Ruined the situation, loss of interest :-(

[Nick39]

So I've been with this girl, in a relationship of 1 and a half MONTH. Thing's were awesome and we were getting to know each other day by day then suddenly I saw her getting distant. I could feel my talk's are getting her bored as we could not find something cool to talk about and kept talking about random stuff that I have a feeling that she was getting bored with those talks.

So I became clingy to her as I started "loving" her and she started getting distant, talking less and sometimes flaked as well. (Not 100% sure about flakes)

I started questioning her that what's wrong and what's making her upset with me, to which she just said that she's kind of busy and nothing else. I asked her she can tell if she don't want me but all she say is she wants me and nothing is wrong. But I can see her getting distance.

It started happening the time I started sharing thing's, and telling her all the secrets of my life, damn I shouldn't have done this. I started telling her everything a-z about what happened today, what happened yesterday etc, you get it.

The thing I've noticed recently is she always pick up my flows like whenever I tell her something, or joke about someone, she always take it the wrong way and blaims that i shouldn't make fun of someone and so on. I hope you get what i meant.

After coming to this forums and searching a lot over the internet, I've come to know that it was my mistake that I became clingy and started asking her if whats wrong. So no need to tell me the mistakes I made but instead please give me some advices on how to turn the tables and make her interested again like she used to be.

Some friend's advised that I should ignore her and make some distance, but in this way, won't I lose her? Because if she's losing interest, she won't give a damn if I ignore.

Are there any tips and tricks, or any game to increase her interest level again.

Need your help.

 

[wait_out]

So no need to tell me the mistakes I made but instead please give me some advices on how to turn the tables and make her interested again like she used to be.

Look at what you wrote -- you're desperate to keep her. That's what she saw, and that's why she's gone.

If you want her back, you have to care LESS. Ironic isn't it?

Some friend's advised that I should ignore her and make some distance, but in this way, won't I lose her? Because if she's losing interest, she won't give a damn if I ignore.

Your friends are correct, you have already lost her. Second, she was flaking on you and disengaging, why didn't you ditch her there? No woman respects a man who will let her walk all over him. You should have dumped HER.

You don't understand the point of this site. It's not how to manipulate a girl you're infatuated with into loving you, it's about how to love YOURSELF so you can have the self-respect, knowledge, and judgement to be in good relationships as a developed man.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

You yourself have already pointed out the things you did wrong. So, stop doing those things. Pretty simple, right?

I know, I know, I've been in your situation before, so while the advice sounds easy, the hard part is having the discipline and self control to NOT go back to doing the wrong things that were chasing her away.

Also, this:

we were getting to know each other day by day

needs to be stopped right away. You don't need to see/talk to each other every single day - that's how couples start running out of things to talk about with each other. If you're seeing her all the time, you have NO new experiences to talk with her about, so yeah, you WILL end up sounding boring to her.

At this point it seems like a lost cause, but I have also found that if you simply BACK off and give the girl some room to breathe and not have to worry about you being all clingy, sometimes it can be turned around. But you have to have the belief that you can get along without her - which you can, 'cause you did it before you met her - and that, if it doesn't work out, you can find someone else.

In short: back off, stop obsessing, stop revealing so much, stop looking for her approval by asking her what's wrong all the time, and start acting like a MAN again. Hope this helps!

 

[dap]

I agree with everyone else. But also, have you kissed this girl/escalated physically? If not, she probably got sick of waiting around.

Regardless, chances are you already lost this girl. A few key lessons: don't ever call a girl out on "acting cold." What they say doesn't matter anyway, you judge a girls interest by her ACTIONS, not by what she says. When a girl starts acting this way, you have to respond by becoming scarce. The WORST thing you can do is to become needy/reactionary by asking her "what's wrong" and basically chasing after her thereby showing her that your whole world depends on her sticking around and remaining interested. Fùck that, if she's going cold, disappear. Start working out, meeting other girls, hanging out with your bros, work on your career/school. If she is at all still attracted to you, she will reach out, attracted to your ability to walk away (evidence that you have an interesting life to live with or without her). If you go no contact and she doesn't reach out, forget about her; in this case the relationship actually ended weeks ago and you never noticed.

In sum: go no contact. If she's interested she'll come back (and u will have to change your approach if you want to keep her around). If she doesn't come back, she is not attracted to you and it's time to move on. Attraction is t something you can force.