rise of the AFC inside

[Freddy.k]

I have been a while on this form and I usually pook stuff. About 10 month ago, I started changing and improving and putting myself to use.

I became comfortable taking to girls and being around them. I treated my hobbies like they were more precious then women. I knew what I wanted and how to get it.
I was shrugging of that AFC guy within me and was on the road to Don Juan.

I met a girl one in younger than me in our high school. I didn't have any interest in her because my friend was attracted to her, but I still talked to her in a friendly way. After a few month we started to talk and have fun together.

Summer came and we were getting closer. We got really close to each other and we fell in love.
When summer ended and school started, I was a bit confused if I wanted her or not. I thought : “I have changed and I am sure I can get all the girls I want. Should I go for her, or should I look for other girls?” And that was when I was lost to my vanity and ego.

One month had passed since school started, and I barely talked to her. One day came when she of course had her hopes down that I would go for her, and started talking to another guy.
I didn't do anything about it the first week I saw her with him. I actually felt a strange happiness and didn't really care.

But after that week had ended my whole life changed. My heaven turned into hell.
I realized how much I love her.

I tried to fix things and I told her that I want her and I want us to be together. She was lost, and told me she has feelings for me, but she also have feelings for him. I believed the crap she said, and I told her that I can't be with her if she doesn't choose me. That was the last thing I did as a Don Juan I believe.

After that, I was crushed. I changed completely, but in a negative way.
I was always mad, unable to focused. I hated talking to girls, and I lost the smile on my face and the joy in my heart and life. All that I strived and fought for in my life was lost. I turned into a pessimist.
I was the exact opposite of what was written above 10 month ago.

The way I think changed and I lost all that I ever was. Now, I am a ****!ng desperate wimp.
I try talking to girls, but I can't remember what used to make it fun. I even stopped doing it because I am doing it all wrong. I am back at ground zero.

I hate what life has become the last 3 month and I can't bare it anymore. I am broken, I always lose, and all I do is weep and cry. I lost the most two precious things in life : me and her.

When I lost her, I lost myself. I tried so hard to win them back, but I just lost.

I told her many times I love her and got rejected. Desperate just doesn't attract girls, but I just can't seem to get out of this state of desperation. She is really a special girl ; the kind of girls you really want.

I want to win everything I lost.
I lost my dreams, patience, joy, love, peace, meaning of life, goals, passions, optimism.
Before, I wasn't completely satisfied with my life because I wanted so many things, but I had the most important things: joy, happiness and dreams.

What do you do when you are in so much crap?
How do you get out of this sh!t hole?
How do you break out of a life filled with sadness and desperation?
What do you do when your heart is torn apart, broken to pieces?

I tried many times to make things right, and in every time I failed harder.
Before, life was a gift to embrace ; Now it is immense pain to bear, and I can't keep up with it.
It has been 3 month I have been in a an eternal hell. All my thoughts are of desperation, fear, death and failure. It didn't use to be like this. I am at the bottom level of the AFC phase now, after I was climbing the Don Juan litter.

I just want to help myself and win back that love I lost along the way.

 

[Plutoman]

high school

This is all I needed to read.

Seriously - take a deep breath, realize that there are 3 frickin billion women out in the world. You met a girl that hit all your buttons in a place as small as your high school. Now multiply the number of women by 30, and imagine how many you can find in college that'll hit all the right buttons.

Now multiply that by another 50-60, and there's the number you can find in a single city when you start looking.

You are young. Very young. What you are dealing with is hormones causing you to blindly lust for this one girl. Realize that it is a chemical process, not 'love' in and of itself. It's literally the withdrawal of chemicals your body produces which produces the heart pounding effect in your chest. It produces an effect similar to dropping a hard drug addiction.

Again, take a deep breath over it - and start meeting other women. Force a smile on your face, start working out (if you aren't already), start focusing on your high school and future college/career. You have dozens of years ahead of you to deal with women. Don't mess up career prospects over a woman, because that is much harder to recover from than it is to find a new woman.

 

[Freddy.k]

Again, take a deep breath over it - and start meeting other women. Force a smile on your face, start working out (if you aren't already), start focusing on your high school and future college/career. You have dozens of years ahead of you to deal with women. Don't mess up career prospects over a woman, because that is much harder to recover from than it is to find a new woman.

Plutoman, I am working out since it help in many way. I am trying to focus on my life, but it just seems impossible for me, although it is what I should do.
I was a great guy that focuses on his life and girls were the only for fun, back then.


I don't really know about the hormones effect, and although I believe what you said is completely right.

Lately this has caused me splitting headaches, and problems in every way you can think of.

I realize I have to forget and move, but every time I try to do this, I end up in the same place I am stuck in, and that just sucks. It is really hard and my life is going in circles.

 

[Plutoman]

The chemicals produce when you think you are in love are addictive, and the withdrawal of them causes the same symptoms as the withdrawal of a drug.

http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/0...up-similar-to-addiction-withdrawal/15375.html

The withdrawal of the chemicals can be physically painful. This is why it feels like your heart is pounding, like it's difficult to live.

There's nothing more to do but try to talk to other people. I'd encourage you to find a few friends to chill out with, to have fun. When I was at that age I was often spending time playing pool with friends, playing video games, all that.

You're not going to win this girl back. I'd encourage you to not contact her at all. Once you get through a certain amount of time, it will get significantly easier.

When you feel that pounding, that throbbing - do one of three things. Either 1) start doing 20 push ups for every time it happens, or 2) call up some friends and go out, or 3) play a game/read a book/do homework if it is at a bad time for the former two. Actually, I'd recommend always doing #1, and doing one of the other two alongside it depending on the time of day.