Accepting a girl's feelings

[Hoodie]

I exchanged snapchat details with this girl I met on a dating app (I suggested something else but she wanted snapchat, so o well).
After a few days of sending msg's I proceeded to ask if she wanted to hang out.
She told me she wasn't ready to meet anyone now, she had alot of focus on taking over an apartment and not dating.

Now, this would make you question:
Why was she on a dating app and why did she give me snapchat details after matching with me if she wasn't ready to meet and didn't focus on dating?

Instead I just said: "I understand, let me know if you want to meet me when you feel ready for it or if you change your mind. "

It didn't turn into any back and forth discussion or rudeness.

Now I know that she won't say in the future "I feel ready now, I want to meet you".

But atleast we're on good terms, and the probability of her reaching out to me is higher than if I tried to argue about the lack of logic of her feelings.
Or if I showed signs of frustration over the fact that she didn't feel like it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What she actually said was:

"I am focused on meeting other people and not you".

 

[Hoodie]

What she actually said was:

"I am focused on meeting other people and not you".

If you want to assume, the point of the post is to not argue or discuss it. Just accept how she feels, because then you're on good terms.
So you're more likely to get a yes if you ask again in the future if her feelings has changed.

It's like no matter what you say or argue with, it won't change her feelings.
So it's just better to not do it.
"Fine" -- Try again at a later point.

 

[BPH]

More girls are on dating apps for validation and attention than for actually meeting up.

Assume that's the case and invest your time elsewhere.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you want to assume, the point of the post is to not argue or discuss it. Just respect how she feels, because then you're on good terms.
So you're more likely to get a yes if you ask again in the future if her feelings has changed.

It's like no matter what you say or argue with, it won't change her feelings.
So it's just better to not do it.
"Fine" -- Try again at a later point.

Women typically don't try and hurt guys feelings and let them down easy.

Just like when a woman says "It's not you, it's me..."

It's never them, it's always you in their mind. It just sounds better and more believable.

Or when they flake on dates with reasons that "sound good" but are simply ways of telling you they don't want to meet.

Reading between the lines with what women are actually saying is a skill most men don't develop, hence why they struggle because they take what they say at face value.

 

[New_Journey]

Don't use logic when dealing with women, your head will explode and won't get to any solutions.

Women are not be understood, just to be fvcked.

 

[Hoodie]

Women typically don't try and hurt guys feelings and let them down easy.

Just like when a woman says "It's not you, it's me..."

It's never them, it's always you in their mind. It just sounds better and more believable.

Or when they flake on dates with reasons that "sound good" but are simply ways of telling you they don't want to meet.

Reading between the lines with what women are actually saying is a skill most men don't develop, hence why they struggle because they take what they say at face value.

Why care about why she feels the way she feels?
It won't change the fact she feels that way.
You're missing the point of the post, which is that arguing against a woman's feelings is pointless.
Instead you want to make it about me not being good enough.
I'm not dumb, if I was Brad Pitt or if I did a better job, she probably would've said yes.
But that's not why I made this post.

 

[oOh Nasty]

I would have just not responded. Doing things to "respect a girl's feelings," especially someone you met on a dating app is simp behavior. Not saying that what you did specifically is simpish, but this line of thinking (trying to respect a girl's feelings) will lead you down the path of being a beta boy. She's on that dating app and gave you her snapchat so that she can sift through hundreds of messages and find the guy who gives her the tingles. It's a win/win for her because you gave her validation and she didn't give you a single thing.

If you had to say anything, it probably should have just been "bet" and then never send another message to her again unless she sends you 3 in a row.

Fundamental rule is, actions over words, d!ck in v@gina over everything else. If you tried to escalate through text in some way, but she hasn't reciprocated after so many days, then don't waste anymore energy on her. Girls with snapchats are for the streets. Treat them as such. Heart emojis don't mean **** when she's being plowed by Alpha dude that she agreed to meet.

 

[Hoodie]

I would have just not responded. Doing things to "respect a girl's feelings," especially someone you met on a dating app is simp behavior. Not saying that what you did specifically is simpish, but this line of thinking (trying to respect a girl's feelings) will lead you down the path of being a beta boy. She's on that dating app and gave you her snapchat so that she can sift through hundreds of messages and find the guy who gives her the tingles. It's a win/win for her because you gave her validation and she didn't give you a single thing.

If you had to say anything, it probably should have just been "bet" and then never send another message to her again unless she sends you 3 in a row.

Fundamental rule is, actions over words, d!ck in v@gina over everything else. If you tried to escalate through text in some way, but she hasn't reciprocated after so many days, then don't waste anymore energy on her. Girls with snapchats are for the streets. Treat them as such. Heart emojis don't mean **** when she's being plowed by Alpha dude that she agreed to meet.

I could've framed it as "Don't argue against women's feelings", cause that's what I'm trying to get at here.

But the rest you said, I agree with.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why care about why she feels the way she feels?
It won't change the fact she feels that way.
You're also missing the point of the post, which is that arguing against a woman's feelings is pointless.
Instead you want to make it about me not being good enough.
I'm not dumb, if I was Brad Pitt or if I did a better job, she probably would've said yes.
But that's not why I made this post.

I don't care about why they feel that way. I care about" am I wasting my time with this woman".

It has nothing to do with you not being good enough. It has to do with her not being interested.

Respecting her feelings should play no part in it.

Respecting yourself enough to not waste any more of your time with her should.

It's about you, not her.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

She told me she wasn't ready to meet anyone now, she had alot of focus on taking over an apartment and not dating.

Women say this, then the very next night get their backs blown out by Chad

 

[Hoodie]

I don't care about why they feel that way. I care about" am I wasting my time with this woman".

It has nothing to do with you not being good enough. It has to do with her not being interested.

Respecting her feelings should play no part in it.

Respecting yourself enough to not waste any more of your time with her should.

It's about you, not her.

Let me frame it another way "Not arguing against her feelings". I won't use any more attention on her, unless she reaches out to me, you are right about that.
But I won't go sobbing about how I'm not good enough.
I will continue doing what I do, and look for new prospects if the circumstances are right.

 

[Serenity]

This is a funny exchange of opinions to me. You pretty much agree on what to do, let it go and move on, but have slightly different perspectives on it. Both reaching the same end through slightly different paths.

 

[Hoodie]

Don't use logic when dealing with women, your head will explode and won't get to any solutions.

Women are not be understood, just to be fvcked.

Right, women are loyal to their feelings always and will forgo logic the moment their feelings tells them something else.
Perhaps you will be right, but her feelings will still be the same.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Why does she feel that way towards you and why you should let it go?

Because “attraction cannot be negotiated”.

In the big scheme of things, there is not much you can do if someone doesn’t want a friendship or romantic relationship with you, is it?

 

[Hoodie]

I don't care about why they feel that way. I care about" am I wasting my time with this woman".

It has nothing to do with you not being good enough. It has to do with her not being interested.

Respecting her feelings should play no part in it.

Respecting yourself enough to not waste any more of your time with her should.

It's about you, not her.

I won't pay any more attention to her now.

Writing it down now, it sounds like it was calculated, but it wasn't. I didn't feel faced by it.

I guess it's hard to fake how you feel and react to things.

Women are so good at seeing through that ****.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't care about why they feel that way. I care about" am I wasting my time with this woman".

It has nothing to do with you not being good enough. It has to do with her not being interested.

Respecting her feelings should play no part in it.

Respecting yourself enough to not waste any more of your time with her should.

It's about you, not her.

^^^^^^^This OP. I am a woman. Most women will NOT tell you the truth. They will not say "I'm not attracted to you." Instead they will make excuses and do exactly what this girl did to you.

Her apartment excuse is not true. Please.

Do not expect the truth, but learn to understand that she is NOT attracted if she gives you a terrible excuse.

Here you think "OK cool. We are on good terms for later....." Um, no. She wants to never hear from you. Go meet other girls.

Men are delusional and have big egos. Men hate rejection. So men often tell themselves the woman's excuse is true. It isn't. It means NO and Go Away.

But men don't want to hear that. They want to believe the excuses (lies) rather than accept rejection.

I learned to tell men I was not attracted and not interested. This is very direct but then men would understand to leave me alone, and it means I am not interested and that is not going to change.

Sometimes even then, because they couldn't digest the answer, and because I was polite, men would think that I meant to try harder. Um, NO. So I would tell those guys, "Listen. I told you I'm not attracted to you and not interested in you. I was honest but nice about it. If you like I will be a b i t c h but I'd rather be polite. The answer is no. Now plase leave me alone."

Brutual but effective, and it does not waste the man's time or get his hopes up in some fantasy scenario.

But less than 2% of women have the guts to politely tell the truth. 98% of the time you get excuses like what OP got.

It's a no. Meet other women & delete this one.

 

[Hoodie]

^^^^^^^This OP. I am a woman. Most women will NOT tell you the truth. They will not say "I'm not attracted to you." Instead they will make excuses and do exactly what this girl did to you.

Her apartment excuse is not true. Please.

Do not expect the truth, but learn to understand that she is NOT attracted if she gives you a terrible excuse.

Here you think "OK cool. We are on good terms for later....." Um, no. She wants to never hear from you. Go meet other girls.

Men are delusional and have big egos. Men hate rejection. So men often tell themselves the woman's excuse is true. It isn't. It means NO and Go Away.

But men don't want to hear that. They want to believe the excuses (lies) rather than accept rejection.

I learned to tell men I was not attracted and not interested. This is very direct but then men would understand to leave me alone, and it means I am not interested and that is not going to change.

Even then, because they couldn't digest the answer, and because I was polite, that I meant to try harder. Um, NO. So I would tell those guys, "Listen. I told you I'm not attracted to you and not interested in you. I was nice about it. If you like I will be a b i t c h but I'd rather be polite. The answer is no. No plase leave me alone."

Brutual but effective, and it does not waste the man's time or get his hopes up in some fantasy scenario.

But less than 2% of women have the guts to politely tell the truth. 98% of the time you get excuses like what OP got.

It's a no. Meet other women & delete this one.

And if she reaches out to me again?

 

[BeExcellent]

We will address that when it happens, which it won't.

Until then meet other girls.

 

[Hoodie]

We will address that when it happens, which it won't.

Until then meet other girls.

I don't make assumptions because of this, because women's feelings change.
As long as you don't burn bridges because you assume things for a certainty.
There is a possibility they will come back.
But I don't care if she doesn't come back either.