reverse psychology on attention wh0res work?

[big weezy]

I've been thinking about this the past couple days. Could reverse psychology work on attention wh0res to stop them flaking? (might not be 100% effective)

for instance, she'll not commit to a time and not offer a time. so you remove your attention. she'll contact u. you still dont give her attention. she suggest to meet up. you say 'you're not sure cos u dont know whether she genuinely likes u or only wants to arrange a meet up cos u stopped giving her attention'

she'll deny this and says its cos she likes you and promises. you say 'a womans promise means nothing to me, i judge a woman by her actions not words. how do i know if we arrange a time you're not just gona cancel?'

her: 'i promise i wont'
you: still that doesn't mean you're meeting me cos you like me, could just be cos im not giving you the attention and you just want to prove to yourself that i want to see you by arranging a time to meet but then that's it, you cancel. i'm only interested in women who like me for me not cos they're proving a point.

her: (i dont know what the response would be)

but anyway, i was just thinking, the problem is that ultimately the attention wh0re just wants u to confirm a time with her and then she cancels and moves on.. it seems pointless making a date with her unless you've already established that you think she's doing it just to prove a point which in reverse psychology may actually make her show?

 

[Iceberg]

I've been thinking about this the past couple days. Could reverse psychology work on attention wh0res to stop them flaking? (might not be 100% effective)

for instance, she'll not commit to a time and not offer a time. so you remove your attention. she'll contact u. you still dont give her attention. she suggest to meet up. you say 'you're not sure cos u dont know whether she genuinely likes u or only wants to arrange a meet up cos u stopped giving her attention'

I'd never say that. It sounds needy.

If you feel a need to justify not talking to her, just tell her you've been busy. Not "I'm not sure if you genuinely like me." What the F would you say that for? She's not your girlfriend. She doesn't have to genuinely like you. She just has to be intrigued enough to want to go on a date.

she'll deny this and says its cos she likes you and promises. you say 'a womans promise means nothing to me, i judge a woman by her actions not words. how do i know if we arrange a time you're not just gona cancel?'

"A woman's promise means nothing to me"??? What is this, man, a soap opera? Days of our Lives?

And "How do I know if you're not gonna just cancel?"

Ugh. Big Weezy = Big Drama. You can't be getting all emotional about stuff.

i'm only interested in women who like me for me not cos they're proving a point. [/QUOTE

Again. What too dramatic. This is an argument you'd have with your girlfriend of a couple years. Not some b*tch you're trying to score a first date with.

but anyway, i was just thinking, the problem is that ultimately the attention wh0re just wants u to confirm a time with her and then she cancels and moves on.. it seems pointless making a date with her unless you've already established that you think she's doing it just to prove a point which in reverse psychology may actually make her show?

The problem is that you're trying to engage in this issue with an attention wh0re in the first place.

If your instincts are telling you that she's not really planning on meeting you, then back out. F**k it. Find a new one.

If you want some kind of "mind game" that MIGHT get the attention wh0re to change her opinion of you, it's that. Moving forward and showing her (not telling her) that she was just one of many girls you're kicking game to. And if she's moving too slow for you, you'll just grab another.

But you damn sure don't go around verbally saying, "I'm not sure if you like me." Who wants to date a person like that? Not me. Not any woman either.

EDIT

I don't want to completely rip on you. Withholding attention is an effective tactic. So your thinking is headed in the right direction. Where you're going wrong is with all that emotional, "Woe is me. I'm not sure if you like me" crap. You want to portray yourself as having better things to worry about than this one girl. Showing her how her flakiness is affecting you will just validate her attention wh0re behavior.

 

[CuriousGirl]

I'm not sure if this is a good idea...it depends on the situation. If you've just met and you don't know what each other want from each other (or have even made your mind up about each other) then that comes across as a bit to strong/serious. If you're both older and looking for something more serious then it's fair enough, just cut to the chase, but if you yourself are just looking for casual dating or whatever then I think it's a bad idea.

So say you don't really know much about each other, that first line ("not sure cos....gen likes..blah"), it's ok, maybe implies you're the right kind of sensitive yet don't take bull**** and perceptive.
The next line is just too heavy, esp if you hardly know her, I would have lost interest there. "A woman's promise means nothing to me.." Woah ok, chill out! Even if you said "A person's promise means nothing to me..." you're just bringing a much serious and quite loaded undertone to the whole thing, and so early on, strangely it just screams 'high maintenance'/hard work/insecure.
Of course you're absolutely right, actions speak louder than words, but it comes across in the wrong manner, like you have a problem and distrust of people/women rather than just voicing an observation many people share. That kind of thing is best brought up when you are already having or initiating a conversation around each others thoughts and opinions on things - people will pay attention and notes things like that (particularly if it crops up spontaneously when you've responded to something that's happened). Perfect example of realising this is when someone tells you they thought 'this' of you, you ask why or "How did you know that!?" and they say because of the time when you did/said 'this' (insert an otherwise-forgettable-moment-in-past here).

 

[big weezy]

I'd never say that. It sounds needy.

If you feel a need to justify not talking to her, just tell her you've been busy. Not "I'm not sure if you genuinely like me." What the F would you say that for? She's not your girlfriend. She doesn't have to genuinely like you. She just has to be intrigued enough to want to go on a date.



"A woman's promise means nothing to me"??? What is this, man, a soap opera? Days of our Lives?

And "How do I know if you're not gonna just cancel?"

Ugh. Big Weezy = Big Drama. You can't be getting all emotional about stuff.

i'm only interested in women who like me for me not cos they're proving a point. [/QUOTE

Again. What too dramatic. This is an argument you'd have with your girlfriend of a couple years. Not some b*tch you're trying to score a first date with.



The problem is that you're trying to engage in this issue with an attention wh0re in the first place.

If your instincts are telling you that she's not really planning on meeting you, then back out. F**k it. Find a new one.

If you want some kind of "mind game" that MIGHT get the attention wh0re to change her opinion of you, it's that. Moving forward and showing her (not telling her) that she was just one of many girls you're kicking game to. And if she's moving too slow for you, you'll just grab another.

But you damn sure don't go around verbally saying, "I'm not sure if you like me." Who wants to date a person like that? Not me. Not any woman either.

EDIT

I don't want to completely rip on you. Withholding attention is an effective tactic. So your thinking is headed in the right direction. Where you're going wrong is with all that emotional, "Woe is me. I'm not sure if you like me" crap. You want to portray yourself as having better things to worry about than this one girl. Showing her how her flakiness is affecting you will just validate her attention wh0re behavior.

No i appreciate your advice and criticism cos you're telling me the truth, im still getting to grips with understanding the game and i dont quite get it.. like i kinda understand the theory behind it but when i try to apply it i suggest stuff like above. in other words actions speak louder than words.

it's like when the girl will say ''i'll let you know'' instead of responding to it, justt ignore the msg.. let her wonder why you didn't reply then if she does say you're busy and made other plans.. the action is that telling her subconsciously 'if u dont give me a firm time im just gona make other plans'

but i think what you're saying ultimately is that with an attention wh0re, even if you withhold attention and she comes back, tries to get your attention then suggests to meet up and a time is agreed she may just flake? so would you say it's better to cancel on her in advance as in would that skyrocket her interest esp if she's a super hot girl who's never been cancelled on before?

it's like it needs to be pre-meditated.. if i dont cancel and she does i'll be kicking myself that i didn't do it first.. if i do but potentially she would have met up then i'm at a loss too, would trying to arrange another meet up be too difficult?

and lastly.. if im at that stage where i'm ignoring her and not giving her the attention she wants, and she starts texting me questions like 'hi how r you?' and 'what are you doing?'

is it too blunt for me to be like 'i'm great ' and 'lots of stuff ' i.e. short 1 line answers withotu looking butt hurt?

the prob is i write long paragraphs and long msgs so if i suddenly switch to 1 liners i may look butt hurt and upset even though the content is fine.

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like you're confused about what an attention ***** actually is. The only thing they care about is validation, admiration, attention, and anything else they can conive out of you. They'll tease and act interested - to get you interested in THEM - then pull away, and come back to make sure you're still interested - while teasing and giving you false hope. Rinse and repeat.

You can't "win" with them - because they never intend on being caught. It will just end up being a struggle for control, because they'll never give in. They'll try to lure you in, to get you to do everything - while they keep pulling away. The only "chasing" they do when you withhold your attention is to lure you back in. Just when you think you have them - they pull away again. All while acting like they never did anything to show interest, you're just friends, blah blah. Back and forth, back and forth.

Calling them out on it won't do you any good, because they'll just deny and lie about everything. That's assuming you can even get them to stick around long enough to do so. They tend to go in, get what they want, and leave.

 

[Iceberg]

No i appreciate your advice and criticism cos you're telling me the truth, im still getting to grips with understanding the game and i dont quite get it.. like i kinda understand the theory behind it but when i try to apply it i suggest stuff like above. in other words actions speak louder than words.

it's like when the girl will say ''i'll let you know'' instead of responding to it, justt ignore the msg.. let her wonder why you didn't reply then if she does say you're busy and made other plans.. the action is that telling her subconsciously 'if u dont give me a firm time im just gona make other plans'

Exactly. That's when the reality of the situation hits her.

She told Big Weezy "I'll let you know." Then Big Weezy goes ahead and makes other plans because she didn't commit. Now she knows that she has to set real plans or lose the opportunity to hang with you.

Nothing you can say will have a bigger impact than your actions.

but i think what you're saying ultimately is that with an attention wh0re, even if you withhold attention and she comes back, tries to get your attention then suggests to meet up and a time is agreed she may just flake? so would you say it's better to cancel on her in advance as in would that skyrocket her interest esp if she's a super hot girl who's never been cancelled on before?

No no. Hell no. If a girl reaches out to me and says, "Hey Iceberg, I was wondering if you're free Thurs. We can get a drink."

I wouldn't cancel on her just to prove a point. That's little kid stuff. This isn't war, man. No need for all that strategy.

My point is, if you offer a date to AW, and she flakes. Cool. Move forward. Don't waste your time trying again. BUT if she comes back to you, having learned the lesson that she only gets one shot with Big Weezy, then accept her offer and go to the date.

Of course if she flakes on THAT, then F**k it.

it's like it needs to be pre-meditated.. if i dont cancel and she does i'll be kicking myself that i didn't do it first.. if i do but potentially she would have met up then i'm at a loss too, would trying to arrange another meet up be too difficult?

Why would you be kicking yourself for not doing it first? Your goal is to get her into bed. Not to prove points to her. Canceling on her because you think she's going to cancel on you just results in you not having a date right? That is the pure end result. So your logic behind this move is flawed. In fact, I'd say you're not using logic to make that decision. You're using emotions. Let women make the emotional decisions. You can only win by using logic.

Don't play her games. Her games are designed for insecure, petty women. You are not a woman.

 

[perseverance]

Big Weezy, why are you trying to land an AW for? Why on earth would you want a woman like that for? If it's a random hook up then I can understand that, but if it's for casual dating then I would steer clear off such women. It's all about "me, me, me" with these women and it becomes tedious very quickly from my experience.

The best way to deal with AW's is not to deal with them at all.

 

[pdx1138]

unless you have a lot of free time you want to devote to scorning attention ho's I wouldn't bother putting any energy/effort into it.

Have you ever tried to reason with an attention ho and make her see things your way?

Well I have....it's simply not possible.

 

[chocococonut]

terrible idea. comes off as needy and clingy and will only lower your attractiveness to her. That is not reverse psychology at all. If you want someone who is used to getting a lot of attention from guys, being the center of every little social gathering, getting a ridiculous amounts of stares from everybody, then you need to do the exact opposite of everyone else. Bust on her a little bit. Give her a reality check. What you are doing is begging and asking for reassurance from her. How lame is that.

In a room full of people, a cat will walk towards whoever pays it the least attention.

If that doesn't work at all, it simply means she's just not into you. No point in pursuing something thats hopeless. Your interest in her makes no difference to her. Her interest in you is a total independent factor of your interest and if you show your interest too much, her interest will start sinking.

Try this approach (not exactly the words to use but the general idea of it)

you: Let's go out. (pull)

her: no im busy.

you: sounds great I'll pick you up. (pull)

her: Did you not hear me? I said no. (rejected)

you: No i didn't hear you. all i heard was im ready to have a great time. (pull)

_____________________________________________________


Do you notice the difference in approaches? This is implying that the plans were already agreed upon and set. It shows aggressiveness, not neediness. It shows confidence, not insecurity. Its important to demonstrate some push-pull. the harder you pull, the harder you must push. and vice-versa.

____________________________________________________


her: i said no.

you: okay, well you can have a nice night in with your parents. (push)

her: go away

you: ok, see you later. bye. (push)

____________________________________________________

Don't be afraid to push her. Take that risky move of being able to walk away and you will find that they come to you. If that doesn't work, you're just out of luck witj this girl

 

[joverby]

TLDR; So not sure if someone else didn't mention it.

It seems all nice on paper, right?

But there's a glaring flaw in your logic. You say that if a girl won't even commit to a time / day to hang out with you, that you can get her to do it by not talking to her?

Some girl that won't commit to a time or date definitely lacks the interest to be hunting you down and trying to get you to commit to a time.

 

[gaspipe]

I just go into default mode to filter out the fakes and the flakes. The so called two strike rule.

If she flakes on me once. I giver her the benefit of the doubt and allow her another chance. If she flakes on me twice then I throw her number away and never contact her again. If she does by chance contact me, I make her earn the privelege of seeing me; that is she comes over to my place, cooks me dinner, cleans my house, etc. Anything that does not require any effort on my part. Otherwise, I will kiss her sorry ass goodbye.

The point is why stress over trying to game a game playing woman?

I learned a long time ago that interested women make things easier on you and dont play games.

 

[perseverance]

I learned a long time ago that interested women make things easier on you and dont play games.

Yep. A woman who is interested in you will make it clear she is interested and if she is, she will look forward to going on a date with you. If you propose a time and a date and she cannot make the time or the date she will counter offer. If she doesn't take that a sign of low interest and move on.

Half the problem with dating is that there's far too much game playing. If I want to play a game I'll get my cluedo board out and have a night in with Colonel Mustard, the candlestick in the library.

 

[floydb25]

her: i said no.

you: okay, well you can have a nice night in with your parents. (push)

her: go away

you: ok, see you later. bye. (push)

____________________________________________________

Don't be afraid to push her. Take that risky move of being able to walk away and you will find that they come to you. If that doesn't work, you're just out of luck witj this girl

Good point. AW's are used to, and even expect you to go to them whenever they snap their fingers. Too many people give in too easily, and give them everything they want - simply because they whine, nag, pursue, tease, demand, etc. Any hint of interest is taken as a definite sign of interest, so they jump at any chance for her - only to be rejected again. Desperation is at the root of this problem.

The problem is, they are playing the same game you are. If they realize they can't manipulate or control you - they'll just find someone else. Its how they operate. They try to play their game on you - using every tool in their arsenol to do so - then eventually give up, and find someone else to manipulate instead.

The best thing to do is to recognize this kind of person, dont get sucked into their trap, and find someone else. These people are a huge waste of time and energy. If you get sucked in, they can also destroy you emotionally. Unless you like to be frustrated and confused - don't even bother.

 

[Iceberg]

The best thing to do is to recognize this kind of person, dont get sucked into their trap, and find someone else. These people are a huge waste of time and energy. If you get sucked in, they can also destroy you emotionally. Unless you like to be frustrated and confused - don't even bother.

So true.

They'll have you chasing your own tail the entire time you date them.

One day the complaint is, "You're too hot." the next day, it's "You're too cold." And while you're constantly trying to cool down or heat up to satisfy her, she's sitting back enjoying all the drama she's created.

 

[PapiChulo]

Floyd has it down to a T on AWs