Responding to "Am I ugly?" shít test

[IBreatheSpears]

This morning I was at this girl's house in her bed. We hadn't had sex yet but I knew it was coming. Out of nowhere she said, "Do you think I'm really ugly?". I figured it was probably a shít test but she has told me that she has very low self-esteem before so it may have just been genuine insecurity because she also said that when she took her clothes off she thought I became distant.

I wasn't sure what to say, so in response I laughed "What?", then said "Yeah, totally" in a sarcastic tone (I thought of agree & amplify but now I think it was a mistake). She said "okay" in a small voice. I asked why I'd think so, and she said she didn't know. I seem to have gotten away with it but I'm wondering if anyone can think of a good way to respond to that.

What do you think? How would you respond?

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

That's always a tough one in my opinion. Some girls are wiling to say they have low self esteem and others you have to observe it.

I don't think you made a wrong move. Long as you were playful and cool about it, you'll defuse the emotions that might be pumping through her as she admits she's got poor self-image.

In my humble experience, these girls are easy to get into you but are just as easy to fall for someone else who makes them feel good. This is especially true if they don't have a lot of experience dating. They are like crack addicts for attention and will go for a bigger "fix" in the form of a better looking guy or one who has the "grass is greener" aura.

Last chick I dated was like that - thought I was too good for her physically at first. She watned to know what my exes looked like and what my ideal woman was, etc.

Just keep it light and casual. Be ready to walk away if you catch her texting other dudes a lot or flirting. Just went through that **** myself. They get a little sip of power and they start trying to chug.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Let Her Marinate on This

How would you respond?

Rex would tell her, "Being that Rex doesn't mess with ugly women you're the cutest chick that I've ever f*cked," and I'd leave it at that.

 

[VikingKing]

Her: Am I ugly?
Me: You ask stupid qustions.

 

[Igetit!]

This morning I was at this girl's house in her bed. We hadn't had sex yet but I knew it was coming. Out of nowhere she said, "Do you think I'm really ugly?". I figured it was probably a shít test but she has told me that she has very low self-esteem before so it may have just been genuine insecurity because she also said that when she took her clothes off she thought I became distant.

I wasn't sure what to say, so in response I laughed "What?", then said "Yeah, totally" in a sarcastic tone (I thought of agree & amplify but now I think it was a mistake). She said "okay" in a small voice. I asked why I'd think so, and she said she didn't know. I seem to have gotten away with it but I'm wondering if anyone can think of a good way to respond to that.

What do you think? How would you respond?

I once had a girl do this....same situation where we were alone...in my bedroom,bout to have sex.

Don't remember exactly what she said,but it was something about what I thought about how she looked. Don't know why girls do that right when sex is about to occur,but whatever....


Anyway,when she asked me that,I said to her....

"Let me show you something". Then I pulled my pants down and showed her my d!ck....all hard...all erect and throbbing. Then I said,"You see that? That's how I feel whenever I look at you. So you can say whatever you want about how you look,but me....this (I pointed at my d!ck)....this is how I feel."


After I said all that,she had a HUGE grin on her face. Then we proceed to....well....you know. :yes:

 

[SmooveMooves]

"Only every other Thursday"

Stupid questions warrants stupid answers.

 

[LondonTowers]

In my humble experience, these girls are easy to get into you but are just as easy to fall for someone else who makes them feel good. This is especially true if they don't have a lot of experience dating. They are like crack addicts for attention and will go for a bigger "fix" in the form of a better looking guy or one who has the "grass is greener" aura.

This. In my opinion this is somewhat of a red flag if you are planning to get serious with this girl. It highlights deep insecurity. You may find you are going to be the guy that spends all his time propping up her self esteem and when you start getting tired of doing this, she will start getting attracted to validation from another guy. Just be aware of this, while most girls have certain insecurities about their looks, there is a limit.. the ones with deep self esteem issues tend to not value the relationship based on qualities other than filling the void of self loathing they have.. as such can easily shift attention elsewhere.

 

[Jaylan]

"Would I be here if you were?" Then smile, kiss her, and continue hanging out. This isnt rocket science, and its not a sh!t test. Its simply an insecure woman wanting to feel like shes attractive to the man shes with.

/thread

 

[goldengoose]

Most of these chicks don't even know what they are saying. The best response is no response at all. Start kissing her neck and rubbing her t1ts and that will shut her up until you start banging her. You don't need to respond to every stupid little thing they say. If she's that insecure she will say it to you the next time. Go by your actions and not words. Most chicks don't even listen to what you say anyway. Do less talking and more fvcking.

 

[RagingBalls]

she also said that when she took her clothes off she thought I became distant.

^This. She thought you didn't like what you saw. Thus the validation, or a sh1t test, whatever.

Did she saw you with a look like this? or ? I think not.

She's expecting this or this :rockon: which made her if you liked what you see.

What happened when she took of her clothes? Did you :nono: ?

or you had this .... Tada!!! the fleshy sword of Don Juan 8=====D ??? Then proceeds to deviously devouring her flesh like you just got out of jail, pounding her hard and fvcking her brains out...then eats her panty for dessert :yes:


I demand an answer

 

[Albatross953]

Don't catch feelings for this one. A long term capable woman wouldn't have these issues.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Compliments get a bad reputation, because so many guys use them incorrectly. My rule with them is that they are perfectly ok, once she gets naked. Every woman is insecure at some level without clothes on. Compliments don't get clothes to come off, but they do help keep them off once she's naked.

 

[IBreatheSpears]

Thanks everyone, good advice so far. If it happens again I'll either agree-and-amplify while showing with my actions that I don't actually believe what I'm saying ("You're hideous" while kissing her) or reframe ("Don't be so vain", "Don't ask stupid questions", etc.). Next time I actually see her naked I'll try a light compliment, e.g. just a smirk and an "Mmm" sound. I'm not a big fan of verbal compliments, I think they usually sound forced unless very terse (e.g. a single word, like "Sexy" while smirking).

And yeah, I'm not looking for anything long-term, just FWBs, so I shall try to remain detached. Especially with this girl -- she's dark triad. But then, so am I, and we kind of bonded over it in a weird way.

 

[AttackFormation]

Is she some dumb broad who's simply fishing for attention? "of course not, I think you're beautiful... like the face of a jagged rock" - OMG WHAT?!?!?! youre so mean!!! "not meaner than you are about me"
Is she actually insecure, especially if you could see her as LTR material? "do you think a man like me would lie in a bed next to an ugly girl?"

Just depends on whether you want to knock her down or lift her up.

 

[yesplz]

"Yeah. That's why I'm lying in your bed. Dumbass."

 

[IBreatheSpears]

Since it's been brought up, how do you avoid developing feelings for FWBs? It happened before to me. I figure spinning plates is good, but at the moment I don't have any other plates to spin (working on it).

 

[adam225]

This morning I was at this girl's house in her bed. We hadn't had sex yet but I knew it was coming. Out of nowhere she said, "Do you think I'm really ugly?". I figured it was probably a shít test but she has told me that she has very low self-esteem before so it may have just been genuine insecurity because she also said that when she took her clothes off she thought I became distant.

I wasn't sure what to say, so in response I laughed "What?", then said "Yeah, totally" in a sarcastic tone (I thought of agree & amplify but now I think it was a mistake). She said "okay" in a small voice. I asked why I'd think so, and she said she didn't know. I seem to have gotten away with it but I'm wondering if anyone can think of a good way to respond to that.

What do you think? How would you respond?

I'd of responded - "I wouldn't be with you if you were".

 

[Turuwal]

In mocking "sh1t test" voice:

"Are you saying I'm desperate?"