Sex Addiction

[Sanity_Cleaver]

Hey guys

I've just come to the realization my whole life i have been suffering from sex addiction.
I couldnt find any other threads about it, so if figured i'd post something up about it myself.

It's only hit me, recently, and i'm still having trouble coming to terms with it.

I masturbate compulsively. I watch far too much porn. I sleep with women i am repulsed by. I even get it on with other guys despite being completely heterosexual.
And i do all these things without actually wanting to.

Its quite destructive, and i feel its impacted my life far more than i'd ever thought it had.
Almost my whole life to this point has been one long search for sex. I had my first experience- willingly- when i was 9.
My time and efforts these long years have been spent actively seeking a partner, or busy pleasuring myself. I feel my energy and focus could have been spent in a much more productive fashion- doing things i really want to do- instead of trying to fill this bottomless hole inside of me. I feel it has alientated me from my friends, family, society and even myself.

Hell- i dont even enjoy sex! I've only ever had meaningless sex without emotion or anything, be it with sluts or prostitutes or rubber dolls. I really just want a girl to love and be appreciated and intimate and special with, but whenever stuff like that happens i jsut manage to destroy it with my incessant sexual compulsions. Sometimes i feel like i lead a double life, as i never tell anyone about this, for the fear of the rejection and shame it'll lead to.

Naked female bodies used to be enough to get me going, but as times gone on my fantasies have become more and more extreme. Now i think about insane role-play group sex scenarios, and even that is beginning to lack. I'm honestly scared about what i will begin fantasizing about next. Every time i try to fill the hole it deepens and widens instead.

I DONT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!

I DONT want meaningless sex!

I DONT want to screw women i am not at all attracted to!

I DONT want to bang hookers!

I DONT want to get together with gay men just for the attention they give me!

I DONT want to look at porn anymore!

I DONT want to let women distract me from everything i do!

I DONT want to spend any more time or money looking for sex online!

I DONT want to spend any more money on sex toys!

I DONT want to open a newspaper and flip to the personals section first!

I DONT want to hurt women i actually care about!

I DONT want to ruin any more careers!

And I ESPECIALLY want to stop this incessant masturbating! I dont think i've truly enjoyed a wank for years.

I DONT WANT THIS EVIL, EVIL CONDITION TO PLAGUE ME ANY LONGER!

Those who dont have it probably dont know what i'm talking about. I honestly wish i was addicted to cocaine or something else instead.

Guys- this isnt a troll post of any sort. This is an honest, serious, heartfelt plea for help.
I've already looked into SAA meetings and such, but i dont want to go because they are heavily centred in Christianity- i believe in spirituality, but i want nothing to do with organized religion, especially that one.
I dont want to celibate myself either- i just want something more fulfilling, more intimate, more normal.
I dont want to abandon my sexuality, i just want to drag it back from its skewed, shunted development.

So i'm asking all you out there- if any of you have ever dealt with such a thing or experienced its symptoms, to plesae share your stories.

(And from some of the posts i've read here i'm pretty sure many of you are dealing with the same thing without even knowing about it)

And if you ever have dealt with this and overcome it, i would like to know how.

Anything anyone has to say here that could help me, i would love to hear.
I really could use a bit of help right now.

 

[Obsidian]

Damn. Well, your life sucks because you have embraced hedonism and abandoned morality. And yet you won't seek help because you can't stand Christian morality. Is there another type of morality/spirituality you would prefer?

This site is mainly about being more of a man, not fixing moral problems. Some of Pook's writings could probably help you a little, but you definitely need some real-life help also.

maybe just pay for a psychologist. Imo, your failure is a spiritual one rather than mental, but psychology could maybe help you anyway. You obviously need some kind of therapy.

 

[L777]

Mate, this is the wrong place. That sounds like a medical condition, you should see a doctor or psyciatrist. Good luck man.

 

[Fenderules]

yes, it is a medical condition, you are a sex addict, i cant remeber exactly what they call it.

You should see professonial help. Even if your against it, because you obvioulsy cant deal with it yourself. some kind of shrink that deals with this can help you out. They have group thearpy as well.

 

[Fenderules]

Hypersexuality is a desire for human sexual behavior at levels high enough to be considered clinically significant.

Hypersexuality is characterized by an impairing need for frequent genital stimulation that, when achieved, does not result in long-term emotional or sexual satisfaction. This dissatisfaction is what is believed to encourage the heightened frequency of sexual stimulation, as well as additional physiological and neurological symptoms.

The concept of hypersexuality replaces the older concepts of nymphomania (or furor uterinus) and satyriasis. Nymphomania was believed to be a psychological disorder characterized by an overactive libido and an obsession with sex. In males the disorder was called satyriasis (for etymology of the words, see nymph and satyr). "Nymphomania" and "satyriasis" are no longer listed as specific disorders in the DSM-IV.

The threshold for what constitutes hypersexuality is subject to debate, and critics question whether a standardized diagnostic threshold even exists. Sex drive varies widely in humans, and what one person would consider a "normal" sex drive might be considered excessive by some and low by others. The consensus among those who consider this a disorder is that the threshold is met when the behavior causes distress or impaired social functioning.

 

[Fenderules]

http://www.saa-recovery.org/

 

[I love Hyori Lee]

lol.

 

[Destiny17]

Dude, sounds like you need hobbies and to keep yourself busy. Make more friends and less **** buddies and spend less time watching porn. You have to understand that the opiates in your head are just a little reversed and they need time to get back to normal. This would happen to anyone participating in the activities you do as often as you do. So just chill out and exercise some willpower.

 

[Sanity_Cleaver]

Thanks guys, most of the stuff you've posted is a help

('lol' my arse Hyori Lee, i'd love to see you get it).

Special thanks to the guy who took the time to cut and paste the entire excerpt on Hypersexuality from Wikipedia. You'll make someone very happy one day.

And yes, i do have hobbies and non-benefits friends (more than benefits friends)- its just as you said after that, i need to keep myself busy. Sometimes the pull is so strong i simply cant help it. Thats why i posted all this in the first place, because i realize that behaviour isnt normal and thats why i wish to seek help.

But thanks anyway. I was all doom and gloom and despair yesterday, the kind of despair that makes you vent on an internet forum because you feel you have nowhere else to turn. But thats all diminished now, and i feel in myself the confidence and resolve to work through this, get over it, and grind it under my bootheel. I will become a much stronger person because of this.

And finally, i find it rather ironic i should post all this here, asking everyone for advice on how not to get laid.

 

[TruthHurts]

i dont think anything wrong with you... rock on... and you already solved your problems.. u have listed what you want, now just go about doing it... find yourself that girl and then join groupies with her find your other half its all good man...

 

[Fenderules]

good for you, and good luck!

 

[MacDiddy]

Why don't you seek to becoming a porn star... Enjoy the ride.

 

[MacDiddy]

And finally, i find it rather ironic i should post all this here, asking everyone for advice on how not to get laid.

Yes its very ironic you TROLL... stop wasting our time. If you genuinely need help, go tell your parents..

 

[Sanity_Cleaver]

I apologize if you are being genuine, but you REEK of troll. This is why:

Yeah i guess it looks that way, but it isnt. I am being genuine.

With the thing that happened when i was 9- i said sexual experience, not actual sex. It wasnt until 10 years later that i lost my virginity. That said, it still impacted me quite a lot being so young.

And the story from maccas, yeah thats true sadly. I was about 16 or 17 i think- not sure. Just because im a sex addict doesnt mean i couldnt have spent most of my life as an AFC.

So yeah- apology accepted.

-------------------

If theres anyone else out there who shares the same problem, or feel that they do, there is help out there.
If you feel you may have it, theres plenty of checklists available at saa.com or sexaholics.com- but by far the best resource i have found after searching far and wide would have to be www.recoverynation.com. It has oodles of information on the topic, and offers up a psychologically endorsed treatment plan for people of any religious background (none of that 12-step crud). And best of all, its ENTIRELY FREE

So thanks to those who showed their support, especially the ones who PM'ed me about it. It really does mean a lot, so thanks guys.

As for any doubters, thinking im just trolling for attention, sorry- im the real thing. If i was trolling for attention, i'd be in some sleazy bar or sex shop, certainly not here.

So dont bother replying to this thread. I wont be returning to it again.