Rough Times, Help

[JD4334]

I recently have been going through some tough times with relationships and with women is general. I ended a 4 year relationship and got involved with another one that was a disaster from the get go. It seems as though I attract women whom I am not attracted to. It also seems that when a woman I like is attracted to me, she soon disappears.

I have a good job, nice car, family and friends, and look good. I have one’its that’s interfering with my own life, job, and friends. I just can’t stop thinking about the times I shared with these women and just wish it would have lasted longer. Finally, I need to make a change and that’s why I am here. Any advice would be appreciated greatly.

 

[WestCoaster]

Very simple plan, though you've heard it 100 times:
1. Work on yourself first. Get in shape, get some hobbies, further your education and/or career.
2. Be positive, friendly, and outgoing to everyone. Carry your head high, say 'hi' to people, be positive. Negativity repels women like bug spray.
3. Date as many women as possible, older, younger, hot, average, whatever. The more options you have, the better. Plus, a lot of dating practice is good for one's confidence, whether the gals work out or not. Even if you get shut down, at least you're asking.

I'd work on those things first. Oneitis is a natural state, sadly, I've had it many times

 

[Jackman]

Many of the men that have problems with women all have the same issue: They hear what women typically want in men and they take it too literally. Many men essentially eliminate themselves.

Your job, your car, your education...none of these things are really going to help you get women unless you happen to be exceptionally successful in any one of these areas (and even in these cases you'll likely attract gold diggers). They may certainly be helpful, of course, but in most cases they are not deal breakers. The only time a man needs to "concentrate" on these aspects of his life, as far as women go, is if they're on the sh-t end of it all; 30 something years old working at McDonald's, living at home and driving a 20 year old piece of sh-t. If you're at the very least average and normal in these facets of your life, then don't worry about it being a factor with women. And what I mean by that is don't expect it to help you or hurt you. Just don't consider it at all in so far as dating goes.

There are only two things you need: good looks and a personality. The more you have of one, the more you can usually slide on the other, but having a decent mixture of both is best. If you think you have both and you're still not getting anywhere, then you don't have both. Or at the very least, one quality isn't strong enough to make up for the lack of the other.

As far as everything else women say they typically want, consider it flexible unless they make it unconditionally clear otherwise that such and such a thing is a deal breaker.

For example, just because a woman might like to date guys taller than 6 feet doesn't mean they won't date a shorter guy, so long as the looks and the personality are there. So goes the same with just about anything else: money, education, travel experience and so forth.

Hit the gym and earn a body women like, become fun & interesting in your conversations and you'll have a lot more women to chose from. You don't typically get oneitis when you're swimming in opportunities.

 

[flexion_]

I have one’its that’s interfering with my own life, job, and friends. I just can’t stop thinking about the times I shared with these women and just wish it would have lasted longer. Finally, I need to make a change and that’s why I am here. Any advice would be appreciated greatly.

Well you already know your problem. Start looking up threads on how to deal with oneitis - all kinds of them here.

 

[Phyzzle]

It seems as though I attract women whom I am not attracted to. It also seems that when a woman I like is attracted to me, she soon disappears.

Another simple slogan:

How do you TREAT those not-so-attractive women?

Why don't you treat the attractive ones in exactly the same way?