Sex on first date

[Comatozed]

Recently I've noticed a bit of a pattern and I wanted to know if it was a sample size issue or a genuine thing.

But basically, girls i've slept with on the first night..it hasn't lead to anything long-term. Which is what I am after. I am told by the guys on here to not think about LTR and concentrate on trying to **** the girls and let them worry about that.

I feel like the girl may be A) a bit embarrassed and so will feel hesitant to continue knowing I know she did what she did or B) If i'm prepared to put up with a girl who slept with me first night then it says I have quite low standards/value and as such she'll lose attraction that way.

I'm not sure if those are genuine reasons or whether the girls just lose interest for other reasons. The sex has been ok, i imagine i could do better but its hard to get practise when its a series of ONS or only slightly more.

Do I stop sleeping with girls on the first night even when it's clearly on?

All thoughts welcome, ty.

 

[Masculinity]

Deleted post.

 

[bigneil]

Quality women who are good for LTRs won't sleep with you in the first date. If there doing it with you, think about what they've done in the past. If you want a good woman, approach some at a library, at church, or a place where these women would congregate. Party girls are at fraternity houses and night clubs. By the same token, good women are at book stores, volunteer camps, etc.

(Needle off record sound).

Robyn, what fantasy land are you living in? I've never met a girl in my life at a library (Shhh!) or church (Shhh Goddamn it!). And volunteer camps?? Please show us photos of these women you met at these places. Or are you trying to justify those fat girls with glasses you met?

I have had 10 girls sleep with me the day we met (the last being 4 days ago). One led to a 2 year relationship. The truth is, you want to have sex with them as fast as possible. Women have feelings AFTER sex. Strike when the iron is hot. Granted, you should proceed with caution, but I've dated strippers who ONLY kissed - for months. If I didn't know they were strippers, I'd think they were "nice girls". Girls who don't put out ALWAYS have issues - either with you or themselves.

 

[Dali_tx_o]

I respectfully disagree with Robyn923b.

I would like to share a story. It is something that comes back to me every so often.

Late in the evening, there was a girl telling her date that she is not like that and she doesn't sleep with guys on a first night as she was giving him a good-night kiss. A cute, petite brunette that rarely goes to clubs, and if she does, it is only because her friends made her. She doesn't drink much, and smokes only occasionally, whilst drinking coffee in the mornings. Says it makes her feel very vogue. Studies literature, loves reading in bed, and has a cute little cousin girl she loves more than anything in the world.
She used to be somewhat of a wallflower during her school years, and only when she moved away from her parents to study did she spring up - started to look more after herself, learned how to use subtle make-up and got that style where the girl just looks sexy, but not slutty.

Just five hours prior to kissing Kevin goodbye, this girl had my **** in her mouth.

Somewhere between the third and fourth date with the guy, she was lying in my bed, hair tousled, white linen sheets on her naked body, elbows propped under her chin, all giddy with a big smile on her face, telling me about "Kevin" again.
After few minutes of her spitting words excitedly, I asked her, nonchalantly:
"He sounds really cool, so why didn't you sleep with him yet?"
She frowned slightly, and thought for a second.
"Well, I can't sleep with two guys at once, it would be wrong. And I still like sex with you a lot, but you told me that you're not looking for anything serious, and I could really see this going somewhere with Kevin. He really likes me. Oooh, and did I tell you..."
"He sounds like a catch, and I'm happy you found someone you click with so well. If I were you, I wouldn't make him wait too long, because you might lose him"
She frowned a little bit again and gazed at a pillow. Few seconds of silence passed until she looked at me, lips now pursed. She then kissed me passionately and we had sex again. We got up, got dressed, shared a cigarette and coffee in my balcony, and I walked her to my flat door.

She paused before stepping outside.
"Bye, Liz"
"Bye, Dali"
She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.

Last I heard, Kevin and Liz were a very lovely couple.

Reality is sometimes more than one can imagine. Reality doesn't care what you would like it to be, it just is. Your "Quality girl"? She's just as human me or you. She breathes, she lives, she feels. She can be raunchy one second, and shy another. She can regret some things. She can go to clubs, although she prefers reading old dusty books, or she can be praying in church with her religious aunt, whilst secretly waiting until she can get loose again in the club with two of her best friends now that they all are single again. She is, and that is just that. She is, and she will never be something you would want her to be.

So at least I choose the girl that gives me herself on the very first night because I was what she wanted most. Not because she had someone else it wasn't working out with, not because she wasn't sure about me, not because she wanted to see if I will wait.

Only a girl that is head over heels, a girl that wants me with all her heart, that accepts me as I am, with all my faults and strengths, is a girl I could care for. And just to have a chance to be a girl like that, she couldn't resist my advances the first night I met her.

Because otherwise, otherwise I will always wonder if I am just something that she got with because she couldn't get what she really wanted.

 

[DragonBlood]

Because otherwise, otherwise I will always wonder if I am just something that she got with because she couldn't get what she really wanted.

Thats a double edge sword Dali because if you were what she really wanted why would she ever leave? It sounds like you were the bad boy that helped her feel wild, knowing she could break free whenever she wanted to pursue something more sustainable. If I was Kevin though, god I would feel gutted reading that post. I agree that woman simply "are" but on the other hand a part of me feels like both of you were played and she was in control of the whole situation. I will admit though this is a tricky subject.



Comatozed first date sex is high risk high reward. If you push too hard for it and it doesnt happen, theres a good chance you wont get a second date. But if you succeed, well A lot of it comes down to her interest in you on the day, but if your unsure about it go for a kiss close MINIMUM on the first date. Push as hard as she will let you go without making her feel slutty or forced, show patience and aloofness with LMR and you will do fine. You will already be light years ahead of the competition (in her mind) anyway.

 

[Comatozed]

I went out with a girl last friday and slept with her, but i didn't feel like that was me running good game, more she was just up for it and so long as i didn't completely spog the date, it was on.

I would like to see her again. How would you guys go about this? I've not spoken to her since. My options are to text her either tmr or tues(?) and then am I better off trying to strike up a convo or just go straight ahead with a date proposal?

This girl moves to uni soon so not thinking long term here fwiw. Not sure what page she's on but i guess i'll find out when i ask her out.

 

[Tictac]

Uh, call her up and ask her out.

This isn't rocket science.

 

[Dali_tx_o]

Thats a double edge sword Dali because if you were what she really wanted why would she ever leave? It sounds like you were the bad boy that helped her feel wild, knowing she could break free whenever she wanted to pursue something more sustainable. If I was Kevin though, god I would feel gutted reading that post. I agree that woman simply "are" but on the other hand a part of me feels like both of you were played and she was in control of the whole situation. I will admit though this is a tricky subject.

I was the bad boy, the secret lover that was an escape for her. I left out some bits from the story because it wasn't important. "Liz" wanted more with me, she tried and tried to get me more involved, to go on "dates" with her, she even tricked me into meeting her cousin. Yet I told her that all I can be is the guy "in-between" the real guys, and didn't budge.

Was I played? Well, I wanted some no-strings attached sex, and perhaps someone to spend some time on weekend mornings (an escape for me, if you will), but nothing else. I did not want to "keep" her, and she wasn't something perfect that I could see myself growing old with. I knew full well it won't last, and it didn't. Right on the clock, three months in, she moved on to Kevin. So, I've got what I wanted, and I moved on to another girl afterwards. I will never know for sure what she really wanted. Was I played? Did she get played? It doesn't matter that much.

I think once you've seen this side of women, you don't really have a choice. The only way to have a piece of mind IS being the bad-boy lover, not being.

Thats a double edge sword Dali because if you were what she really wanted why would she ever leave?

And coming back to this - the next girl I was in a similar situation with... She never left. I've did everything pretty much the same, the in-between guy shtick, meet no more than three times a month, sleep with other girls...

And she was OK with all that. Two months in, another "Kevin" came to her life, and she chose to stay with me. That guy was everything so much more than me on paper. I'm a curious person, so I remember doing some digging and getting access to this girls messages; If you could read what girls discuss with each other... mind-blowing. And although it did sting me knowing she was considering another option... That's life. Her life, actually, and she had a comfortable life with a millionaire on one side of the coin, and me on the other. In her shoes, I would have chosen the millionaire.

Girls are, however, odd things. Few of her messages to her friends made me realize, how important is tight game.

<...discussing her current situation...>
"I think I'm falling for M. I know that he would love me a lot, and I have no guarantees with Dali"
"Girl, we haven't spoken since, but I remember how I've met him. Dali's SUCH a damn good player, and you know it! And M's got his own YACHT!"
"Yeah, but I think he's slowly falling for me. I think I saw him catch himself fall out of the line a few times"
"Well, I don't think Dali is trustworthy. Just enjoy him for now, feel free, but move on to M"
"Yeah, i can't really trust him either. But it's like I'm slowly carving through his armor, and I think I can get to him"
"Be careful, girl! Oh, and..."
<... topic goes to shoes, gossip and other woman-things ...>

And heck, you could see how much she wanted me. After spending a night, I'd tell her that I'm planning to clean up my place and work for a couple of hours before leaving to another town, so she'd clean my place for me while I do my work so she'd get another hour with me. I had lost my cooking knives (boring house moving story), so she'd bring a nice expensive chef knife wrapped up as a gift one evening. I'd tell her I'm in another town for a weekend, and she'd ask me if she can drive over to see me. I'd go out with my friends, and she'd call me in the morning, bring me fresh coffee to bed and jump my hungover bones.

Five months in, I found myself getting attached to her. I knew that I was giving a little bit more to her - I'd spend whole weekends with her, we'd meet for a coffee during the week, I let her meet some of my friends and so on. She confessed she had an "emotional affair" with this other guy. She spared me the details, but actually honestly admitted everything I've read myself. I told her point blank that she's an idiot for staying with me, and she should have moved on. And she still stayed.

It's been around a year since I've started sleeping with the girl. Since April or March, we're "together" - and although she doesn't like it much, she accepts that I sleep with other girls on the side. To keep me from straying, she simply tries harder to please me. Heck, she still ****-tests herself - just this Saturday, as we're driving to get some breakfast at A place (which she suggested):

"Actually, maybe we should go to B place"
Just before I'm about to call her out and tell her that we will go get some cat-burgers from a dodgy side-cart, she quickly corrects herself:
"Uh, actually, you shouldn't always listen to me. I should stop doing this, and I know I should try harder to catch myself before spouting this stuff. Sorry. I like both places, and I'm happy to go to either one."

I guess you could say I am getting played by this girl. And I have to admit, I enjoy every moment of it.

This isn't meant to be some sort of a brag story. What I want to get to, is that if you chose to be "Kevin", you lose. My current girl - she ain't perfect either, and I know full well she can just grow cold and move on one day. But if you want to have a peace of mind... just sleep with her on the first night, and keep only those girls that are worth keeping. If they don't stay around - be damn happy about it! You just saved yourself time with someone who didn't really want you that much anyway!

I didn't want a girlfriend, and I've got one that I could see myself growing old with. I consider leaving this girl pretty much daily, because I enjoy solitude, but I can't find any good reason. Irony of life, eh?

 

[zinc4]

I was the bad boy, the secret lover that was an escape for her. I left out some bits from the story because it wasn't important. "Liz" wanted more with me, she tried and tried to get me more involved, to go on "dates" with her, she even tricked me into meeting her cousin. Yet I told her that all I can be is the guy "in-between" the real guys, and didn't budge.

Was I played? Well, I wanted some no-strings attached sex, and perhaps someone to spend some time on weekend mornings (an escape for me, if you will), but nothing else. I did not want to "keep" her, and she wasn't something perfect that I could see myself growing old with. I knew full well it won't last, and it didn't. Right on the clock, three months in, she moved on to Kevin. So, I've got what I wanted, and I moved on to another girl afterwards. I will never know for sure what she really wanted. Was I played? Did she get played? It doesn't matter that much.

I think once you've seen this side of women, you don't really have a choice. The only way to have a piece of mind IS being the bad-boy lover, not being.




And coming back to this - the next girl I was in a similar situation with... She never left. I've did everything pretty much the same, the in-between guy shtick, meet no more than three times a month, sleep with other girls...

And she was OK with all that. Two months in, another "Kevin" came to her life, and she chose to stay with me. That guy was everything so much more than me on paper. I'm a curious person, so I remember doing some digging and getting access to this girls messages; If you could read what girls discuss with each other... mind-blowing. And although it did sting me knowing she was considering another option... That's life. Her life, actually, and she had a comfortable life with a millionaire on one side of the coin, and me on the other. In her shoes, I would have chosen the millionaire.

Girls are, however, odd things. Few of her messages to her friends made me realize, how important is tight game.

<...discussing her current situation...>
"I think I'm falling for M. I know that he would love me a lot, and I have no guarantees with Dali"
"Girl, we haven't spoken since, but I remember how I've met him. Dali's SUCH a damn good player, and you know it! And M's got his own YACHT!"
"Yeah, but I think he's slowly falling for me. I think I saw him catch himself fall out of the line a few times"
"Well, I don't think Dali is trustworthy. Just enjoy him for now, feel free, but move on to M"
"Yeah, i can't really trust him either. But it's like I'm slowly carving through his armor, and I think I can get to him"
"Be careful, girl! Oh, and..."
<... topic goes to shoes, gossip and other woman-things ...>

And heck, you could see how much she wanted me. After spending a night, I'd tell her that I'm planning to clean up my place and work for a couple of hours before leaving to another town, so she'd clean my place for me while I do my work so she'd get another hour with me. I had lost my cooking knives (boring house moving story), so she'd bring a nice expensive chef knife wrapped up as a gift one evening. I'd tell her I'm in another town for a weekend, and she'd ask me if she can drive over to see me. I'd go out with my friends, and she'd call me in the morning, bring me fresh coffee to bed and jump my hungover bones.

Five months in, I found myself getting attached to her. I knew that I was giving a little bit more to her - I'd spend whole weekends with her, we'd meet for a coffee during the week, I let her meet some of my friends and so on. She confessed she had an "emotional affair" with this other guy. She spared me the details, but actually honestly admitted everything I've read myself. I told her point blank that she's an idiot for staying with me, and she should have moved on. And she still stayed.

It's been around a year since I've started sleeping with the girl. Since April or March, we're "together" - and although she doesn't like it much, she accepts that I sleep with other girls on the side. To keep me from straying, she simply tries harder to please me. Heck, she still ****-tests herself - just this Saturday, as we're driving to get some breakfast at A place (which she suggested):

"Actually, maybe we should go to B place"
Just before I'm about to call her out and tell her that we will go get some cat-burgers from a dodgy side-cart, she quickly corrects herself:
"Uh, actually, you shouldn't always listen to me. I should stop doing this, and I know I should try harder to catch myself before spouting this stuff. Sorry. I like both places, and I'm happy to go to either one."

I guess you could say I am getting played by this girl. And I have to admit, I enjoy every moment of it.

This isn't meant to be some sort of a brag story. What I want to get to, is that if you chose to be "Kevin", you lose. My current girl - she ain't perfect either, and I know full well she can just grow cold and move on one day. But if you want to have a peace of mind... just sleep with her on the first night, and keep only those girls that are worth keeping. If they don't stay around - be damn happy about it! You just saved yourself time with someone who didn't really want you that much anyway!

I didn't want a girlfriend, and I've got one that I could see myself growing old with. I consider leaving this girl pretty much daily, because I enjoy solitude, but I can't find any good reason. Irony of life, eh?

The irony of this is such a low self respect ing woman like her will turn in you quickly once u do take her seriously because deep down she thinks of herself as garbage abd you will become equally garbage once u take her seriously.... seen it happen a million times...thete are plenty of women that have real self respect abd never tolerate such treatment even if they really like the guy...keep doing what Ur doing Dali...this one isn't relationship material though. I could never seriously consider someone that lets me **** on the side for a whole year while trying to be with me....my **** would permanently go limp by her. I use to pull the sane schit as well and caught ones like this....never ever considered them fir anything more though. A real challenge is always much more exciting.

 

[DragonBlood]

I left out some bits from the story because it wasn't important. "Liz" wanted more with me, she tried and tried to get me more involved, to go on "dates" with her, she even tricked me into meeting her cousin. Yet I told her that all I can be is the guy "in-between" the real guys, and didn't budge.

Cool.

Interesting text insights btw! So girls dont trust players and advise their star struck friends to move away. Thats a shame. Be everything you can to be attractive to girls and they still dont want you!

 

[Krueg]

To simply put, YES! Other EX's that started out with sex eventually ended after 1-2years tops - In my experience.. They also had baggage; Daddy issues, been raped, abused, slept with lots of guys, had low self esteem at one point...

RRRRUUUUUUNNNNNN AAAAAWWWWWAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!

Only chase/approach women who interest you, be weary of the desperate girls/hors! Who hit on you!

Go after the shy ones!