Second chance after one-year separation ?

[WarMachine]

Does anybody believe that a couple can rekindle their love and succeed in a their relationship after a long separation of 1 year.

Initially the guy decided to break up this LTR of 2 years after he witnessed a change in the behavior of the girl (she was not pleasant anymore, she was sulking, getting cold) in the latter weeks.

After the breakup, the girl tried to reconcile several times ( 5 tentatives over a year) , but he has always said no until now.

 

[member160292]

I'm inclined to say they will revert back to their old ways, unless you keep them as a plate for at least a year. Once they understand they are just an option, you can try to groom them into what you want them to be. I haven't done it so not sure about the outcome, but I'm in the process of that now.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hard to say, nothing is so black and white. Depends on so many factors:

1) What was/were the reason/s for their break up? Change in her behavior is very vague.
2) How much they grew individually during this 1 year apart? What kind of self-development did they have over this time?
3) Did they date anyone during this time? If so, how far/deep was that?
4) More importantly, are they still aligned in life vision, goals, etc, etc?

Again, it is hard to say whether it will work out or not. However, if you want us to generalize these types of situations, then no, it rarely works out. Either the problems are still there, or one or both of the persons have not gone through the growth needed to rekindle, or simply that ship has sailed and the attraction/emotion is gone.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

 

[Dr.Suave]

The are exceptions but generally it doesnt work. Not worth a try.

 

[Gamisch]

I'm inclined to say they will revert back to their old ways, unless you keep them as a plate for at least a year. Once they understand they are just an option, you can try to groom them into what you want them to be. I haven't done it so not sure about the outcome, but I'm in the process of that now.

I agree. It is dumb to think you are just " picking thing up where you left them" and be happily ever after.

But perhaps , when you plate her and aways keep her at arm lenght she might notice the difference and be more open to adjust herself overtime.

She wants her job back , or came back for that are item, and its possible to get it for her, but not with the same ,conditions and advantages as before. The price just went up while she left,the man is now even more valuable! If she doesn't like this, then I use
N'sync 's famous words ; "baby bey bey bey"

 

[SW15]

There is no reason for that relationship to resume after a 1 year separation.

 

[bmp2cpm]

I believe it is possible.

My ex-BIL broke up with his long-term live-in girlfriend.

Smart guy, great personality, fun to be around but for whatever reason dropped out of college several times and could never hold a job. Generally, he never had a career of any kind.

His girlfriend got sick of his lack of commitment, broke up with him, and moved out.

Less than 2 years later she married some new guy. Less than 2 years after that she divorced her husband, got back with my ex-BIL, married ex-BIL, and had 2 children with ex-BIL.

To this day, he still doesn’t work. But they seem happy together.

In summary, given enough time it may very well happen.