Sex Conflict with Girl

[Beckwith]

Hey guys, been awhile since I posted. I'm currently in satisfying longterm relationship with a girl. We're both in college and I've been dating her exclusively for a couple months now. We were having sex before we got exclusive however, so our history there is alittle longer.

At anyrate, here's my problem. My girlfriend is a very big advocate of safe sex, which I think is great. Not enough people take it seriously enough. She is currently on Depo-Provera, a form of birth control, and has been since before she met me. For those of you who don't know, Depo is pretty much the safest form of birth control out there. The girl gets a shot 4x a year by an appointment with a doctor. There no pills or anything else to screwup, and its effectiveness rate 99.7%. It's much safer than the pill and infinitely more safe than a condom. So basically if you take birth control seriously, its the way to go. (It also cuts PMS down to once every three months; YES!)

Here's my problem. In addition to being on Depo, my girl wants me to wear a condom when we have sex, just to be extra extra safe. Now at first this didn't bother me, but now it's starting to. We've had sex quite a few times without a condom, and my peni$ has really enjoyed. Everytime we did I pulled out before I came, again trying to play it extra safe. However, we generally still use a condom.

Now both of us our absolutely clean when it comes to STD's and we have a very trusting relationship, so that's not a problem. It's just that she wants that added protection of Depo and a condom for birth control. But now, quite often when I put on a condom I lose my erection. It's less pleasurable and at the same time when she asks me to it just kinda of kills the mood. Latex also tends to dry her out faster, so I often have to get some lube. I'd be happy having sex with her without a condom and still pulling out before I came. I know that's not as safe as with a condom but I've really started to view condoms as an uneeded hassle since she's on Depo. I guess my peni$ is spoiled now that we've done the deed without a condom before.

I understand and respect my girl's desire for saftey, and the fact is I don't want her getting pregnant either. Yet at the same time, I find myself annoyed by this situation still. I told her that I guess we'll just have to go back to having sex with condoms all the time, since using them only part of the time f*cks me up when we do use them. I really don't want to do this, but I feel like I don't have much of a choice. Do you guys think it's inappropriate to ask her if we can just forgoe condoms all together, or should I just bite the bullet and wear them all the time? Am I being to selfish here? Feedback would be appreciated!

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

There is no FRIGGIN CHANCE IN HELL that she'll get pregnant if she gets those shots or use the pill...

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
There is no FRIGGIN CHANCE IN HELL that she'll get pregnant if she gets those shots or use the pill...

You are naive and need to do more research. Only abstience is 100% safe. Before I get flamed, no chance in hell am I a virgin, but I always use a wrapper before I tap her.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

If you are going to worry about the 0.00001% chance there is of her getting pregnant you might as well chop of your **** and go into a monestary.

 

[Beckwith]

Any other thoughts?

Any other thoughts and perhaps suggestions on what to do?

 

[Porky]

I think she should respect your feelings on the matter. If you pull out you aren't completely getting rid of the chance that she'll get pregnant, but you do reduce it. Add that to the 99.7% effectiveness of Depo-Provera and I can't see her getting pregnant.

 

[Big Pappy]

Instead of Latex, try sheepskin.

Also, I recall the pill being touted as 99% effective. Heck, you break down the stats, that means if you go at it 2 times a week, you'll end up with 1 kid every year.

There is no such thing as no chance. Sure the odds are remote; but it's always possible. I would think that she is trying to encourage you to marry her, so that it would be okay if she got pregnant. That is, of course, just the first thought that popped in my head; certainly I could and probably am wrong.

 

[iqqi]

its a bummer, but it is her choice. you could also choose not to stay with her, if she is unwilling to compromise. this is something that will test your relationship for sure.

 

[NewMan]

Sorry.

I understand totally where you are coming from.

It's my belief that Not wearing a rubber is one of the great pleasures of having a monogomos(sp) LTR with a woman.

I think it's very important part of the relationship - because you have to ask yourself do want to wear a rubber for the rest of your life?

Let's assume you get married have your 2.2 kids - then you wear a rubber again?

I'd talk to her and bring up how important this is to you - and tell her that it's not something your prepared to do for the rest of your life.

 

[Walden]

See if she'll let you do her in the a55.



























Hell , see if she'll let ME do her in the a55

 

[DJZ]

My ex was on the pill for the last 2.5 years we dated. When she first got on it, I was pretty excited about it, and about 10 times I blew my load inside her. After my buddies started telling me she could still get pregnant, I started using a condom, except when it was 1 week after her period. However, directly after her period and for 7 days following it, I never used a condom. Eventually I stopped using condoms with her all-together, but just used the pull out method. She never got pregnant in 2.5 years of banging. For some reason she liked it better if I didn't use a jimmy.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Just a thought, but how about getting her to use a femidom? Don't know if they still make them, but this is a female condom, - basically a big plastic bag inserted by the woman.

From what I've heard they 'kill the mood' even more than a condom, and it might be a good way of showing your girlfriend how annoying barrier methods can be.

I really can't see what she's worried about - you're combining two methods of contraception (ok so coitus interruptus is not really a contraception but it's better than nothing) and even if there WAS a failure what are the chances of it happening in a fertile period - women can't get pregnant EVERY time they have sex unless you both are exceptionally fertile.

 

[Frank Zappa]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
If you are going to worry about the 0.00001% chance there is of her getting pregnant you might as well chop of your **** and go into a monestary.

The only reason why they can't say 100% is because nobody can say 100%. For instance for the pill the .03% chance is left to the idiots who don't use it right... Kind of like that lady who put contraceptive jelly on her bread and wondered why it didn't work. I dated a girl on depo and blew my load in her every time for 3 years. Nothing ever happened. ~Zappa

 

[Ice Cold]

Also, I recall the pill being touted as 99% effective. Heck, you break down the stats, that means if you go at it 2 times a week, you'll end up with 1 kid every year.

No, it means only one woman in a 100 who uses only a particuar method of birth control is getting pregnant a year.

Use the condom - what if she bangs some other dude? Use it for stds.

 

[b's nuts]

my girl is on the pill, and would still always try to get me to wear a rubber, but like half way through, i would just be like, listen, i can't feel **** with this, and just whip it off, heat of the moment, they never want to just stop, eventually she will forget about the rubber cuz you are just going to pull it off anyways.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

I've never met a girl that wanted me to use a rubber, I'm so happy. Only used it a couple of times when some girls forgot the pill etc...

You do know that her periods are not important and that you can still get pregnant even though it's in the sone?

 

[So pimp its scary]

As far as I've been informed, the 99.7% just means that of all the people that use correctly, 3 out of 1000 people per year get pregnant...

In that case, condoms are there to prevent STD's NOT pregnancy.

Also, if your having sex without a condom, you do realize that you do let some precum out, that could get her pregnant all the same... although a lot less likely.

Just try talking to her about it...

 

[DJ Logic]

i was in a LTR for 4 years and we never used condoms.

Pullout method worked like a charm. I do have great self control though...

who knows, maybe my little swimmers are lazy! LOL!

 

[golf299]

well, here's the answer to your question: as one poster said before, only abstinence is 100% effective.

i understand its a real "bother" and "annoyance" for you to simply put on a condom....however, how annoyed will you be when you have to wake up at 2am to change a diaper?

be smart man, she is.

 

[chlywly]

Well I used to blow into my ex all the time she was on depo, without probs. but I dont recommend doing that either way.