Scarcity mindset is not a negative thinking pattern when it is based in reality most of the time

[Hamurabimbi]

I’m assuming ‘Oneitis’ just means a woman you are in love with & want to the excusion of others. Correct?

 

[Gamisch]

True.



How is it?

As I said; a shyte show.

Being bluepilled is the best state to be in for a man.the only condition is that your woman celebrates your bluepilled-ness. As long as that's the case, you good. You can be bluepilled for life in that scenario.

The broken man game means any other " pill". Being redpilled means you inherently don't trust women, and that will ALWAYS seep through. I mean, the bar seemingly is set at men actually paying rent and holidays for women ,so my " I don't go beyond 25 bucks on a first date" style isn't appealing to the opposite sex and I get that.

On top of that I am also quite strict when it comes to red flags. High body count, certain type of exes, being NEET or bad with money, hygiene routines, overall intelligence. All deal breakers that occurs quite often unfortunately.

Whats left are women that are one step away from complete self destruction. I even contemplate visiting hookers to skip the BS...

 

[Solomon]

I get where OP is coming from the main issue though is scarcity can cripple you, scarcity will have you settle for a subpar life, a woman who is supbar i.e. you're not attracted to her for example. Working a subpar job etc. Scarcity is the number 1 dream killer when it comes to men. I know some guys who had massive potential but they let laziness, kill their drive. How many of us know a guy in his late 20s or even 30s living with his parents not working, playing video games every day but whining about not having a hot girlfriend? I know one and that's one too many I make it a point not to hang out with that person to much

No matter what your state, you can always improve.

If you work on building social skills, career skills, health etc., as a constant discipline, you'll develop an abundance mindset over time.



I would suggest creating and consistently maintaining an abundance mindset is a key element of a successful life.

The problem is that calling it a "mindset" leads to thinking it can easily be adopted for quick results.

It's a lifelong endeavor, one most aren't willing to pursue.

I've been on both sides, The guy who could not get a date to save his life or even a fattie to the guy who was rotating 4 different women and having one call upset to say "We need to spend more time together" trying to explain abundance to someone who has never experienced it is like trying to explain what it feels like to become a first-time millionaire. You simply can't, certain things you can describe sure but it's a different when a person experinces these things for themselves. When you have abundance it's like a domino effect where you become more confident and bold this isn't just with women but also for other areas in life in general. Does this mean you will always have 4 women vying for your attention? hell no, but it certainly does give you a frame of reference that if you have done it once you can certainly do it again!

No, it's that you just haven't gone out and actually created abundance for yourself.

Nobody said life is easy. That's the problem these days...if it isn't easy, nobody wants to work to get it.

But that's life. It's a competition in some way, shape or form just about with everything.

Essentially, most guys want to just take themselves out of the competition because 'its too hard'.

Everyone has challenges in life in different areas. Some people might not do well with women. Some might not do well with money. Some might be an addict of some sort.

It just means that you have to work harder in that area of your life to get to the same place as another person will. That's it.

And if you aren't willing to accept that, then that's on you and you won't get very far in that area of your life.

So yes...that means you do have scarcity in your life, because you choose to have it and not work on creating abundance. And again, that's on you.

At the end of the day, your actions follow your thoughts which follow your belief patterns. So yes, that is a negative belief pattern that keeps you locked into that mindset. Change your beliefs about yourself and change your life.

This is simply some cope BS people who don't want to compete in life come up with to justify it to themselves in their minds.

However, you also have to have realistic expectations. If you think you are going to be dating swimsuit models as a 3 or 4, you are simply delusional. Aiming high is great, but you have to aim high for an attainable target. I might want to believe I can throw a ball across the ocean, but that doesn't mean I can.

As a 3 or 4, you can probably realistically date a 7, which is still plenty attractive and far more attractive than you would be at that level.

BINGO and I think this is the main difference between guys now and guys 15 years ago not just on this site but with men in general. The guy wanting to improve with women, finances, health or life in general knew it would be a grind and was willing to bust his a$$ or die trying. This is why IMO the Bronze era of Sosuave 2008-2012 was the last great era. We live in such a "Microwave" culture now that people want to be rich fast and lose weight fast. This is why even in 2024 you have men getting plastic surgery now because everyone wants to take a shortcut to get to the top instead of working on themselves not just physically but mentally, spiritually and financially as well

I have some friends who are younger than me and far more successful. Yes they had parents that certainly helped them in their earlier years but they still had to bust their a$$ to get into a good university, then graduate said university, then find a good job, then level up and find a great job. Take the risks of starting their own businesses, losing money, making money, becoming millionaires etc. It wasn't a straight path some guys had to drive Uber&Airbnb while already making 6 figures at their main job. However, there was no shame in their hustles as they were focused on their goal which was to retire by 30 or in their 30s and some of them did some are still grinding.

I remember in 2016 one of my buddies trying to flex to a girl that he had 25K in a CD account not bad for a guy who is 27 years old but he knew it wasn't enough. Fast forward the same buddy today is worth 20+ million. He didn't get there overnight he had to bust his ass.
I'm still busting my ass and one of the reasons I'm on this site is cause there a few men who are truly about that life

 

[corrector]

I’m assuming ‘Oneitis’ just means a woman you are in love with & want to the excusion of others. Correct?

In the context of this thread, it means the first woman who is giving you the time of day that you have some chemistry wtih (or believe you have), but she is not attracted to you the same way. If you have abundance, then you are less likely to get obsessed with such a woman because you have allot of options. Since you have abundance, if you fall in love with someone, it's out of abundance rather thans scarcity, so it's not true oneitis. It's unlikely you'll obsess much about her if she doesn't reciprocate back since you can get another woman.

 

[holidayad_]

As I said; a shyte show.

Being bluepilled is the best state to be in for a man.the only condition is that your woman celebrates your bluepilled-ness. As long as that's the case, you good. You can be bluepilled for life in that scenario.

That's why they say ignorance is a blessing.

When someone is red-pilled, they're unlikely to go back to the standard blue pill state. From there, it's over. They'll never see the world the same way again.

I see my friends in relationships and how happy they are. But at the same time, how blue-pilled they are.

They live with a scarcity mindset because they have one woman, and this affects their thinking. They're scared of the possibility of losing her because they know that once it's over, they will be completely lost.

That's why I think it's a dangerous mindset to have.

 

[corrector]

They live with a scarcity mindset because they have one woman, and this affects their thinking. They're scared of the possibility of losing her because they know that once it's over, they will be completely lost.

They might feel completely lost for a moment but then they adjust to a new normal. Everyone does.

However, maybe they can't attract other women and they just got lucky with that one. It's not for everyone to be popular with women.

 

[Gamisch]

They might feel completely lost for a moment but then they adjust to a new normal. Everyone does.

However, maybe they can't attract other women and they just got lucky with that one. It's not for everyone to be popular with women.

No knock on you bro, but this is the most common misconception men in this space will make. The narrative is you need to be Chad/Tyrone, HVM ,rich ect. That's only true once you indeed enter "the new normal".

Before that you can be "yourself" with all your natural flaws. Not EVERY woman wants a 666 man.

Most men still meet their first real love due to location , work, social circle ect. Once such a man is forced to play the game he'll be in for a very unpleasant surprise. By the time he's " redpill " he'll be fed up with it and I ALWAYS say that the line between red and blackpill is extremely thin.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

In the context of this thread, it means the first woman who is giving you the time of day that you have some chemistry wtih (or believe you have), but she is not attracted to you the same way.

OK. then, by this definition it wasn’t ‘Oneitis’ as she was interested too.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I am not trying to be negative, just a realist.

Having a scarcity mindset and easily developing oneitis is just the harsh truth for most of us.

Think about it, unless you are exceptionally attractive (95% of us are not) it is NOT easy to find a woman whom you find attractive (offline) and vice versa who is SINGLE.

All of this talk about abundance, abundance, abundance is not based in reality and we are lying to ourselves!

Sure, physically attractive women are a dime a dozen, but MOST of these women are in committed relationships and ignore you while out in public.

When you seem to have a "spark" with an attractive woman who might be single it's very easy to develop oneitis since the opportunity does not come around too often.

I AM NOT saying the scarcity mindset is a good mindset to have but it is usually more realistic than the abundance mentality for most of us.

The scarcity thinking is a symptom, simple feedback showing you where you need to improve or at least what you should detract public attention from, it's not something you have to identify with. When you neglect your life and ignore this feedback, the signal becomes stronger and you start to believe that changing things is out of your control. When you start arguing against your ability to change things, you've pulled the wool completely over your eyes in an attempt to absolve yourself of responsibility.

Developing oneitis is just a different flavor of the same scarcity mentality. Instead of working to manage your emotions you place the onus of your emotional health on some woman, that's what oneitis is. If it's 'easy' to develop this, it's because you are habitually neglecting your life and constantly looking for shortcuts. The truth of developing physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being is that there are no shortcuts, you get out what you put in. Half as$ your attempt and you get half as$ results.

Scarcity mentality is just as 'realistic' as abundance mentality. They are both simply labels for which feedback loop you choose to exist in. One comes from neglect, the other comes comes from focused attention. But don't tell yourself and others that you have no choice in the matter, you always do.

Here's a simple experiment, chisel your body to an Adonis state and tell me if attractive women still ignore you in public. Their relationship status means absolutely nothing when your physical presence and charisma are a testament to relentless calculated self work. The irony is I'm not doing it for them, and neither should you.

 

[Manure Spherian]

you think a woman would make your life better

A favorite author and thinker of mine once wrote, “Nothing makes a man angrier than lack of a woman.” Of course, that’s a generalized statement, but for most men, such lack is a source of extreme misery and there’s no way MGTOW’s can convince me otherwise.

 

[Solomon]

A favorite author and thinker of mine once wrote, “Nothing makes a man angrier than lack of a woman.” Of course, that’s a generalized statement, but for most men, such lack is a source of extreme misery and there’s no way MGTOW’s can convince me otherwise.

Married Men Tend to be happier than single men
Married men also make more money

This is something you won't see Roolie poly or many RPers address it's not natural for man to be always alone, hence God made Eve for Adam

 

[Manure Spherian]

Married Men Tend to be happier than single men
Married men also make more money

This is something you won't see Roolie poly or many RPers address it's not natural for man to be always alone, hence God made Eve for Adam

Long ago, when I was womanless, my black-pilled, politically-incorrect psychologist (also a university professor), said to me, “If you don’t eventually get a woman, you’ll be one of the most miserable man on earth.”

I vividly remember the vicious envy I experienced being womanless in my teens and some of my twenties.

Though some have provided alright content, when sparingly viewing leading RP’ers, I see embittered, frantic, neurotic, and vindictive men. Look at their tones and affect.They have the auras of men in indefinite nervous breakdowns.

 

[Solomon]

Long ago, when I was womanless, my black-pilled, politically-incorrect psychologist (also a university professor), said to me, “If you don’t eventually get a woman, you’ll be one of the most miserable man on earth.”

I vividly remember the vicious envy I experienced being womanless in my teens and some of my twenties.

Though some have provided alright content, when sparingly viewing leading RP’ers, I see embittered, frantic, neurotic, and vindictive men. Look at their tones and affect.They have the auras of men in indefinite nervous breakdowns.

I remember a family friend of mine noting how I was the happiest when I was in a relationship this was years ago. IMO i prefer to be in a relationship with an attractive woman than single romaing dating apps or trying to chase tail at a fashion event. Yes relationships aren't always perfect but I vowed to never be the 40 year old guy, trying to chase 21 year old chicks and buying them drinks like some loser

 

[Manure Spherian]

I remember a family friend of mine noting how I was the happiest when I was in a relationship this was years ago. IMO i prefer to be in a relationship with an attractive woman than single romaing dating apps or trying to chase tail at a fashion event. Yes relationships aren't always perfect but I vowed to never be the 40 year old guy, trying to chase 21 year old chicks and buying them drinks like some loser

Are you aiming to be married or have something resembling marriage?

 

[MatureDJ]

Uh, it's takes years of being successful to have an abundance mindset; years of futility cause a man to have a "hand on for dear life" mindset.

*hang* on ...

 

[Clockwerk50]

A favorite author and thinker of mine once wrote, “Nothing makes a man angrier than lack of a woman.” Of course, that’s a generalized statement, but for most men, such lack is a source of extreme misery and there’s no way MGTOW’s can convince me otherwise.

I’d prefer if you quoted the whole sentence instead of a section of the paragraph. As I stated in that post, “If you are unhappy and you think a woman would make your life better you should be ready for a rude awakening”. There are a lot of variables that can create unhappiness on a man. However, in this context, and assuming OP is a single man, I am implying to not expect a woman to get him out of a rut. Most women are looking for the finished product and occasionally date men for his potential. As an example, they will not get you out of your parent’s basement, make you live in her house, cook and clean for you, ask you on a date, show you a good time, teach you how to be a man, teach you how to be a womanizer while giving you stable **ssy just because they pity you for being an unhappy nice dude. I don’t know but I think confidence and self-sufficiency is attractive to them.

 

[Manure Spherian]

. I don’t know but I think confidence and self-sufficiency is attractive to them.

I agree.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Bull$hit. Sex is one of human needs, its our drive, testosterone. To say live your life happy without sex is $tupid. There will be always the lingering thinking, wow I have all of these, all this success but with women Im a failure, I'm sure that is happy, yeah right.

I haven’t really thought about this but to play devil’s advocate, I think having emotional intimacy is more scarce since you need 2 people to play along while with sex it can be achieved through masturbation. I think men that are sex-less can be happy just for the simple fact that, if it wasn't, we wouldn’t have so many dead bedrooms in the world with men going on about their day. If we were left to our urges we would be like Vikings raiding a village after months of being at sea

The disappointment and lingering failure you describe I think it is due to a lack of an emotional connection instead of the need of having sexual partners. I think men crave more the validation and attention from hot women. Men that are chosen by high coveted women must feel really special since, after all, they beat the competition. This creates a feeling of dominance, usefulness, and importance. When you grief the end of a relationship you basically mourn the death of the emotional connection, not the death of the sexual one.

I am brainstorming and thinking out loud. I could be wrong.

 

[corrector]

Here's a simple experiment, chisel your body to an Adonis state and tell me if attractive women still ignore you in public.

ok

 

[corrector]

I haven’t really thought about this but to play devil’s advocate, I think having emotional intimacy is more scarce since you need 2 people to play along while with sex it can be achieved through masturbation.

Not necessarily. This may not be for everyone, and while I have been censored for the mods for these views, I still strongly believe that ASMR videos do the trick at mimicing emotional intimacy with a woman with me. There is a reason that videos like that get tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands or even millions of views. However, if hitting play on a video can create a feeling like you are connected with someone of the opposite sex, then it does come ot be a form of "emotional masturbation" playing a video like that. As you've also said in other posts, there is also OnlyFans and Webcam girls, and, in addition to that cuddle partners/professional cuddlers that can play into that emotional intimacy thing. You can also buy a long pillow (women use this who are pregnant) if you want to go cheap and buy something that you can hug while listening to some of these ASMR videos.

Therefore, if you are going to say sex can be acheived through masturbation so it's less scarce, I'll counter that with the above argument.
Also, if you go on youtube, you'll see there is a tonne of content, not just of ASMRs, but also women talking infront of a camera, whether as a vlog, or broadcast. I mean, if you just want to experience a woman talking to you...you can play the video under your bed sheets, in the cafeteria at work (have not done that recently), inside the washroom while taking a dump or shower (waterproof smartphones/headphones) and those would be quite intimate locations to watch those types of videos.

(For anyone attempting to make an issue about the above post, just to say that I do restrict myself from watching those because, there happens to be sufficent stimulation in real life to not HAVE to go there for that purpose. Women happen to be nice with me, on occasion, in real life too, and in fact, I had a nice connection today with a lady working at the office. However, I know I can go in this direction or max out if I need that.)