Seriously, what the hell

[sanjimbo]

So there's a girl who I've known for a while, but it wasn't until recently that we really started talking a lot. Everything has been going pretty well.

With prom coming up in a couple months I decided to ask her last friday, so I do and she says yes. This put me in a relatively good mood.

Earlier today at the beginning of the class I have with her, when she gets to class she tells that she can't go with me because somebody else had already asked her the beginning of the school year. She says she thought he was joking when he asked and that she completely forgot it ever happened. Now when she told me this it seemed like she really was sorry and it seemed like she was telling the truth, but I wasn't sure if she was being honest. She asks me if it's ok and I replied with "Don't worry about it" and keeps asking "are you sure". When she asked if I was mad at her I said "I'm not happy about it".

After that it basically goes like this.

Her: I need to make this up to you. I'm doing something for my birthday two saturday from now do you want to go?
Me: I'm busy that day
Her: Uh, when's you're birthday
I tell her, but it's during the summer
Her: What about your half birthday
Me: It's already passed
Her: You're not making this easy. Are you sure you're busy on saturday?
Me: Yeah I am.

The way she said it seemed like she really was sorry.

I'm not busy on the day of her thing. I don't want to go because she feels pity. She really seemed to be sorry about it, but I don't if what she's saying is true. She could tell that I wasn't happy about it. She would keep talking to me during class about other things, but I wouldn't really reply and if I did it would only be a couple words.

I was about to tell her how I was really feeling, but I just decided against it. Before we parted ways she told me "I'm sorry if I pissed you off" she hugged me and that was that. To be honest I was a little pissed off and would have preferred that she had just said no in the first place assuming it's all BS.

Do you guys think that what she was saying was genuine and that she really did feel sorry? and I don't know if I handled it right. I'm thinking about talking to her about it tomorrow but don't know if I should.

 

[Pdizzzzzzle]

Man, you must be really patient if your only a little pissed off. I'd be furious. I think you handled it pretty well. Here's what I would recommend:

1) If she is genuinely sorry, and you know this (only you can tell not us) cut her off. I've found the best way to deal with girls who turfed you is to just stop dealing with them. Outta sight, outta mind. Start hitting up other girls. Once she sees how much fun your having, her attitude will show you if shes truly sorry. You can talk to her, but keep it brief. Still be flirty and all, but distanced.

2) If she's not sorry, don't let it bother you. Don't get all pissed etc, just as before drop her. But this time no flirting with her. As far as your concerned, she out of your life forever.

As for the Prom, there's plenty of other (hotter) fish in the sea. In fact, a lot of the hotter girls don't get asked till later because some guys are too timid to ask. Anyway, if all else fails..... bring an escort . (I saw this on the forums last year) It'll be hilarious and if your good she just might...

 

[Cassanova_Child]

Man, you must be really patient if your only a little pissed off. I'd be furious. I think you handled it pretty well. Here's what I would recommend:

1) If she is genuinely sorry, and you know this (only you can tell not us) cut her off. I've found the best way to deal with girls who turfed you is to just stop dealing with them. Outta sight, outta mind. Start hitting up other girls. Once she sees how much fun your having, her attitude will show you if shes truly sorry. You can talk to her, but keep it brief. Still be flirty and all, but distanced.

2) If she's not sorry, don't let it bother you. Don't get all pissed etc, just as before drop her. But this time no flirting with her. As far as your concerned, she out of your life forever.

As for the Prom, there's plenty of other (hotter) fish in the sea. In fact, a lot of the hotter girls don't get asked till later because some guys are too timid to ask. Anyway, if all else fails..... bring an escort . (I saw this on the forums last year) It'll be hilarious and if your good she just might...

this.

 

[Pdizzzzzzle]

keep asking question if you need to, its the only way you're going to get better. Don't be afraid to ask us "why"

 

[nicelife]

eh..

she sounds pretty genuine and shes offering an alternative to make up for it..

i say you take it, dont let your ego get in the way of getting this girl cos you sound pretty into her if you're getting so upset..

possibly arrange something where you two can get together alone instead of her bday thing that way you can put the moves on easier ;D

in the meantime find yourself another girl to take to the prom

 

[sanjimbo]

Man, you must be really patient if your only a little pissed off. I'd be furious. I think you handled it pretty well. Here's what I would recommend:

1) If she is genuinely sorry, and you know this (only you can tell not us) cut her off. I've found the best way to deal with girls who turfed you is to just stop dealing with them. Outta sight, outta mind. Start hitting up other girls. Once she sees how much fun your having, her attitude will show you if shes truly sorry. You can talk to her, but keep it brief. Still be flirty and all, but distanced.

I wasn't too angry at first, but it did kind of ruin my day. When I was on my way home after school I really started to get frustrated.

It's something I'd like to do, but I don't think I'd be able to. I am into this girl and I don't know if I'd want to distance myself. Maybe if I do it'll be a little bit.

I know for a fact that I'll act a little different around her for a bit.

eh..

she sounds pretty genuine and shes offering an alternative to make up for it..

i say you take it, dont let your ego get in the way of getting this girl cos you sound pretty into her if you're getting so upset..

possibly arrange something where you two can get together alone instead of her bday thing that way you can put the moves on easier ;D

I was thinking about doing this, but part of me doesn't want to.

Although I don't want to admit it, it probably is the ego.

 

[Pdizzzzzzle]

Just try cutting relations for a day. If you can't take it and your going to explode go ahead and interact with her again. You have to show NOW that you are only looking in a relationship, not a friendship. If you dont this journey looks like it might end up in the friendzone.

 

[sanjimbo]

Yeah, makes sense.

Let's say I tell her that she need to make up for it so she needs to go out with me this weekend or whenever. Would it be best not to tell her tomorrow? Talking to her would be unavoidable, so I'm not gonna act like my usual self and I really don't think I'd be able to even if I wanted to because of what happened. I'm just going to be serious with her.

 

[Pdizzzzzzle]

Yeah, makes sense.

Let's say I tell her that she need to make up for it so she needs to go out with me this weekend or whenever. Would it be best not to tell her tomorrow? Talking to her would be unavoidable, so I'm not gonna act like my usual self and I really don't think I'd be able to even if I wanted to because of what happened. I'm just going to be serious with her.

serious=good
forcing her to go out with you=bad

Telling her she needs to go out with you makes you look like you can't get any other girls.

 

[sanjimbo]

What should I do then?

 

[nicelife]

your being so reactive man.. chillout & stop being so emotional..

be a man, its not a big deal, you can just find another girl to take, your gonna see her there anyway so you can put the moves on there aswell if your smart about it >_>


dont let your big head get in the way of getting with this chick..

shes trying to make it up to you and your just pushing her away.. most girls will only try for so long..

the only thing you have to lose is this girl, not your ego not your pride, just the girl

so take her out, put some moves on and see where you stand!

 

[Pdizzzzzzle]

What should I do then?

What does your gut say to do? (Put everything behind you for a few moments and think about just the problem. Forget what I've told you, what she's said, what you've thought about while going home, EVERYTHING.) What did you get to?

 

[sanjimbo]

I'm not trying to come off as emotional. I've got one person telling me to put the moves on her and another to distance myself.

I just started coming out of my shell, and I'm just trying to figure out what to do.

 

[Pdizzzzzzle]

I'm not trying to come off as emotional. I've got one person telling me to put the moves on her and another to distance myself.

I just started coming out of my shell, and I'm just trying to figure out what to do.

I wish I could make the decision for you but I can't. YOU have to take charge and read into the situation. Try messaging a couple of the master don juans like snowplowman and see what they say. Also just wait a little. We usually get a wave of kids from the West Coast in soon and maybe some of them will help you more.

Don't freak out about it too much. Remember your goal is to have fun. I gave you my ideas and now you just need to read a couple more and decide what to do. Good luck!

 

[Dimehair]

Escort to prom... that's hilarious. And beastly. I don't know how it is at your school, but prom and dances in general don't mean much as to who you go with. It's who you leave with. If she likes you and you like her, it doesn't matter who you go with because that's just semantics. Don't sweat it. If you treat it like it's no big deal, then it's no big deal.

 

[Cassanova_Child]

Escort to prom... that's hilarious. And beastly. I don't know how it is at your school, but prom and dances in general don't mean much as to who you go with. It's who you leave with. If she likes you and you like her, it doesn't matter who you go with because that's just semantics. Don't sweat it. If you treat it like it's no big deal, then it's no big deal.

this is well

well, prom is a little different, but generally I found that girls (and guys, but thats not the point of this discussion) dont like going to dances 'with' people in HS. it makes them feel obligated to hang out/dance/make out with you, when they want to be dancing/making out with anyone who they please. unless you're a couple, it doesnt matter, I guarantee going 'with' her will be no different than just dancing/hooking up with her. as dimehair said, its who you leave with :yes:

 

[Pdizzzzzzle]

this is well

well, prom is a little different, but generally I found that girls (and guys, but thats not the point of this discussion) dont like going to dances 'with' people in HS. it makes them feel obligated to hang out/dance/make out with you, when they want to be dancing/making out with anyone who they please. unless you're a couple, it doesnt matter, I guarantee going 'with' her will be no different than just dancing/hooking up with her. as dimehair said, its who you leave with :yes:

and don't forget the after parties

 

[EvilAgenda]

Man, you must be really patient if your only a little pissed off. I'd be furious. I think you handled it pretty well. Here's what I would recommend:

1) If she is genuinely sorry, and you know this (only you can tell not us) cut her off. I've found the best way to deal with girls who turfed you is to just stop dealing with them. Outta sight, outta mind. Start hitting up other girls. Once she sees how much fun your having, her attitude will show you if shes truly sorry. You can talk to her, but keep it brief. Still be flirty and all, but distanced.

2) If she's not sorry, don't let it bother you. Don't get all pissed etc, just as before drop her. But this time no flirting with her. As far as your concerned, she out of your life forever.

As for the Prom, there's plenty of other (hotter) fish in the sea. In fact, a lot of the hotter girls don't get asked till later because some guys are too timid to ask. Anyway, if all else fails..... bring an escort . (I saw this on the forums last year) It'll be hilarious and if your good she just might...

thirded

 

[James18]

If she was really into you I should think that she would have let the other guy down and gone with you... BUT, seeing how persistent she was to see you on another date, I'm willing to believe she's really genuine. Don't let your ego mess this up- have her set up a date that's good for you, and go have a good time. If you click, watch her dump the other fella and clear out her schedule for you. If it's awkward and forced then drop her, but don't cut her out so fast.