WORKEROUTER
Master Don Juan
screw skinnyguy.net (note: this was originally to be posted on the skinny.net thread, but i decided it was too fukkin good to be on someone elses thread so i made my own)
sure, its fine advice..BUT YOU DONT NEED TO SPEND ALL THAT MONEY ON IT.
how bout you pay me 50 bucks and ill write up everything you need to get big?
its really not too complicated...all the muscle mags and scientific articles are what complicate it.
since im a nice guy, im not gona charge you 50 bucks. ill give you the three easy steps FOR FREE. thats right, for fukkin free!
here they are:
1) train heavy, with COMPOUND movements.
2) SLEEP..your body needs the rest to grow
3) EAT..keep your metabolism up by trying to space up your meals, and include some carbs and protein in each meal
now of course, this is a mere backbone..but it IS THE BACKBONE. there are many intricate little details here..the following questions will arise:
1) but WORKEROUTER what the fukk are compound movements and WHY are they better
ANSWER: because they utilize the most muscle groups, newbie. so forget your girly db curls for now and head over to the deadlift bar. the only compound movements a newbie should be concerned with are the squat, deadlift, bent over rows, military press, widegrip pullups, bench press.
2)but WORKEROUTER how often do i workout?
ANSWER: you workout with a good split. being a newbie, your not as strong as me, and thus arent as able as me to have as extreme a workout. HOWEVER THE INTENSITY LEVEL SHOULD BE THE SAME. when i did deadlifts today, my whole fukkin shirt was soaked after the first 10 mintues of working out..CUZ I WAS GOING INTENSE. your shirt better be soaking too, or im going to call you a p*ssy and kick your ass back to the nautilus machines with all the other poseurs! as a newbie start working out 3 days a week, alternating between upper and lower body, and giving your body AT LEAST A DAY in between working out. work out for about an hour..if your not tired and crawling out the door because of how sore you are after working out for an hour, then im going to call you a p*ssy.
3) but WORKEROUTER this is too hard for me...i want something easy, like those commercials advertising the no stress way to get big.
ANSWER: stop being a poseur. theres no easy road to anything in life...and yes, that includes bodybuilding. if you wana be a bigboy, then you gota train like a bigboy.
4) WORKEROUTER i dont know how to do any complex lifts.
ANSWER: go to the library and get a bodybuilding book, go search on the internet, and ask KNOWLEDGABLE people at the gym...not the little fairy who claims himself to be a trainer.
6) what should be included for the bodyparts?
ANSWER:
LEGS: squats, calf raises
i often do up to 6 sets of squats, and 6 sets of calf raises
BACK: deadlift, bent over rows, wide grip pullups
ARMS: barbell bicep curl, dumbbell bicep curl*, close grip tricep benches, skullcrushers*, forearm curls*
CHEST: bench press, incline bench press, decline bench press, cable rows*
ABS: situps, crunches, hanging leg raises
SHOULDERS: military press, arnold press, shrugs, lateral raises*
NECK: you dont need to be concerned about this
NOTE: the ones wit a star are ones you do not need to be concerned about yet.
7) what kinds of food should i eat?
ANSWER: whole grain foods, chicken breasts, steaks, potatoes, eggs, OATMEAL, tuna, milk, cheese, all veggies and fruits except soy, because soy increases estrogen levels.
i could go into more detail, but im tired (from working out).
now you guys can save that money and give it to me instead.
NOTE: i gathered this information all my own thru months of training, experimenting, and reading.
sure, its fine advice..BUT YOU DONT NEED TO SPEND ALL THAT MONEY ON IT.
how bout you pay me 50 bucks and ill write up everything you need to get big?
its really not too complicated...all the muscle mags and scientific articles are what complicate it.
since im a nice guy, im not gona charge you 50 bucks. ill give you the three easy steps FOR FREE. thats right, for fukkin free!
here they are:
1) train heavy, with COMPOUND movements.
2) SLEEP..your body needs the rest to grow
3) EAT..keep your metabolism up by trying to space up your meals, and include some carbs and protein in each meal
now of course, this is a mere backbone..but it IS THE BACKBONE. there are many intricate little details here..the following questions will arise:
1) but WORKEROUTER what the fukk are compound movements and WHY are they better
ANSWER: because they utilize the most muscle groups, newbie. so forget your girly db curls for now and head over to the deadlift bar. the only compound movements a newbie should be concerned with are the squat, deadlift, bent over rows, military press, widegrip pullups, bench press.
2)but WORKEROUTER how often do i workout?
ANSWER: you workout with a good split. being a newbie, your not as strong as me, and thus arent as able as me to have as extreme a workout. HOWEVER THE INTENSITY LEVEL SHOULD BE THE SAME. when i did deadlifts today, my whole fukkin shirt was soaked after the first 10 mintues of working out..CUZ I WAS GOING INTENSE. your shirt better be soaking too, or im going to call you a p*ssy and kick your ass back to the nautilus machines with all the other poseurs! as a newbie start working out 3 days a week, alternating between upper and lower body, and giving your body AT LEAST A DAY in between working out. work out for about an hour..if your not tired and crawling out the door because of how sore you are after working out for an hour, then im going to call you a p*ssy.
3) but WORKEROUTER this is too hard for me...i want something easy, like those commercials advertising the no stress way to get big.
ANSWER: stop being a poseur. theres no easy road to anything in life...and yes, that includes bodybuilding. if you wana be a bigboy, then you gota train like a bigboy.
4) WORKEROUTER i dont know how to do any complex lifts.
ANSWER: go to the library and get a bodybuilding book, go search on the internet, and ask KNOWLEDGABLE people at the gym...not the little fairy who claims himself to be a trainer.
6) what should be included for the bodyparts?
ANSWER:
LEGS: squats, calf raises
i often do up to 6 sets of squats, and 6 sets of calf raises
BACK: deadlift, bent over rows, wide grip pullups
ARMS: barbell bicep curl, dumbbell bicep curl*, close grip tricep benches, skullcrushers*, forearm curls*
CHEST: bench press, incline bench press, decline bench press, cable rows*
ABS: situps, crunches, hanging leg raises
SHOULDERS: military press, arnold press, shrugs, lateral raises*
NECK: you dont need to be concerned about this
NOTE: the ones wit a star are ones you do not need to be concerned about yet.
7) what kinds of food should i eat?
ANSWER: whole grain foods, chicken breasts, steaks, potatoes, eggs, OATMEAL, tuna, milk, cheese, all veggies and fruits except soy, because soy increases estrogen levels.
i could go into more detail, but im tired (from working out).
now you guys can save that money and give it to me instead.
NOTE: i gathered this information all my own thru months of training, experimenting, and reading.
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