Scared of Cold Approaches. Here is why

[SnoopDoggyCow]

Im scared the girl will have a boyfriend who will be close by and will get in my face or even take a swing at me.

Is it really worth it????

 

[Fenderules]

yeah i'v had that happen b4 at clubs, they start **** and stuff. I just get a bouncer to kick them out even if i could kick the guys ass. There are wayyyyyyy to many stabbings these days and its not worth it.

Othere then these times i'v never got into ****.....and i'v never been beaten up. Back in highschool one guy threatened me and i was afc about it. he never did touch me.....just threatned me on masn. If that happened to me today i woulda laughed it off and not taken **** from him. He threatened me over saying she had a "nice ass" so he was doing it mainly to see if i acted like a little *****....which i did.

 

[Don_Marko]

is it worth being a wanker you whole life?

 

[Alpine]

If they're not obviously with someone then go for it. If some ape comes over, put your hands up and walk away.

You'll never get anywhere unless you overcome fears like this.

 

[Happiness Renewed]

THATS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON!

Just tell the dude hes done quite well for himself.

or just be like. "Sorry, I apologize."

Say it in a "not looking for trouble" kind of way...damn, its hard to explain.

Dont let something stupid like that hold you back.

 

[catch]

ive hit on a few girls that had bfs, and twice ive been shouted at by rowdy guys, i just put my hands up an say i didnt know, sorry dude an walk away..

once a guy said, " hey man, thats my girl",( he was a giant)
"oh right, ok does she have a twin sister? ha ha ha"

an we just started joking around at the bar, man they both were cool people, they even introduced me to there friends...

snoopy you are ok to hit on any girl you want, its fun for them as much as it is for you, if they do have a fella then its ok, because you dont know if they have or havent, thats one of the reasons you hit on a girl.. to find out if shes free...

still, i always carry pepper in my top left.. thow it in there eyes if they shout at you talking to there girl...

 

[spidersense]

Originally posted by Happiness Renewed
THATS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON!

Just tell the dude hes done quite well for himself.

or just be like. "Sorry, I apologize."

Say it in a "not looking for trouble" kind of way...damn, its hard to explain.

Dont let something stupid like that hold you back.

agreed. what what you're affraid of is a huge fear, but in all likelyhood, if you just appoligize and say, "hey, I didn't know she had a boyfriend" the guy will be understanding and not pound your face into the ground. there is pretty much no situation when approaching a woman that you can't talk your way out of. As long as you're not like "you know, I just really wanted to **** your girlfriend and hoped that her boyfriend wasn't around so that we could go and do the horizontal limbo right now" then he's not going to bother you. I've never had a problem with a psycho boyfriend, actually, I think that most guys appreciate it, they feel like they really need to hold onto this girl because every other guy wants her too.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by SnoopDoggyCow
Im scared the girl will have a boyfriend who will be close by and will get in my face or even take a swing at me.

Is it really worth it????

wow. Don't you think that is realy jumping to conclusions?
sounds like you are making this crap up so you don't have to face rejection.

Have you ever been in fight before? Ever get punched? Ever punch someone out? I hope you have. damn.. you shouldn't be afraid of some guy trying to knock you out.

Second, girls that go to clubs usually don't go with their boyfriends. They go there to get hit on and to meet guys. They want you to hit on them. Just be friendly and say hi. What can be so wrong with that?

You need to start off just being friendly to girls. Take one step at a time. When you see a girl at a bar, make eye contact, smile, say hello.. The next step is to strike a conversation with her. But I suggest in your case that you just keep it really simple. Buy yourself a drink, turn around, smile at her, and ask her if she is having a good time. Do that a few times and say very little.


Just remember. Girls will give you anit-slut defence and the I have a boyfriend line. Read up on these.

 

[*29*]

If you were the girl's boyfriend and you saw some other guy trying to hit on her you could either be insecure and jealous and start shlt.

Or you could be cool about it and watch him play his stupid games and crash and burn.

Now if the boyfriend does start shlt, he's insecure and a wuss. If he's huge, you're fvcked.

If the boyfriend is laid back about it, you're fvcked.

If you still fail, go buy some vasoline and get real friendly with the bathtub.

 

[Caldus]

Well I don't like the cold approach because it just makes you seem desperate but that's just me. I would rather just meet her and get to know her before asking her if she is single. Speaking of meeting girls, what is the best way to meet a girl at a college? Through classes or what? I've tried meeting some from classes but never any success.

 

[00Kevin]

guys, don't let rejection from a woman bother you.

What if we lived in a culture where women tested your worth by punching you in the gut? I'll bet you would fine with it. You would walk right up to that girl and say "bring it on. Give me your best shot! Common punch me a gain you can't hurt me."


Well that is all women in our modern society do with the words they say. Some just punch harder then others.

Guys... come on. realy it is just a woman flaping her mouth.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Caldus
Well I don't like the cold approach because it just makes you seem desperate but that's just me. I would rather just meet her and get to know her before asking her if she is single. Speaking of meeting girls, what is the best way to meet a girl at a college? Through classes or what? I've tried meeting some from classes but never any success.

oh.. no... I used to do that. you won't get any place. You have to realize that EVERY girl wants you to hit on them. That all they want. That is how they want to feel. They want something to tell their friends. Hiting on a girl tells her that you have confidence and that she is attractive.

 

[Derek Flint]

I've been clubbing for years, and this type of thing rarely happens, unless you go to clubs that have a lot of punks and wannabe thugs.

 

[Caldus]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
oh.. no... I used to do that. you won't get any place. You have to realize that EVERY girl wants you to hit on them. That all they want. That is how they want to feel. They want something to tell their friends. Hiting on a girl tells her that you have confidence and that she is attractive.

Hmmm. Well I guess you're right. That makes sense. But where do I go to meet them and stuff? Where can a 19 year old like me go? I can't go to bars. I've tried clubbing a few times but never have much success there either.

 

[SnoopDoggyCow]

I guess you guys are right.

The thing is that Ive been in so many situations, clubs, book stores, work, school where a girl looked like she was alone, and then maybe 5 minutes later I'd see her boyfriend come up to her.

I always thought to myself, whew Im glad I didnt approach her.

This kind of is the opposite of the 3 second rule, which would make you talk to a girl when you first notice her.

Pimping aint easy.

 

[Cocky-Blond-Guy]

Well I wouldn't be too afraid man. I've gotten in some fights... I've won some, lost some. Its not that big of a deal. Half the time if you fight someone you end up being friends w/ them later on anyways.

My only rec. is that if you do end up getting in some ****, hit them and not property. I hit someone's property (the dudes friend's truck...) and i almost got charged with a felony. Turns out that in most states if you see someone beating the crap out of property that isn't theirs, you can use any force neccessary to stop them.

Ugh...thats what happened to me.

Anyways I wouldn't sweat it. Yah, someone might get in your face, but it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Just make sure that you don't come off as if you were intimidated. Push back some if you need to.

ONTH, that might not be the best advice. The best advice would be to just walk away. But w/e.

 

[tihash]

I don’t know what kind of environment you may be in, but any civilized person (who is not drunk or a wack-job) would back down if you said, “Hey, you’re a lucky guy. I didn’t know she was single.” I think for many guys, this is just another “excuse” not to approach.

 

[SnoopDoggyCow]

Thats the thing, not everyone in the world is civilized. There are a lot of jealous, crazy, pyscho people just looking for a reason to hit someone.

I really haven't been in a serious fight, so I guess im kind of scared of the unknown.

Im most scared of getting in trouble with the police, then going to jail and getting raped.

or

I am scared of getting my face messed up. I am a good looking guy.

Like one time I was in a club, I was kind of drunk, I accidently bumped into some guy, and he pushed me. He was with his friends, and I didn't want to get jumped, so I just didnt do anything. I did feel like crap though afterwards, wishing I might have done something.

Also 1 time I was at this club, and I saw this girl outside.

I asked her if she was cold and her stocky boyfriend got in my face and was staring at me hard. She told him "its ok its ok, lets go" and I said to him, "I was just asking her if she was cold" he kept staring at me though. I was with a few friends, so I started staring back at him hard and my friends convinved me to walk away. He looked like he was ready to swing.


Damn this sucks....

 

[tihash]

I see how you would be more concerned in a bar/club. But usually if you check out the place for a minute or 2 you can see the dynamics. In daytime outside of a bar/club atmosphere, I don't see much risk at all. The girl should be flattered and so should the guy. Just be friendly and tell him he got himself a good catch, smile, and walk away.

 

[Double J]

I think a girl that is around her female friends is more likely to be single.