Do any of the wise and experienced DJs believe the rules for handling a confident, assertive, intelligent babe are somewhat different to those for other babes? Due to her confidence, is there a possibility that she would be less likely to be so vulnerable as to reveal her true feelings for a guy than other chicks would, specifically in a situation where she has not yet started dating the guy?
rules for confident women?
- Thread starter ulsterman
- Start date
Oscar Wilde
Master Don Juan
Dia duit, a chara,
[ramble]
I suppose it depends on a lot of factors like age - I'm going out with a very confident 33yr old - she's great to be with because she knows the games and chooses not to play them.
I find confident women easier to handle because you don't have to bombard them with reassurance all the time.
My current girl knows that I just got out of a serious LTR and just want to play it cool, so even though I know she's crazy about me (said it drunk and doesn't remember), she doesn't ever mention it directly, and tries to avoid it indirectly. I reckon she knows it would lower my IL.
Actually, funny that, but it didn't - I'm still quite interested in her, guess it's nice to know someone is mad into you, but at the same time it's also nice she's not mentioning it and playing cool.
[/ramble]
I hope this is remotely relevant for ya Ulsterman
Cheers,
Oscar.
[ramble]
I suppose it depends on a lot of factors like age - I'm going out with a very confident 33yr old - she's great to be with because she knows the games and chooses not to play them.
I find confident women easier to handle because you don't have to bombard them with reassurance all the time.
My current girl knows that I just got out of a serious LTR and just want to play it cool, so even though I know she's crazy about me (said it drunk and doesn't remember), she doesn't ever mention it directly, and tries to avoid it indirectly. I reckon she knows it would lower my IL.
Actually, funny that, but it didn't - I'm still quite interested in her, guess it's nice to know someone is mad into you, but at the same time it's also nice she's not mentioning it and playing cool.
[/ramble]
I hope this is remotely relevant for ya Ulsterman
Cheers,
Oscar.
Sexy_Malibu
Master Don Juan
Speaking as a confident girl, I think we are more likely to feel confident enough to express our feelings instead of the shy, timid girls who plays games. Basically, I'm confident enough that if I want something I go and get it (or try to at least).
Interesting post, Oscar, especially the last paragraph... that would encourage me, quite a lot.
As far as, um, our female poster's comments go, I accept the point you make, but if you were all hot and bothered and hopelessly, breathlesly, helplessly head over heels about a guy, would you still play it cool or would you be like most less confident girls are throw caution to wind in letting your love object know your feelings for him? Or, is it the case that confident, self-assured females just don't fall for men so badly...
As far as, um, our female poster's comments go, I accept the point you make, but if you were all hot and bothered and hopelessly, breathlesly, helplessly head over heels about a guy, would you still play it cool or would you be like most less confident girls are throw caution to wind in letting your love object know your feelings for him? Or, is it the case that confident, self-assured females just don't fall for men so badly...
Sexy_Malibu
Master Don Juan
We fall for men just as badly as men fall for us... whether they admit it or not...
But basically, there's a difference in how you act if you are pursuing a guy and if you have already got the guy. (C'mon... we're not THAT different that the DJs are we?)
Ulsterman asked,
So, my response to him is: if a confident girl sees something she wants, she is going to go after it.
But if I'm "dating" a guy and am "hopelessly breathlessly helplessly head over heels" (this is all hypothetical of course, because I don't get hopeless and helpless... maybe a little breathless, but that's for a different post) I'm not stupid enough to express too much to freak the guy out. But I'm not going to front either.
That has nothing to do with being confident or not, it has to do with having common sense and having a sense of what that guy is able to handle in that respect. Confident girls don't necessarily "play it cool", they're just confident enough to go for what they want and they don't have to push the issue because they don't have self-esteem problems and need constant reassuring from guys.
At least that's my opinion.
Interesting confession, Malibu... "I don't get hopeless and helpless"; I will resist the temptation to make the obvious non sequitor conclusion and suggest confident chicks lack passion, lol.
You say a confident girl pursues something she wants, and I assume you mean she does so with the expectation of acquiring the object of her desire... And I think that probably holds good as a general maxim, with the possible exception of the case of the confident chick with little experience in matters of l'amour, due to say, years spent in intense study at college. I wonder, also, if even confident women are a little daunted by dealing with a man they might, rightly or wrongly, perceive as their superior in terms of romantic prowess, intellect or whatever?
One final thing, though. I am convinced that a confident woman can have her boat so rocked, as it were, by a man as to lose all semblance of her erstwhile confident and composed bearing, and to actually end up as unfeignedly vulnerable (and therefore quintessentially feminine) as the less assured chicks out there.
You say a confident girl pursues something she wants, and I assume you mean she does so with the expectation of acquiring the object of her desire... And I think that probably holds good as a general maxim, with the possible exception of the case of the confident chick with little experience in matters of l'amour, due to say, years spent in intense study at college. I wonder, also, if even confident women are a little daunted by dealing with a man they might, rightly or wrongly, perceive as their superior in terms of romantic prowess, intellect or whatever?
One final thing, though. I am convinced that a confident woman can have her boat so rocked, as it were, by a man as to lose all semblance of her erstwhile confident and composed bearing, and to actually end up as unfeignedly vulnerable (and therefore quintessentially feminine) as the less assured chicks out there.
Sexy_Malibu
Master Don Juan
Okay Ulsterman, you might have a point there...
But, you described being "vulnerable" as...
And, I know I'm on the DJ site, so I'll try to take everything with a grain of salt... but being confident doesn't mean we're not feminine. Just as being feminine doesn't mean we're vulnerable.
If my boat was really "rocked" as you put it, I might lose some composure... but not confidence per se.
Oh.... and I never said I lacked passion. I just always get what I want, hence, no hopelessness/helplessness...
But, you described being "vulnerable" as...
Now... that's where it's backwards. A confident girl has no problem revealing her true feelings because she is confident enough to do so.
And, I know I'm on the DJ site, so I'll try to take everything with a grain of salt... but being confident doesn't mean we're not feminine. Just as being feminine doesn't mean we're vulnerable.
If my boat was really "rocked" as you put it, I might lose some composure... but not confidence per se.
Oh.... and I never said I lacked passion. I just always get what I want, hence, no hopelessness/helplessness...
Malibu, you misunderstood me a little over my description of vulnerable, but the fault was mine for not being more explicit in my language. I intended to convey the idea of a woman pouring her heart out to a man in an impassioned, emotively worded manner... as per all the cliched declarations of undying love so popular in romantic stories, lol.
I note you say that being confident is not incompatible with being feminine, and I think that is true to a point. It would probably be more accurate to say that some confident women behave in a manner that is not feminine, or at least, they are insufficiently feminine as to compel me to wish to give them my whole heart. What do I mean by this? Well, consider Gwynneth Paltrow's portrayal of Emma. If we can see beyond the obvious anachronistic female mannerisms of that period, there is nonethless much in the behaviour of the central character that is irresistable to many men, certainly to me. Yes, she was a beautiful woman to look at, but that only deals with lust; it was her female frailty, not in a bodily sense, but of her mind, her little insecurities and her heart's passionate wishes (remember her frantic "inaudible" prayer?) that made me almost wish to "eat" her, so desirable was she. Her example was simply a semi-palpable oasis of femininity in today's wilderness of unwomanly feminism!
To take this theme a little further, I recently dated a very confident young woman. Alright, I admit she is the one I started this thread about in the first instance, as ought to be obvious by now anyway. Now, while I found this girl very attractive physically, her confident bearing made her appear quite assertive and independent, which I find unattractive traits in a woman; it was too much like dating another guy, in that regard. So I feel that where a woman's confidence leads to assertiveness and an air of independence, a vital element of femininity is lost; not only does my head tell me those latter two qualities do not bode well for a long-term relationship, my "faculty of romance" (for want of a better term) told me how much more desirable, or rather LOVABLE, she would be were she to tone down those attributes.
To close, I do by no means unequivocably advocate women being emotional wrecks or enfeebled weaklings; I know some girls like that and they are afraid to think for themselves! All I'm saying is a girl can avoid needless unfeminine traits such as ostentatious assertiveness and airs of independence and hopefully her latent femininity will shine through! And as for the minx in question, I am quietly confident she will mend her ways... and to think she recently had the cheek to suggest she was endearing to me!
I note you say that being confident is not incompatible with being feminine, and I think that is true to a point. It would probably be more accurate to say that some confident women behave in a manner that is not feminine, or at least, they are insufficiently feminine as to compel me to wish to give them my whole heart. What do I mean by this? Well, consider Gwynneth Paltrow's portrayal of Emma. If we can see beyond the obvious anachronistic female mannerisms of that period, there is nonethless much in the behaviour of the central character that is irresistable to many men, certainly to me. Yes, she was a beautiful woman to look at, but that only deals with lust; it was her female frailty, not in a bodily sense, but of her mind, her little insecurities and her heart's passionate wishes (remember her frantic "inaudible" prayer?) that made me almost wish to "eat" her, so desirable was she. Her example was simply a semi-palpable oasis of femininity in today's wilderness of unwomanly feminism!
To take this theme a little further, I recently dated a very confident young woman. Alright, I admit she is the one I started this thread about in the first instance, as ought to be obvious by now anyway. Now, while I found this girl very attractive physically, her confident bearing made her appear quite assertive and independent, which I find unattractive traits in a woman; it was too much like dating another guy, in that regard. So I feel that where a woman's confidence leads to assertiveness and an air of independence, a vital element of femininity is lost; not only does my head tell me those latter two qualities do not bode well for a long-term relationship, my "faculty of romance" (for want of a better term) told me how much more desirable, or rather LOVABLE, she would be were she to tone down those attributes.
To close, I do by no means unequivocably advocate women being emotional wrecks or enfeebled weaklings; I know some girls like that and they are afraid to think for themselves! All I'm saying is a girl can avoid needless unfeminine traits such as ostentatious assertiveness and airs of independence and hopefully her latent femininity will shine through! And as for the minx in question, I am quietly confident she will mend her ways... and to think she recently had the cheek to suggest she was endearing to me!
Sexy_Malibu
Master Don Juan
Wow.
That's all I can REALLY say in response to that post.
As for "Emma", haven't seen it... chick flick. HA HA... no I'm kidding... I do understand what you're saying though. Like I said, I might lose some composure if I was really "head over heels" and at some points I have let a little more slip than I've intended to (usually when alcohol and orgasms are combined ). The thing about being confident though, is that I'm not going to sweat it if I let my guard down a bit more than I had intended to. The way I feel is if a guy can't handle something you throw at him, then he's not the guy for you. Some guys go for a more confident or assertive woman and some guys don't. I haven't had any problems, but I'm also not looking for a relationship either.
That's all I can REALLY say in response to that post.
As for "Emma", haven't seen it... chick flick. HA HA... no I'm kidding... I do understand what you're saying though. Like I said, I might lose some composure if I was really "head over heels" and at some points I have let a little more slip than I've intended to (usually when alcohol and orgasms are combined
). The thing about being confident though, is that I'm not going to sweat it if I let my guard down a bit more than I had intended to. The way I feel is if a guy can't handle something you throw at him, then he's not the guy for you. Some guys go for a more confident or assertive woman and some guys don't. I haven't had any problems, but I'm also not looking for a relationship either.
Player_Supreme
Banned
I posted this at another site:
These are 8 characteristics that a player needs.
1. Remain focused on the game. Your game is to get inside of her head. Let your own ego fade for a while. Find out about the *****. Where is she from and shyt like that. Don’t act like your desperate for an ear to bend. Tune out the environment and give her 100 percent of your attention.
2. Stay the fu*ck calm. Don’t let your jaws get tight just because your spitting game at a dime or any *****. Put the biatch at ease by being laid back, cool, and confident. See that shyt about the alpha male.
3. Show your Charisma. This is where you show that your likeable. A pimp seduces a women to his team. Give the biatch a low key complement, then quickly change the subject. Women listen for shiat like this but use it very very sparingly. I will say something like “that’s cool, you made a good decision there” and move on. I just made her believe that she is viewed as being intelligent and respected for it. Now weather that is true or not ……..fuack it. It doesn’t matter. Stick to your game.
4. Touch her. Don’t manhandle the biatch but touch her gently in unobtrusive places. If I am at a bar whispering in a womans ear (because the noise is too loud to yell and of course I know this shiat tickles), I occasionally let my lips accidentally brush her ear or I let my hand that’s held across my chest accidentally touch her breast, or I will touch her waistline casually. (this is from that perpetrating mack on the internet)
5. Realize that your talking to her is seen as a brave thing from her eyes. This means that you are a real man, not afraid to take risks.
6. You gotta be a man not a boy. Work on your front. Keep your pad looking like a man not a boy lives their. Don’t let Miki D’s wrappers fall out of your ride when you open your door.
7. Put that baitch in a romance trance. Notice how pimps will romance a ho before putting her on his team. Your job is to give her the impression that you are the best catch of the day, week, year. Biatches love romance as I have said before. When laying your mack keep that **** in mind.
8. Act like you’re already pimp tight/pimp/mack/alpha male. Never act like a punk as*sed whimp. Keep your shiat tight. Never reveal anything about yourself. Make her dig for 10 minutes just to find out what you do for a living. Instead dig in her head. Reverse that game that women put on ya.
With confident ho's you gotta take them off that pedistal in their heads and put them back in orbit around you, this following post is from "that" other site:
****ting on a *****:
I took this phrase from Pimp_Supreme. This is how I break a confident ***** down:
1. I let her know that I've had better. This will fuYck them up and make them work harder to please you. ex: 2 of the last biatches I told them that my ex gave the best head. I then told them don't ever try to do that to me. what do you think they always wanted to do after that.
I told them that my ex gave the best massages and they would have to do better. Biatches hate to be compared to other *****es and they are competitive as ****.
You don't have to use the phrase my ex: I told one ***** she didn't know how to make love just fu*ck or rutted like a goat. She begged me to teach her how to...Of course I fine tuned this biatch to the way I wanted **** done up in my bed.
2. I pick apart their bodies and their style of dress. Hell biatches do it to men after they land them. I'm just reversing the game.
3. I catch a quick temper at the slightest piece of shiat. Biatches are use to mutha fu*cka's bowing down. I don't bow down to no ho'
4. I tweak them into being addicted to me. I do this by being unpredictable. One day I'm nice the next I'm moody and shiyt on them. They never know what they are getting. There have been studies that shows people do become addicted to unpredictable situations. These studies showed how people who become gambling addicts due to the unpredictableness of gambling. You never know when your up or down. Emotional highs & lows. Ever wonder why abused women stay? and will beat a cop down who trys to take away her man?
Biytches learn to tip toe in my presence. You ever see a dog whine and bow down low? Now that's what this nigga's talkin about. I aint wolfin
about my **** either. I will leave my picture on my screen name for a few more days so you can see who your actually dealing with.
Anyone else wanna add some of their **** to this post? Hit me up with your flava.
this stuff is a little raw in vocabulary cause it was ment for a whole different class of people, but you get the point. Act confident and don't take no shyt from her. Dont get intimidated cause she is a dime or confident...alot of times this hides a weaker inner side anyways..
If you want to respond email me since I will not play the check back over game weaker minded DJ's play. peace
These are 8 characteristics that a player needs.
1. Remain focused on the game. Your game is to get inside of her head. Let your own ego fade for a while. Find out about the *****. Where is she from and shyt like that. Don’t act like your desperate for an ear to bend. Tune out the environment and give her 100 percent of your attention.
2. Stay the fu*ck calm. Don’t let your jaws get tight just because your spitting game at a dime or any *****. Put the biatch at ease by being laid back, cool, and confident. See that shyt about the alpha male.
3. Show your Charisma. This is where you show that your likeable. A pimp seduces a women to his team. Give the biatch a low key complement, then quickly change the subject. Women listen for shiat like this but use it very very sparingly. I will say something like “that’s cool, you made a good decision there” and move on. I just made her believe that she is viewed as being intelligent and respected for it. Now weather that is true or not ……..fuack it. It doesn’t matter. Stick to your game.
4. Touch her. Don’t manhandle the biatch but touch her gently in unobtrusive places. If I am at a bar whispering in a womans ear (because the noise is too loud to yell and of course I know this shiat tickles), I occasionally let my lips accidentally brush her ear or I let my hand that’s held across my chest accidentally touch her breast, or I will touch her waistline casually. (this is from that perpetrating mack on the internet)
5. Realize that your talking to her is seen as a brave thing from her eyes. This means that you are a real man, not afraid to take risks.
6. You gotta be a man not a boy. Work on your front. Keep your pad looking like a man not a boy lives their. Don’t let Miki D’s wrappers fall out of your ride when you open your door.
7. Put that baitch in a romance trance. Notice how pimps will romance a ho before putting her on his team. Your job is to give her the impression that you are the best catch of the day, week, year. Biatches love romance as I have said before. When laying your mack keep that **** in mind.
8. Act like you’re already pimp tight/pimp/mack/alpha male. Never act like a punk as*sed whimp. Keep your shiat tight. Never reveal anything about yourself. Make her dig for 10 minutes just to find out what you do for a living. Instead dig in her head. Reverse that game that women put on ya.
With confident ho's you gotta take them off that pedistal in their heads and put them back in orbit around you, this following post is from "that" other site:
****ting on a *****:
I took this phrase from Pimp_Supreme. This is how I break a confident ***** down:
1. I let her know that I've had better. This will fuYck them up and make them work harder to please you. ex: 2 of the last biatches I told them that my ex gave the best head. I then told them don't ever try to do that to me. what do you think they always wanted to do after that.
I told them that my ex gave the best massages and they would have to do better. Biatches hate to be compared to other *****es and they are competitive as ****.
You don't have to use the phrase my ex: I told one ***** she didn't know how to make love just fu*ck or rutted like a goat. She begged me to teach her how to...Of course I fine tuned this biatch to the way I wanted **** done up in my bed.
2. I pick apart their bodies and their style of dress. Hell biatches do it to men after they land them. I'm just reversing the game.
3. I catch a quick temper at the slightest piece of shiat. Biatches are use to mutha fu*cka's bowing down. I don't bow down to no ho'
4. I tweak them into being addicted to me. I do this by being unpredictable. One day I'm nice the next I'm moody and shiyt on them. They never know what they are getting. There have been studies that shows people do become addicted to unpredictable situations. These studies showed how people who become gambling addicts due to the unpredictableness of gambling. You never know when your up or down. Emotional highs & lows. Ever wonder why abused women stay? and will beat a cop down who trys to take away her man?
Biytches learn to tip toe in my presence. You ever see a dog whine and bow down low? Now that's what this nigga's talkin about. I aint wolfin
about my **** either. I will leave my picture on my screen name for a few more days so you can see who your actually dealing with.
Anyone else wanna add some of their **** to this post? Hit me up with your flava.
this stuff is a little raw in vocabulary cause it was ment for a whole different class of people, but you get the point. Act confident and don't take no shyt from her. Dont get intimidated cause she is a dime or confident...alot of times this hides a weaker inner side anyways..
If you want to respond email me since I will not play the check back over game weaker minded DJ's play. peace
HeyPretty
Don Juan
How to handle a confident woman?
Be honest. Be straightforward.
Tell her you're interested, treat her with respect, and she'll respect you back.
Have the balls to say something to her, and that'll impress her in itself.
Be honest. Be straightforward.
Tell her you're interested, treat her with respect, and she'll respect you back.
Have the balls to say something to her, and that'll impress her in itself.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Malibu, where the hell were you when I was your age??!!! You know too WAY too much for your ageOriginally posted by Sexy_Malibu
Okay Ulsterman, you might have a point there...
But, you described being "vulnerable" as...
Now... that's where it's backwards. A confident girl has no problem revealing her true feelings because she is confident enough to do so.
And, I know I'm on the DJ site, so I'll try to take everything with a grain of salt... but being confident doesn't mean we're not feminine. Just as being feminine doesn't mean we're vulnerable.
If my boat was really "rocked" as you put it, I might lose some composure... but not confidence per se.
Oh.... and I never said I lacked passion. I just always get what I want, hence, no hopelessness/helplessness...
Sexy_Malibu
Master Don Juan
Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Malibu, where the hell were you when I was your age??!!! You know too WAY too much for your age
I'm not sure what I know that other people my age don't know, but thanks.Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Player Supreme!
I am not used to that mode of lingo you use, it's very Black-American I suppose (I live in Ireland), but, nonetheless I caught the drift of what you were saying and you made some valid points.
This business about whispering in a chick's ear and letting your lips touch her ear - great point, I know it works and it's very sexual; I just lost sight of how potent it can be. The same goes for the unobtrusive touching, something I need to work on a little!
The problem I have found in the past with confident women in whom I have been interested is that I tended to lose my calmness in their presence, although that is increasingly becoming less of a problem. In fact, the confident chick I am dealing with at present showed signs of being a little nervous in my company last night, whereas I was the confident, assertive, witty, self-controlled one. Nevertheless, I had already become utterly convinced of the need you speak of to be calm and confident in the presence of babes.
I love your other points that effectively amount to keeping a woman in her place and on her toes! I would, perhaps, apply unpredictability with a more restrained finesse than you would, and I would tease a chick about her appearance/clothes/whatever, rather than outright insult her, but bear in mind my relatively reserved cultural background and the fact that I am Christian, as would be most women I am dealing with!
I think the key point you made relates to how important it is to keep yourself from being intimidated by a woman's confidence! Yes, your own brand of vernacular language was not what I'm used to, but I thank you for taking the time to raise some very valid points.
I am not used to that mode of lingo you use, it's very Black-American I suppose (I live in Ireland), but, nonetheless I caught the drift of what you were saying and you made some valid points.
This business about whispering in a chick's ear and letting your lips touch her ear - great point, I know it works and it's very sexual; I just lost sight of how potent it can be. The same goes for the unobtrusive touching, something I need to work on a little!
The problem I have found in the past with confident women in whom I have been interested is that I tended to lose my calmness in their presence, although that is increasingly becoming less of a problem. In fact, the confident chick I am dealing with at present showed signs of being a little nervous in my company last night, whereas I was the confident, assertive, witty, self-controlled one. Nevertheless, I had already become utterly convinced of the need you speak of to be calm and confident in the presence of babes.
I love your other points that effectively amount to keeping a woman in her place and on her toes! I would, perhaps, apply unpredictability with a more restrained finesse than you would, and I would tease a chick about her appearance/clothes/whatever, rather than outright insult her, but bear in mind my relatively reserved cultural background and the fact that I am Christian, as would be most women I am dealing with!
I think the key point you made relates to how important it is to keep yourself from being intimidated by a woman's confidence! Yes, your own brand of vernacular language was not what I'm used to, but I thank you for taking the time to raise some very valid points.