Self-confidence: Is your ego taking over?

[DiegoSantori]

I've discovered a very interesting article on flyingsolo.com.au:

"An inflated ego is an exaggerated sense of self-worth. Ultimately, it’s a survival mechanism. The ego creates an internal fantasy of self-superiority to protect itself. The catch is that it keeps getting angered because the real world consistently fails to supply it with the validation that it supposedly 'deserves'.

Herein lies the problem. Those strict internal standards that your ego upholds act as an internal barrier that prevents you from getting the very things you want. You may think your ego is working for you; but it’s more likely working against you.

Your ego can often confuse the difference between what’s most appropriate, what’s right and what you feel like doing in any given situation. Sometimes these three factors are in alignment and that’s brilliant. But often in the real world, they are not. The ego tends to lean heavily on what’s right (which can be grossly exaggerated) and what you feel like doing.

And this is where you can trip over yourself. You’ll end up doing what’s 'right' because you feel it’s the only way to go. Opportunities may be zipping by you but you have deemed them inappropriate. What’s 'right' is not necessarily what’s most appropriate in the real world."

Symptoms of an inflated ego:

1. You use the word “should” far too much.
2. You swing between two states: being “nice” and plain arrogance.
3. You think and talk about standards, morals and rules a lot.
4. You often take things personally and way too seriously.
5. You feel deeply wounded when something you’ve done or even YOU yourself has been rejected in some capacity.
6. You are not fond of the masses or those who are in positions of authority.
7. You consider being “right” as the most important thing.
8. You feel the world owes you something.
9. You honestly believe you’re above everyone else.
10. You often walk around feeling very proud.
11. You disdain what you believe you can’t/shouldn’t have.
12. You must have your way (a little too often).
13. You feel it’s you against “them”.
14. You are never a beginner at anything!
15. You justify and defend absolutely everything.

 

[EveryPostHere]

No. RED PILL RED PILL EMBRACE IT. SWALLOW!!!!!

 

[PlayerSupremo]

The ego is like a gremlin or your shadow self that you have to battle to gain control over your life.

It is what keeps you guys dateless. Every time you go out to approach a girl here comes the ego trying to "protect" you but jacking you up instead causing your body to shake and quake at the mere thought of walking over to a pretty girl and just saying hello.

 

[sharkbeat]

Ego is arrogance without substance.

Examples:

Feeling alpha just because this forum says you must be an alpha to get girls
Walk with swaggers
Talk with an attitude


Another easy example is watch how Hollywood portrays bad boys in movies, then watch clueless young adults apply that attitude into real life behaviors, you've got a big-massive-triple-D-cup ego boob. These so-called men are shaping their manhood into a form that has been defined by an industry. Their confidence are not rooted on a solid foundation, reinforced by real-life experience, but rather, an imaginary model created by mere fantasy.

 

[Oxide]

I can write a book on this. What sucks is that ego works. You can act and fool others into thinking youre the best. But it will come down. One way or another it always does. Then you wonder who you are and get insecure. Ops post had great advice- whats appropriate and whats right. Do those a lot. Do what you feel only sometimes. That will make for a much better and satisfying life and youll have respect. Ego wants attention, and this was a hard lesson - literally no one gives a ****.

 

[miketan70]

Ego ego ego! A s**** thing that f**** up lots of things sometimes

 

[sambwoy]

I discovered it was a mistake to seek approval from womanhood.

I did this in my early to mid twenties. Not being good-looking can be an impairment to social status as well as sexual prospect.

Example, I went to a youth group of mostly local urban youths. I probably travelled the farthest to get there as a patron of this club because I had heard about it through word of mouth.

The girls, brought up on a cultural diet of hunky princes, were weirded out immediately by my interests.

The organisers tried to maintain a zero-tolerance to bullying because the group were about careers and youth development. But the girls saw through that. Just nasty gossip, isolation and put downs, towards guys and the socially-inept girls. You just needed to feel it going on in the rooms.

Then one time later the staff made some jibe about my kind-of friend for being big. By that time I considered not to set foot in that place again. I did once, but I had better knowledge of that place to not sink into the misery I had in my early 20s.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Whatever but if many men had more ego and less need of validation, we would probably live in a better world.