rude people

[Jeremymichael]

Hello everyone feeling a bit deflated this morning. last night I met up with a mate who had been drinking quite a bit, but he was pleasent enough initially. We left after a beer to go to another bar and I was feeling good when he told me that a few drink colleagues had been discussing me and that I should change my style, e,g hairstyle, clothes etc.. At one point he said "and that can go",pointing at my Ted Baker fleece. It was quite embarassing so I said I need to go to the cash point and decided to go home.

Why do people feel the need to be insulting when drunk. I have know the guy for a couple of years and he never mentioned anything before. I am quite a sensitive guy and was thinking about getting a hair cut, but I think he was incredibly rude and I am now thinking of avoiding him. At best he could have saved the converstation for when he was not drunk and said something like "I'm going to ge my haircut next week, looks like you could do with the same".

In the same week another girl said "why haven't you got a girl friend you are good looking". I feel awkward now because I do not know has been gossiping about me, but I know I am good chap.

Any thoughts?-many thanks

 

[jophil28]

Hey Jeremy, old chap, you should get your ass on a Jumbo seat and come on 'down under' . I got lots of friends for you down here. We are a nation of jokers and good natured insult throwers, In fact I took , "Insults and Humiliation 1O1,,, LoL
I kinda don't get why other people's opinions are so important to you.

Hell , what other people think of me has nothing to do with me .

Chin up my good man.

 

[MacAvoy]

To me it sounds like he was trying to help you and you allowed your ego to get in the way. You acted insulted, took your ball and went home so no one can play anymore.

I bet he was genuinely trying to help you. You've got to learn to take criticisim. You can't come cry to an online forum that someone was mean to you. Suck it up, be a man. Or go suck on your mom's tit, its your choice.

 

[Jeremymichael]

some good points,

maybe he was trying to help me, but a lot of his drinking mates are fat, bald, and scruffy so why doesn't he go and have words with them about looks. Maybe I could be making more of myself but why should he care.

 

[Jeremymichael]

thanks Espi for your thoughts. I was wondering what where the origins of this advice...maybe I had insulted him previously unknowingly. It really was a bolt out of the blue and I question why the need to do it and why then?.

To be honest I was planning to go on holiday (as a group) with him in a couple of months, but he can forget it now. I don't mind constructive criticisim but he doesn't know me well enough to be just rude.

 

[MacAvoy]

To be honest I was planning to go on holiday (as a group) with him in a couple of months, but he can forget it now. I don't mind constructive criticisim but he doesn't know me well enough to be just rude.

Again, taking your ball and going home so no one can play.

Buddy was right about him having issues. However the reason why he said that to you and not your fat / bald buddies is because he sees you as someone with a chance / worthwhile investing his time to improve.

I bet he's an alpha male and your going to sit at home & sulk? He was so rude WOW, he merely said "and that can go", man is this guy ever mean. He should be sent to Prison, guys like that don't deserve to walk the earth.

 

[Jeremymichael]

fair enough MacAvoy, I get your jist, he is probably an alpha male. And funny you should say it, I am at home sulking.

 

[LoneSilver]

When someone suggest something and do it in a rude fashion it don't matter from that point on he will be put on my **** list. But if the intention is kind and thoughtful then I will listen to any suggestion but it hasn't happen because I am my own man and fit and most dudes my age around here where I live envy me.

I can hear the whispers of their wives and girlfriends why can't you be fit like him he has a nice ass just look how muscular and tight it is and oh his wide shoulders and flat stomach just look at them now thats a man lol!

It's hard to be humble when your perfect in everyway.

LoneSilver

 

[DJDamage]

http://dapook.blogspot.com/2006_09_01_archive.html

Why are so many males filled with guilt? I think it all comes down to the first Pookish Commandment: Be who you are. These guilt filled wimps are focused on what other people think of them. If feminists and academics say he is guilty, then presto, he is guilty. His value measuring stick is only in how other people percieve him.

I wonder if that is the root of all feminine thought: caring only how others percieve you. I have never met a woman who didn't care what others thought of her. Even the nastiest of feminists will point to fellow nasty feminists agreeing with her as if that is validity of her beliefs herself.

If a woman is bothering me, I have noticed if I say: "You should have heard what the other girls said about you!" BAM! She shuts up and demands to know what was said. As a man, I know I am percieved to be an ass to all women. But I know women care about what other women think and highly regard them so. Their female friends constantly backstab each other (or at least have the potential to). Female friendships are as thin as paper. So if I say, "Your friends said some of the nastiest stuff about you!" the woman will go bonkers. "Tell me!" she cries. "I must know what they said!" It is safe to say that every woman has told her friends secrets, even of the most nastiest sort, so even if I know nothing her fears of her percieved faults emerge. I just don't tell her and it drives her up a wall.

A real man doesn't care what others think or care about him. John Wayne does not ask people what they think of him. He just is who he is. When a male starts caring what everyone thinks of him, almost certainly he begins to adopt strange feminine characteristics. He may start to gossip, begin to dress to how others will percieve him, begin to talk in a way so he will be great in other people's eyes, and so on.

Every person filled with guilt (and I'm not talking about real guilt like the religious sin type) is due to them caring about what other people think. One person said to me, "Pook, do not wear your cowboy hat on your trip for the Californians do not like Texans." My response was, "**** the Californians! I shall lead an army of pick-up trucks and conquer their girly state! I am a Pook! I shall wear the biggest cowboy hat I can find!" The other states complain Texans have too much state pride. I just laugh at them. What else should I do? Should I grovel and feel guilty over nothing? As an American, I hear much anti-American nonsense especially that I ought to be 'ashamed' because there are non-Americans who don't like my country. "They hate us, Pook." So what!? When did nations begin conducting foreign and domestic policy based on being liked by other countries? There is nothing to feel guilty about with looking out for yourself... either in your nationality, in your relations with women, and so on. What is next? Am I to marry bitter washed out career women because... they will hate me if I do not? Please!

Let me get on my knees. "Please have mercy on me, oh most wonderful feminists. I was a silly Pook and thought I had to live life to my own soul rather than the authority of your shame." Screw that! Give me my cowboy hat. I would rather die on feet than live on my knees.

Cast off that matriarch's guilt and, suddenly, all their arrows of shame will bounce harmless off you. They cannot shame you or control you. The guiltless man has no place in their midst.

 

[S.S.N. 318]

http://dapook.blogspot.com/2006_09_01_archive.html

REAL TALK.....fa realz...

 

[LoneSilver]

After reading that about Pook and the cowboy hat it reminded me years ago while at a club. I had decided I wanted to wear my cowboy hat and if the club allowed me to enter with it I would continue to wear it while here there.

Well, during the night here comes this ***** girl thinking she is going to deflate my ego or something and says to me "your not a real cowboy" in a snotty nosed way and I look at her and say "you are correct my dear, correct, I give you an A+ for having good sense" and your not a real blonde" either.

She walked off in a huff and my friends and the ladies standing around heard what I said and smiled real big showing their pearly whites and were impressed of my comeback.

Stand guard to your being it's the manly thing to do.

LoneSilver

 

[joekerr31]

a few things id take away from this...

1) this guy isn't your friend. he's an acquiantence, dont get the two mixed up. most people in this world aren't goign to care enough about you to care about hurting your feelings

2) the fact that you got so upset tells me that YOU feel there is something wrong with your look. either that or you have low self esteem. so dont blame him for YOU getting upset - your upset because of your own thoughts over how you dress, not his comment.

3) the dude sounds like he himself has low self esteem and while drunk saw an opportunity to knock you down a peg (thereby boosting himself up a peg). most of the 'meanness' in the world is done by people who think that by knocking others down they somehow move up the ladder somehow.

i say this because if this were not the case he would have been more subtle and empathetic in his advice to you.

so

- open your eyes and accept that that people you hang out with are not 'friends'. Friends are people who have your back through thick and thin.

- get a new wardrobe nto because of him, but because its obviously an issue YOU feel you have

- when someone tries to knock you down brush it off and keep on moving. theres nothing worse in life than letting the bottom feeders convince you that they are better than you.

 

[edmond]

Hello everyone feeling a bit deflated this morning. last night I met up with a mate who had been drinking quite a bit, but he was pleasent enough initially. We left after a beer to go to another bar and I was feeling good when he told me that a few drink colleagues had been discussing me and that I should change my style, e,g hairstyle, clothes etc.. At one point he said "and that can go",pointing at my Ted Baker fleece. It was quite embarassing so I said I need to go to the cash point and decided to go home.

Why do people feel the need to be insulting when drunk. I have know the guy for a couple of years and he never mentioned anything before. I am quite a sensitive guy and was thinking about getting a hair cut, but I think he was incredibly rude and I am now thinking of avoiding him. At best he could have saved the converstation for when he was not drunk and said something like "I'm going to ge my haircut next week, looks like you could do with the same".

In the same week another girl said "why haven't you got a girl friend you are good looking". I feel awkward now because I do not know has been gossiping about me, but I know I am good chap.

Any thoughts?-many thanks

Maybe you do look awful, lake a step back and look at your self.
I did that and realised how badly I dressed.

 

[Sinistar]

Maybe the real question is: Why did what he say bother you so much?

 

[Jeremymichael]

it bothered me because I thought I was looking good, and it has dented my confidence

 

[Jeremymichael]

thanks, one thing this guy is a scruffy bugger (he's a builder) so he not the person to give advice. I think maybe I need new friends. This girl in my local pub who has a boyfriend keeps telling me I'm good looking so I would take her advice over his. Having said that I plan to get some new groovy clothes at the end of the month, but in the UK a lot of the fashions I do not like, they appear fairly femine. I would like some smart casual clothes, denim style