setting the books straight

[check_mate_kid_uk]

so they tell you be a challange, girls love a challange.

well tell me why my freind that is a complete challange does not have any girls?

it is because its not enough, i just heared people talking about how thats so important, but my freind, sure hes a chalange but thats the only quality he does have, hes anti social, insecure and that will not get girls.

girls will only go after the challange if its worth going for, but i have ot set the books straight, sure, you MUST NOT chase her day and night, but being a chalange from the start is BS 98% of the time.

this is because she is not going to chase you unless she really really likes you, and do not tell me oh we can make her love us like that from the start because most of us will never get like that. So you must persure to show her what you got to offer.

so stop being a challange, only become 1 if she really really likes you. you can still use ganji games or what ever it is called but do not expect her to approch you from the start.

now once she really likes you, you can start to be more of a challange but untill then, although you can not be desprate and you should show off your social proof, you can not be a challange because she will rearly chase.

you have to get her to like you loads before you can be a challange, which means you can not be a challange untill later on.

imagine you have to tow a caravan with your car, if you try and drive off before you attach it to the car, it is not going to go with the car, but once you attach it then it will go.

very few of us could get a girl to like us enough from the start (on a regular basis ie with most girls) to be a chllange form the start, so you need to not be a chllange for quite a while, and then you can let her chase you once shes hooked on you.

so to go through the key point, do not think that by being a chllange that girl is going to chase you because you have not showed her what shes suposed to be chasing, which is why you must persue her at first to show her what you got and then you can let her chase for it.

 

[seize_the_pattern]

I appreciate your critiscism on the challenge thing. Id like a little more specifics on your interpretation of "challenge" though.

Look if you are in particular situation and you're just sitting there with all your body language stuff going on and your slow movements, then you are right. It is not very likely that women are going to run up to you and ask whats up with all that unreachable you-ness.

Thing is a lot of times it is about you Initiating the interaction, raising the chances of sparking the chemistry by being fun. NOT trying to have her like you because that has opposite FX.

So you better show your fun. Then its time to start your challenge thing by pulling back a little bit so you convey that your not jumping through hoops to get her approval (yes this is deangelo language, im not native english and this is where i learned these ideas so there you go,...)

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

yeah but at the end of the day you can not be a challange untill she really likes you and to get her to really like you, oyu have to persue at first, unless of course you can just hang around in the same group as her ans she sees your values, but at the end of the day my point is, you can not be a challange untill she has seen those values and really likes you for them.

 

[seize_the_pattern]

well yeah I guess we are pretty much talking about the same thing then.

If she's laughing and having fun with what you're saying you can pretty much tell she likes you... so... thats where you're already at when the day ends and ready to be doing some pulling back

 

[kel]

Good point Checkmate_Kid. Being a challenge from the start isn't being a challenge. its' being SHY

You have to hook her before you can reel her in. Being a challenge is good for amplifying chemistry, not for creating it to begin with. You never want to be EASY, but you dont want to start off as such a challenge that you're unapproachable.

 

[MackJr]

If you're impossible, you're not a challenge. Think about it. Learning to fly an airplane is a challenge. Sprouting wings and flying is not.

That's the whole basis of neg-hitting, by the way. The super-pretty women haven't been exposed to much challenge, so it intrigues them when someone's not fixated on them.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by MackJr
The super-pretty women haven't been exposed to much challenge, so it intrigues them when someone's not fixated on them.

you are saying this because thats what you have heared on the board, but its not true, the are plenty of guys that do not talk to them. The whole point with them is that if you play gangi games with them and show intrest with out kissing her a$$ then she will be more intrigued, but there is no way that by sitting back and bieng a challange from stage 1, that you will attract her through being a challange.

the hot girls are more intrigued if you do nto act like the other guys and are not a walk over but because many guys still do nto talk to them, by begin a challange you will still not acomplish anything.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Don't take this in the wrong way...

But some people have taken a simple concept of *get your own life* and twisted it to mean *be a challenge.*

Ever notice how marketing likes to spin bland, boring concepts, and make them excepting by pinning cool names and images?

The Army/Marines wasn't so cool until they used Godsmack music in their commercials and began displaying it as an *adventure* rather than a serious committment to warfare. But anyway, that's off topic.

Challenge IS NOTHING MORE THAN having your own life. If you have your own life with purpose, with intention, with goals and objectives, YOU CAN'T FAKE CHALLENGE, because you will be A CHALLENGE.

How so?

Because you're going somewhere she wants to be. She can see that. If there was just slight enough attraction to warrant coffee, tea, or drinks, and you're busy thereafter, legitamatly, then she can only sense you. I know this because it works first hand, and any guy with goals will say the same thing (will the real Jvesti please stand up).

If you spark interest, and keep to YOUR life, because it's YOUR LIFE, and she senses you're going somewhere as someone she can see and feel, she will INHERENTLY chase. Just as aspiring women desire power, glory, status, if they can see a man capable of such things, she will go with him. Why do you think they say:

"I want a man who's got shyt together and is going somewhere."

A man's core being is to be a driver, do things, manage things, make things happen. Control, create, build, do, see, act. There's not time for 100% thought, because we go go go.

In high school, you SHOULD BE DOING SOME SPORT. Yes, even if you're in the band, you should still adhere to taking care of your body. Why? Because you have a body. And on top of school, and exercise, and whatever interests, and friend you got, time will be tight enough. Add in a few other nuiances, and you'll be full.

In college, the same applies, except more work and perhaps a part-time job with on campus responsibilities. Here, women put out more because they're drunk, and horny more, they're watching friends get laid, and want a piece of the action. Pretty much all you have to do is take care of yourself, hang around with girls, and watch the pvssy flow.

In life, if by 18, you're not done living as a kid (you can be a kid, just accept responsibility), then you'll not touch any woman until your grey haired, or 10% bodyfat. Any guy in between that will need good PUA skills, as you'll resemble 90% of the guys at bars. No offense, but I got friends with OK jobs, and just because there's a nice car, very few girls, aside from true flakes, fall for a guy JUST OVER HIS CAR.

CHALLENGE = OWN LIFE.

Believe me, it's INFINITELY MORE POWERFUL when you have a life to lead and can vouch for it, than having to make shyt up on the fly. First, it wastes my time to do so. Second, it's a pathetic waste of MY LIFE to NOT DO WORTHWHILE THINGS.

*The only currency we have in life is time, and there's never enough of it.*

I met a girl while on a client visit, suited up. Got her number easy, a cute HB6, with a great butt. Very nice, dresses sexy. We've made out a few times. Due to my schedule, I can't possibly see her as often as she wants. I don't BS what I do or where I'm going and she'd bend anyway I desire to meet me half way.

In HS girls might enjoy more games, so just lay down more C&F and lay back. Be Playful. It's life, and you're still kid. You're always a kid with more responsibilities and women will always want to enjoy life and feel good. Remember, if she's not feeling good, odds are very good, you won't make you FEEL GOOD.

As you get older women want to see progress, but they still want fun, too. Nobody wants a boring career guy who's going to deter her other options; and you don't want to be some income producing machine churning out babies and then winding up 6 feet down, wishing you enjoyed the PROCESS more.

Stop twisting Challenge into something its not, which is the illusion that you're a worthy prize, when you're not. Challenge is NOT needed if you value yourself and your life enough to make yourself happy first. Dig deep down, this make sense. A girl who requires a certain date to meet you isn't in to the date, odds are she was chatting with friends today and wanted to go out and had an urge to go where SHE WANTS. It's your life, you do as you want, no regrets.





A-Unit

 

[Soma]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
you are saying this because thats what you have heared on the board, but its not true, the are plenty of guys that do not talk to them...

And you are doing practically the same thing with this post. You've thought about the issue but have little to zero REAL experience with women outside forced situations, such as the classroom. Yet, you STILL made a post as if you're an authority on the subject. As if you really understand what's going on. You don't.

This happens on every board, human nature that everyone wants to feel important. But it seems like a freakin epidemic on this board. Every newbie with a keyboard thinks he's qualified to give advice. The ultra newbies eat it up which feeds the ego of the regular newbie who then thinks he's got something important to say. So he then spouts off some more.

For YOU to call out the other dude about him saying something "just because he read it on this board" is silly.

Rant over.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

a unit and soma, i do not agree with what you say because i think that you have mixed up the message.

so i started to type up the argument in defense of my original statment, as i tried to show that i am right.

somthing suddenly struck me, WHY? for ages, i and many others defend our oppinions even if the topic is very trivial.

So i think to my self, what have i got to gain from doing this ie what is my incentive, and i realise it is to show that i am right.

I then realise im wasting my time proving to a bucnh of people i do not no, that i am right.

then i press the back button as i realise i do not want to defend my statment because it is totaly un-neccisery to do so.

you may think that a real man will defend his oppinion, and i can see why this is logical, i thought so to, but in actual fact no, the most liked people, the charismatic ones they ones every one likes, sure they will stand up for what they belive in but when you talk to them they will never argue with you over over a trivial point

(i think i may aswell also add that they never take the piss out of some one or make a joke about them behind there back, and i know this from observing those charismatic people that every one just loves to be around.)

 

[WesCottII]

If this works for you, great, i just want to post my 2 pennys.

You don't need all these techniques ; ganji games, C & F, be a challenge.

You know what you do need? Experience.

Talk to a girl, get to know her. Make it clear you're interested. Then ASK HER OUT. What good are ganji games? you're not showing how much of a great person you are, if you're avoiding her. If she likes you, she'll make it clear. Till then, cut the Bs.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by WesCottII
If this works for you, great, i just want to post my 2 pennys.

You don't need all these techniques ; ganji games, C & F, be a challenge.

You know what you do need? Experience.

Talk to a girl, get to know her. Make it clear you're interested. Then ASK HER OUT. What good are ganji games? you're not showing how much of a great person you are, if you're avoiding her. If she likes you, she'll make it clear. Till then, cut the Bs.

well i do see a lot of value in being C&F but you are 100% right that nothing is more important that practice and experince, you can read up as much as you want but there is simply no substitute for practice. if you do not practice you will not be able to implement what you know properly and its not a case of trying it out a few times, its a case of doing it a lot, i have been at the site since june, practicing since september and i am improving greatly, i have still got a way to go and i must say that before i started practicing, when i first started to try stuff out, even thou i hade been here for a while, the whole summer break, i was birtualy no better because i had not practiced, i had only read what i should do.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Wise of you, check_mate.

And you're right, a man wouldn't argue to defend himself. That's a disease of the ego, as if BEING wrong were some mortal sin.

However, let me point 1 thing out. I am 8 years older than you, done college nearly 3 years now. The life I create is a byproduct of the reality I seek to live. So do women chase? Sort of. They show mutual interest, which alot of guys don't get.

Then there's the lapdog girls, the ones' with no more of a life than work and shopping, who are looking for a man to give them validation. I know girls like this who date my friends. Sure, they're hot, but if you asked them what they like, or if they read, or whatever, it's work and shopping, awaiting the weekend. And that's ok. If they're fun to be around, no harm, no foul.

But each guy on this board will have ENTIRELY different viewpoints on dating, attraction, and seduction (if you do it). Why? We all lead very different lives, even if we're in the same state, same country, same body type, same nationality, and so forth.

So one size-fits-all this is not. But pick and choose what aspects of your life could benefit from the words on the board.

I come from an entirely differeny spot than many people do, in that, I feel, and experience, that if go to work on yourself and on your life, then your life will reward you. And thus far, mine has, each and every day. It isn't easy, but nothing you ever desire is going to be. I "invest" in my life, and in myself, with output in the form of rewards from women, work, the gym and so forth.


Gl on whatever you decide, and wise post for your age.




A-Unit

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

well A-unit after righting the post i did realise the fact that if you are in the same social circle as the girl and treat her like any other girl you will probably expose yourself to her, enough for her to like you, in this case your situation does all the aproching you need to do, for you.

but obviously if you just walk past her in school a few days you need to aptcoh her and talk to her, because she will not ussaly make the move if she does not know you, whcih she does not if you have never talked to her.

 

[Desdinova]

To put it simply, you cannot be a challenge if she's not competing against other women. Also, she won't wonder if you have other women if she has no clue you exist.

Give her attention, pull back. Give, pull back. This has worked well for me. When you pull back, go talk to other women.

 

[squirrels]

I don't think you get what it means to "be a challenge."

Unfortunately you're not alone in this regard.

 

[Hot Ice]

Hmmm...

One thing hurt my eye.

It is...


C H A L L E N G E

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by squirrels
I don't think you get what it means to "be a challenge."

Unfortunately you're not alone in this regard.

i know what it means, its to not be easy, to not be all over her, do not shower her with attention, just give her as much as you would with any one else in the same situation. It also includes having other girls available, not just the one.

 

[Hot Ice]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
i know what it means, its to not be easy, to not be all over her, do not shower her with attention, just give her as much as you would with any one else in the same situation. It also includes having other girls available, not just the one.

NAH, I think being a challenge means being a challenge. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[dentalfloss]

'challenge' escapes you in more than one way, apparently 'righting' is also a challenge for you