Self fulfilling prophecies and paradigm shifts

dispatch

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2007
Messages
116
Reaction score
3
What's the difference between coasting along at a comfortable pace and reaching that next level where we all want to be?

In any field of endeavour, there are countless people that are perfectly suited to the job, have incredible talent and skill, but fall short of the elite level. They may very well be driven, having spent countless hours perfecting technique and strategy, yet when it comes to the crunch point, they fail when everyone around them are assured of their success.

There is a lot to be said about the power of visualisation. But it has to go further than just imagining the success, you have to truly believe you are going to win before, during and after the success. You can't just be confident, but rather have to convince yourself that you deserve and are capable of it.

Ever wonder why Ali was so good? The following quote is thrown around a lot to help describe him

"I am the greatest" - Ali,

but if you dig a little deeper, the rest of the sentence speaks volumes.

"I am the greatest, and I said that even before I knew I was." - Ali.

Ali didn't just think he was good enough, didn't just know he was in the top ten or even the best by a little way - he KNEW in his very core that he had put in the effort to be the greatest. He was brash, bawdy, belligerent, he didn't shy away from the press, he didn't talk his opponent up, he talked himself up, and each prophecy he made about himself he fulfilled, meaning his confidence grew in an upwards spiral, a positive feedback loop that became stronger with every win that HE predicted. He kept telling people he was the best until THEY believed him as well. He will be studied by athletes, pyschologists, leaders, motivators, politicians and sport scientists for centuries as the perfect example of the power of belief and true inner confidence.

"Boldness has genius and power and magic in it." - Goethe

So, if you want to go out with that girl, become a guy she would date. If you want that raise, do more work than you get paid for. If you want the new job, do the work for it. If you're going to bust a defensive line, run like no-one can stop you. If you want a black belt then train like one. If you want to get stronger then lift heavier. Smarter, then act smarter. Faster, think faster. Shifting the paradigms and perceptions you have of yourself can yield more results than all the preparation and tactics in the world. They are the references frames we view the world by, they can either set the obstacles or clear the path to success.

So, I've said how I think about self fulfilling prophecies, what's the expert definition? Here's a good one from that great store of human knowledge, Wikipedia:

The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behaviour which makes the original false conception come 'true'. - Robert K Merton, Social Theory and Social Structure (1968).

This is a beautiful theory - that society, and, by direct backwards correlation, the human mind, can essential deceive itself into achieving previously "impossible" tasks. And copious amounts of psychological studies and sport science in particular have proven it true over and over. This is often stated as "Fake it until you make it". It has also been called the "Pygmalion Effect" after a play by George Bernard Shaw.

Here's a great example - the belief that the stock market might crash, if held by enough people, can actually cause it to do so, even if the original belief was completely false! Anyone familiar with the classic tales of Oedipus or Macbeth would understand the devastating power of belief and self-perception. In some cases, it is not just your own beliefs that impact on you, although these are the most powerful. Children who have more expected of them often achieve more. Anyone who has ever read a self help book has probably encountered this idea. So why am I bothering to say it?

Because I think that most people don't realise that this mindset isn't just for elite sportsmen or life changing decisions - it is crucial to success everywhere. It can be applied to the smallest things - like breaking an annoying habit or improving your self confidence. Just try holding your head half an inch higher than normal for a few days. Force yourself to look people in the eye a little more. You'll be constantly amazed at the powerful changes you can affect in yourself just by acting differently.

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France


b.
 

GQ_Confidence_1

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
161
Reaction score
7
Your beliefs and mind are very powerful. I think even the brighest on this board, or the brightest in self improvement/personal development don't fully realize it or comprehend.

When I was in highschool, my brain was telling me, girls didn't like me. Girls didn't want to be around me. I couldn't think of things to say. Even girls that were a 3 or 4. "Hot girls"...please.

Now, my same brain is telling me, of course I can talk to hot girls, its easy. They're people! And you have all these other justifications. For me, it wasnt necessarily that I'm the best, or that I deserve it....just reversing some bad beliefs from before.

Some may disagree, but I dont think being the top, in the top .001% of something is necessarily gratifying. It doesn't automatically equate happiness...as a society, I think we overvalue the top....being the next elvis, or the next Ali.

-Its lonely. Doing work that others arent doing.
-I think the journey is more important than the destination.
-There's still a lot of success to be had at 80 to 95%. Reaching that 100% marker takes a lot more time than 95%. That extra 5% is a long road.

For me, going from a 3 to an 8 is very gratifying, being a perfect 10 in social skills, seduction, girls....doesnt really matter.

But you become what you think about, no question.
 

Scorrere

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
52
Reaction score
0
GQ_Confidence_1 said:
Your beliefs and mind are very powerful. I think even the brighest on this board, or the brightest in self improvement/personal development don't fully realize it or comprehend.

When I was in highschool, my brain was telling me, girls didn't like me. Girls didn't want to be around me. I couldn't think of things to say. Even girls that were a 3 or 4. "Hot girls"...please.

Now, my same brain is telling me, of course I can talk to hot girls, its easy. They're people! And you have all these other justifications. For me, it wasnt necessarily that I'm the best, or that I deserve it....just reversing some bad beliefs from before.

Some may disagree, but I dont think being the top, in the top .001% of something is necessarily gratifying. It doesn't automatically equate happiness...as a society, I think we overvalue the top....being the next elvis, or the next Ali.

-Its lonely. Doing work that others arent doing.
-I think the journey is more important than the destination.
-There's still a lot of success to be had at 80 to 95%. Reaching that 100% marker takes a lot more time than 95%. That extra 5% is a long road.

For me, going from a 3 to an 8 is very gratifying, being a perfect 10 in social skills, seduction, girls....doesnt really matter.

But you become what you think about, no question.
Amazing post. I run distance (800m and up + XC) and I know that it'd be impossible for me to ever beat the current best at 5km, Kenenisia Bekele. He closed the last mile of the Beijing 5k in 3:57 or so. I'll never get to that level. It's pure genetics and environment (he's Ethiopian and has lived at altitude his entire life which helps a lot).

Doesn't mean I shouldn't work as hard as I can to see just how far I CAN go. It's not about reaching some amazing goal like running a mile in under 4 minutes but instead just pushing myself to MY limits. Having so much of a focus on achieving this nearly impossible goal can really **** with you and might even HARM you because you're always thinking "****, I'm nowhere near this goal" in the back of your head.

Not everyone of us can be the best at anything we set out to do. It's just impossible. But realizing this is kind of liberating. Instead of trying to be the "best" we just work hard to be OUR best. We reach a little farther everyday and see just how much better we can get. I still try never to settle and continue pushing my boundaries a little bit at a time. By focusing on this instead of "I must be the BEST", I slowly but surely improve. Who knows where I'll end up? Might be the best, most likely not. That's ok. As long as I keep on improving.

My current life philosophy is to keep an open mind and always be ACTIVE in my life.

By keeping an open mind, I mean that I have no idea what the future may hold and that's GREAT, it makes things exciting. I have no set in stone plan though I have some general plans. I take things a little at a time and see where it all ends up. For example, I used to freak out about what major I would choose in college and what career I would end up with. Then I realized I should stop obsessing over planning my entire life out and instead just pick a major, get some experience anyway I can, and then see what my options are. Who knows what will happen?

Many might say that's a bad life philosophy because then you don't go anywhere. Well, that's why I also must be ACTIVE in my life. I always need to be doing SOMETHING that progresses my life. I don't know what works and what doesn't but I'm just trying whatever I can and see what ends up clicking together.

Went a bit OT with that. :yawn:
 

GQ_Confidence_1

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
161
Reaction score
7
Also, I'll add, I think as a culture, we significantly overvalue top achievement and record setting.

-Breaking the 4 minute mile.

-Being the next Tony Robbins, achieving your peak success, constant and never ending improvement (Tonys concept)

-Being the next Tiger Woods, Ali.

All this stuff about trying to push the limits of what's possible, push the limit's of the mind, etc.

When I think most people would be better off if they simply improved from being a 3 to a 7 or 8. That's very freeing and liberating. Personally, I think it's pointless trying to get Arnold Schwartznegger's physique, or being an 8 time Mr Olympia.

In the 90's, I use to enjoy David Copperfield (the magicians) tv specials. Remember when magic was kind of a craze? This was pre Criss Angel, David Blaine.

Copperfield is famous for his, "500 shows a year", his work ethic, etc. Basically living on stage. At some point, I think achievement can become sad. In some interviews I've seen of him, it comes across as incredible insecurity, the needing of constant attention and approval from an audience.

Not every super achiever is like that (in the ethiopian distance runners case), some are driven to achieve to help their family. Some immigrants here in the US I've known, are driven to achieve to make up for a horrible childhood back home (in Lebanon or something).

I think we overvalue the top .001% of achievements, the masses are insecure at a 3 or 4 from tv/media/poor beliefs, and they never fill the gap to being a 7 or an 8.
 

Scorrere

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
52
Reaction score
0
GQ_Confidence_1 said:
Also, I'll add, I think as a culture, we significantly overvalue top achievement and record setting.

-Breaking the 4 minute mile.

-Being the next Tony Robbins, achieving your peak success, constant and never ending improvement (Tonys concept)

-Being the next Tiger Woods, Ali.

All this stuff about trying to push the limits of what's possible, push the limit's of the mind, etc.

When I think most people would be better off if they simply improved from being a 3 to a 7 or 8. That's very freeing and liberating. Personally, I think it's pointless trying to get Arnold Schwartznegger's physique, or being an 8 time Mr Olympia.

In the 90's, I use to enjoy David Copperfield (the magicians) tv specials. Remember when magic was kind of a craze? This was pre Criss Angel, David Blaine.

Copperfield is famous for his, "500 shows a year", his work ethic, etc. Basically living on stage. At some point, I think achievement can become sad. In some interviews I've seen of him, it comes across as incredible insecurity, the needing of constant attention and approval from an audience.

Not every super achiever is like that (in the ethiopian distance runners case), some are driven to achieve to help their family. Some immigrants here in the US I've known, are driven to achieve to make up for a horrible childhood back home (in Lebanon or something).

I think we overvalue the top .001% of achievements, the masses are insecure at a 3 or 4 from tv/media/poor beliefs, and they never fill the gap to being a 7 or an 8.
I believe trying to be the best is OK if you have the talent but it's when you seem to define yourself by being the best and get too wrapped up in it that it becomes a problem. When your happiness completely depends on if you win your next boxing match, then something's wrong. You've become too obsessed with it. You should be doing an activity because you enjoy it and if you happen to be amazing at it, then go for the top, otherwise, just do the best you can.

I know I started getting way too wrapped up in hitting certain times when I ran XC. I'd get really pissed off and depressed if I didn't race very well and was all around just in a bad mood because I never met any of my expectations. Then my coach reminded me I should be doing the sport because I like it not to just achieve a certain goal. When I started focusing on just racing because I love competition, I started to run much faster because I didn't have that mental block. A famous coach from the University of Oregon said something similar: sure, winning feels great, but that feeling fades quickly, don't focus on winning so much and focus more on running the best race that you can.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

dispatch

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2007
Messages
116
Reaction score
3
GQ and Scorrere, thanks for the replies. I think you guys have it nailed. Becoming the next Berkele, Ali, Tiger, Jordan, Picasso, Hendrix etc, while obviously impressive, requires such an unbalanced approach to life, that even pihlosophically, we have to say it's not optimal.

As an aside, Berkele is amazing. I tihnk it was the 10km in Athens, he had already won coming into the last lap, and after 9.6km he ran a victory lap 400m that was far faster than any time I could run. Truly a tremendous competitor.

The only trouble with competiton, as you guys mentioned, is defining yourself through it. Which is why this post was about self-perception. Competition against others is all about other's perceptions. Competition against the self is the true joy and "winning" the true success.
 

dispatch

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2007
Messages
116
Reaction score
3
And wolf mirrors my thoughts exactly. There is almost no chance a white man will hold the 100m sprint record again. But if you commit yourself to something for the long term, do the necessary research, make all the necessary sacrifices, put in the necessary effort, then there are very few pursuits you cannot at least improve/succeed in, at best master.

I believe that very strongly. Its what I think defines human spirit.
 
Top