IamtheAlphamale
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2003
- Messages
- 576
- Reaction score
- 108
Hi. I'm long out of the game. I'm 38 and I started working on myself when I was 17 or 18. I was extremely insecure and had tons of anxiety and negative feelings. 20 years later I'm what I wished I could become. I'm not fake or acting I'm real and totally unaffected by the world.
Baby steps are key. Try to progress incrementally. Just little by little step by step.
Here's what I learned. I must stress that learning the enneagram personality system is key to understanding yourself and others. It will also make you more intuitive.
First let's start with an idea. You and I have different personalities but theres some similarities. Your mind like mine has built in insecurities. These we will call psychological pillars. So the mind is kind of like a pattern. A pattern of thinking. Now when these pillars are activated they usually get us to act in certain ways. We can either act insecurely and reinforce the pillar. Or we can try to figure out how to weaken the pillar which for me is actively plunging myself into what I fear. But eventually when all the pillars are broken you must switch fully into doing by not doing. This will be explained.
So an example of this is I was really afraid of getting rejected by girls so I would always avoid it. But eventually I started getting rejected on purpose to absorb the feeling and eventually the pillar of insecurity crumbled. Or do u know women who are obsessed with social media and crave other people's validation? This will strengthen the pillar. And since our habits make it a pattern it will get worse and worse by feeding the pillar.
When I started I looked inward and developed a keen ability to look at my emotions and what I was afraid of. In the beginning I thrust myself into whatever I was afraid of. I voiced my opinions and purposely got rejected as much as I could to kill off my fears. Looking inward and figuring out what scares you is key. You can put yourself in the situation that scares you and try to live out your worst fear. Embrace the pain. The more you follow this the less you will feel until it either amuses you or you dont care.
If you tell yourself something and put it as your passwords and repetitively just keep repeating the idea and eliminate the negative thoughts you will slowly change yourself. Pook said as you think you shall become. But you must catch yourself in the act and then switch to the positive.
I meditate for 2 hours everyday minimum. This is key. Become an observer of your emotions learn to decide how you choose to feel. Controlyourmind. The tao te ching by lao tzu is very good for self growth. He speaks of doing by not doing. For me I realized that this means a lot of the time when something happens we say to ourselves how should I react and feel about this? The reality is that you should do by not doing. The proper emotion is nothing.
What is better success or failure? Lao tzu asked this. With success you put yourself through hardships to attain a result. You live in fear of failing. With failure you are still a hostage of your desires. Have few desires. Always try to become unaffected and work to become what you might be and let go of what you are.
People ask how can I become like this? How can I feel this way? I'm used to thinking negatively and it doesn't work when I try not to. People used to argue is the world flat or round. For a long time they argued. It wasn't until we went to space that we knew for sure. Because with the growth of technology came perspective. As you grow you will gain this perspective.
I must admit lao tzu has hugely influenced me in self growth. And through out this post I will be dissecting his ideas as well as mine.
You may not be aware of the scientifically proven facts about meditating. A quick google search shows the average meditator gets a 23 percent increase in IQ. Universities over just more than the last decade have been studying Buddhist monks. They have found that after 5 to 8 weeks of meditating starts to physically optimize the brain. Buddhist monks are the best brains that neuroscience has studied. It's worth noting that after 8 weeks the neuro pathways that govern negative emotions begin to break down.
Think about what you want in life and how you have worked towards it. This is desire and desires cause you pain. Success or failure? You will always be desires hostage. Water your dreams with fear and worry and you will produce weeds that choke your dreams. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. But remember desire is a underlying source of stress and negativity.
I quote lao tzu a lot but I'm not going to say everytime. Just a heads up.
If I came into a room and threw paint on you how would you react? Everything that can effect you is external. You should strive always to be unaffected. Happiness comes from within. Dont expect to gain it with money or women. Do by not doing. the proper emotion is either happiness and positive feelings or nothing at all.
For me I'm very calm. People regularly comment how I'm the most calm person they have met. They see it In my eyes when I wear a mask. When I used to approach women would comment on it. My family coworkers and friends say being around me makes everyone more calm and if I'm not at work people get in arguments and stuff.. so they say. It is possible for anyone to become strong if they want to follow the path to it.
Theres something in the self growth sphere called being selfless. How could we suffer if we did not have a self? That's the root of it really. When someone throws paint on you you choose to suffer because you choose to have a self. Become an observer of reality. Theres no reason you cant follow your dreams but limit your desires. Have few. Contentment is wealth.
Baby steps are key. Try to progress incrementally. Just little by little step by step.
Here's what I learned. I must stress that learning the enneagram personality system is key to understanding yourself and others. It will also make you more intuitive.
First let's start with an idea. You and I have different personalities but theres some similarities. Your mind like mine has built in insecurities. These we will call psychological pillars. So the mind is kind of like a pattern. A pattern of thinking. Now when these pillars are activated they usually get us to act in certain ways. We can either act insecurely and reinforce the pillar. Or we can try to figure out how to weaken the pillar which for me is actively plunging myself into what I fear. But eventually when all the pillars are broken you must switch fully into doing by not doing. This will be explained.
So an example of this is I was really afraid of getting rejected by girls so I would always avoid it. But eventually I started getting rejected on purpose to absorb the feeling and eventually the pillar of insecurity crumbled. Or do u know women who are obsessed with social media and crave other people's validation? This will strengthen the pillar. And since our habits make it a pattern it will get worse and worse by feeding the pillar.
When I started I looked inward and developed a keen ability to look at my emotions and what I was afraid of. In the beginning I thrust myself into whatever I was afraid of. I voiced my opinions and purposely got rejected as much as I could to kill off my fears. Looking inward and figuring out what scares you is key. You can put yourself in the situation that scares you and try to live out your worst fear. Embrace the pain. The more you follow this the less you will feel until it either amuses you or you dont care.
If you tell yourself something and put it as your passwords and repetitively just keep repeating the idea and eliminate the negative thoughts you will slowly change yourself. Pook said as you think you shall become. But you must catch yourself in the act and then switch to the positive.
I meditate for 2 hours everyday minimum. This is key. Become an observer of your emotions learn to decide how you choose to feel. Controlyourmind. The tao te ching by lao tzu is very good for self growth. He speaks of doing by not doing. For me I realized that this means a lot of the time when something happens we say to ourselves how should I react and feel about this? The reality is that you should do by not doing. The proper emotion is nothing.
What is better success or failure? Lao tzu asked this. With success you put yourself through hardships to attain a result. You live in fear of failing. With failure you are still a hostage of your desires. Have few desires. Always try to become unaffected and work to become what you might be and let go of what you are.
People ask how can I become like this? How can I feel this way? I'm used to thinking negatively and it doesn't work when I try not to. People used to argue is the world flat or round. For a long time they argued. It wasn't until we went to space that we knew for sure. Because with the growth of technology came perspective. As you grow you will gain this perspective.
I must admit lao tzu has hugely influenced me in self growth. And through out this post I will be dissecting his ideas as well as mine.
You may not be aware of the scientifically proven facts about meditating. A quick google search shows the average meditator gets a 23 percent increase in IQ. Universities over just more than the last decade have been studying Buddhist monks. They have found that after 5 to 8 weeks of meditating starts to physically optimize the brain. Buddhist monks are the best brains that neuroscience has studied. It's worth noting that after 8 weeks the neuro pathways that govern negative emotions begin to break down.
Think about what you want in life and how you have worked towards it. This is desire and desires cause you pain. Success or failure? You will always be desires hostage. Water your dreams with fear and worry and you will produce weeds that choke your dreams. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. But remember desire is a underlying source of stress and negativity.
I quote lao tzu a lot but I'm not going to say everytime. Just a heads up.
If I came into a room and threw paint on you how would you react? Everything that can effect you is external. You should strive always to be unaffected. Happiness comes from within. Dont expect to gain it with money or women. Do by not doing. the proper emotion is either happiness and positive feelings or nothing at all.
For me I'm very calm. People regularly comment how I'm the most calm person they have met. They see it In my eyes when I wear a mask. When I used to approach women would comment on it. My family coworkers and friends say being around me makes everyone more calm and if I'm not at work people get in arguments and stuff.. so they say. It is possible for anyone to become strong if they want to follow the path to it.
Theres something in the self growth sphere called being selfless. How could we suffer if we did not have a self? That's the root of it really. When someone throws paint on you you choose to suffer because you choose to have a self. Become an observer of reality. Theres no reason you cant follow your dreams but limit your desires. Have few. Contentment is wealth.