently (last time I saw her was just before this happened).

I'm planning on getting it when I see her this weekend.

I realise this is completely ridiculous as I hardly know this girl.. yet for some reason my mind keeps wandering to her.
:

Beware of her rebound need for ego restoration and validation .

 

[SteR]

Hrmm, seems this girl is in popular demand.. she's already been on 3 dates in the last week. It's make or break this weekend guys - I gotta get her before she's snapped up.

Really need some words of encouragement right now... :nervous:

 

[SoldMySoul]

Hrmm, seems this girl is in popular demand.. she's already been on 3 dates in the last week. It's make or break this weekend guys - I gotta get her before she's snapped up.

Really need some words of encouragement right now... :nervous:

Well let's see. She has been on three dates and you would make number four, correct? The way I see it is you have a 25% chance being better than the other three. Sounds like you are developing a case of oneitis to me. I agree with others about there is nothing wrong with falling in love, but be careful is all I can really offer.

 

[SteR]

Well let's see. She has been on three dates and you would make number four, correct? The way I see it is you have a 25% chance being better than the other three. Sounds like you are developing a case of oneitis to me. I agree with others about there is nothing wrong with falling in love, but be careful is all I can really offer.

25%?? **** that.. I already know this girl is attracted to me - the last time I saw her I would've taken her right here and then if she didn't have a bf. I can get this girl.. I just have to be on form - that's what bothers me!

 

[SoldMySoul]

25%?? **** that.. I already know this girl is attracted to me - the last time I saw her I would've taken her right here and then if she didn't have a bf. I can get this girl.. I just have to be on form - that's what bothers me!

Okay then! Here is some solid advice for you. When around her stop concerning yourself with all the following: Are you behaving alpha enough; Are you being cool enough; Looking for all hints she is into you.

I have made those mistakes before and it really took away from the fun time I could have had. I personally need to keep all those things I mentioned to you in check too.

The 25% comment was my attempt at humor.

Dude, if she digs, then you are in there and there is little you could do to screw things up unless you totally get stupid.

 

[SteR]

Okay then! Here is some solid advice for you. When around her stop concerning yourself with all the following: Are you behaving alpha enough; Are you being cool enough; Looking for all hints she is into you.

I have made those mistakes before and it really took away from the fun time I could have had. I personally need to keep all those things I mentioned to you in check too.

The 25% comment was my attempt at humor.

Dude, if she digs, then you are in there and there is little you could do to screw things up unless you totally get stupid.

Ha, that's more like it! I need support! :cheer:

I'll report back next week

 

[jophil28]

Dude, if she digs, then you are in there and there is little you could do to screw things up unless you totally get stupid.

THis ^^

Most of you guys work way too hard . Your best asset is cool confidence and boldness.
Why get yourself into a panic state about IOI's, negs and all that "am I alpha enough " mythology.

IF a woman likes you she will forgive or overlook all manner of blunders because she wants to get to know you better.
If she does not like you, she will eject at the first flimsy opportunity.
All the PUA tips and tricks will never change how women operate.