screwed up with girl, can you help with damage recovery?

[the_gunslinger]

right guys, i'll keep this simple. went out last nite with a few mates from school who i havnt seen for about a year. girl i liked was there, got chatting, was definitely getting signs of interest. went to a bar called flares (60s bar) and bought her a drink, asked what she was doing this week, she said nothing, i asked her out, she said no, drank up and spent rest of night dancing with another (blatantly camp i might add) guy.
I tried to apologise but all i got was a gutteral grunt as she walked past me. i had to be at work early so i left before they went to club, but all of a sudden my big gob opens up and shouts "I'll see you all later, emma, sorry if i upset you, bye".

so the question is, what do i do from here. its obvious i screwed up, but the real question is how do i apologise in such a way that we can stay friends, because she's actually a sound girl. obviously i could go for other girls, but i'd rather have this girl as a friend than nothing at all.

any help would be awesome

 

[spanky]

What in the hell did you do wrong besides by her a drink and apologize for no reason at all?

 

[the_gunslinger]

you know spanky, i have no idea. she's one of these sensitive types.

in retrospect it was probably a bad idea to buy her a drink in the first place, maybe it seemed like i bought her something and i expected something in return, you know what the female mind is like, never logical.

so do i leave it or what?

 

[iqqi]

she just used you to buy her a drink, then didn't even have enough respect for you to treat you like a human being afterwards. this says REALLY bad things about her, btw. as for you:

are you reading the bible?

 

[squirrels]

1) NEVER apologize for asking a girl out. You're doing something that's natural. If she says "no", you haven't done anything WRONG. Apologies are reserved for times when you seriously offend/hurt/scare a girl...and even then, only when you REALLY know you f'ed up.

When you asked her what she was doing, you should've waited for her to respond. What did she do, just turn away and ignore the question? If she did that, I'd say the hell with her...go find a girl who learned manners and conversational skills.

A flat-out "no" isn't much of a sign of interest. At that point, you should probably just move on. It's possible you misread the signs, or maybe she's just weird and felt some need to string you along. Either way, you can't wait around for her to change her mind. Focus your attention elsewhere. In other words, NEXT her.

But don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. If she got offended because you asked her out, then something isn't right in the head and you'd probably be in for some troubled times anyway.

What does "blatantly camp" mean? Let her dance with another guy. Go dance with other girls. If there's any interest at all (which it doesn't sound like there is), when she sees you're not going to get jealous and panicky or waste time on her (if this is some kind of bizarro biatch test), then she'll come back. If not, you're dancing with other girls! AND having a great time. Why waste it on one psycho chick?

But you don't care...there are plenty of women out there who can appreciate your sexual worthiness. You made your pass, she rejected you. If she wants you NOW, then SHE has to win YOU. Not vice-versa.

Although at this point you may just want to move on, or at least make yourself scarce for a while. If it WAS a bizarro biatch test, then you failed it miserably. Not like you give two s**ts about failing it, it was a stupid test anyway. YOu're a DJ...you've got better things to do.

 

[iqqi]

she's one of these sensitive types

sensitive types my ass. shes a ****ing b!tch.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by the_gunslinger
right guys, i'll keep this simple. went out last nite with a few mates from school who i havnt seen for about a year. girl i liked was there, got chatting, was definitely getting signs of interest. went to a bar called flares (60s bar) and bought her a drink, asked what she was doing this week, she said nothing, i asked her out, she said no, drank up and spent rest of night dancing with another (blatantly camp i might add) guy.
I tried to apologise but all i got was a gutteral grunt as she walked past me. i had to be at work early so i left before they went to club, but all of a sudden my big gob opens up and shouts "I'll see you all later, emma, sorry if i upset you, bye".

so the question is, what do i do from here. its obvious i screwed up, but the real question is how do i apologise in such a way that we can stay friends, because she's actually a sound girl. obviously i could go for other girls, but i'd rather have this girl as a friend than nothing at all.

any help would be awesome

this is very upsetting, no wonder this chick burnt you.
* dont buy chicks drinks, unless your already banging them and shes outta money and dying of thirst.
* dont ever apologize for your sexuality
* DONT BUY CHICKS DRINKS

 

[PANK]

(.) (.) you are a true man ya make all us blokes proud lad well done

 

[BGMan]

Titsman has it down solid. I'll add another one to that.

* Instead of buying her drinks like every other AFC would do, instead chat her up, get her number and get the h*ll out of there.

BGMan

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by the_gunslinger
so the question is, what do i do from here. its obvious i screwed up, but the real question is how do i apologise in such a way that we can stay friends, because she's actually a sound girl. obviously i could go for other girls, but i'd rather have this girl as a friend than nothing at all.

Either you're dellusional, and have left out an important pice of information or this chick as a complete cow and should be forgotten about immediately.

She's "Actually a sound girl", please! If she were she would have turned you down nicely and not been a stuck-up *****!

You want her as a friend? Would you be friends with a GUY who treats you like **** and has no respect for you?

You just want her as a friend cos' you like her. Trust me, I know, I've been down that road way to often. Then I move on and 6 months down the line, I ask myself "Now that you're over X, do you care that you two aren't friends? Would you like to be X's friend?". My answer "NO!"

If the chick will make a decent friend, move on, meet someone else, get into a relationship and THEN continue your friendship. Otherwise you're just going to destroy your self-esteem by hanging with a chick you want to bone, but who's slot is OCCUPIED by some other dude's boner.

Don't take crap from people, you respect yourself too much for that!

Santos

 

[ds28]

There's something very odd about this thread - its seems like its missing important bits of information. I think Santos has summed it up pretty well.

You say that you were "definitely getting signs of interest" but if you were definitely getting signs of interest why did she say "no" when you asked her out. You should think about whether you've misread her signals. Some girls as flirty anyway and being friendly isn't the same as being romantically / sexually interested in you. So you test the water - you get her digits or ask her out. She said "no". That its dude - that the end of the game for you. Its confirmed when she spends the rest of the evening with the other guy. If she was interested in YOU she would spend the evening with YOU or at least chatting to you. Words whisper, actions shout.

As for the rest of your post, it just gets fvcking weird. Why are you apologizing to her? What exactly did you? If all you did was ask her out for a date or a drink why the fvck do you say "it's obvious [you] screwed up"?

You might want to try explaining this one in a bit more detail next time.