Self improvement goals

[GeoMan]

I went through a messed up break up last year and made me very depressed for a long time but it also made me very motivated to bettering myself. I'm still in the process of improving myself and have not focused on the social part of my life because I've been rigorously working/going to school but anyways these are my main goals I wanted to share somewhere. I'm 21 turn 22 in November.

-Get promoted at work and make 40k a year(done)
-Save $12k to buy myself a small condo and move out of parents house(currently at $2k)
-Buy me a car (bought a g35, will be done paying it in December of 2017)
- Build habits of lifting and playing sports( getting started on that this summer)
- Get associates in engineering( will be done in December)
- Have orthognatic surgery to fix bad bite and recessed chin(will in October)
- Improve social skills and build strong relationships and social circles and obviously bang a lot of fine woman(not a priority till I achieve my other goals, prob January 2017)
- Build habit of reading everyday( I'm slacking)
- Develop personality traits such as being more assertive, out spoken, charismatic, confident, etc. (I need the most help on this )

What do you guys think? Anything you would add or advice/criticism?

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Don't watch porn, or cut back significantly at least

Join a networking group, whether it be student, professional, nonprofit, volunteering, etc. It will help develop some of your goals, most of all social skills and meeting people.

Running groups are also a good option. Builds your social network, healthy for you, and about 60% of runners are girls.

 

[Infern0]

Second cutting back on porn, dreadful habit if you watch it frequently.

Also don't wait till summer to start lifting. Start now.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Do you have enough good solid friends? Consider making it a goal to develop some more and/or find a social circle, of like-minded men that you both respect and actually go out and have fun times with.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Building different social circles is crucial at least in 3 respects for a DonJuan
1. Gives you more invitations to different events, letting you game more girls without having to cold-approach (you should still do it).
2. Gives you more space to try and develop the social traits you were talking about.
3. Gives you a happy, busy life, making oneitis more difficult to creep into your heart.

 

[Çharismo]

Start meditating at least 20 minutes a day which will help you shut off the endless chatter in the mind. Its called the Monkey mind for a reason which is constantly active and running in the background. By practicing stillness you will feel a shift in your psyche as well as your body. In addition, there are many benefits of meditating not only psychological but physical, emotional and most of all spiritual. It will develop a calmness and peace within you which you will start to feel.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

No matter what your goals are, make sure they are measurable.

So if you set a goal, you can actually count something and compare it to your target and get an actual percent.

Most people forget to do this with social skills and set a goal to "be more outgoing" or "talk to more people."

To work on social skills, becoming more extroverted, choose a few specific EXAMPLES.

Like number of eye contacts per day.

Number of "hello's" per day.

Number of times you ASKED for contact into (can't control how much you get).

Number of times you handed out a business car.

Number of speeches given per week at toastmasters.

Number of names you've collected from new people (actually keep a list so you can keep score)

Number of girls that are alone that you cold approach and start a conversation with per week.

Number of girls in groups that you cold approach and start a conversation with per week.

DO NOT make the mistake of going too far too fast.. Go slow. Being able to comfortably walk up, introduce yourself, generate attraction and get a number from an eager girl is a very valuable skill that will help you with ALL OTHER SOCIAL skills.

Treat it like you would your engineering degree, not something you do when you "feel like it" or when you "have time."

Make a TWO OR THREE YEAR PLAN to get to that level of game. Go slow Improve slow. Just like training for a marathon..

It will serve your for life.

 

[GeoMan]

No matter what your goals are, make sure they are measurable.

So if you set a goal, you can actually count something and compare it to your target and get an actual percent.

Most people forget to do this with social skills and set a goal to "be more outgoing" or "talk to more people."

To work on social skills, becoming more extroverted, choose a few specific EXAMPLES.

Like number of eye contacts per day.

Number of "hello's" per day.

Number of times you ASKED for contact into (can't control how much you get).

Number of times you handed out a business car.

Number of speeches given per week at toastmasters.

Number of names you've collected from new people (actually keep a list so you can keep score)

Number of girls that are alone that you cold approach and start a conversation with per week.

Number of girls in groups that you cold approach and start a conversation with per week.

DO NOT make the mistake of going too far too fast.. Go slow. Being able to comfortably walk up, introduce yourself, generate attraction and get a number from an eager girl is a very valuable skill that will help you with ALL OTHER SOCIAL skills.

Treat it like you would your engineering degree, not something you do when you "feel like it" or when you "have time."

Make a TWO OR THREE YEAR PLAN to get to that level of game. Go slow Improve slow. Just like training for a marathon..

It will serve your for life.

Great advice! I like the mentality of treating it like an engineering degree! I am wondering what exactly are toastmasters and have you ever attended some?

 

[GeoMan]

Building different social circles is crucial at least in 3 respects for a DonJuan
1. Gives you more invitations to different events, letting you game more girls without having to cold-approach (you should still do it).
2. Gives you more space to try and develop the social traits you were talking about.
3. Gives you a happy, busy life, making oneitis more difficult to creep into your heart.

What are some ways you would start a social circle from scratch? Having three sounds awesome but first I gotta learn to create one.

 

[GeoMan]

Do you have enough good solid friends? Consider making it a goal to develop some more and/or find a social circle, of like-minded men that you both respect and actually go out and have fun times with.

No I don't. I have a deficit of friends at this point of my life. I grew up playing soccer so I had a lot of soccer friends and now that I'm not as into soccer it's hard for me to create friendships with non soccer people. I have one real friend outside of soccer and it's because we're both into philosophy and psychology type of discussions.

 

[Reykhel]

No I don't. I have a deficit of friends at this point of my life. I grew up playing soccer so I had a lot of soccer friends and now that I'm not as into soccer it's hard for me to create friendships with non soccer people. I have one real friend outside of soccer and it's because we're both into philosophy and psychology type of discussions.

Friendship formula: common goal, shared experience, positive emotions, time.

Get into martial arts. Could be boxing, could be muay thai, could be whatever.........do it. Male contact and friendships.

Read Malcolm Gladwell............all social circles are held together by one or two people. He coined the term "getting sticky" it means you have to be patient.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I am wondering what exactly are toastmasters and have you ever attended some?

Public speaking club. Everybody's like you. Scared sh*tless of speaking, so they go there and practice. Works wonders as well as expanding your social circle. People are really friendly and helpful. I went every week for about a year, met some pretty good friends there.

http://www.toastmasters.org/Find-a-Club

 

[Reykhel]

Public speaking club. Everybody's like you. Scared sh*tless of speaking, so they go there and practice. Works wonders as well as expanding your social circle. People are really friendly and helpful. I went every week for about a year, met some pretty good friends there.

http://www.toastmasters.org/Find-a-Club

Agreed. Great way to get yourself in with a crowd in a strange city.

What happens after is a different story. But yes, get yourself into as many groups as possible and
try to take over one or two....

 

[Reykhel]

Social Circle Mastery

anyone now what I am talking about?

 

[GeoMan]

Public speaking club. Everybody's like you. Scared sh*tless of speaking, so they go there and practice. Works wonders as well as expanding your social circle. People are really friendly and helpful. I went every week for about a year, met some pretty good friends there.

http://www.toastmasters.org/Find-a-Club

What's the demographic at these clubs? Just wondering

 

[GeoMan]

I take Muay Thai classes. When you get yourself squared away on all your goals and start with women, you'll notice they love the fact you're into martial arts. Libidos go up just by knowing that you do it.

I actually have boxed before (preety decent) but I stopped going due to external reasons but it's definitely on my list of to do list!

 

[GeoMan]

Social Circle Mastery

anyone now what I am talking about?

I don't. Please elaborate!

 

[Reykhel]

I don't. Please elaborate!

Really? Jesus Christ...Social Circle Mastery by love systems???

Has every body being asleep under a pillow or what???

how do you not know that???

 

[GeoMan]

Btw much appreciate the input will definetly be using this thread for my self growth. That monkey mind thing was very interesting too I'm actually doing some reading on that now haha

 

[GeoMan]

Really? Jesus Christ...Social Circle Mastery by love systems???

Has every body being asleep under a pillow or what???

how do you not know that???

Idk man but please enlighten me lol