Second thoughts about ending relatuonship

[Snag87]

I started dating a girl off Hinge in October and we made the decision to become exclusive in January. I'd say I'm a 7 or 7.5 and she's a 5 or 5.5, so we were a good match. Ideal SMV gap; she felt I was a catch and I was just happy to have a sweet girl who didn't put me through a ton of BS. I didn't see her that much over the course of our relationship, mainly due to her being busy working as an accountant. Ultimately we ended things when I moved out of state. In her own words "I left her because she works too much".



I've since settled into the new digs and started the OLD carousel of flakes, one night stands, first dates to nowhere, etc. She ended up quitting her job and moving back in with her parents. We still follow each other on social media and I see no evidence of a new partner.



I have to admit, I'm having second thoughts as to whether I made the correct decision. Is there anyway I can contact her and open the possibility of getting back together without completely shifting the balance of power in her favor?

 

[Bingo-Player]

she felt I was a catch and I was just happy to have a sweet girl who didn't put me through a ton of BS.

This dynamic will not work long term in a relationship it's just not enough to sustain one over a long period of time .....it just sounds like your both settling for whatever you can get

She's a 5 they aren't exactly diamond rare with regards to the sweet thing most 4/5/ and some 6's will usually adapt their personalities to suit a guy who's several points higher I've even seen 7's do it for the right man

If your happy fishing in them waters i have no doubt another one will appear very shortly for you

 

[Barrister]

I started dating a girl off Hinge in October and we made the decision to become exclusive in January. I'd say I'm a 7 or 7.5 and she's a 5 or 5.5, so we were a good match. Ideal SMV gap; she felt I was a catch and I was just happy to have a sweet girl who didn't put me through a ton of BS. I didn't see her that much over the course of our relationship, mainly due to her being busy working as an accountant. Ultimately we ended things when I moved out of state. In her own words "I left her because she works too much".



I've since settled into the new digs and started the OLD carousel of flakes, one night stands, first dates to nowhere, etc. She ended up quitting her job and moving back in with her parents. We still follow each other on social media and I see no evidence of a new partner.



I have to admit, I'm having second thoughts as to whether I made the correct decision. Is there anyway I can contact her and open the possibility of getting back together without completely shifting the balance of power in her favor?

Very rarely does going back ever work out. Your logical self ended the relationship for good reasons. Don't try to put the toothpaste back in the tube as they say at this point. Not only is it never as good a second time, but it likely will end again anyway. You made the correct decision based off the information you gave here. There are better women and more ideal situations out there for you.

 

[Snag87]

She sounds like a catch.

I have to admit, money is not a concern to me.

 

[Snag87]

Whenever I read stuff similar to this on this forum, my troll senses start tingling.

You have no problem being this girl's sugardaddy, from the sound of it, and you've been a member here since 2019. These two things together tell me all I need to know about you.

Take care.

Huh??? I never spent a dime on her.

 

[Snag87]

You said 'money is not a concern to me' in response to me saying she sounds like a catch for quitting her job.

You made it sound like you have no problem supporting her if you decide to go back to her.

I'm not going to support her, and I'd be very surprised if she asked me to. She'd been contemplating quitting her job for months. I doubt she's planning on being unemployed permanently...

 

[Glassguy]

Shes a 5.
You didnt see her much over several months.
You were "just happy to have a sweet girl who didnt put you through BS"....
You moved out of state.

Maybe we should talk about your standards and what you truly feel is realistic for a LTR in regards to dynamics that actually work and those that dont work. That seems more fitting.

Seriously man- increase your standards, go work on yourself and find someone better that has the dynamics to actually be realistic in a relationship.

 

[Snag87]

Shes a 5.
You didnt see her much over several months.
You were "just happy to have a sweet girl who didnt put you through BS"....
You moved out of state.

Maybe we should talk about your standards and what you truly feel is realistic for a LTR in regards to dynamics that actually work and those that dont work. That seems more fitting.

Seriously man- increase your standards, go work on yourself and find someone better that has the dynamics to actually be realistic in a relationship.

I subscribe to the ideology of maintaining a SMV gap in a relationship in order to satisfy female hypergamy. Sure, I could pursue a female 7, however, she wouldn't view me as a catch and would eventually look to monkey branch.

I would never argue against self-improvement and raising ones SMV, but everyone has a ceiling. I think I'd top out as an 8. If I were an 8 I wouldn't pursue an LTR with a women over 6.5.

 

[Barrister]

Shes a 5.
You didnt see her much over several months.
You were "just happy to have a sweet girl who didnt put you through BS"....
You moved out of state.

Maybe we should talk about your standards and what you truly feel is realistic for a LTR in regards to dynamics that actually work and those that dont work. That seems more fitting.

Seriously man- increase your standards, go work on yourself and find someone better that has the dynamics to actually be realistic in a relationship.

If he was completely happy then good for him. I don't see anything wrong with it. However, it is clear that he wasn't happy with it or he would have made it work.

 

[Snag87]

Dude you are seriously an irritable person.

Judging by his handle, he has no qualms acknowledging it...

 

[Snag87]

If he was completely happy then good for him. I don't see anything wrong with it. However, it is clear that he wasn't happy with it or he would have made it work.

I definitely wasn't happy, primarily because I felt she prioritized her career over me.

 

[Barrister]

I definitely wasn't happy, primarily because I felt she prioritized her career over me.

Bingo. I have dealt with this in an LTR with a career-oriented woman as well. Let me say this again: you made the right call.

There are way better options out there, brother. Keep seeing other women and working on self-improvement. You will be fine.

 

[Snag87]

Bingo. I have dealt with this in an LTR with a career-oriented woman as well. Let me say this again: you made the right call.

There are way better options out there, brother. Keep seeing other women and working on self-improvement. You will be fine.

Thanks. I was thinking things might be different as she was taking a break. However, eventually she'd find a new job and in all likelihood I'd be back in the same position.

 

[bat soup]

I started dating a girl off Hinge in October and we made the decision to become exclusive in January. I'd say I'm a 7 or 7.5 and she's a 5 or 5.5, so we were a good match. Ideal SMV gap; she felt I was a catch and I was just happy to have a sweet girl who didn't put me through a ton of BS. I didn't see her that much over the course of our relationship, mainly due to her being busy working as an accountant. Ultimately we ended things when I moved out of state. In her own words "I left her because she works too much".



I've since settled into the new digs and started the OLD carousel of flakes, one night stands, first dates to nowhere, etc. She ended up quitting her job and moving back in with her parents. We still follow each other on social media and I see no evidence of a new partner.



I have to admit, I'm having second thoughts as to whether I made the correct decision. Is there anyway I can contact her and open the possibility of getting back together without completely shifting the balance of power in her favor?

You want to get back with a 5? Don't bother, man. There are plenty of much better looking women around. If you stay alone for long enough you'll start to see the advantages.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Whenever I read stuff similar to this on this forum, my troll senses start tingling.

You have no problem being this girl's sugardaddy, from the sound of it, and you've been a member here since 2019. These two things together tell me all I need to know about you.

Take care.

It's one thing to be a sugar daddy...but a sugar daddy to a 5?? That's just embarrassing.

 

[Lookatu]

I definitely wasn't happy, primarily because I felt she prioritized her career over me.

This is just the tip of the iceberg and be glad you ended it. Career is only one aspect of it. If you stayed together with her long enough, you'd see there would be many things she would prioritize over you.

SMV aside, you gotta find a women that will follow YOU and accommodate you with you being a priority in her life. If you don't sense that, don't waste time on girls that don't or won't.

The plates I currently have will continue remaining to be plates and nothing more simply because of similar things for example.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This will never work long term because you are settling and trying to make excuses as to why you are.

Deep down you don't believe it and neither do we.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Been there done that. NEXT

Pretty ballsy to hook up with broad in a pandemic. I have to give you that.

Summer is here & sh*ts open back up. There's plenty of hungry broads out there.
Honestly sounds like you need to work on yourself. Noway in hell I'd go below a 6, that's just crazy talk.