REVERSE lOGIC

[ANIRBAN]

Hi DJs,

Based on my experience as well as similar feedback from my friends I have found this trend: It is normal that she might give out phone numbers to many guys who might call her before she met me (or even I might be the caller among them)..but what happens when she made a choice..picks "ME" from them. Even sometimes when we go out on a date then her phone rings..and she answers and talks politely with the men who are calling her..after she hangs upthe phone then she gives a brief explanation.."this guy calls me up often..i dont like him but he likes me a lot". Does that supposed to make me feel happy..what if she is talking to 100 guys behind my back..and hiding from me. If she has pick me from the lot then why she dont ask them to stop calling or just be rude and cut them out,why she has to speak nicely to them as if keeping their hopes burning.

On the other hand, when any girls calls me up from my office or some of my old friend..then she gets very jealous and practically asks me all sorts of insecure questions. So I told her that you also have many friends calling you, so do I. She then feels insecure. How do I deal with this problem. She tells me that she really really loves me from her heart.!!!

I understand that she likes the attention of all the callers and some of them are her brother's friends and they come to their house and even give her presents on her B'day and she happily accepts all gifts from them. Needless to say, I already broke up with this ***** a month ago. but I still keep thinking of this problem. Is she not sincere to me..or she is trying other options or why she still gives them hope when she has chosen me. I just want to know your DJ strategies to handle this problem in the future. All my previous girlfriends were very honest and dediated givers and I had a great time with them .Just that this babe is up on the scale may be a 8 or 8.5 and so is in demand. How do I deal with this in the future. Thanxx

 

[DavenJuan]

same problem

i am in a similiar boat as you. My ex (who i still sleep with 2-3days a week) hates the fact that i talk to other girls. She gets VERy VERY jealous and always complains about it even though we are seperated. but she on the other hand talks to other guys as well. She meets guys at clubs, stays over guys houses, gives out her number. Everytime i bring this up saying that why is it okay for you and not for me, her response is " she really doesnt meet people and she never really follows through with any of it".

Its not fair for me to have to put up with her sh*t that she gives me for tryin to be honest with her when she asks me questions about other women. Yet she can talk to whomever she wants and its okay. I dont care that she is talking to other guys, but i do care that i have to hear her mouth about who i talk to.

I really dont know how to handle that situation either. I think it might be just a lose-lose situation, unless someone knows otherwise.

 

[violator]

You probably had an attention wh0re on your hands. Read the recent post concerning "How To Land An Attention Wh0re" that explains the characeteristics of an AW and their drawbacks for future reference.

 

[USSOCOM]

You can tell what scares people by what they use to scare you. She is probobly VERY jelous, so she feels that she has to make it sound like shes in high demand. I would talk to her about it if it bothers you so much.....

 

[ANIRBAN]

Attention *****

Hi,

I undertand that I should not be bothered but in many cases she also flirts with guys and appreciated their gift and even shows them off to me. I am bothered cause we are in a relationship. If not, I would be ****ing around left and right and let her pet AFCs do the gift giving. just that I have some integrity and I also expect my lady to have the same.so I feel that its unfair on her part ..when she does not shut off the other competitors..even after the competition is over..and I have come out as the winner.
On the contrary, she even boasts to her friends about having me and often takes me to meet her female friends just to show me off and her friends also admire me. If I am such a good catch to her..then why she has to keep in touch with other men..unless she is an Attention ***** !!! Thanks for all your inputs..

 

[DavenJuan]

the competition is NEVER over. There will always be someone else out there. Always remember that, if you dont, then you will get comfortable, and you dont want that to happen. As far as your GF is concerned, ask her why she accepts gifts from other guys, let her answer you, and leave it at that. Atleast you will have an answer, regardless if it is acceptable to you or not. I dont think that you want to let your GF know that what she thinks as just friends get in the way of your relationship. All women, hell, all people adore attention, and want it. If she is getting attention from all these other guys but shes comn' home to you, i dont see what the problem is. Anything worth having comes with a price.

 

[PEACEDJ]

The bottom line. You broke up with her... the end.


Oh and if you really want an explanation then I say that she was very selfish and even though she gave you her respect... eventually she's the type that'll die out.

 

[trajhenkhet]

I hear ya ANIRBAN. The way I deal with this "oddity" is to remind the lady that I don't go out and threaten to demolish every male friend she has. On a personal side note on the subject, I haven't noticed too many married women or ladies in LTR's that have been going on for years with a lot of male friends.

 

[Hypoxia]

Even sometimes when we go out on a date then her phone rings..and she answers and talks politely with the men who are calling her..after she hangs upthe phone then she gives a brief explanation.."this guy calls me up often..i dont like him but he likes me a lot". Does that supposed to make me feel happy..what if she is talking to 100 guys behind my back..and hiding from me. If she has pick me from the lot then why she dont ask them to stop calling or just be rude and cut them out,why she has to speak nicely to them as if keeping their hopes burning.

Wow dude.. I was in a similar situation with an ex girlfriend of mine back in my old AFC days.. All I can say, from my experience, is that she is running the game on you. That's what it looks like from here anyway. Don't do what I did, tell her how you feel about it. Let her know that as long as she's stringing other people along your not ready to spend time with her, because from what I learned (the hard way) She is doing the same to you. When you call her she is saying those same things to other guys about you. Don't let it happen to you.

Oh yeah, one more thing. I let it be known when I am out with someone that people who talk on cell phones during dates or meetings is a big turnoff.

 

[ANIRBAN]

Mobile Phoney

Hey Dude,

Thanks! Thats a great idea of letting her know that I dont like my girlfriend (in relationship) to talk to men on her mobile phone..but dont you think that in that case I will be more unaware of what exactly going on in her life or how many Men she has on her list. Who knows when she is away from me..then she might turn ON her mobile phone and then she is avilable to the all the Men in the world. Thats kind of cheating right !! In case a man calls her during our date in a "relationship" I think its my right to ask her casually about the caller..and if I feel that she is lying..then what do I do..should I probe her more, start cheating on her or interrogate her in more detail..I have faced this mobile phone problem a lot ..and feel kinda frustrated. Sometimes my girlfriend totally turns off the mobile during the night time when she stays over and when i ask why your phone is off..then she casully replies that I have low battery..but when she goes out. Then I turn on her phone and I fond she has full battery....but I dont act jealous..but I dont feel good either....I hate this my friends..maybe its my problem..should I just forget it!!

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

The answer to this one is very simple. This girl is getting calls from all sorts of guys. She says its harmless and nothing to worry about... but then she freaks out when it's reversed. I've seen this happen and I've seen both of the two reasons why it happens.

1. The girl has a double standard. There's a set of rules she must follow, and a set of rules that you must follow, and -- GASP! -- the set of rules she must follow are a lot more lax than the stricter set of rules for you.
2. She's cheating on you, or at least romantically interested in one or more of the men calling her. This works basically the same way as someone who is cheating who accuses the other party of cheating. Most people are very egocentric and believe that other people will do the same thing that they do. So if she's cheating on you with one of the guys calling her, she assumes that you're cheating on her with one of the girls calling you. And then, we go back to #1.
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