Setting her Straight

krakhed

Don Juan
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After reading posts on this board, one of the most common mistakes I've seen men make is to become the "consoling sap" or the "crying shoulder." Men instinctually try to fix things. "Maybe if I make her feel better she'll put her affections on me."

Wrong.

When a woman tries to use you as her crying shoulder, how do you react?

Anti-Dump has a zero tolerance policy. Any mention of another guy is a sign of total disinterest. I think this is a little extreme because I think women in general are stupider than AD does and I think they make plenty of dating mistakes too.

If a woman mentions another guy and pretends she wants your input she is either:

1. Being a self-indulgent user of your foolish good nature.
2. Simply exhibiting poor dating skills.

Whatever the reason, set her straight immediately. Try one of these or add to the list:

"I'm not the one to talk to about that sort of thing."
"Don't you have girlfriends you can talk to about this stuff?"
"Well, if you're so worried about that guy, maybe you should go find him."

These take some gonad but they at least keep you from making a jackass of yourself. It worked for me this weekend. I was with this hot Latina from out of town who started bellyaching about some guy and I dropped line number one on her and four hours later she was examining the spackle on my bedroom ceiling.

I feel if you simply take care of yourself, the estrogen will follow.

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In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.
 

Poet

Master Don Juan
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i think you should steer the convo away from those things or keep commnication open & tell her you don't really care to talk about other guys with her or whatever but if you say "don't you have girlfriends you can talk to.." you are telling her you are not open to her communications & women communicate. They might see you as closed or not open to talking? Just a thought...but women want to share their "feelings" on things..sucks but what can ya do? Take charge & keep the talk on subjects you feel comfortable with while letting her know she can talk to you about "things" at the same time. Just letting her talk at times will make her feel better, not necessarily trying to fix things but just being someone they can talk to....Poet

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Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.
 
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