ruined a pick up

[big weezy]

i think i might have ruined a great pick up i just did, i was talking to a woman in a coffee place who was reading some book and i asked her about it then started finding out about her like it was a first date... tho didn't kino soon enough with the handshake asking her name etc left it about 1/2 an hour..

i think biggest mistake i made was i spent up to an hour tryna pick her up cos i had all my stuff out laptop etc so it would seem odd if i suddenly left after 10mins of talking..

anyway i made her laugh a lot.. negged bit, complimented a bit. she was too far away to kino over a table across away from me.. tried my best to DHV. about 40mins in i asked her 'so u married?' she goes 'haha no..' i go (but with not much conviction) 'thats good, that means me and u can go for a drink sometime' she goes 'yeah maybe' with a smile.. i shoulda proceeded to get her digits but i got nervous and started stuttering changing the subject.. then proceeded to pack my stuff up.. i should have got the number then packed up but anyway doesn't matter.. as i go to get the number she takes mine and i tell her to miss call me so i get it (who knows if whether she was gona take my number but had no intention to call me) then i went to kiss her bye.. i was a bit nervous then and my voice speed seemed to get faster like i was so excited to get a number.

as i proceeded to kiss her bye she kinda let me in to kiss her cheek but wasn't smiling and kinda looked away after.. this is a bad sign. low IL?

 

[Darth_Qurashi]

no man don't worry bout the not smiling. you did good. you can do better, but you gotta take baby steps and you're on the right track so congrats bro.

and ya, u should've gotten her number, and been less nervous, but don't worry about it, you can do it next time.

now don't wait for her call, instead, go try it again to someone else, this time, fix all the mistakes you realized from your last pickup. and that's how you learn

 

[big weezy]

i did get her number, what i mean is after i set it up i didn't go for it.. i packed up my stuff THEN went for the number.. it wasn't a smooth transition. awkward silence in between.

 

[big weezy]

i just realised after that what seemed to appear to turn her off was when i was packing up my stuff i asked her 'so when u coming back on the twenty..'

she was going home for the holidays and back for new years and i wanted to know when she was back exactly but that musta came across as possessive cos i noticed her mood change.. this was literally just before i got the number.

i called her today and she didn't pick up.. given we're snowed in in my town she wouldn't be outside and has no reason not to pick up the call or return it within a few hours as she'd be stuck in at home too.

what kind of text can i send her now to gain interest?

usually i send something funny to get a response and build rapport rather than try to ask her out and arrange date. it feels like i need to start from the beginning and make her remember why she was into me in the 1st place.

 

[betheman]

"about 40mins in i asked her 'so u married?' she goes 'haha no..' i go (but with not much conviction) 'thats good, that means me and u can go for a drink sometime' she goes 'yeah maybe' with a smile.. "
doesnt mean she hasnt got another guy?
Im not sure about asking this question, it to me, sends out a moving too quick warning? does it really matter at this point if she is married/with a guy? you did right finding out about HER but checking for competition so early? if she is she will show it, if she is interested in you, she will show it, either way I dont think she is that interested

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Maybe she just thought that trying to kiss her goodbye after catching her off-guard was too aggressive? If she's going to call and see you later, you don't need to kiss her on the spot. If you already DHV and got to knew facts about her, did you really develop - especially if you're in a coffee shop and she just met you. It might've just caught her really off-guard.

Everything you described was positive up until that one point after you started getting nervous. Maybe you just stopped playing it cool and that was something she sensed. Maybe your nervousness led you to get insecure and misinterpret what you were seeing? Either way, she's got your # and you can always just call or text at some opint and just invite her somewhere.

I suppose this should be appended with a note that I'm currently decent at opening and making conversation but rarely number close with random women, so my questions and suggestions are not coming from a position of great experience.

 

[jtlancer]

"she goes 'yeah maybe' with a smile.. i shoulda proceeded to get her digits but i got nervous and started stuttering changing the subject.."
This is your issue. Work on it.

"what kind of text can i send her now to gain interest?"
No text. Man up and call. If you have to leave a message
then short and or funny. Leave your name if you want but
I wouldn't
and NO "I don't know if you remember me..or we met at blah,,," None of that.
You assume she remembers you.
Watch some Sean Connery James Bond, meditate on it,
then call. Succeed.

 

[big weezy]

i already called, she didnt return the call or call back yet. we're snowed in my part of town so theres no way she was out.. unless she was xmas shopping.

i cant call again.. i need to leave a text at some point.. something funny thats gona get her to reply. i duno what to neg her with

 

[big weezy]

i texted her something funny which should be building rapport.. she hasn't replied.

is there much point calling her again even after 2 weeks?

if she cant be bothered to even acknowledge my call or text then there isn't much point and shows her IL level.

i cant believe she's not interested anymore over just a few mins of nonsense i talked and behaved.. i had her in hysterics. added C+F everything.. just so puzzling how she can be turned off so easily.