Scarcity mindset is not a negative thinking pattern when it is based in reality most of the time

Clockwerk50

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My last case of Oneitis occurred in an environment of plenty. Falling in love is not something one can control.
Oneitis is not about women abundance but an underlying dissatisfaction during one’s life. You must have felt inadequate and the person you fell in love with was seen as a solution to your problems and a precursor of pleasure. A person perfectly fulfilled cannot be controlled or manipulated.
 

corrector

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Oneitis is not about women abundance but an underlying dissatisfaction during one’s life. You must have felt inadequate and the person you fell in love with was seen as a solution to your problems and a precursor of pleasure. A person perfectly fulfilled cannot be controlled or manipulated.
You feel inadequate if your onetis throws herself on another guy. I ended up hugging the caretaker who was looking after my mother a number of times after I saw that other guy hug oneitis. I also ended up going to a place where I had planned to take her, with the group I was working with to the same place. Therefore, based on that theory, it does look like there are some wierd dynamics at play. Since she's been completely out of the picture now (ie I don't see her anywhere, not even with that other guy like in in the past) things have completely dried up. I don't feel like hugging anyone for example like that anymore.
 
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Hamurabimbi

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Oneitis is not about women abundance but an underlying dissatisfaction during one’s life. You must have felt inadequate and the person you fell in love with was seen as a solution to your problems and a precursor of pleasure. A person perfectly fulfilled cannot be controlled or manipulated.
Seems you’re saying falling in love is a bad thing.
 
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Clockwerk50

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Seems you’re saying falling in love is a bad thing.
Did I say that? My bad. I was just trying to imply what I think it causes people to fall in love. I just don’t think one would fall in love because of chance. I think there are parameters that need to be fulfilled for it to happen. If you think differently that’s cool. Anyways, I’ll just say this since I am getting out of the scope of what OP tried to say.

If you think about it, in most movies, tv shows or novels, the seduced usually has depressed, withdrawn, abused, or boring character traits. The closest example I can think of the top of my head is Portia from White Lotus season 2. Early in the season, during a lunch with her friend, this what was said on the script, and then she met this guy from the YouTube video.
  • Portia : Like, I just wanna...
    [chuckles]
    Portia : I don't know, feel, like, fulfilled and have an adventure, and, like, I'm sick of ****ing TikTok and... and Bumble, and just... screens and apps and sitting there binging Netflix. And I just... I just wanna, like, live. I just wanna live my life, so badly.
    [chuckles]
    Portia : I just feel like I just wanna meet someone who's like, you know, totally ignorant of... the discourse.
    Albie Di Grasso : Right. Right. Like... Like someone who lives in a cave. Like a caveman.
    Portia : Yeah, uh, yeah, I would date a caveman at this point. Yeah.
    Albie Di Grasso : I mean... I think you could aim higher. Honestly, I think you can do better than a caveman.
    Portia : I think I just need to... I don't know, like, up my meds or something

 
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Learning Curve

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What are you talking about?
All of this talk about abundance, abundance, abundance is not based in reality and we are lying to ourselves!
So let me get this straight.

It's better to be in a scarcity mindset because this is what? Creates confidence? or does it make me look attractive?

You have developed a story and you believe it, because most probably you have failed dozen of times with women, and you have settled for a scarcity mindset in order to feel better about urself.

This is not how life works.

I AM NOT saying the scarcity mindset is a good mindset to have but it is usually more realistic than the abundance mentality for most of us.
You are saying in essence that a scarcity mindset is better than abundance. This is what you are saying.

And is not more realistic, there is not such thing as realistic or not. There is reaction to certain things women are doing and there is how you show up. In confidence or in a scary mindset that translates not to just to women but to everyone that you are on a downhill in life.

Abundance is a tool to use for you not for women. This is a tool that will remove you from distractions, women with low-interest and flakes, ghosts, and women cheating.

You don't realize yet how life works.
 

Clockwerk50

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Agreed, it does sound like that. At least he's not just picking on incels having onetises. He just made a wider net for his "theories' which makes it even more bizzare.
If you do not think my theories are through what would be your counter arguments? Or do you just want to argue in bad faith for the sake of arguing?
 

mikedee

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Abundance only "exists" when you date average and below average women. There is a scarcity of young hot women, of young hot women that are not
- attention/validation seekers
- gold diggers
- single moms
- walking red flags
- woke
- etc

and

- fun and intelligent
- feminine
- interested in dating you/having a relationship

As you get older, that tiny portion of women almost disappear completely. If you live in a big city you have more chances to meet one, but from my experience having lived in NYC and Moscow, most young hot girls are either attention seekers or gold diggers, or both. If you don't live in a respectable city in terms of size and population, abundance doesn't exist at all. If you're not willing to cold approach when you see one that you like, you won't have any, unless you get lucky on OLD or something (social circle).

Realistic mindset.
 

corrector

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Did I say that? My bad. I was just trying to imply what I think it causes people to fall in love. I just don’t think one would fall in love because of chance. I think there are parameters that need to be fulfilled for it to happen. If you think differently that’s cool. Anyways, I’ll just say this since I am getting out of the scope of what OP tried to say.

If you think about it, in most movies, tv shows or novels, the seduced usually has depressed, withdrawn, abused, or boring character traits. The closest example I can think of the top of my head is Portia from White Lotus season 2. Early in the season, during a lunch with her friend, this what was said on the script, and then she met this guy from the YouTube video.
  • Portia : Like, I just wanna...
    [chuckles]
    Portia : I don't know, feel, like, fulfilled and have an adventure, and, like, I'm sick of ****ing TikTok and... and Bumble, and just... screens and apps and sitting there binging Netflix. And I just... I just wanna, like, live. I just wanna live my life, so badly.
    [chuckles]
    Portia : I just feel like I just wanna meet someone who's like, you know, totally ignorant of... the discourse.
    Albie Di Grasso : Right. Right. Like... Like someone who lives in a cave. Like a caveman.
    Portia : Yeah, uh, yeah, I would date a caveman at this point. Yeah.
    Albie Di Grasso : I mean... I think you could aim higher. Honestly, I think you can do better than a caveman.
    Portia : I think I just need to... I don't know, like, up my meds or something

If you do not think my theories are through what would be your counter arguments? Or do you just want to argue in bad faith for the sake of arguing?
That reply was not intended for you as I was agreeing with a common sense assertion from the other member.

Any reply made directly to you did not have an argumentative tone but actually agreed with what you said by providing a example that you could have a point.

That being said, I dont argue if something is explained by common sense from something that is too abstract. It almost sounds like you are saying that happy and fulfilled people can not fall in love. There is nothing to argue about there if you really believe that.
 

Hamurabimbi

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Did I say that? My bad. I was just trying to imply what I think it causes people to fall in love. I just don’t think one would fall in love because of chance. I think there are parameters that need to be fulfilled for it to happen. If you think differently that’s cool. Anyways, I’ll just say this since I am getting out of the scope of what OP tried to say.

If you think about it, in most movies, tv shows or novels, the seduced usually has depressed, withdrawn, abused, or boring character traits. The closest example I can think of the top of my head is Portia from White Lotus season 2. Early in the season, during a lunch with her friend, this what was said on the script, and then she met this guy from the YouTube video.
  • Portia : Like, I just wanna...
    [chuckles]
    Portia : I don't know, feel, like, fulfilled and have an adventure, and, like, I'm sick of ****ing TikTok and... and Bumble, and just... screens and apps and sitting there binging Netflix. And I just... I just wanna, like, live. I just wanna live my life, so badly.
    [chuckles]
    Portia : I just feel like I just wanna meet someone who's like, you know, totally ignorant of... the discourse.
    Albie Di Grasso : Right. Right. Like... Like someone who lives in a cave. Like a caveman.
    Portia : Yeah, uh, yeah, I would date a caveman at this point. Yeah.
    Albie Di Grasso : I mean... I think you could aim higher. Honestly, I think you can do better than a caveman.
    Portia : I think I just need to... I don't know, like, up my meds or something

A rather bleak view of what has, throughout history, been the most cherished and inspirational human emotion.
 

Hamurabimbi

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What are you talking about?


So let me get this straight.

It's better to be in a scarcity mindset because this is what? Creates confidence? or does it make me look attractive?

You have developed a story and you believe it, because most probably you have failed dozen of times with women, and you have settled for a scarcity mindset in order to feel better about urself.

This is not how life works.



You are saying in essence that a scarcity mindset is better than abundance. This is what you are saying.

And is not more realistic, there is not such thing as realistic or not. There is reaction to certain things women are doing and there is how you show up. In confidence or in a scary mindset that translates not to just to women but to everyone that you are on a downhill in life.

Abundance is a tool to use for you not for women. This is a tool that will remove you from distractions, women with low-interest and flakes, ghosts, and women cheating.

You don't realize yet how life works.
Abundance or scarcity aren’t mindsets. They are conditions. You are, in reality, in one of those two states. Regardless of your ‘mindset’.
 

Clockwerk50

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A rather bleak view of what has, throughout history, been the most cherished and inspirational human emotion.
If emotions such as grief, excitement, and hope can be qualified, their causes and effects can be analyzed, and they can be created from an original state, why can’t the same thing be done with infatuation and love? Life is not a fairy tale and we are more in control with our and other people’s emotions more than one may think.
 
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MatureDJ

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It’s difficult to have an abundance mindset, it takes YEARS to develop. It’s the result of being comfortable in your own skin and living your life to its potential. It’s a long, hard process. Not saying that I’ve achieved it yet, but the results of success and failures have shaped who I am today.
I could not be more happy with what I have and always continuing to improve.

Women do not define your success, rather it’s one of the perks of living your life the best way you can
Uh, it's takes years of being successful to have an abundance mindset; years of futility cause a man to have a "hand on for dear life" mindset. :mad:
 

MatureDJ

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As a 3 or 4, you can probably realistically date a 7, which is still plenty attractive and far more attractive than you would be at that level.
You would need to be at the tier of "on every world-VIP's rolodex" to be able to pull that off.

Henry-Kissinger-jill-st-john-770x433.jpg
 

Learning Curve

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Abundance or scarcity aren’t mindsets. They are conditions. You are, in reality, in one of those two states. Regardless of your ‘mindset’.
They are conditions, based and set from the way you think about urself. Which in essence, you develop a "mindset" to think in a specific way.

People who are depressed they are in a state of what doctors call "mental dissorder" yet this has been developing for individuals for years before they eventually gave in depression.

Everything can change, and this requires an individual to change his state, and mental power and that only comes with mindset adjustment.

Some people, i do agree that are too weak, they can't change. It is what it is. But not changing and not improving is weakness and laziness.
 

Gamisch

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I am not trying to be negative, just a realist.

Having a scarcity mindset and easily developing oneitis is just the harsh truth for most of us.

Think about it, unless you are exceptionally attractive (95% of us are not) it is NOT easy to find a woman whom you find attractive (offline) and vice versa who is SINGLE.

All of this talk about abundance, abundance, abundance is not based in reality and we are lying to ourselves!

Sure, physically attractive women are a dime a dozen, but MOST of these women are in committed relationships and ignore you while out in public.

When you seem to have a "spark" with an attractive woman who might be single it's very easy to develop oneitis since the opportunity does not come around too often.

I AM NOT saying the scarcity mindset is a good mindset to have but it is usually more realistic than the abundance mentality for most of us.
I agree it might be soothing to a lot of men that "you aren't the only one" to fall into the abyss of oneitis. But ,similar to smoking, that doesn't mean it's good. The longer oneitis lasts, the more painful the comedown will be.

Personally I've noticed I play the "broken man game" nowadays ; a game that's played with at least equally broken women and where you CONSTANTLY have to go against your intuition because the moment you "don't play by the rules" ( frame, oneitis, ect) you'll lose.

And yeah, it's difficult to find a decent woman to vibe with, let alone two or more while the latter is necessary to stay clear from getting oneitis.

It's a shyte show. I have no solution other than aiming strictly at personal development. My advice to that "98% bottom tier of men" is to keep grinding, keep sculpting the ideal version of yourself and thus increase the chance of meeting better quality women.
 

Gamisch

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It's crazy because that same oneitis is ingrained in us, and allows us to get that extra strength to protect and provide for our families.

Imo a man gets one, maybe two opportunities to REALLY experience lobe in his lifetime. After those opportunities he'll project these seemingly good characteristics onto EVERY woman he'll meet , even when she is far from deserving. And that's where shyte goes wrong.

Inherently oneitis is a positive trait, one that allows both you and me to love our OWN woman and focus on her and the family that comes with it. But, I am also aware that these are old-fashioned traits that won't work in this modern dating environment.
 
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