Genghis Juan
Senior Don Juan
Dear Wise and Sage DJ Masters,
Your loyal apprentice is once again seeking your council on trying to get the poon-tang from a fine HB9 I have on the backburner.
Keep in mind, that my initial contact with this girl was just around the time I had become aware of this website...so my game is sort of a work in progress. She is 26yo and I 28yo.
A quick & dirty background for reference:
1st Date *Setup with girl from out-of-town* October
Coffee date during the week, I was cool....calm....We payed our own way.
The only blunder I made however, was saying at the end of the date, "Maybe we can get together Sat or something..." Her reaction was as vague as my proposition.
*In the interim, we play phone tag as we are both busy with alot of crap and eventually set up another date, keeping calm, not putting her on pedastel*
2nd Date *Dinner Date* November
She is super excited, wearing perfume, but doesn't know how to dress well, kind of dissapointed. Says crap like, "Oh...you're so nice, this is going to work!!" I make her laugh with some funny stories but she does most of the talking. Looks away whenever she laughs; sign of shyness. At the end of the date, as we walk back she unexpectedly grabs and hugs me really hard, then squeezes my hands "OHHH!". Didn't even go for the kiss close cuz she caught be my suprise. I paid for dinner, but she says "Oh, I feel bad...I'll get the next one"
At the end of the date she says, "Lets get together Sat @7, my friend is having a fund-raiser party, I'll call you". Then she gives me her home phone and email add. She was going back to KY for the long holiday but said she would be back Sat.
*Sat comes and goes....no phone call!! I also lost her phone number. In my racing mind...I didn't know which route to take...so I just let it slide, never confronted her about it...but never panicked either. BIG BLUNDER HERE right guys!?*
*Sent her an email asking for her phone #, she gives it to me. Now, all we do is exchange emails. She says in one of the emails, "oh i was so glad to hear from you the other day...blah". Then in an email she says "We should get together next week, you don't have to drive in town, I'll be more than glad to meet you half way"...My IL starts getting higher, the pedastal thing starts creeping into my game*
3rd Date, Dinner Date, December
This time her energy level is down, and mine is down...feelings of AFC-ness from the previous weeks. I am definetly not on my game, don't make her laugh as much, though one comment made her say I was funny. She compliments me on the way I dress. At the end of the date, I simply say, "Think things are going pretty good so far". She responds with "Well, ya I wouldn't be on this date if I wasn't itnerested, ...blah blah blah...whole can of worms....but I want to take it slow, I don't want a relationship right now, I've dated guys in the past and next thing I know im in a R-ship, time will tell, lets take it slow...you'll have to beat up my exbf's.."
At this point, I just say, "yeah sure, Im mellow, no big deal..", but internally, my game is going south. We walk out to her car, awkward moment, but I didn't kiss close, he hug, I notice her smiling shyly as she realized Im not kiss closing, so I run my hands down her sides (thinking quick) and she has a glowing look on her, as she walks bacwards to my car.
She paid for the dinner because my B-day was in two days. She calls me 2 days later on my B day and tells me voluntarily how much she is enjoying getting to know me. Then she is like "blah blah, going to a company party, invitation only, would have brought you, but don't worry I won't cheat" (But I wasn't whining or anything on the phone, she just spits this out, but were not in an R-ship either!! Weird) At the end of the phone convo. I say we should try something different, she says sure, I'll call you next week.
Next week comes and its Thursday night, still haven't heard from her, so I call her and she says, "oh so good to hear from you, my fathers coming in town tomorrow blah blah", I cut the phone convo. short and say talk 2 u later.
*Xmas and NY's she goes to Puerto Rico with family*
A week after Ny's I give her a call and leave a funny/confident voice mail. However, one week goes by and nothing from her. So at this point, ONE ITIS kicks in big time, my game completly falls apart internally. I didn't stick with the DJ game plan. I delete her phone number from my cell. Start to pull myself out of a rut, then she calls me on Thur afternoon, a VM, asking me to call her, she is wondering what I'm doing the next day.
I get pissed, thinking I'm her insurance plan. So I don't call her Thur., I call her Fri, get a VM and say "I have plans, lets try another day (nutshell)."
Later on Friday, I call her, and we have a little neg. hit/sarcasm battle on the phone. She is apparently in a bad mood, but I tease her and she me. At one point in the conversation she says, "You're probably going to cry after you hang up the phone." and I reply "No Im not, I have a backbone, I can take it, I don't care"
4th Date, Dinner Date, January (My feelings High but not as high as before, some skepticism in there)
Once I see her outside of the restaruant, she caught me by suprise as she hugged me her face was facing me like she was going to kiss me, and I missed the opportunity (another blunder).
As soon as the date begins she blitzes me with status report talk...
"Im so sorry that I've been keeping you at arm's length. I am doing this because I am not sure if I am going to stay in Boston or not. I miss my family...Its expensive here. But I have felt this way for a few years now. But there is the red-neck factor down there. So I can't guarantee you anything right now. If you are not comfortable with this pace, then you can move on to another girl if you want, and I'll understand." Later on in the date, "I'm not playing games, I definetly don't have te time to date someone else". After she reveals her cards I make a big blunder by revealing a card that I am not either. It was almost chemical, got too excited. She like "Oh, Im sure our friend will invite us over for dinner". She continues with some marriage minded talk about how her job is good for raising kids, wants to buy a big house, thus her hesitance to stay in Boston because of the expenses.
Anyways, I lighten things up during the date, then she volunteers out of the blue, "Oh I could date once per week, I promise to be better with the communication". As we walk out of the restaruant, she says, call me Wednesday.
So I call her Wednesday, leave a message, telling her to call me when she gets a chance, I didn't make any plans on the message. She doesn't call me for two days, and I start to get one-itis again, but not as strong as before. Nevetheless I cave a bit by sending her an email telling her that I know she is busy and she doesn't have to call me so quick. She responds saying she is so glad that I understand what she is going through, and "we'll be in touch". However, I fight off the one-itis pretty quick and I send her back a cold email basically saying that "Actually I have plans with weekend and projects next week, maybe we can get together next week, I'll call you".
I never called her or emailed her. Then the week of V-day, I left a message with her just saying "hi, keep in touch". Never heard back. V-day came and went and I did nothing. Deleted her number (again). My feelings were almost that of animosity. (At this point, when I leave messages, should I have a plan to state on the machine?) One-itis really didn't catch on this time. Seems like my feelings are building up some callous.
I date a couple of other girls, but I cut them loose because they bore me.
Anyways, last week, my friend told me, "Oh HB9 (she's back again!) says hi". So I called her yesterday and we talked and tentavely set up a date for next week. Though we haven't nailed down the plans yet, both are schedules are pretty busy.
Summary
I am continuing at this point because I see this as an excellent training excerise to build up callous and practice DJ techniques. Landing the girl at this point has become peripheral as my IL has gone down, and cynicism has gone up.
Positives:
-In the beginning I was cool.
-Dated a couple of 7's in the interim to practice some skills on them (keeping cool, being a mystery and controlled).
-Even though I got sever one-itis, I never let it make me panick and call her every day telling her I love her or something.
-Even when she blitzed me or told me negative stuff, I managed (barely) to stay cool on the outside.
Negatives:
-Let her get away with not calling me on Saturday. Only emailed after that, looking weak, her phone call frequency went down, as she probably took me for granted.
-Allowed her to put herself on the pedestal, like she is the only one making the choice with out me turning the tables and saying "hey, I am not sure about you either"
-Cracked after she didn't call me back for two days by sending her an email "not to worry".
-Didn't revert the "status" talk and cut it short to keep the dates as fun as possible.
Objectives
1. To continue to practice controlling myself around her. If I can finally do that with an HB9 that really rung my bell, I should be able to do it with any gir.
2. To try to turn the tables; in some indirect way, I have to let her know that she doesn't have me. The she is not on a pedastel. (Lost the hand after allowing her to get away with the blow off, and the call whenever you get a chance, wimpy ****)
3. Get her to laugh alot and give her alot of fun on the next date to increase the IL, so she forgets about her past and moving away.
Your loyal apprentice is once again seeking your council on trying to get the poon-tang from a fine HB9 I have on the backburner.
Keep in mind, that my initial contact with this girl was just around the time I had become aware of this website...so my game is sort of a work in progress. She is 26yo and I 28yo.
A quick & dirty background for reference:
1st Date *Setup with girl from out-of-town* October
Coffee date during the week, I was cool....calm....We payed our own way.
The only blunder I made however, was saying at the end of the date, "Maybe we can get together Sat or something..." Her reaction was as vague as my proposition.
*In the interim, we play phone tag as we are both busy with alot of crap and eventually set up another date, keeping calm, not putting her on pedastel*
2nd Date *Dinner Date* November
She is super excited, wearing perfume, but doesn't know how to dress well, kind of dissapointed. Says crap like, "Oh...you're so nice, this is going to work!!" I make her laugh with some funny stories but she does most of the talking. Looks away whenever she laughs; sign of shyness. At the end of the date, as we walk back she unexpectedly grabs and hugs me really hard, then squeezes my hands "OHHH!". Didn't even go for the kiss close cuz she caught be my suprise. I paid for dinner, but she says "Oh, I feel bad...I'll get the next one"
At the end of the date she says, "Lets get together Sat @7, my friend is having a fund-raiser party, I'll call you". Then she gives me her home phone and email add. She was going back to KY for the long holiday but said she would be back Sat.
*Sat comes and goes....no phone call!! I also lost her phone number. In my racing mind...I didn't know which route to take...so I just let it slide, never confronted her about it...but never panicked either. BIG BLUNDER HERE right guys!?*
*Sent her an email asking for her phone #, she gives it to me. Now, all we do is exchange emails. She says in one of the emails, "oh i was so glad to hear from you the other day...blah". Then in an email she says "We should get together next week, you don't have to drive in town, I'll be more than glad to meet you half way"...My IL starts getting higher, the pedastal thing starts creeping into my game*
3rd Date, Dinner Date, December
This time her energy level is down, and mine is down...feelings of AFC-ness from the previous weeks. I am definetly not on my game, don't make her laugh as much, though one comment made her say I was funny. She compliments me on the way I dress. At the end of the date, I simply say, "Think things are going pretty good so far". She responds with "Well, ya I wouldn't be on this date if I wasn't itnerested, ...blah blah blah...whole can of worms....but I want to take it slow, I don't want a relationship right now, I've dated guys in the past and next thing I know im in a R-ship, time will tell, lets take it slow...you'll have to beat up my exbf's.."
At this point, I just say, "yeah sure, Im mellow, no big deal..", but internally, my game is going south. We walk out to her car, awkward moment, but I didn't kiss close, he hug, I notice her smiling shyly as she realized Im not kiss closing, so I run my hands down her sides (thinking quick) and she has a glowing look on her, as she walks bacwards to my car.
She paid for the dinner because my B-day was in two days. She calls me 2 days later on my B day and tells me voluntarily how much she is enjoying getting to know me. Then she is like "blah blah, going to a company party, invitation only, would have brought you, but don't worry I won't cheat" (But I wasn't whining or anything on the phone, she just spits this out, but were not in an R-ship either!! Weird) At the end of the phone convo. I say we should try something different, she says sure, I'll call you next week.
Next week comes and its Thursday night, still haven't heard from her, so I call her and she says, "oh so good to hear from you, my fathers coming in town tomorrow blah blah", I cut the phone convo. short and say talk 2 u later.
*Xmas and NY's she goes to Puerto Rico with family*
A week after Ny's I give her a call and leave a funny/confident voice mail. However, one week goes by and nothing from her. So at this point, ONE ITIS kicks in big time, my game completly falls apart internally. I didn't stick with the DJ game plan. I delete her phone number from my cell. Start to pull myself out of a rut, then she calls me on Thur afternoon, a VM, asking me to call her, she is wondering what I'm doing the next day.
I get pissed, thinking I'm her insurance plan. So I don't call her Thur., I call her Fri, get a VM and say "I have plans, lets try another day (nutshell)."
Later on Friday, I call her, and we have a little neg. hit/sarcasm battle on the phone. She is apparently in a bad mood, but I tease her and she me. At one point in the conversation she says, "You're probably going to cry after you hang up the phone." and I reply "No Im not, I have a backbone, I can take it, I don't care"
4th Date, Dinner Date, January
(My feelings High but not as high as before, some skepticism in there)Once I see her outside of the restaruant, she caught me by suprise as she hugged me her face was facing me like she was going to kiss me, and I missed the opportunity (another blunder).
As soon as the date begins she blitzes me with status report talk...
"Im so sorry that I've been keeping you at arm's length. I am doing this because I am not sure if I am going to stay in Boston or not. I miss my family...Its expensive here. But I have felt this way for a few years now. But there is the red-neck factor down there. So I can't guarantee you anything right now. If you are not comfortable with this pace, then you can move on to another girl if you want, and I'll understand." Later on in the date, "I'm not playing games, I definetly don't have te time to date someone else". After she reveals her cards I make a big blunder by revealing a card that I am not either. It was almost chemical, got too excited. She like "Oh, Im sure our friend will invite us over for dinner". She continues with some marriage minded talk about how her job is good for raising kids, wants to buy a big house, thus her hesitance to stay in Boston because of the expenses.
Anyways, I lighten things up during the date, then she volunteers out of the blue, "Oh I could date once per week, I promise to be better with the communication". As we walk out of the restaruant, she says, call me Wednesday.
So I call her Wednesday, leave a message, telling her to call me when she gets a chance, I didn't make any plans on the message. She doesn't call me for two days, and I start to get one-itis again, but not as strong as before. Nevetheless I cave a bit by sending her an email telling her that I know she is busy and she doesn't have to call me so quick. She responds saying she is so glad that I understand what she is going through, and "we'll be in touch". However, I fight off the one-itis pretty quick and I send her back a cold email basically saying that "Actually I have plans with weekend and projects next week, maybe we can get together next week, I'll call you".
I never called her or emailed her. Then the week of V-day, I left a message with her just saying "hi, keep in touch". Never heard back. V-day came and went and I did nothing. Deleted her number (again). My feelings were almost that of animosity. (At this point, when I leave messages, should I have a plan to state on the machine?) One-itis really didn't catch on this time. Seems like my feelings are building up some callous.
I date a couple of other girls, but I cut them loose because they bore me.
Anyways, last week, my friend told me, "Oh HB9 (she's back again!) says hi". So I called her yesterday and we talked and tentavely set up a date for next week. Though we haven't nailed down the plans yet, both are schedules are pretty busy.
Summary
I am continuing at this point because I see this as an excellent training excerise to build up callous and practice DJ techniques. Landing the girl at this point has become peripheral as my IL has gone down, and cynicism has gone up.
Positives:
-In the beginning I was cool.
-Dated a couple of 7's in the interim to practice some skills on them (keeping cool, being a mystery and controlled).
-Even though I got sever one-itis, I never let it make me panick and call her every day telling her I love her or something.
-Even when she blitzed me or told me negative stuff, I managed (barely) to stay cool on the outside.
Negatives:
-Let her get away with not calling me on Saturday. Only emailed after that, looking weak, her phone call frequency went down, as she probably took me for granted.
-Allowed her to put herself on the pedestal, like she is the only one making the choice with out me turning the tables and saying "hey, I am not sure about you either"
-Cracked after she didn't call me back for two days by sending her an email "not to worry".
-Didn't revert the "status" talk and cut it short to keep the dates as fun as possible.
Objectives
1. To continue to practice controlling myself around her. If I can finally do that with an HB9 that really rung my bell, I should be able to do it with any gir.
2. To try to turn the tables; in some indirect way, I have to let her know that she doesn't have me. The she is not on a pedastel. (Lost the hand after allowing her to get away with the blow off, and the call whenever you get a chance, wimpy ****)
3. Get her to laugh alot and give her alot of fun on the next date to increase the IL, so she forgets about her past and moving away.