Road trip with 7 girls, and how not to mess it up

[phoenixriver]

I'm 26 and I'm back on the dating scene after ending a 3-year relationship. I met a 24 year-old girl through salsa about a month ago. We haven't gotten very physical yet (beyond the considerable contact of salsa dancing) and most of the expressions of affection are kisses on the cheek and lips. We only see each other once a week, but we were introduced by friends who made it clear they were hooking us up.

Turns out I'm going with her to Florida on a road trip this Christmas and New Year. Sounds like a nice time to get close and intimate with her... right?

Turns out there's a catch. Six other people are coming on the trip, and they're all females, and they're all under 25. (One's only 19 - don't know how she's going to fare at the front doors of clubs.) One is my girl's younger sister, and the others are all friends of the sister. And we're all sharing a two-bedroom holiday villa. The sleeping arrangements alone should be interesting to see.

At first, this sounds like a dream. What redblooded guy would not want to be with a load of young chicks heading down to Florida for New Year's? Slam dunk, right? But then my brain starts working normally and a few things occur to me:

1. The girlfriend's there. Or at least, I think of her as my girlfriend. We're a little unclear about this beyond salsa and smooches, and it's probably not the best time or place to try to figure it out with six others around.
2. I need to get on something. Wet the reed. Lead the llama to the lift shaft. Establish a sausage-and-donut situation. Put it any way you want, I haven't had sex in three months, and now this girl's the closest candidate I've got for a regular bedpartner. Is this something I should be trying to push for before the trip? Much as I see the attraction of getting a room with her in a nice villa, I'm also leery of the other ones snooping around wondering what big sister's up to.
3. A minor point, but important: Being trapped in a moving vehicle with talkative girls for 20 hours at a stretch is somewhat taxing. My only respite is they're probably all going to speak Spanish, which I don't understand, so at least I won't be bored.

I've met the sister, who seems fairly sound. I haven't met the other girls and my girl doesn't know much about them. I'm at the stage where I don't know if I'm definitely in with the one girl I started off with. I don't know if my relationship with her means I have to exclude any others. I wonder if I should try to bed her and make it a done deal before the trip. (Which will obviously lead to the issue of how.)

Post your questions, comments, or advice. Or just post and point and laugh - I know I would!

 

[Cod3r]

You're going into a shvit-storm...

First of all you won't be getting sex from any of the sisters friends... X that out !

I don't know what you expect people to tell you, ur planning on going down there with your 'gf' so your real question should be how to isolate and fvck her because fvckin anyone else is going to lead into alot of stuff u ain't ready for...

The sister and friends will go out partying ALOT, once they leave its all yours. Also if the other girls are being lame and hanging around, set up a dinner or something with the gf and she'll shoo them away, either way this isn't hard at all unless you're seriously planning on doing something naughty...

I have no advice for u there, that's a hard situation... really hard :wink:


-Cod3r

 

[phoenixriver]

So basically the final question comes down to: should I try to sleep with her before the trip or during?

Before the trip obviously means fewer people around to press their faces against the window. Tricky part is we only see each other once a week, and then for salsa mostly. I've brought her back to my place once, with friends, but I that time I didn't prevail upon her to stay the night.

On the trip itself we'd have more time together and we're already sleeping beneath the same roof. Of course, there's the challenge of getting away from the others...

But then again we're staying in a two-bedroom villa. If I end up getting my own bedroom, looks like I'd be sorted

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

"Road trip with 7 girls, and how not to mess it up"

*buzzer*

u lost, right there.
Instead of thinking "how do I not mess it up?", you need to think "how can I make it an experience that we will never forget?"

 

[selfmademob]

Just "Show it to her"

 

[Charm]

Be a man. Isolate her. Isolate her. Be BOLD and tell her that you have plans for her and you. She has been hanging out with these girls for years and her sister for 19 years. She probably wants to spend the majority of the time there with you so make sure that happens. The first time everyone goes out, go out with them. After that though, start making seperate plans.

 

[MacAvoy]

Be a man. Isolate her. Isolate her. Be BOLD and tell her that you have plans for her and you.

As Cod3r said your going into a sh1t storm so be prepared. Your gonna have to be bold and be aggressive. At the same time, you can't come off as a controlling guy. You have to spend most of your time with all the ladies. Trying to isolate her too much will get you nowhere. She's going on vacation with 6 g/fs, she's just bringing you along for the ride. She's not going on vacation with you and bringing 6 g/fs for the ride. Remember that.

She has been hanging out with these girls for years and her sister for 19 years. She probably wants to spend the majority of the time there with you so make sure that happens. The first time everyone goes out, go out with them. After that though, start making seperate plans

This is where Charm is wrong. It is gonna take mad DJ skills to make this trip work. She isn't madly in love with you yet, your going to have to work and work hard to get in there. When you've got a group of girls together, there gonna be doin there thing, so you have to fit in and make sure your not a bump on a log. You have to take active part in the conversation etc...

Finally I would definately make a move before you go. You need to know exactly what the situation is. From what you described you could already be in the friends zone, you don't want to find that out when your on vacation with 6 girls, you'll look like a total loser with no way to recover.

If you make your move now, you find out exactly where you stand. If your in the friends zone, you can then make a move on any of the 6 girls or use them all as wingwomen. When you have a group like that it can be fun, they'll all buy into it. You can also help them out.

Finally finding private time to make out with her is going to be hard when your all crammed in a 2 bedroom villa. That means if you want a night alone with her, 4 girls have to sleep in the other bedroom. Not very likely.

So be prepared, your not walking into a dream. Its more of a logistics nightmare, but if played properly, could be one heck of a team.

 

[Charm]

Well if he has developed high enough IL then she definetely will want to spend time with him, but after reading your post, Ill admit I may be wrong. We dont know this girl so we can assume your probably right but perhaps I am.

 

[Charm]

Just bring your VISA and when you need to, rent a hotel! Logistics problem solved.

 

[MacAvoy]

Just bring your VISA and when you need to, rent a hotel! Logistics problem solved.

Agreed but your already spending money to travel to Florida and presumably chipping in for the villa. Thats alotta dough to be spending on a girl who's couchie you've never even sniffed yet.

The fact that we (or he ) doesn't even know where he stands with this girl is the problem. He needs to know this before he leaves. It changes the dynamics of the trip. No matter how high her IL is for him, she'll want to spend at least 50% of her time with the girls, I'd even go as far as saying minimum 75%.

I would make plans for a nice intimate dinner alone.

 

[Charm]

Im siding with MacAvoys idea of find out where she stands before this trip ASAP to make sure you are not walking into something expecting one thing and getting another. Youre in charge of your own destiny.

Oh, my comment about the VISA applies to any lady he happens to meet while in Florida if things don't work out

 

[phoenixriver]

That's a good idea, Charm - I shall keep that in mind. As for the villa itself, there's no rental cost to me because it's all free. (My girl's sister won it in a Hispanic radio station call-in contest... she gets bored easily and does impulsive things.) So I'm sure I can AmEx a hotel room for myself and for my girl if we can't get a quiet moment at the villa.

As for my girl, whom we'll call J - she definitely knows I'm interested in her. And I'm confident she's interested in me. We were set up on a date by two mutual salsa friends and that's how we met. So I think there's no risk of her realistically trying to fool me into staying "just friends".

I am trying to turn it romantic and physical right now, but no progress so far. We've been on five or six dates together over the past month. She's been to my house for the first time just last weekend, but she didn't stay overnight. I know she's dated other guys and I've heard that her most recent guy was not particularly nice to her. No indications on virginity either way, though. (For me it matters a little - I prefer non-virgins.)

Maybe there's a cultural barrier? She's from Peru, though not religious, if that helps. :/

Just for shvits and gviggles, here is the racial composition of the other females in the group (where known to this researcher):

* Peruvian (J)
* Peruvian (J's sister)
* Chinese
* Persian (I suppose Iranian)
* Mexican
* And sundry others...

(Standard deviation of +/- 2.4 Spanish-speaking nations. Researcher himself is Chinese.)

The other girls are not J's friends. They're friends of J's sister, and she doesn't hang out with them that much, though she does know a few of them. So that's a minor blessing - it's not like she's best buds with them for dozens of years.

Just out of curiosity, what's IL? Interest Level?

Anyway - current mission is to launch a spring offensive and infiltrate her pants BEFORE the trip. This coming Saturday could be a good time for it: the friends we normally salsa with aren't coming, so it'll just be me and her in the club. A nice dinner beforehand, and a few margaritas on both sides, and we'll see what happens...

(And if you have any more advice, let's hear it.)

 

[Cod3r]

I am trying to turn it romantic and physical right now, but no progress so far. We've been on five or six dates together over the past month.

The more I experience in this game, the more i'm confident in saying...

"You've already fvcked up"


-Cod3r

 

[Bible_Belt]

So I think there's no risk of her realistically trying to fool me into staying "just friends".

You mean continually fooling you into staying just friends. She has been the one playing you - she gets a "boyfriend" and a dance parter, and you have gotten nothing in return from her. Now she gets a travel companion as well, and all of this before she has even really kissed you. That previous guy who you have heard did not treat her well was probably also fvcking her. You've been had. Go find an easier lay.

 

[KennyVendetta]

6 dates and you have only escalated to light kissing?



Seriously - You have to press the issue BEFORE this trip. I thought we all followed the three date rule?

Also - expect major jealousy/****blocks from her friends...that's just how young women are...

 

[phoenixriver]

Right, so the way I see it, Saturday's going to be sort of a milestone indicator. I'll see if I can take her home to stay the night (her place won't work, for complicated reasons of housemates). If not, then ... what? Break off the trip? Break off with her?

A final note: I wasn't raised in the States, so a lot of these norms are new to me. Like the "three date rule" - I'd never come across that before. You learn something new every day.

 

[JLW]

I agree with MacAvoy. He gives good advice.

 

[T Money]

Call In Sick!!!

 

[MacAvoy]

Here's another stratedgy BUT why not work on ALL the girls. Make them laugh and flirt with ALL of them so you get them to start competing for your attention

He can't even get more than a kiss after 6 dates. How the hell is he going to flirt with 6 women?

To top it off he was willing to wait another month before he was going to make a move. All around flaws in his game. He should be out sarging, gettin numbers, elevating his game so that experience could be used to create attraction for this girl.

He's got classic AFC signs. Its time to take all his eggs out of this basket and chalk it up to learning experience.

Men have to lose the mindset that every nice chick they meet is potentially "the one". They need to realize that they need experience and have to fail with women in order to know what works and what doesn't work.

 

[phoenixriver]

Hmm. Interesting comments all round, and thanks for taking the time to respond. For the time being, I'm going to continue with the road trip plan, because that's a little too far developed to break off. (And frankly it sounds like it'll be good fun, girls or no girls - I mean come on - six days in Orlando in the midwinter? Can't miss!)

J has already gotten back in touch with me, saying this Saturday won't be anything more than just salsa and dinner. We both have Finals exams starting next week, so I don't blame her.

I think I may have a different time frame from the rest of you guys. I'm a first year law school student, and if you know anything about law school, first year's generally the worst time possible to even think about a new relationship. I wouldn't even normally consider it, except this lady was dropped in my lap by friends. If it doesn't work out with her, well - too bad, but I was prepared to go the whole first year without any girl anyway.

Anyhow, exams are looming and so I won't take up more of your time. Thanks for the input - you've all been great!