Rod Carew's Approach to Women

mustang123

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I've been kicking back here in my apartment watching spring training and something dawned on me: dealing with women is no different than stepping up to the plate and hitting a baseball!

Hear me out. All you baseball fans know that some of the attributes of the best hitters relate to their attitudes - confidence, patience, savvy, etc. Think of all the greats from the past and the all-stars of today. When facing a pitcher, they all have this air of self-assurance about them. This poise always results in success.

When you're walking up to the batter's box, you can't let that woman who's standing on the mound intimidate you. You can't be fooled at whatever she's gonna throw at you.

You don't even have to swing at all of her pitches. You can wait for the one that's best for you. You've got to be patient up there at the plate. You can even step out of the box in between pitches, adjust your batting gloves, assess the field, and read the signs from your third base coach.

Don't hack away at all the balls she chucks in your direction. She's trying to see whether you're dumb enough to fall for her spitball, or if you're shrewd enough to lay off that garbage.

Don't swing for the fences. That's the common mistake of all foolish hitters. If you overtly come off like you want to get a woman into bed within 5 minutes, you'll strike out and get frustrated.

Do what all good hitters do. Just make contact. Hit the singles. Don't worry. You'll eventually round the bases and reach home.

Ted Williams didn't just blindly swing at everything thrown his way. He was in control at the plate. You can be too.

Sometimes you're gonna end up in a slump. That happens. It's simply a fact of life for a big leaguer. Don't worry, it's a long season. Just keep going up to the plate and wait for your pitch.

Sometimes you'll do everything right, drive the ball real well and hit it hard, and it will happen to go right to a fielder. In the Don Juan Division, not every woman is meant to be won over. In baseball, if you get on base safely 30% of the time in your career, you've got a good shot at the Hall of Fame. You have to accept that sometimes you won't succeed. With women, you'll probably ground out more often than hitting a home run. That's all right. Just keep your head up and try again in your next at bat.

Other times, the pitcher will jam your hands, but luckily you'll hit a bloop fly that will land between two fielders, and you'll end up safely on first base. That's fine. That's how baseball is, and that's how it is dealing with women.

Baseball is one of the few sports where you can win with your head, not brute strength, height, or other god-given skills. Believe it or not, the sport of women is exactly the same. You gotta know what your doing and believe in yourself. Now go out there, enjoy the sunshine and the smell of the grass, and play ball. Show the ladies your not some confused, insecure rookie, but a talented and experienced veteran.
 

DIESEL

Master Don Juan
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yet another interpretation of the basic Zen-like approach the DJ bible advocates towards women.

I really dig the Rod Carew analogy...I'm a baseball nut.

good show and well written!

-D
 
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