Sex in LTR's

[SoSuaveDJ123]

Obviously, if you're in a LTR and sex is scarce, you can't go out and **** other chicks. Cheating is out of the equation. So what to do when she's not putting out?

I think it was Shark who once said that after a while, girls don't really need/want sex anymore because they're content in a relationship.
That naturally, guys want to **** everything that moves but once girls become content, they don't want to do it as often.

My girl is smoking hot to me, and the first 4 years we ****ed like rabbits. Nowadays it's like 1-2 times a month, because we're both so busy all the time and don't live together. Even then, if she REALLY wanted to, she could make time.

If I bring it up, she kind of gets annoyed and tells me to relax and that she's tired or busy. She doesn't hang out with other guys. But if I DONT bring it up, for example if I just ignore everything sexual, she does too Nd then we simply.....don't have sex. And because we do it so little, the 1-2 times a month she initiates sex, im sure as hell not glnna turn it down because its so rare. so she pretty much controls sex in the LTR. Catch 22 here.

Shark said the key to reverse this is competition anxiety, to make her feel like she HAS to give you sex or else she risks losing you. But I don't know where to go from here man. Anyone else been in my shoes?

 

[seethehoop]

Yeah I've been here and I got to a situation where I looked at my wife and didn't find her attractive any more, this was as a result of her low sex drive. However she is not to blame I am. I allowed her sex drive to ebb away, I didn't take care of business my end. She is a beautiful and amazing woman but I'm no longer attracted to her. We are getting divorced now, its sad but I felt I had to let her go and walk away before it lead us both down a path of resentment. I've seen that happen too many times.

 

[SgtSplacker]

In an LTR I always try to establish a slick way to ask for sex without really asking for sex...?

Does that make sense?

For example I usually ask for sex by saying "lets go lay for a bit" then going to bed with her.

She knows this means sex, but it's not really like you are asking for it. It's just a way for you to tell her you require some intimacy. You don't have to have sex, but that's what usually happens. If she is tired you just lay down, spoon for a bit maybe take a nap. Then do the deed when you wake if things go well.

This is doubly good because in the case where the romance is failing, repeated rejections of this kind of request really demonstrate that things are going down the tubes. Because not only is she rejecting sex but she is rejecting intimacy with you. Not only that but sex carries with it some anxieties sometimes, if you just request to lay or something similar it doesn't trigger all the anxiety associated with just sex. And you two can just get down to some good old fashioned spontaneous sex.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There's a lot of comments here about the same problem:
http://www.nerve.com/advice/please-advise-my-girlfriends-sex-drive-disappeared

Birth control seems to be a common issue. She can try switching what she takes. Hormones control sex drive, and it makes sense that a hormonal drug like birth control would mess with them. It tricks the woman's body into thinking it's pregnant and thus from a biological perspective, sex would be pointless. One comment talked about a "copper iud" that is a non-hormonal form of birth control. Anti-depressants and other medication can also interfere with her hormones.

Her problem might be chemical and not really her fault, but at the same time, she should care enough about your needs to at least put effort into fixing the problem. Anger, denial, and resentment are not going to get either one of you anywhere. If she won't try to get better, then that is the time for you to leave the relationship, before you end up stuck in a miserable sexless marriage.

 

[Desire]

Here is a lot of interesting info about sexual relationships:

http://www.reuniting.info/science/why_does_the_honeymoon_end_kiecolt-glaser_newlywed_study


:cheer:

 

[naturalplayer_]

Competion anxiety. Flirt with other women. Gym, waitress, cashier at Walmart. Any women you encounter basically. Just make them laugh. This will trigger some jalousy and women are really turned on by it.

Be in better shape then her, always. Its much easier for is to stay fit. Buy clothing, look attractive. Other women will look at you and this will trigger some competition anxiety also.

This one is a killer. Have one of your friend text you very late at night with something like " I wanna talk... I miss you..." And change his name in your contact list to one of your Ex. Make sure she notice. Go in the bathroom while your cell is on the table in the living room. She will know you have options and will give you crazy sex and make sure you balls stay empty when you leave thr house!

 

[Down Low]

So she's 5 or more years older than when you first met her. Her libido will continue to decline -- but at an accelerated rate as she ages.

Dump her and get one even younger than she was when you first met her.

 

[Slickster]

Competion anxiety. Flirt with other women. Gym, waitress, cashier at Walmart. Any women you encounter basically. Just make them laugh. This will trigger some jalousy and women are really turned on by it.

Be in better shape then her, always. Its much easier for is to stay fit. Buy clothing, look attractive. Other women will look at you and this will trigger some competition anxiety .....

Yep!